Jonathan Dehn
WWE Smackdown
04/11/2014
Lafayette, Louisiana
-Before the signature, WWE flashes a Warrior graphic up on the screen, and promotes that they will have a memorial episode of Raw following his shocking death.
-The show begins proper with John Cena coming down to the ring. There’s not much of a sign of those “John Cena Sucks!” chants that run along with his music. Cena makes sure that the crowd is ready to go during this busy week and recaps WrestleMania quickly. Cena loses his cap when acknowledging the death of the streak. Cena encourages the new lyrics to his theme music, because he appreciates that. Cena references Bo Dallas, RUSEV and Paige and their futures. Cena says that through all of this, he doesn’t have a moniker, as he’s just the measuring stick known as John Cena. The Wyatt Family interrupts this, from backstage. Harper begins the promo, telling Cena to embrace his future of pain, given to him by Bray Wyatt. Bray follows up by saying that he feels good, seeing that John Cena is not hollow, and sees the struggle, as he does within himself. Bray promises to go to new “extremes” to bring the monster out in John Cena. I see what he did there. Bray ends this promo with song.
Big Show vs. Cesaro
Paul Heyman steps out onto the stage to introduce Cesaro as an advocate. It seems that Cesaro is without music for the time being. On the way to the ring, Heyman declares Cesaro as The Next Big Thing. The two begin with a hardy handshake. Cesaro shoves Big Show out of a lockup, and Big Show returns the favor. Big Show runs through Cesaro with a couple of shoulderblocks, and pulls him back onto the apron for a chop that spills him back outside. On the way back in, Cesaro hits a big boot, but struggles to suplex him back into the ring. Cesaro goes for the sunset flip bomb to the outside, but Big Show sits on his chest, instead. A typo right there could have been embarrassing. Big Show goes for the knuckle sandwich, and Cesaro bails. Heyman advises him to take away Show’s air, and send him back to the ring as we go to break.
We’re back with Big Show chopping Cesaro in the corner. Big Show then runs into a big boot, and is latched onto with a sleeper. Cesaro dangles from the big friggin’ guy. Big Show finally shrugs him off in the corner, but misses a charge and is latched onto again. Big Show fades but tosses him away and hits a couple of clotheslines. Cesaro whirls around from a shoulderblock. Cesaro escapes a chokeslam by going right back to the sleeper. Big Show has enough and just falls back onto Cesaro. Big Show goes up to the second rope but misses the big elbow. JBL immediately calls for the GIANT SWING. Jack Swagger runs in and interrupts the attempt to give the DQ. Big Show dumps Swagger, but Cesaro attacks, taking him down with an uppercut raining down from the top. Cesaro cracks the neck, and the Swiss Superman gives The Big Show a Neutralizer like a beast. Well, that’s a perfect finisher, since he can hit anyone on earth with it.
Final Thoughts: **. This was fine, and perhaps a bit better than I would have first imagined. Cesaro’s approach in wearing down Show was done well, and I found myself entertained by sleeper holds. Hopefully, they’ll have a new, badass theme song figured out for him by Monday and keep him on this tweener course they seem to have plotted for him.
-I’m possible!
Rybaxel vs. Los Matadores
Fun fact: I can’t tell Los Matadores apart. Then again, neither can the table. Ryback whiffs on some strikes and gets chopped to start. Diego, I think, hits a dropkick in transition and gets the boots up in the corner. He comes off of the top, but gets caught in a slam. Axel enters and stomps away. He’s got some new and spiffy knee pads. Curtis hits the boomerang clotheslines and follows with a knee lift. Ryback reenters, and they combined with some corner charges that pick up a two count. Ryback goes to the chinlock.
Ryback asks Diego just who rules. Ryback hits a knee lift, but eats an enzuigiri after a failed jackhammer attempt. Axel tags back in, but flubs the cutoff. Los Matadores get the tag and Axel takes some punishment, a headscissors in the corner followed by a chop from the second buckle. Curtis takes a DDT, but Ryback breaks up the count and gets dumped. Torito dives onto Ryback, but is caught. Torito is saved by some intervention, but back in the ring, Axel cleans up with the reverse neckbreaker. I really dig Rybaxel’s new theme.
Final Thoughts: *1/2. This was absolutely fine, and Rybaxel needed the win here.
-Renee runs into RVD backstage. Things are changing, but everything’s cool when you’re RVD.
Damien Sandow vs. Rob Van Dam
Sandow gets the jobber entrance and looks like he doesn’t want to live. He asked for this rematch to embarrass himself, I guess. RVD gets a quick rollup for two, and follows with a superkick. RVD goes to taunt, but Sandow has none of it. RVD hits a wheel kick in the corner and follows with Rolling Thunder. Sandow is outside, and dodges a moonsault from the apron. Sandow throws him from apron to barricade, and rolls him back in for two. Damien clubs away and goes to the chinlock. Sandow fights off a comeback, hitting a knee drop and the elbow of lesser importance for two. “Wrong time to come back!” yells Sandow before driving an elbow on the apron. Sandow goes back to the chinlock. RVD gets the boot up in the corner, gets a leg powered rollup for two, and hits a wheel kick. Rob goes to the top, but Sandow interrupts the taunt once more. RVD shoves him off the top, and hits the frog splash for the win.
Final Thoughts: *1/2. This was just fine, and Sandow didn’t look like a complete jobber, at least. I’m not sure if this is good for Sandow, or damaging for Van Dam.
-Hulk Hogan walks on out. Hogan says that Bryan turned WrestleMania into…you know. Hogan got chills. He’s proud to introduce Bryan, who comes out to a huge ovation and gets his hand shake from Hogan. Bryan is having a pretty good week. Being in the ring with Hulk Hogan is the capper, and he recalls how his upbringing makes him still a Hulkamaniac. Bryan requests to see Hogan cup the ear and rile up the crowd. This, of course, leads to Bryan also posing with Hogan. Hulk directs him in just how to space out his poses. This feel-good moment is surprisingly not interrupted by The Authority.
Kofi Kingston vs. Bad News Barrett
Before the match can begin, Bad News takes the microphone. Kofi tries to interrupt, but gets slugged and alerted that he’s in for some bad news. Kofi comes back with a dropkick out of the corner and some strikes. Kofi follows with a crossbody for two. Barrett tosses Kofi, but Kingston skins the cat, ducks the elbow, and hits the clotheslines. Kofi hits The Boom Drop, but Barrett takes a powder before he can take a TiP. Kofi chases BNB, but runs into The Bullhammer while attempting TiP.
Final Thoughts: Pretty much a squash, but it’s weird to see Barrett hamming it up and being entertaining again. And what’s that? Is that…momentum for Wade Barrett?? BY GAWD, it’s positive momentum!
Santino Morella vs. Fandango
Emma is with Santino, as usual…and Layla now dances with Fandango! The room is spinning. Oh yeah, Layla can dance. I forgot about her background with both the NBA and Extreme Expose, if I’m spelling it correctly. They grapple a bit to start, with Fandango getting the upper hand. Santino whiffs on a chop and takes more punishment. Fandango hits a back elbow for two. Santino hits a hip toss and goes for the Cobra. Layla steals the sock puppet, and Fandango gets a rollup for the cheap win. This was merely a comedy squash.
Final Thoughts: At least Layla is going somewhere.
-A truly terrific party needs little people and bunnies, and now the wrestling world knows.
-In the office, Corporate Kane tries to rally Batista and Randy Orton. They still argue over who is getting the title shot and whatnot. Kane reminds them that they all answer to a higher power…erm, authority. Orton and Batista don’t trust Kane, because heels are smart.
The Usos and Daniel Bryan vs. Kane, Batista and Randy Orton
Jey and Batista begin, with Jey getting strikes in the corner. Jimmy tags in and delivers a chop, and gets the boot up. Batista answers back, catching Jimmy and getting a spinebuster for two. Randy enters the match and stomps a mudhole and poses to the fans. Jimmy has his ribs taped. Correction, Jimmy had his ribs taped, and Randy tore it away before we go to break.
We return with Kane swatting at the flying Uso for two. Batista returns and hits some shoulderthrusts in the corner. With the referee’s back turned, Randy delivers some punishment. Orton comes back in and gives Jimmy a guillotine that garners a two count. Randy teases the hot tag, and cuts off a comeback. He drops Jimmy stomach first on the top rope and moves to a grounded rear waistlock. Jimmy elbows and chops out, but Orton brushes it off and hits a dropkick with swagger. Corporate Kane comes in and hits a corner clothesline and side slam for two. Jimmy fights back with elbow, but takes a hair pull back to the mat. Orton pops back in to put on a cover before moving to a body scissors. Randy absorbs some chops like a puro badass and hits a powerslam. He takes his eye off of the ball and takes a Samoan drop.
Kane nearly cuts off the hot tag, but Bryan comes in with a missile dropkick and nip up. Bryan kicks the turnbuckle into Kane’s face and flips out of the corner. Bryan hits the clothesline and chops away. Kane ducks the buzzsaw, but charges right out of the ring. Bryan dives out, as do The Usos, leaving everyone lying. The match breaks down into a brawl on the outside of the ring. The match ends with a no contest. The Usos are leveled and thrown back into the ring by Orton and Batista. Batista serves Randy an Uso for an RKO, and Randy feeds Batista an Uso for the powerbomb. Meanwhile, Kane readies the announce table for a chokeslam.
Seth Rollins leaps in out of nowhere, and The Shield put the boots to Kane to a big pop. The Shield enters the ring…Orton and Batista back away. Kane reenters the ring with a chair, but takes The Cena Killer from a returning Bryan before doing any more damage. Bryan steps off to the side for The Shield to powerbomb Kane to finish up the show.
Final Thoughts: **3/4. This was absolutely fine and a good TV main event that pushed things along just a bit. Randy Orton was great in this match with his taunts and execution. The Shield run-in worked out nicely, with war being declared and such.
–There was nothing in this show that would blow someone away, but it was solid enough. There was a lack of clean finishes for both Cesaro/Big Show and the main event, but both satisfied the crowd and had winners and losers in the segments. The show moved along at a good pace, but I have to admit that the segment for Bryan and Hogan was over the top corny. Then again, you can’t have Hogan in the ring without it being corny. It’s just…wrong to have it get serious and never winds up being what people want. I always think of Kidman’s feud with Hulk Hogan after Russo and Bischoff took power in WCW to remind myself that a dark, serious Hogan is super lame.
