Jonathan Dehn
WWE Smackdown
05/30/2014
Atlanta, Georgia
-The Shied come down to the ring to begin the show. I wonder if these guys ever get real bruises from all of the fans reaching over to give them slaps of encouragement. Seth has words about being stronger since they didn’t die on Monday. We get a video package from Monday. You know things are serious when HHH brings out the sledgehammer on family programming. Dean is pumped up to show Evolution just how low and crazy they’ll get on Sunday. Seth is looking forward to eliminating Batista and Randy Orton and having HHH by himself. Seth paints a vivid picture. Reigns tells Evolution that it was a big mistake to powerbomb him on Monday and that they’re going to tear apart the ringside area.
Kofi Kingston vs. Cesaro
Cesaro gets a fireman’s carry on Kofi, and grabs an arm. Kofi ducks a clothesline, but takes a shoulderblock. Cesaro blocks an armdrag and turns it into a beastly backbreaker. Cesaro presses Kofi and drops him to the mat. Cesaro follows with a double stomp that adds to Heyman’s pleasure. Kofi answers with a dropkick from the second buckle and gets the boot up in the corner. He springs back in with a clothesline for two. Kofi hits a spinkick for two. Kofi gets out of a powerslam and gets a rollup for two. Kofi comes off of the top with a crossbody…but BAM! MDK uppercut ends it abruptly. After the match, Cesaro hits a Neutralizer for fun.
Final Thoughts: *1/2. This wasn’t more than a squash, but a terrifically executed one. Cesaro looked great, since Kofi never gets beaten like that. It’s shocking to see someone booked so strongly like that.
-Bad News Barrett is backstage with Renee. Wade doesn’t fear RVD at Payback, and will show English superiority against Sheamus.
Tamina vs. Paige
Tamina shoves Paige off of a lockup, but they reengage and Paige gets some strikes. Alicia Fox comes down to the ring to distract Paige. Paige gets a crossbody, but walks into a right to the stomach as Alicia takes cell phone pictures with fans. Fox grabs the belt and parades around the ring with it. Paige loses focus again and gets her head taken off with a superkick. Paige gets out at two. Paige gets some clotheslines and hits a dropkick to her face. Paige gets some knees and then yells at Foxx. Paige fights out of the Samoan drop and gets the Paige Turner. She locks in what is now known as the PTO. Fox dances with the belt before leaving it on the ramp for Paige.
Final Thoughts: Meh…this did no favors for anyone. I understand that they want to keep going with Fox, but Tamina just looked terrible in not being able to put away Paige, who looked stupid by paying far too much attention to Alicia.
-Sheamus is backstage with Rene and talks about how Cesaro made their feud worse on Monday, saying it was like a feeding a gremlin after midnight. Anyhow, Sheamus makes fun of English teeth and claims that he’ll knock them out in their match
Xavier Woods vs. Bo Dallas
Bo thanks for the fans for his early success before the match. Bo is pleased to start the match with a couple of armdrags. Xavier grabs a headlock and follows with a dropkick. Dallas dumps Woods to the outside after working out of a rear waistlock. Back inside, Bo hits a back suplex and a few knee drops. Dallas puts on a neck vise. Woods hits a jab and follows with a comeback. Woods hits the Honor Roll and goes to the top. Dallas hits a dropkick to Woods on the way down. Bo-Dog gets the win for Dallas. Bo gets on the microphone after that match and declares that everyone in the crowd is a winner. Ever the good sport, he thanks Woods for a good match.
Final Thoughts: This was a somewhat clunky squash. But, I think the gimmick is already starting to catch on.
El Torito vs. Jinder Mahal
Torito is lost without his tail. Torito dropkicks the knee and puts the horns into Jinder’s butt. Mahal gets out of the way of a crossbody and hits an atomic drop. The table is obnoxious. There are hijinks outside, and El Torito gets a sunset bomb on Mahal and hits a moonsault for the win. After the match, Torito grabs a pair of shears after Horny tries to attack. Hornswoggle runs away.
Final Thoughts: This was a segment and it was terrible.
Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett
Paul Heyman joins us at the table. Sheamus gets a shoulderblock after the initial lockup, and Barrett answers with some strikes. Sheamus returns fire as we hear what could be a split crowd. Sheamus bursts from a corner with a clothesline and chokes with a knee. Wade gets an elbow up in the corner and actually hits a suplex out of the corner. Sheamus gets Barrett into the rope, but, BNB climbs him out of the ring. From the apron, Wade comes down with an elbow drop. Back inside, that gets just one. Barrett stomps in the corner, but Sheamus powers out. Sheamus hits his rolling senton and clotheslines Barrett from the ring. Sheamus runs through Barrett, leaping off of the apron with his battering ram. Wade avoids the stairs and kicks them back into Sheamus’ knee. He follows with a clothesline and we go to break.
We return with Sheamus caught in a rear chinlock. Sheamus fights out and gets a flourish comeback, until running into Barrett’s knee in the corner. Barrett nails him with a sidekick to the head for two. Sheamus answers with an Irish Curse for two. Sheamus goes clobbering with Barrett and carries him back into the ring. Barrett ducks a Brogue and gets two from a Winds of Change. Sheamus rolls through on Winds of Change and becomes WWE’s Linear Champion with a Brogue. After the match, Sheamus stares down Heyman to no effect.
Final Thoughts: That was so very short for the hype they had given the match earlier on in the show. **1/2. So, this was decent but certainly chopped up and not the match it could have been.
-The Usos are backstage with Renee and are looking forward to their future on the show. They’re hyped up. But can they stay hyped?
Titus O’Neil vs. Big E
Big E is carrying the U.S. Flag these days and is going for that gimmick now. Hey, it’s easy babyface heat. Before the match begins, Rusev interrupts, as he is the only one allowed to squash African Americans. Lana gets some heel heat. O’Neil takes advantage of Lana catching Big E’s eye. He slugs away, but Big E catches him with a suplex and drives him into the corner. Big E runs through him and hits the big splash. THE STRAPS COME DOWN and The Big Ending finishes this up.
Final Thoughts: Well, the match between Rusev and Big E could be fun at Payback. I think that Chicago is down for a little fun with that. I mean, it’s not like Rusev is a Pole. He’d probably be a babyface in Chicago. Damn, now I want to see Rusev and Alex Wright right trying to get at each other but just beating up Scott Putski, who just happens to find himself stuck between them.
Jack Swagger vs. Adam Rose
If you’d like to see a good use of Rose, make sure to catch NXT Takeover. Rose actually begins the match with his lollipop in his mouth. Adam offers the treat to Swagger, but Jack isn’t having it. Swagger finally gets a rear waistlock, but Adam Rose brings the babyface comedy. He sends Swagger running with a Bugs Bunny maneuver. Rose has Swagger chase him around and suffer with a few boots. Rose gets a flash pinfall to finish this thing.
Final Thoughts: It was fine, but not a match. We’ll just go forward from here. It was far too cute. I just wasn’t feeling it, is what I’m getting at.
Last Man Standing Match – Bray Wyatt vs. Jimmy Uso
Gee, who do you think is winning? Bray slugs away to begin, taking Jimmy to the mat. He slugs in the corner and throws him to the mat. The referee does an arbitrary count for Bray after some knockdowns. Jimmy gets a leg lariat. Bray goes outside after getting his neck draped on the top rope. Jimmy hits a dive, and Bray gets up at 5. We hit the break.
We return with Bray running over Jimmy in the corner. Bray poses in the corner and the count gets up to six on Jimmy. He tries to fight out of his corner, but that doesn’t go well. Wyatt throws him with a suplex, and Jimmy slowly fights back to his feet. Jimmy comes back with a Samoan drop. They both get up before 6. Bray misses a charge and falls out over the top rope. Jimmy runs the rail, but Bray ducks. He doesn’t duck a superkick, however. Bray gets up at seven. Back inside, Bray tackles him and starts spider walking. Jimmy gets slugged a bit more in the corner.
To the top they go. Jimmy shoves Bray off and hits him with splash from the top. Bray gets up at eight and tosses Jimmy out. Bray runs through him and looks for a piledriver on the outside, but Jimmy counters with an enzuigiri. The piledriver tease doesn’t work unless you have more than one piledriver in the last fifteen years. Jimmy runs into Bray and hits the hip smash into the barricade. Bray gets back to his feet at nine. Harper and Rowan start attacking. Jimmy tries the same move into the steps, but Bray moves out of the way. Sister Abigail ends it.
Final Thoughts: **. The finish was never in doubt, and I felt that just bothering to put Bray down until nine was a bit much.
–This was a sleepy show, and we’re not going to remember it. Watch NXT from last night, instead.
