Jonathan Dehn
WWE Payback
06/01/2014
Chicago (Rosemont), Illinois
–I decided to watch the Kings and Blackhawks before watching this show. I’m a bit bummed out at the result, so bear with me if I seem either overly critical or overly entertained. I didn’t enjoy the pre-show match between El Torito and Hornswoggle, if that’s a good barometer.
United States Title – Sheamus vs. Cesaro
Before the match, Paul Heyman steps out to rile up the crowd with talk of CM Punk being at the Blackhawks game across town. He says that the Kings will break the Hawks’ winning streak (yep, sure happened) and moves that into a mention of Brock Lesnar beating Undertaker at WrestleMania. Sheamus is quick to begin, slugging and hitting a knee lift before Cesaro fights back with a back suplex. Cesaro gets an uppercut and pound away in the corner before Sheamus fires back with a scoop slam. Cesaro dodges an elbow and leans into the corner with an uppercut. After a few of those, Sheamus hits the rolling senton.
Cesaro gets caught in the ropes and Sheamus goes clubbering. Sheamus gives him two rounds. Outside, Sheamus tosses Cesaro into the barricade and tosses him back in. Sheamus goes for his battering ram, but Cesaro nails him with an uppercut that sends him outside. Cesaro brings him back in with that impressive suplex for two. Cesaro hits a double underhook powerbomb and follows with a double stomp for another two. Cesaro hits a couple of uppercuts in the corner, but then runs into an Irish Curse for two. Sheamus stomps in the corner and hits and short armed clothesline. Sheamus gets a kneedrop from the second rope, and hits it three times for a two count. Meanwhile, the crowd give him a “Let’s go Sheamus! Sheamus sucks!” chant.
Cesaro returns fire with a spinning uppercut for two. Sheamus gets the boots up in the corner, and does it again. Sheamus climbs to the top, but rolls off. Cesaro catches him on the rebound, hoists him into the air and gets two from the MDK. Cesaro slaps at Sheamus, but this just fires him up and he hits a powerslam for two. Sheamus calls for The Brogue. Cesaro sidesteps and gets a German suplex for two. Sheamus reverses a Neutralizer into White Noise for two. These guys are just beasts. The crowd doesn’t but the cloverleaf that Sheamus goes for. He eventually gets it, but Cesaro makes it to the rope. Cesaro battles back and puts Sheamus over his back like an accordion before bringing him down for two. GIANT SWING goes for many revolutions. Cesaro gloats, but Sheamus is able to catch him with a small package for the win.
Final Thoughts: ***1/2. Good, good match. Sheamus showed some hints of a heel turn with his sadistic streak coming out once more. The finish worked for me, since it was all that Sheamus could really come up with and certainly came out of nowhere. At the same time, I’m not sure where they go from here.
The Rhodes Bros vs. Rybaxel
This was just added to the card due to Rybaxel teasing The Rhodes Bros after they lost on Raw. Goldust and Axel start as the fans chant for their hockey team, which lost. They exchange blows before Goldust hits an inverted atomic drop. He grabs and armdrag and Cody comes in with an elbow. Ryback enters and slugs away, but Cody gets out of a suplex and hits a dropkick. Goldust and Cody double team, but Axel enters and hits a running knee. Curtis slugs and brings back Ryback. They run into the corner on Goldy and Ryback hits a scoop slam. Ryback hits a splash and brings in Axel with an elbow drop for two.
Ryback returns and he slugs away. Ryback hits a suplex for two. Goldust come back, but Ryback continues working the arm with a hammerlock scoop slam. Goldust grabs a small package for two, but Ryback takes control again. Goldust comes back out of the corner with an elbow and looks for the tag. Axel breaks it up, but gets a boot to the face. Goldust hits a sunset flip with stank on it and goes for the tag. Cody gets it and is a house of fire, hitting Ryback with a clothesline. Cody springs back in with a dropkick and gives Axel one as Curtis comes off the top. Cody hits a sloppy moonsault onto both of them. Ryback catches Cody on a Disaster Kick and hits a powerbomb into Goldust. Meathook gets two. Goldust dumps Axel, and Cody hits a Cross Rhodes that Axel breaks up. Cody dumps Axel and looks for another Disaster Kick. Ryback catches him and hits Shell Shocked for the win.
After the match, Goldust looks to comfort Cody. Cody claims that is just fine and grabs the microphone. Cody says, brother to brother, that Goldust needs a better tag team partner. Cody breaks up the team and then walks out.
Final Thoughts: **. This was perfectly fine, and very sad. I’m still expecting a heel turn, but we’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.
Rusev vs. Big E
Oh, Rusev resides in MOSCOW, now. Also, his tron video is 65% Putin. Rusev and Big E wave their flags at each other with contempt. They start by colliding in the ring and exchanging blows. Rusev drops Big E ON HIS HEAD with a German, but now residing in MOSCOW suplex. Rusev slugs away. Rusev hits a corner charge, and goes for another. Big E comes forward with something of a sloppy slam. HOLY SHIT, Big E spears Rusev out of the ring and nearly kills both of them. Big E favors the shoulder while rolling Rusev back in for two. Big E goes for the big splash, but Rusev takes his head off with a superkick. Lana tells him to crush him, and Rusev puts on The Accolade for the win.
Final Thoughts: *1/2. This was short, quick and brutal. Big E and Rusev might be legitimately injured after this violent match.
Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas
It’s obvious just how thrown together this match is, since Kofi doesn’t even have pyro. Bo gets on the microphone and tells the fans that even though the Blackhawks will lose, they’re still winners if they BOlieve. Kane pops in for no good reason just as the match starts. Bo, smart like a heel is leaves. Kane tosses Kofi from the ring and gives him a big boot. Back inside, Kane hits a chokeslam. Then, he hits a tombstone and lights up the ring posts. After Kane leaves, Bo has the microphone and tells Kofi not to worry and that he’ll be back on his feet in no time, as long as he BOlieves of course.
Final Thoughts: Well, Kane must BOlieve. Still a simple challenge would have worked nicely. They just didn’t have enough booked for this show, obviously.
Intercontinental Title – Rob Van Dam vs. Bad News Barrett ©
Barrett also has a microphone and has to talk before his match. This is starting to feel like a show that an e-fed would run. “See, this is why we’re having this match!” BNB tells RVD that his elbow is going to send him on a permanent vacation, since he’s old. To begin, they slug it out a bit before RVD hits a spinkick. Barrett stomps in the corner, but Rob drives a shoulder into the corner. Barrett answers with a neckbreaker for two. Van Dam hits a wheel kick and kicks Barrett outside. Barrett tumbles into the barricade and gets tosses into the empty first row. Rob drapes him over the barricade and helicopters down with a legdrop. Back inside, Rob comes back in with a legdrop for two. Barrett catches RVD in the corner with a big kick to the gut. Barrett follows it up with a big boot from the apron and to the wall. BNB hits his Cactus Jack elbow drop and leaves RVD on the outside.
Rob just makes it back in before the count finishes and gets hung up on the top rope, where Barrett drives in a knee for two. Bad News Barrett goes to the rear chinlock while it’s comedy time at the table. Rob steps through with a kick after fighting out of a pumphandle. RVD hits a couple of clotheslines and puts him into the corner. RVD kicks him down, and follows with a superkick. That sets up Rolling Thunder and he goes to the top. Rob crashes and burns. Rob dodges the Bullhammer and gets a rollup for two. Barrett answers with Winds of Change for two. Outside, Barrett hits the Bullhammer….on the ring post. Rob comes back in with a sweet tornado DDT that also gets two. Barrett gets the knees up on the split legged moonsault, and hits a Bullhammer to retain.
Final Thoughts: **1/2. This was solid, but I’m not sure the reason for Barrett to first hit the post with his elbow if he was just going to win with it anyway. I guess that he looked really tough. The table is just going everywhere with their attempts at humor tonight. I’ll guess that Vince isn’t feeding them those lines.
-Stephanie is out to get her belts back from Bryan. Bryan is still very over. Stephanie is happy that Brie is out there, because of…something. Oh, she wants Bryan to need be selfish for their future children. Bryan gives her the chance to not go through with this. Stephanie says that CM Punk would want Bryan to quit, since the name came up from the crowd. They’re shootin’…Tony?? Bryan counters with the fact that Steph’s own children are watching. Still, Stephanie wants the belts, even though Brie calls her bitch. Brie claims that Steph doesn’t control her. Stephanie is somewhat happy when Brie just quits. She’s not so happy when Brie slaps her across the face. The crowd erupts at Steph being hit, of course. Steph just runs away from the situation. The crowd is happy, so that’s what counts. I’m guessing that Brie is brought back to get beaten up by…Tamina.
Last Man Standing Match – Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena
The Wyatt Family surround the ring before the match begins, so Cena gets some support from The Usos. They duke it out to begin, with Bray getting control in the corner. But, Cena hits a bulldog and a big boot. Wyatt answers with a right hand. He puts Cena down with another. Wyatt hits a back elbow and runs Cena over in the corner. Bray dances with Cena, but John is playing possum and gets a couple of shoulderblocks and fist drop. Bray reverses the AA and hits a stomach breaker. Bray misses a senton splash, but hits a uranage. Cena answers the call at seven. Cena fights out of Sister Abigail, but gets run over. They fight on the apron, where Bray takes him down with a clubbing blow. They battle to the top, where Cena knocks Bray off and hits the legdrop to the back of his head. Cena goes for the AA, but Wyatt reverses with a Sister Abigail.
Cena gets up at the count of nine. John hits a wobbly AA, but fights back to his feet. Bray gets up with the spider walk and the tag teams enter the fun. Harper gets alone with Cena, but dives the outside. Jey comes off the top onto the parties on the outside, knocking them all out of the match for the time being. Back inside, Bray starts to wear Cena out with a chair. Cena rolls out of the ring and rolls back to his feet at seven. Cena dodges a chair strike and nails Bray in the back with it, but hesitates like it disobeys his code or something. YOU BURIED WADE BARRETT UNDER 100 CHAIRS!
Bray gets up at seven as Cena grabs some tables. He sets it up in the middle of the ring. Bray jumps him, but Cena goes for the AA. Wyatt counters and suplexes Cena through the table. John gets up at eight, and steel steps enter the ring. Bray stands atop them and directs the fans who sing for him. Wyatt lays Cena over the steps and grabs a chair. Cena moves and Wyatt winds up eating those stairs. Cena launches the stairs from the ring and into Bray’s face. That was brutal, and Cena is a pretty strong guy. Bray is up again at eight.
Bray somehow hits Sister Abigail on the floor. They missed the camera shot. Cena still gets up from that. Wyatt goes into the post and over the stairs and it’s evident that the stairs opened up a cut on elbow. Cena gets backdropped awkwardly on the remaining steps. Bray follows with a running senton off of the stairs. Cena coughs up a lung on the way back to his feet. Bray slugs away, but Cena hits an AA out of nowhere. Cena goes back into the ring, but is beaten up by Harper and Rowan. They then go outside and help Wyatt to his feet. Harper hits a big boot and they head outside. The Usos pop in for some dives, but they take a table to the head. Bray Wyatt is sitting down, but the referee isn’t counting while this mayhem goes on outside. Ugh. The table makes light of this and yell at the referee, before they quickly change gears and chalk it up to human error. I guess that Vince is super pissed that they pointed out a discrepancy.
Three tables are set up near ringside. It’s hard to follow, as there are so much overbooked stuff going on. Jimmy puts Rowan through a table with a hip smash. Harper does an OMG! finisher from a video game with superplex to the floor through a small field of tables. Oh, we’re back to Cena and Wyatt. Bray tackles John Cena through the wall and into the timekeeper. They battle out into the crowd. Cena is tossed into a pyrotechnics area and a random shot goes off. On top of a crate, Cena hits an AA through another crate and then drops another crate on top. Cena stands on top and wins this match. Afterwards, Cena even has time to hawk his merchandise. But hey, he helps The Usos to the back.
Final Thoughts: I don’t know how to rate this. It was good, but felt superfluous and should have just been a six-man LMS match…which would have been interesting to see how much Cena would sacrifice himself for his partners and the same for Bray. ***1/2. This was good, but also felt like a video game match with a bit of hokey ending. Maybe I’m just grumpy. I give the guys credit for killing themselves, though.
Diva’s Title – Alicia Fox vs. Paige ©
Why is Paige smiling so much on the way to the ring? Paige gets an armdrag off of the lockup, but is tossed out of the ring. Paige comes back in with a backbreaker and hits some knees on the apron. Paige brings her back in with a suplex and floats over for the cover. Paige throws some back elbows in the corner, and Alicia runs outside. Fox trips Paige up on the apron and gets in some antics. Is there a count going on? Paige puts Fox into the barricade but gets thrown from the steps and to the floor. Back inside, Fox goes for the cover. Alicia puts Paige’s face into the mat and then hit a Northern Lights for two.
Alicia puts on a straitjacket and the referee neglects to count her shoulders being down. JBL is pissed off about this. Alicia hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and holds onto it. She repeats with another backbreaker for two. Then, Alicia dumps Paige from the ring and brings her back in. Paige comes back with a running knee and a couple of clotheslines. Fox gets a knee up in the corner, but gets pulled off of the top. Paige locks on the PTO for the win. After the match, Fox freaks out again, but not with the same theatrics.
Final Thoughts: *3/4. This was fine, really. In certain places, it seemed to be a side show for Alicia’s post match antics.
No Holds Barred Elimination Match – Evolution vs. The Shield
This is going to be busy. They all pair off to begin. Reigns and Batista go out into the crowd, as do Orton and Ambrose. Rollins hits HHH with an enzuigiri and they go outside. They also go into the crowd, with Rollins vaulting down onto him. Orton goes off the announce table. Rollins backdrops HHH back over to the ringside area. Orton drops Ambrose on the barricade. Batista nails the steel steps. A regular match breaks out, with Rollins coming in on Batista as everyone gets to their corners. Rollins stomps away in the corner, but goes into the opposite corner hard with a whip. Orton is in, but takes a dropkick. Ambrose tags in, and they hit a double suplex and elbow drops. Dean gets some kicks to the gut and hits a clothesline.
Reigns is in with a headbutt. I’m not sure tags are important, here. Batista comes in and gets clotheslined by Reigns. Dean returns and clubs away at Big Dave. Batista catches Ambrose and hits a spinebuster. HHH enters, but Dean escapes him and brings in Reigns. They have a stare down to gauge some heat. It’s not that strong. Reigns hits a shoulderblock. Roman gets a backdrop and a clothesline. Dean returns and clubs away. Rollins comes in with a corner splash and wakes up the crowd with Three Amigos. That gets two. Ambrose reenters and slugs away. Dean gets two after rolling into the corner. Ambrose comes off the top, but eats a boot.
Batista grabs Dean and puts him into the barricade and stomps him on the apron. HHH gets in some shots with the referee’s back turned…which makes no sense. Batista uses the guillotine. Orton comes in with well-placed stomps. Dean fights back, but is driven back into the mat. Orton stomps at his gut, returning the favor. Their Twitter plugs finally peak, as “Bluetista” is trending to go along with Dave’s ring gear. HHH uses some DOUGE DOUGE DOUGE punches on Dean and drives some knees for two. HHH sees the crowd dying and gets reversed on and tossed over the top rope.
HHH cuts off the hot tag and hits the facebuster. Ambrose rebounds from the ropes and hits his face in peril clothesline to a nice pop. Reigns enters and goes at Reigns. Reigns hits a backdrop on HHH and runs outside to kick Dave in the head. Everyone else is flattened and Batista takes a Superman punch that gets two. It all breaks down again, with brawling on the outside. Rollins and HHH brawl amongst some crates. Rollins leaps, but takes a heavy piece of metal to the head. It’s not a chair, so it’s cool with corporate. Reigns tears apart the Spanish announce table, but Orton beats him down. HHH joins and they finish clearing the table. Oh, and the Mountain Dew leaves the primary table.
Evolution look for the triple powerbomb, and hit Reigns with it through the table. Officials run out to check on Reigns and keep Evolution at bay during this No DQ match. Evolution stand around for a while and don’t just roll him in and pin him. Ambrose flies in out of nowhere onto all of them. Orton and HHH have Rollins jump out on them, but don’t break his fall. They brawl up the aisle, with Evolution in control. The latter stages of this match have become quite obvious. HHH dishes out some chair shots. Orton opens a chair and drop Ambrose on it. HHH gives Seth a Pedigree on the steel chair.
Evolution stalk Reigns, who is left alone in the ring. Roman takes a spinebuster from Batista. The serious voices come out as Evolution tear Roman’s shirt off. They put Roman over the steel steps and nail him with kendo sticks across his bare back. They all take turns. That was pretty brutal. Reigns hits a Superman punch on Orton, but quickly takes an assortment of weapon shots. They beat him up the aisle, as well. Ambrose crouches behind the set and pounces on them…before taking the hangman’s DDT off of the set. It’s about three feet high, I’d guess. Seth Rollins comes out of nowhere from atop the tron, and leaps off and onto Evolution! Rollins takes a long, painful crawl back to the ring. Batista joins him in the ring, and catches him with a spear after Rollins leaps off of the top. Batistabomb is fought out of, and Reigns hits a spear on Batista to get rid of him. Quickly thereafter, Reigns saves Rollins from pinfall from an RKO. Orton goes for the hangman’s DDT, but Ambrose pops in with a chairshot and dispatches him with Dirty Deeds.
HHH comes back on Ambrose with a low blow. Reigns hits a Superman punch, but then takes a spear from the departing Batista. Orton, before he leaves, feeds HHH the sledgehammer. Ambrose is knocked out with the sledgehammer, but HHH, staggering, can’t defend himself from a flying knee from Rollins. This lets Reigns hit the spear for the win and clean sweep of Evolution.
Final Thoughts: ***3/4. In the last couple of minutes, I have come around on the story of the match, where Evolution is just wanting to inflict punishment and not looking to win the match. The finish of The Shield just coming together and rolling the evil, over the hill Evolution was just fine. In fact, the final moments with HHH clutching the sledgehammer with no real shot at victory was a good way to illustrate this harsh truth that he’s an old lion. The match was hampered by them actually spending five minutes to act like tagging partners was an important thing to do.
–This was a solid show with a few good matches. I may not love the insanity of Cena/Wyatt and Cena being so hesitant about using a steel chair, but I sure was entertaining. I think that since Bryan didn’t hand over the belt tonight, they’ll move into an angle where someone has to defend the title for him since it will be a month since it had been defended. But, there’s work to be done, as a large section of the show certainly felt like filler.
