Matthew Przybysz
Hello everyone and welcome back to GADD! I’ve come back home from my latest assignment JUST in time for E3, I literally got home around 9 PM last night, so I decided why not do an article every press conference going on today, and the fake press conference by Nintendo tomorrow? Next up is EA, and I’m not really sure what to expect from them. Clearly we’ll get something from Battlefield: Hardline and the EA Sports games. Will Mirror’s Edge be shown? Is Mirror’s Edge even still being worked on after how completely fucked Battlefield 4 is/was? I imagine they’ll talk more about Dragon Age Inquisition, but other than that, I don’t know. Let’s start off by simply discussing every game shown in the conference, and my personal level of interest in them
SO DAMN HYPE I WANT NOW:
Well this is embarrassing…….
Need more information first:
Dragon Age Inquisition – Yep, it was just in the HAVE NO FUCKS category at the XBox conference, but it’s already moved up a slot. They showed an actual gameplay trailer, and while it was still actiony looking, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. However, what really moved it up into the “need more information” category was ONE screenshot they showed of the tactical mode, where you’ll be able to play it overhead and make it basically a turn based RPG. Definitely more interested now.
Unnamed Criterion Game – This was a press conference full of awful developer diaries and not enough gameplay being shown, and this is the best of them. Originally when they hyped a Criterion game they wouldn’t be able to keep secret, I instantly got hyped for a new Burnout, only to be let down by something that is very obviously not Burnout. Instead it’s a multi vehicle driving game with jet skis, ATVs, helicopters and likely more. The one big detractor from what they showed, however, is the fact that the entire game is in first person. First person driving is the WORST, only mentally damaged people prefer cockpit mode.
Sims 4 – I don’t know why, but I always wind up falling for the Sims games. It normally only happens for a week or two at a time though. However, this one doesn’t appear to be *too* different from Sims 3, even though they’re claiming the Sims have more emotional complexity than in previous games. I’m semi-interested, but I’m also worried they’re going to turn it into a micro-transaction hell.
EA Sports UFC – I really don’t know how to feel about this game. For one thing the constant non-stop Bruce Lee promotion is just annoying. How about actual UFC guys? I really liked the UFC games on the PS2/360, but the generic EA MMA game I couldn’t wrap my head around it’s control style.
HAVE NO FUCKS TO GIVE:
Once again, these games aren’t ones that I’m 100% writing off, but the E3 coverage was awful and did nothing to sell me on them.
Star Wars Battlefront – I love how every time someone works on a star wars game they have to act like they fucking LOVE Star Wars. I’d just once love to see someone say “nah we think Star Wars is overrated bullshit, but you fuckers will buy it anyways cause it says Star Wars.” The showed almost no gameplay, likely due to the fact that there is none yet, and instead was the first of many developer diary videos just focusing on them taking photos of where Star Wars was filmed. HOW EXCITING!
Unnamed Mass Effect – Mass Effect is another series that I’ve always wanted to get into, but never did for some reason or another. Then I heard about the ending for Mass Effect 3 and how it renders all of your choices up to that point completely worthless, and I lost a lot of my desire to try and get into it. Plus this was just another developer diary video where they attempt to promise the world despite likely having done next to no work on the game so far.
NHL 15 – The trailer was pretty, and I think I’ll likely get this game, simply because it’s probably been around 5 years since I seriously played an NHL game, but it didn’t actually do anything to inform you about the gameplay.
EA Sports PGA Tour 15 – Well it’s a golf game, it’s golfy golf. However, the crazy fantasy courses they showed looked interesting. Just not interesting enough.
Madden 15 – Defense is the new thing they’re hyping this year, with the camera being focused behind your defended. Yeah, that never worked before, I don’t know why they think it’s going to work now. Trying to go back into coverage and being unable to see the receiver behind you? Fuck that. I always say I’m going to skip Madden, but I still end up getting it more often than not.
Dawngate – MOBA. NEXT!
Mirror’s Edge 2 – just a “HEY WE’RE STILL MAKING THIS YOU GUYS” production video with a bunch of concept videos.
FIFA 15 – “The World Cup is going on this year. You Americans care now, right?” Everything they showed looked really well done, but I just can’t make myself care about a soccer game. Sorry EA, I’m sure you’ll be just fine with the millions and millions you sell worldwide.
Battlefield: Hardline – Generic FPS. NEXT! Oh wait, there is no next because the spent FOR FUCKING EVER on this boring ass game. For those who care, the multiplayer beta is now live on both PS4 and PC. Go….somewhere to sign up. I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention.
After Microsoft surprised me with how impressive their press conference was, EA managed to surprise me with just how awful and boring theirs was. Fucking hell, almost half the games didn’t have any gameplay footage whatsoever and are likely not even close to being ready to show. However, if you’re an EA fan, 2016 will be awesome? I guess? Ubisoft is up next, and I don’t even know what the hell to expect from them, but hopefully it’ll be better than this horrible excuse for a show.
