Peter Kostka
Taped at Full Sail University. Your commentators are Rich Brennan, Alex Riley and Jason Albert (AKA the shitty announce team).
Jason Jordan & Tye Dillinger vs. Enzo Amore & BIG CASS (1st Round #1 Contender Tournament Match)
Amore and Cassidy get a BIG pop and the crowd yells along with Amore’s speech Road Dogg style. “We’re stars, and we take meteor showers” is a great line I must admit. I can understand why the crowd loves them. Jordan tries to take Cass down, but that works about as well as you expect and Cass works him over. He wants to get SAWFT, but Dillinger distracts him allowing Jordan to take over. Cass becomes the face in peril which kind of seems weird to me since he’s the bigger guy and Enzo seems like he could sell a beating pretty well. Jordan and Dillinger are showing good aggression, but other than that there isn’t much to them. Cass blocks a boot and makes the hot tag, but Dillinger cuts off the rally with GUSTO, drilling Enzo with a superkick. Damn that looked good. NOW we get a good face in peril as the crowd chants for Enzo. Jordan charges to the corner, but Cass takes the bullet and then boots Jordan in the face with Enzo falling on top of him for the pin.
Thoughts: Fun little match where Jordan and Dillinger showcased their aggressiveness and athleticism and the right team went over. Cassidy still needs to get better in the ring and being in this team should really help him because Enzo is a good partner.
We get the brackets for the tournament. Renee Young talks to Sami Zayn. He has a tag partner for this tournament, but he isn’t medically cleared. This brings over #DirtbagTysonKidd and Justin Gabriel to taunt him about it since they will be facing him later. Fortunately for Sami, the Rosebuds literally carry him over a tag partner, Adam Rose. Ok, I can get with this. Rose offers Sami his lollipop and, after Renee gives her approval, accepts it.
CJ Parker vs. Xavier Woods
CJ has a sign that reads “Stop Frilkin Fracking”(?). Blah blah environment blah blah warming just get to being a shitty wrestler already. Man, neither of these guys get much of a reaction. Punch/chop offense to start and Woods clotheslines Parker to the floor. He hits the post on a charge and that leads to a commercial break.
Parker in control as we return and the crowd is as bored as I am. Parker hits a senton for 2 and the crowd starts the Wave. Parker back to the hold as I spin my mouse cursor around the screen to keep awake. Another senton hits Woods’ knees and Woods makes the comeback, including a nice running Flatliner which gets applause from the crowd. Honor Roll clothesline gets 2. Woods goes up, ropewalks a bit and hits a splash with Parker about 3/4ths across the ring. It only gets 2. Fuck you. Parker necks him on the ropes and hits a shitty looking Death Valley Driver for the pin. Fuck you.
Thoughts: I’m guessing someone in WWE hates environmentalists and that’s why CJ Parker still has a job. He’s just awful in the ring and even the NXT crowd is sick of his shit. They still cheer Mojo Rawley for fuck’s sake!
Tyler Breeze comes on the Tron and finally lays down the challenge to Adrian Neville and vows to give his #WannaBreeze followers a gorgeous champion.
Bayley! vs. Eva Marie
It takes about .5 seconds for the “You can’t wrestle” chants to come at Eva. I thought it would be sooner. Geez, budget cuts (or Eva Marie) are so bad they need to fly down Mike Chioda to ref this thing. Oh my god Eva is so horrible in the ring. I can’t look away. The commentators have the temerity to state that “Eva is improving every week”. I can only stretch my suspension of disbelief so far, guys. The crowd chants “Worse than Batista”. Ouch. Oh my god her selling. Bayley hits the Bayley to Belly to end it. Thank you Bayley indeed.
Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel vs. Sami Zayn and Adam Rose (1st round #1 Contenders Tournament Match)
Zayn controls Kidd with armdrags and Rose tags in to swat him in the ass. The heels bail to the outside so Rose just comes out and swats Gabriel too. Kidd kicks him to end the foolishness and Gabriel takes over in the ring. The Dirtbags be all dirtbaggy on Rose as we take a break.
The dirtbag…ocity continues as we return and the match has kind of ground to a halt. Considering who is in there this is kinda disappointing. Rose gets his knees up on Kidd’s springboard elbow and it’s hot tag Zayn. He tosses the heels and sweeps up the Dirtbags with a dive to the floor. Rose goes up and adds one of his own for good measure. Zayn hits Gabriel with the Heluva Kick for the win. Sami joins the Rosebuds for the victory party as we fade out.
Thoughts: Got fun at the end, but really nothing to write about. I kind of wish A) Sami got a better partner, though they do at least mesh together well gimmick wise and B) This wasn’t a first round match and they got a bit more time to actually build a match because Kidd and Gabriel are such a great shit-heel tag team right now.
Final Thoughts: A pretty missable show this week. Unless you have never seen an Eva Marie match before and want to know what Jenna Morasca would have looked like in WWE, that is.
