Jonathan Dehn
It’s NBA season, and that means plenty of internet discussions about your favorite players. But, sometimes you struggle to actually spell out those players’ names without looking like an idiot and pausing before finally settling on typing out “The Greek Freak”. Culture Crossfire has you covered, and is providing the hoops fans with a cheat sheet for hard to spell player names. Just look at the big brain on you, now!
Emerging Young Talent Familiar to Conversation
Jonas Valanciunas – Center, Toronto Drakes
Before learning to spell his last name, I referred to him as “Mr. V” in fantasy trade-talk. A young scoring machine in the post, big Jonas is emerging and blossoming for the Toronto Raptors as they look to build on their strong campaign from last season. He’s most commonly talked about in discussions where someone watches a Raptors game and questions why Dwane Casey (Don’t tell me I have to do a coach’s version of this.) doesn’t give him more minutes.
Giannis Antetokounmpo – Power Forward/Small Forward/Shooting Guard/Point Guard/Point Forward/Stretch Four/Dragon, Milwaukee Bucks
Antetokounmpo is one of the most entertaining players in the league in that he is still so raw, but has so much potential. He also runs and moves on the court like a baby dragon, perhaps not grasping the power with which he will learn to play the game with as he grows. Jason Kidd, and no one in the state of Wisconsin, entirely knows which position he should play, or what he should specialize in. Still, he’ll be in the league for a long time, so it’s best to just buckle down and write his name fifty times on a piece of paper.
Matthew Dellavedova – Point Guard, Cleveland Cavaliers
The young guard has been lauded for his defensive abilities by those he has encountered in the league so far, and has already replaced Dion Waiters during crunch time. It’s wise to say that, in time, he’ll become one of LeBron James’ favorite teammates. So let’s get this name right before we start channeling our lazy, inner Chris Berman and call him “Matthew Bell Biv DeVoea”.
Gorgui Dieng – Center, Minnesota Timberwolves
Nikola Pekovic’s backup, Dieng garnered attention at the end of last season after getting some stable minutes in Pekovic’s absence. His production showed that he would be able to handle the load if Nikola were to be injured this season, which is likely to happen to the big guy. He’s sure to be a hot property in fantasy leagues at some point this season.
Nik Stauskas – Shooting Guard, Sacramento Kings
Among the baffling personnel decisions made by the ever-meddling new owner of the Sacramento Kings, Vivek Ranadive, was drafting his man-crush Nik Stauskas instead of a point guard like Elfrid Payton when letting Isaiah Thomas head for greener pastures. This man loves Stauskas, but remember when spelling the name that it doesn’t sound like “kiss” in the latter stages. Nik Stauskas will certainly be the designated cherry picker in Vivek’s 4-on-5 scheme coming to a NBADL game near you!
The Three Nikola
Nikola Pekovic – Center, Minnesota Timberwolves
Nikola Vucevic – Center, Orlando Magic
Nikola Mirotic – Power Forward, Chicago Bulls
According to Pekovic, the first name of Nikola is not a name as common as Mike in Montenegro. It’s actually quite the uncommon name and it’s just happenstance that have three players named Nikola in the NBA at the same time.
Five Player Names You Should Be Able to Spell By Now
Dirk Nowitzki
Serge Ibaka
Joel Embiid
Anderson Varejao
Manu Ginobili
These are prominent players for a very long time now. Joel Embiid’s name has been in your face for quite a while and he owns Twitter, I’ve heard. If you still have trouble in spelling out Dirk’s name, you may have to look in the mirror and not consider yourself a hoops fan any longer. Log on to the Joel Embiid owner Twitter and apologize to Dirk. Before you attempt to argue, he won an MVP and is going to score 30,000 points.
And now…the official Cheat Sheet, sorted by teams, alphabetically.
NBA Player Name Cheat Sheet
Atlanta Hawks
Pero Antic
Dennis Schroder
Thabo Sefolosha
Boston Celtics
Kelly Olynyk
Vitor Faverani
Brooklyn Nets
Bojan Bogdanovic
Mirza Teletovic
Charlotte Hornets
Bismack Biyombo
Noah Vonleh
Chicago Bulls
Nikola Mirotic
Cleveland Cavaliers
Matthew Dellavedova
Dallas Mavericks
Al-Farouq Aminu
Gal Mekel
Denver Nuggets
Timofey Mozgov
Jusuf Nurkic
Detroit Pistons
Jonas Jerebko
Luigi Datome
Golden State Warriors
Festus Ezeli
Ognjen Kuzmic
Nemanja Nedovic
Houston Rockets
Donatas Motiejunas
Kostas Papanikolaou
Indiana Pacers
Ian Mahinmi
Damjan Rudez
Los Angeles Clippers
Hedo Turkoglu
Memphis Grizzlies
Kosta Koufos
Nick Calathes
Milwaukee Bucks
Giannis Antetokounmpo
Ersan Ilyasova
Zaza Pachulia
Minnesota Timberwolves
Gorgui Dieng
Nikola Pekovic
New Orleans Pelicans
Omer Asik
Alexis Ajinca
New York Knicks
Pablo Prigioni
Orlando Magic
Nikola Vucevic
Philadelphia 76ers
Luc Mbah a Moute
Alexey Shved
Sacramento Kings
Omri Casspi
Nik Stauskas
Toronto Raptors
Jonas Valanciunas
Lucas Noqueira
Greg Stiemsma
Utah Jazz
Dante Exum
Enes Kanter
Washington Wizards
Marcin Gortat
Nene Hilario
And now, for fun, let’s remember some of the names that we worked hard to learn in the past but now might need to refresher course in.
Retired NBA Player Name Cheat Sheet
Dikembe Mutombo
Sarunas Marciulionis
Arvydas Sabonis
Kiki Vandeweghe
Hakeem Olajuwon
Zydrunas Ilgauskas
Andrea Bargnani
