Sage Cortez
Time for another NBC special! Saturday Night’s Main Event rarely airs without a Hulk Hogan match, but that’s what’s going to happen here. I have seen this before, and have reviewed it before…but I lost the review. I know fully what to expect and don’t remember the show being any good. Haven’t watched it in five or six years though! To the action!
– Taped to air November 26th, 1988, from Arco Arena in Sacramento, California
We start off with the usual introduction, but for once we have the ULTIMATE WARRIOR on SNME! He’s facing some dork called Super Ninja. Andre the Giant is going to get his title belt back! The Macho Man is gonna stop that! Virgil is going to bring Hercules back home on behalf of Ted DiBiase. Hulk Hogan is there for something!
Our announcers tonight are Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura, who wants top billing. Not getting it here, pal.
Super Ninja (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. The Ultimate Warrior for the WWF Intercontinental Championship
Pre-Match Thoughts: Alright, I’m going to let loose on this. This is dumb as fuck. It’s also extremely absurd and bordering on racist. The Asian guy has to manage a white guy who’s wearing a mask and calling himself a ninja? This guy we’ve never seen before earned a title shot? Why? Fuji is interviewed on this guy’s behalf, and he brings up Pearl Harbor. What the fuck…whoever came up with this is an absolute idiot. The Ultimate Warrior is interviewed, and this is great. It always is! The scripting that Okerlund is forced to read is brutal, it must be stated.
Match Review: Warrior rushes the ring, and we’re ready for action. He no-sells the Ninja’s chops, and throws him on his head. He gives the poor sap a big boot, and follows the Ninja to the outside so he can gorilla press him back into the ring. Warrior gives Ninja a back elbow, and a clothesline as well. Warrior picks him up for the big press slam, and drops him like a sack of shit. Big splash follows, and that’s all at 2:11.
My Thoughts: This was idiotic. Both for what I already stated and because Warrior should have faced a name wrestler in his first match on NBC. I don’t get the logic here at all. It’s a squash match, but at the same time, it’s a title match on NBC. DUD. Absolutely crappy, all of it. You could hardly even call it wrestling. Speaking of which, they weren’t really calling it wrestling even then, were they?
Virgil (w/Ted DiBiase) vs. Hercules
Pre-Match Thoughts: Before the interviews, the video of Ted DiBiase buying Hercules as his slave is aired. This never stops being funny to me. You do jobs for years and years, YOU’VE EARNED THAT SLAVE SPOT. DiBiase claims that his lawyers are in his corner, and that Hercules is his slave. DiBiase won’t touch a slave, so he’s going to have somebody like Virgil do it. Okay. That’s not funny at all. I was going to say it was good heat building for DiBiase to have somebody else do his dirty work, but that’s just not cool. Hercules is interviewed as well, and he says that he wears his chain freely. HAHA.
Match Review: Hercules gets compared to Kunta Kinte…ARE YOU KIDDING ME? DISGUSTING. The crowd was pretty amped up for Herc’s entrance, as the match begins after a commercial. DiBiase and Virgil attack Hercules from behind, but Hercules clotheslines them both and knocks DiBiase out of the ring. Virgil gets backdropped, and clotheslined over the top by the big man. Hercules decides to chase DiBiase around the ring, and back inside, he backdrops Virgil again. Hercules lands a back elbow, then drops one too. DiBiase gets on the apron, which provides a distraction for Virgil to do absolutely nothing. Hercules gives Virgil a knee lift, and a clothesline too. After another one, Virgil pokes him in the eye. Hercules comes back with another clothesline, like we needed to see that move again. He picks Virgil up, and drops him with a running powerslam for 3 at 3:20.
Hercules picks Virgil up, and throws him on DiBiase after the pin. That was neat. DiBiase talks shit to Virgil all the way to the back, and we’re on to the next thing.
My Thoughts: It’s weird to see this sort of foreshadowing about a Virgil face turn when it didn’t happen for over 2 more years. A bit crazy, really. I don’t think there was any sort of clamoring to see Virgil turn on his boss, so it was for the best that they didn’t make the turn. The match was completely meaningless, but the crowd thoroughly enjoyed DiBiase getting beaten up while running interference. Wasn’t a good match, but I have to give some credit for that. It was a decent way to keep this feud going. *1/4.
Andre the Giant (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth) for the WWF Championship
Pre-Match Thoughts: This is the first time Savage has defended the title on NBC or PPV since April. That simply should not happen. Before the match, they air the video of Andre being afraid of Jake’s snake. Now, another problem I have…they have no such video of Savage doing anything like this. That being the case, this match is more about the challenger’s feud with somebody else. That’s inexcusable to me. Andre threatens to choke Okerlund for talking about his fear of snakes, and Heenan does his best with the material he’s been given to work with on the cue cards. Macho is interviewed as well, and he does a good one. Hard to do that when reading off cue cards. It was interesting how he said if Hogan can beat Andre, he can too. Jealousy seeping in?
Match Review: Savage tries to attack Andre to start the match, and hits him with everything he has. Andre knocks him down and drives him back to the corner, where he squashes him. Savage comes back by kneeing him in the back, but gets caught in a front face-lock. He wraps his strap around Macho’s neck, making it look like a chinlock. Savage breaks free and shoves Andre to the corner, but Andre holds him down with his forearm. After a headbutt, Andre puts a choke on the champion. After more squeezing, Savage replies with a jawbreaker and goes to work. Andre traps him in the corner again, as the story of this match is now obvious. It’s Savage trying to fell the big man. He rams Andre into the buckle, and clobbers him with a double axehandle from the second rope. Huge pop for that, and now Jake Roberts is at ringside! Roberts puts his snake under the ring, and Andre spots Jake. Of course, he’s scared, but it looks like Jake doesn’t even have the reptile anymore. Macho asks Jake to leave so he isn’t disqualified, and they have a strategy session before the commercial. Interesting!
Before we get back to the match, it appears that a Hogan promo was put in the broadcast. Smart idea to hook the viewer. Andre keeps asking Heenan to find the snake, which he cannot do. Savage attacks Andre from behind, but gets crushed by an overhand chop. The dynamic of the match has changed a lot and I don’t know if I like it. Savage hits him with a big running charge, but Andre comes back with a headbutt. Andre sits on him, but Savage isn’t hurt too bad. He heads to the outside to move Heenan away from Elizabeth, which didn’t work out too well. Andre chops him back in from the apron, as Heenan’s finally found the snake bag! Andre says to get rid of it, but here’s Jake Roberts once again! The bell rings at 8:51, as Heenan runs into the ring and gets clobbered by Savage. Savage throws Heenan into Andre, and Andre has been tied up in the ropes. Heenan gets thrown over the top, and a bleeding Andre is at Savage’s mercy. Savage invites Roberts into the ring, and the SNAKE IS OUT. Jake turns to walk it over there, but Andre’s out of the ropes and on the floor. Savage and Roberts shake hands, which is a neat touch although it doesn’t make a lot of sense. The match was ruled a double DQ.
My Thoughts: This was a neat little match. I don’t really like how the finish made Savage look, as he should have won in some sort of fashion. Whether that be Andre giving up on the match and leaving, or something else that made Savage look strong. Savage didn’t accomplish his goal of beating Andre, which takes a little shine off him. This is probably the best effort and performance that Andre was able to put out for some time. I’m disappointed with how Savage’s title reign as gone, because they didn’t maximize the potential it had. I’ll give this **1/4. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and thought the two participants did a really good job. Looking at the lineup, I have no question that this will have been the best bout on the show. The Jake/Andre feud is a guilty pleasure, as Andre was allowed to do a great acting job.
Boris Zhukov vs. HACKSAW Jim Duggan in a FLAG MATCH
Pre-Match Thoughts: This is the shitty kind of flag match, where the winner has their anthem played in the arena. They don’t have to try to pull it down from a pole. While this is the shitty version, I wouldn’t want to see these guys trying to climb up anything. They also wouldn’t have the proper time allotted to have a decent match. Duggan is now sporting that patriot gimmick, so his descent into a comedy guy is underway. Bad cue card reading in this promo, to the point of complete annoyance. Slick is no longer with the Bolsheviks, it appears. They did this match a few years previous with Hogan and Nikolai Volkoff, and subsequently Corporal Kirchner and Volkoff. Did we really need to see it again?
Match Review: Duggan chased Zhukov out of the ring with his 2×4, but we started the match shortly after that. Duggan and Zhukov trade punches, and Duggan gives him an atomic drop. After a clothesline, Duggan goes for a backdrop and gets kneed in the face. Zhukov drops an elbow, and Duggan misses an elbow drop of his own after more punches. Duggan is able to clothesline his opponent, and gives him a bodyslam as well. Three point stance time, and Duggan hits Zhukov with a huge clothesline for 3 at 2:27. They do the bit with the flag being showcased at the end and…that’s just stupid.
My Thoughts: This was terrible, and the less said the better. I thought I was watching Saturday Night’s Main Event, not Superstars. Squash matches like this shouldn’t be happening. 1/4* for the clothesline at the end.
It’s time for a Brother Love Show! Last time I saw one of those, the Big Boss Man destroyed Hulk Hogan. BEATEN DOWN LIKE A PRISONER, BOY. Brother Love’s guest is Slick! We pan quickly to the back and Hulk Hogan is super pissed. He was supposed to be the guest! He comes out shortly after that, and I guess Brother Love has two guests now. This segment is really weird as these interviews with wrestlers in the ring disappeared after Piper’s Pit at MSG. Now they’re back! Sadly, they became so much more prominent in the future, with the McMahon’s droning on for 20 minutes at a time. Hogan is against both of these clowns, and he says he might tie Slick up and give him some punishment. Uh…then he calls Slick “boy” to a huge cheer. I’m surprised this wasn’t the best thing on the show given the garbage I’ve had to watch, but it wasn’t at all. Hogan throws Slick over the top, and Love tries to hit Hogan with his microphone. Bad idea. Hogan picks him up, and slams him to the delight of the crowd. Hogan also has handcuffs, and he handcuffs Love to the top rope. He then clotheslines him, sending him over the top in a ridiculously stupid bump to take.
The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. The Young Stallions
Pre-Match Thoughts: Wow, the Stallions made two showcase matches in one week! Jimmy Hart announces that the Rougeaus have moved to the US! The scripting…just holy shit. This is one of the worst promos I’ve ever seen. It’s unbelievable what has been done to this show. Not that it was a great lineup, but they’ve butchered it beyond belief. At least we got this music out of their move to the USA!
Match Review: Powers and Jacques get this going, with Jacques giving Powers a great dropkick. Powers hits Jacques with some punches in the corner, until Hart hits Powers in the leg with his megaphone. The Rougeau’s do their abdominal stretch to savate kick combo, and a double team stomach breaker. Jacques gives Powers a flying back elbow, it gets 2. Jacques misses a springboard cross body attempt (hence attempt), and both guys tag out. Roma gives Jacques a powerslam anyway, and a flying fist drop from the second rope. After giving Raymond a clothesline, Roma goes up top for a great looking missile dropkick. Raymond sneaks in an eye poke, and Jacques comes off with the capper to La Bombe de Rougeau, which finishes the match after a pinfall at 3:05.
My Thoughts: This was basic stuff, with a few nice moves. Roma’s missile dropkick was picture perfect. As far as SNME closing matches go, this was just fine. *1/2.
In the back, we have Jesse Ventura with Andre the Giant! Really good promo with Andre grabbing a hold of Ventura. He wants Jake to FIGHT LIKE A MAN. I’d go so far as to call that a money promo.
After that one, Gene Mean talks to Jake Roberts. I’m scared of that snake, not gonna lie. IT’S HUGE. Couldn’t really pay attention to what he said.
Hogan’s promo is alright. Law themed! He calls out the Big Boss Man, and his day is coming. Really looking forward to watching some matches from that series. With that, we’re out!
This was a tough one to get through. I can’t believe that the WWF thought this was something acceptable for broadcast. Four squash matches, one decent title match. Feels like a total waste of time to have watched this again. A bad schedule also certainly played a part, perhaps it was difficult to put anything of value on this knowing that people just paid for a PPV. I don’t really know. What I do know, is that this was bad and that it’s hard to put words down about showcase matches. Lesson learned! Going to try to forget about this ASAP and move on. Next up is Clash 4, the first big show under the Turner banner. It features a main event of Ric Flair and Barry Windham squaring off with the Midnight Express. That could be absolutely amazing, really looking forward to it.
Wrestling Time: 19:54. Brutal, and it’s not like the Brother Love Show made up for it.
Best: Andre’s money promo on Roberts. There were two things of value here, both having Andre as a part of them. Star of the show.
Worst: Everything else. Four meaningless matches is a disgrace.
Card Rating: 2.5/10. Nothing here mattered, the matches were hokey schlock, and the majority of the interviews were horrendous. Certainly the worst card I have seen the WWF put on to this point. I will never watch this again and neither should you.
