While You Weren’t Watching for 4/27

The purpose of this column is to examine through opinion pieces, TV and PPV recaps and upcoming show previews what is happening in the world of TNA Impact Wrestling…which, let’s be honest, you probably didn’t watch this week.

Who Cares?

From their first show on, TNA’s roster has been made up of talent they’ve discovered working indys and talent that used to perform on a bigger stage (WWE, WCW). Those former “Superstars” have approached their time in TNA with varying degrees of effort and vastly different levels of success. Today we’re going to countdown whose time went best, and whose went worst. I didn’t put Jeff Jarrett on here since it was his company and weaving the tapestry of his work (good) and his mistakes in management (bad) would be a nightmare.

 

The Bottom 10

10. Mick Foley
It wasn’t for lack of effort. Foley came in genuinely trying to make a difference and have a good run in TNA. Foley’s was a case of the mind being strong but the flesh being weak. No matter how hard he worked he couldn’t escape a feeling of “that’s sad” permeating his matches. He had a decent title win against Sting and a couple fun matches with Kurt Angle and Ric Flair…but for the most part Foley’s time in TNA will best be remembered as the point where you realized that you really didn’t want to see another Foley match. A Last Man Standing match with Ric Flair in October 2010 is the last singles match Foley has ever worked (and according to him will ever work…yeah, I know) with an appearance in the 2012 Royal Rumble marking his last official wrestling match.

9. Mr. Anderson
There was actually a moment where it looked like Anderson was going to break through. He was briefly booked as a babyface who would talk smack to your face and not back down when you confronted him…and it was starting to get over. They sure tried with him too. He was pushed very hard after coming in but could never quite get over the hump. He did have easily the best match of his career with Kurt Angle at Lockdown 2010, and I’ve never gotten the impression that he hasn’t tried or cared. Anderson is just what most people assumed he is: An average performer. Lately he’s become lost in the shuffle and they’ve just thrown him into Aces and 8’s to give him something to do. To his credit he has scruffed himself up to make as good a fit as he can…but for the push he received…surely a disappointment.

8. Scott Hall
Scott Hall had FOUR runs in TNA. He screwed up every single one of them, of course. He went through the motions from the companies debut show until his last appearance in 2010. He would be higher (lower?) on this list if a past his prime Scott Hall going through the motions wasn’t still occasionally entertaining.

6 & 7. The New Age Outlaws
Road Dogg was an early TNA roster member (the promotion was run by his friend Jeff Jarrett after all) and Billy Gunn eventually landed there too. They had runs as singles, as a tag and as parts of larger groups (3 Live Kru, The Beautiful People). Almost none of it was interesting and a lot of the time it was simply annoying. They land on the list for having extended bad runs…but they worked hard enough.

5. Ken Shamrock
Shamrock didn’t have a long run in TNA (2 months). He was the first Champion of the TNA era and he worked as hard as you can for a guy whose sole purpose appeared to be not getting hurt. Between he and Hall (the two biggest stars on the first show, along with Jarrett) they set a low bar for the “has-beens” who followed.

4. Dustin Rhodes
Rhodes had two runs in TNA…never having one memorable or decent match. His most defining moment was working a hardcore tag match and deciding not to do a planned dive onto a table spot because…F that. Raven (his partner) pushed him aside and did it for him. A better metaphor for his time in TNA one could not find.

3. Brian Christopher
In the very first episodes of TNA’s weekly ppvs, Brian Christopher actually got a pretty sizable push. I don’t know if there has ever been someone in wrestling history who was more content to just do the same shtick over and over to the sound of increasingly shrinking pops than Brian Christopher was here, and if so certainly not by someone with less nostalgia to play off of than Brian Christopher. In a way it was a good thing for TNA as it was easy for the more unknown talent to stand out by comparison.

2. Booker T
While Brian Christopher was phoning it in, Booker T added not caring enough to even do that. While in the Main Event Mafia faction, Sting was doing the best promos of his career, Angle was on fire in the ring, Steiner was being maniacally entertaining, and even Kevin Nash was bringing the goods on the mic and in the ring with Joe. Meanwhile, Booker T was in a completely different world. He never looked like he wanted to be there, and at some point quickly after debuting, he stopped even trying to pretend that he did. The only thing that keeps him from the #1 spot as the ultimate disappointment is a fairly entertaining tag team he formed with Steiner at the end of his run, mostly because Steiner’s charisma was enough for the both of them.

Well…that and no one beats the man at #1 when it comes to being hilariously disappointing.

1. Matt Hardy
Oh Matt Hardy. He showed up fat and in dreadlocks and Tyler Reks trended on twitter. That was his only highlight. If you remember back to when he was released by WWE in 2005, there was actually a ton of positive buzz on Hardy going to TNA. He parlayed it all into another WWE run. By 2011 no one wanted to see Matt Hardy anywhere. How much of a disappointment was Matt Hardy in TNA? He was fired after getting a DWI…while his brother WAS SUSPENDED FOR ALMOST A YEAR FOR SHOWING UP PILLED OUT FOR A PPV FOLLOWING A DRUG ARREST, MULTIPLE MISSED SHOWS, BRIEF JAIL TIME AND CONSTANT RELAPSES. That is how you know you’re the black sheep of the family.

 

Missing the Cut(s)

Before we move on to the 10 best “Superstars” TNA has brought in…let’s take a quick look at people who missed the cut (and on the more positive side…missed the last list too).

RVD had an interesting run in TNA (which may not be over…he says he’ll either be back in TNA or in WWE sooner than later). He came in and put in good effort while getting pushed, but that tailed off in year 2. His third year he started to show more passion again. Not enough for top 10, but certainly not a bottom feeder either.

For as much as Ric Flair bashes TNA…he sure looked like he was having fun while he was there. In fact in his first year in the company he may have been the most entertaining thing week after week. He had some great work with Jay Lethal and as the head of Fortune. His match with Sting in October 2011 still stands as his last match of his legendary career.

Somewhat surprisingly, Kevin Nash put in some fine work in TNA. Always entertaining as a talker, Nash also turned in some inspired ring work on occasion (with Jarrett and Joe) and was never a liability.

Tara and Mickie James have chugged along having made the switch to TNA, certainly not taking it as beneath them after having good runs in WWE. On that same note Brooke Tessmacher came to TNA and flat out got better.

Konnan could have made the top 10 with his LAX manager time…but his actual ring work and 3 Live Kru time brought him down.

Chris Candido was having a career resurrection before he tragically died after complications from surgery following an injury at the first Lockdown ppv.

Brian Kendrick came in after a pretty decent run in WWE and while he spent the whole time bitching and getting stoned…he still put in some quality work.

Sean Waltman has been in and out, at times putting in high quality ring work (a match with Jerry Lynn in 2005 comes to mind) and at times embarrassing himself and getting fired.

DDP had a decent run in TNA that helped wash away the stink of that WWE run he had.

Devon has had a good long run in TNA and just missed the cut due to feeling like he hit his ceiling in the midcard. Still he works hard and got into tremendous shape for this last run.

And now…

 

The Top 10

10. Jeff Hardy
A year ago Jeff Hardy would have made the bottom 10 list. His first run in TNA was completely unmemorable, a tough feat for someone of Hardy’s stature. This second run didn’t get off to a much better start, aside from a brief inspired heel run. The suspension after showing up unable to compete in early 2011 should have been the end of Hardy’s TNA career. But it wasn’t. Some time, around the start of the Bound For Glory series last June, Jeff Hardy turned it ON. He started performing like the top end WWE performer he could be and not the “whatever it’s just a pay day” guy he was in TNA. I don’t know what changed for him but watch his match with Austin Aries at Bound For Glory…that’s the best of Jeff Hardy out there now.

9. Hulk Hogan
Maybe a controversial pick….but consider this: Hulk Hogan shows up more often for Impact and TNA ppvs than he did when making 7 figures in WCW. True he’s only worked 2 matches in his time (a tag with Abyss vs. Flair and Styles on Impact and a singles match with Sting at BFG 2011) but even in those he took bumps his doctors told him not to. He’s had good fire in his promos and aside from the goofiness of his initial babyface run with Abyss and the Hall of Fame ring…he’s been a surprisingly affective character. Of course things like being the only one who can take out Aces and 8’s is short sighted and silly…but hey…Hulk freaking Hogan standing in the ring telling everyone that Austin Aries is the best wrestler in the world as he contends for the TNA title…that’s not nothing.

8. Raven
Raven was the first guy that was in WWE while TNA existed who found his way to TNA. Of course he had to get fired to do it…but once he got there he had a great run. His feud with Jarrett gave them their first memorable “big” match and his finally achieving his Destiny and winning the TNA title at Slammiversary 2005 was a feel good moment.

7. Scott Steiner
Scott Steiner is the greatest wrestler in the world. Week after week he’d come out and cut a promo so convincing that you were SURE he was going to kill whoever his opponent was. Then they’d have the match, in which Steiner would sell the whole time and lose clean. And the next week when he cut the “I’m going to kill you” promo again…you totally thought he was going to kill that guy. Whether he was giving you the last he had in his body in the ring, or doing some great comedy promos as only Steiner can do…he had a hell of a run.

6. Christian
Christian was the first person to ever “jump” from WWE to TNA. He didn’t get fired, he chose to take the money he saved and try on the easier TNA schedule when his contract expired. For most of his 3 years, Christian Cage delivered good matches and good promos. While he never quite lived up to the superstar push they gave him…he had a quite enjoyable run.

5. Sting
I’m sure Sting thought he was only coming in for a short run. Instead he’s been a mainstay since 2006. Over that time he’s given everything his aging body has to give. He’s had the occasional very good match and, during his pseudo-heel run in the Main Event Mafia, cut the best promos of his career. His character change from Crow Sting to Joker Sting in 2011 started out better than it ended…but it was just another example of a guy willing to put in WORK in the twilight of his career. He even took a thumbtack bump once…what more can you ask for?

4. Ron “The Truth” Killings
Sure K-Kwik wasn’t much of a star in WWE…but Truth belongs high on this list for a very important reason: He was the anti Brian Christopher. While Christopher decided that his time on the big stage was likely over and milked it in TNA as long as he could, Killings decided he was going to show them that they were wrong. His character development into The Truth was TNA’s best non X-division related thing in Year One. After his interesting title win and run, TNA never pushed him to the level they should have again. But it didn’t matter to Killings…he was able to eventually turn it into another, better, longer run in WWE. More guys in his situation should work as hard.

3. Gail Kim
Twice. Gail Kim was the Knockouts division. She’s the person they created it for in fact. A match she had with Jackie Moore at Lockdown 2007 is what inspired them to add a women’s division. Her feud with Awesome Kong was THE best thing in TNA at the time. She had awesome matches and drew the highest ratings week in and week out. When she went back to WWE because they made her an offer she couldn’t refuse…she was barely used and spent her time missing TNA. When she finally got back she found the division wasn’t what it was in its heyday…but it hasn’t stopped her from busting ass and loving wrestling again.

2. Bully Ray
My column 2 weeks ago makes this pick obvious. He’s flat out done the best work of his long career over the last 2 years.

There’s only one man that can top Bully’s complete transformation…

1. Kurt Angle
And it’s not even close. Kurt Angle’s TNA career is littered with great matches by a guy determined to give you everything he has down to his last breath. Completely unselfish and seemingly immune to playing the politics that someone of his stature joining TNA could get away with, Angle is the go to guy for main event credibility. He hasn’t always been healthy (less and less as he goes on) but he’s always given 100%.

 

Impact Recap 4/25

Something is off about TNA lately. This was another pretty poor show, but unlike other recently pretty poor shows, this one didn’t seem to have a point.

Taryn Terell beat Tara doing the rookie getting surprise wins gimmick. Taryn is fine in the role.

They continue to have Rob Terry do matches in front of the obvious unresponsive crowds. This is going nowhere and makes for bad TV.

Chavo and Hernandez retained the tag titles against Austin Aries and Bobby Roode in their usual fine match.

Velvet Sky retained her title against Mickie James with a rollup while selling her knee injury. Someone thought it was a good idea to put Velvet in an 11 minute match…but it wasn’t that bad.

They did start making some sense out of Bad Influence courting AJ Styles. This week the duo approached Bobby Roode about reforming Fortune with them and AJ. Depending on if this goes anywhere…it could be intriguing given the talent involved.

Then we had the main event segment. Bully Ray called out Hulk Hogan, who taped up his fists for a fight. The crowd was REALLY into this. Bully Ray destroyed him on the mic and spit in his face. Hogan ripped off his shirt to the big pop and then…Sting returned and the two of them took out the entire Aces and 8’s. No…really. Well…Bully Ray bailed so he was saved the geriatric ass kickers. It’s not a good thing that they were able to fight off the whole gang when the point of the segment was that no one else in the company has been able to. That said…Bully came off great here (before running away).

 

Impact Preview 5/2

This show was already taped so this is a spoiler free look at the lineup.

Chris Sabin returns to the ring in a 3 way against Zema Ion and Sonjay Dutt.

Rob Terry (ugh…every week?) in a handicap match against Robbie E, Joey Ryan and Jesse Godderz.

Kurt Angle vs. D-Lo Brown

Taryn and Mickie James vs. Gail Kim and Tara

Sting vs. Matt Morgan for the #1 contender to the TNA title

We also FINALLY get a promo to set up a Bad Influence vs. Aries and Roode tag match on 5/9. James Storm will be the special ref…which sets up some interesting things with that Fortune storyline.

They also set up that on 5/9 there will be a 6 man tag with Sting and Kurt Angle and…someone against Aces and 8’s. Angle wanted Styles to join them.

So 5/9 already has two matches announced…one of which I’ve been dying to see.

 

Random Stuff

The second One Night Only ppv (a Battlebowl concept) will begin airing on Friday. It didn’t look very good from the spoilers. I’ll have a review in a future column.

The list of upcoming TV/PPV tapings is as follows:
5/9- Tupelo, MS (the live 5/9 show and the taped 5/16 show)
5/23- Tampa, FL (the live 5/23 show and the taped 5/30 show)
6/2- Boston, MA – Slammiversary XI
6/6- Duluth, GA – (the live 6/6 show and the taped 6/13 show)
6/20- Peoria, IL (the live 6/20 show and the taped 6/27 show)
6/29- Las Vegas, NV (taped to avoid July 4th, the 7/4 show and the 7/11 show)
7/18- Louisville, KY (the live 7/18 show and the taped 7/25 show)
8/1- Wichita Falls, TX (the live 8/1 show and the taped 8/8 show)
8/15- Norfolk, VA (the live 8/15 show and the taped 8/22 show)
8/29- Cleveland, OH (the live 8/29 show and the taped 9/5 show)