Jonathan Dehn
WWE Monday Night Raw
05/27/2013
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
-Previously on Raw: PocHHHie needs attention.
-Cena comes out to a split reaction. After soaking in the jeers and cheers, he comments on just that. Cena talks about the controversy from his last PPV match. Cena nixes the Ambulance Match idea and vouches for a Three Stages of Hell match. Lumberjack match will be stage one. Meh. Stage two is a tables match. Ok. Stage three is an ambulance match. C’mon, man.
Ryback is on the way out now. I’m not sure to believe that Ryback is wearing an ear piece in his hat. Ryback declares that he is Satan and leaves. I guess that’s a good way to get heel heat.
Paul Heyman steps onto the stage and introduces John Cena to Curtis Axel. And, we now have a main event match.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston
Big E hits some shoulders in the corner, but ADR answers back with a dropkick and a dive to the floor. Langston fights back and drops ADR face first over the steps. Back inside, Big E gets TWOOOOO. Langston goes to the bearhug but ADR gets out and goes up top. Big E catches him and hits the backbreakers.
ADR dodges a charge in the corner and hits Langston with a clothesline and follows it up with a Backstabber. Del Rio gives him the Si Kick for two. Langston fights out of the cross armbreaker and hits a belly to belly suplex. He pulls the straps down but walks into the armbreaker.
AJ hops up onto the apron and removes the top turnbuckle pad. Del Rio fights for it and gets the Cross Armbreaker. Langston powers out but gets sent into the exposed turnbuckle. Del Rio gets the roll up for the win. That’s some poor management from AJ. AJ belittles Langston for losing, and he walks off with her following behind.
Final Thoughts: This was just fine, with Del Rio and Langston having good chemistry in the ring. It seems that may be starting to tease a Big E face turn. Maybe he’s Kaitlyn’s secret admirer, if they haven’t entirely dropped that yet. Langston seems like a natural babyface, anyhow.
-Daniel Bryan and Kane in the back argue until Bret Hart shows up to put over Daniel Bryan. This was a nice segment, just for Daniel Bryan’s awestruck look as Bret complimented him passionately.
United States Title Match – Dean Ambrose © vs. Kofi Kingston
“Let’s go Ambrose” chants to start. Kofi gets the arm drag for one. Ambrose bails after dodging a few attempts at Trouble in Paradise. We go to break after Kofi feigns a dive to the outside. We return with Ambrose in control. Dean follows a short-armed clothesline with a stomp and Mutoh elbow for two.
Kofi fights back and slingshots Ambrose into the corner. That gets two. Kingston hits the chops and the cross body from the top. That also gets two. Ambrose dodges the Boom Drop and the two exchange pinning combinations to near falls. Kofi gets the SOS for two. A chop from the top gets two for Kofi but Ambrose dumps him outside onto the steel steps and rolls him back into the ring.
Kingston is knocked out and Ambrose hits the Headlock DDT to retain the title. Team Hell No make their way to the ring afterwards to clear the ring.
Final Thoughts: It was a good, clean match that made Ambrose look like a big star.
WWE Tag Team Titles – Team Hell No vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns ©
We’ve awkwardly transitioned into this match while in commercial. We join the match in progress with Rollins in control of Bryan. Rollins hits the shoulder block but gets a knee to the stomach and gets rocked by kicks. Kane tags in to calm down Bryan and hits a slam for two. Bryan comes on and they hit the Hart Attack for two.
Bryan locks in a hold and gets two after throwing in some elbows. Kane is back in and hits a right hand. Rollins reverses a chokeslam attempt into an enzuigiri. Reigns as in and takes over with stomps and a choke in the ropes. Rollins is back in and hammers on Kane in the corner. Seth attempts a suplex, but Kane reverses into one of his own.
Reigns gets in to prevent the hot tag and puts on a chinlock. Kane fights back but Reigns hits a slam for two. Seth is back in to beat on the face in peril. Rollins flips out of a back suplex but gets flipped on a clothesline. Bryan gets the hot tag and hits the dropkick on Reigns and German suplexes the hell out of Rollins before hitting the corner dropkick for two. Bryan hits the buzzsaw kick for another near fall.
Bryan goes up top but Rollins recovers and crotches him on the ropes. Bryan counters and pulls Rollins down in the toe of woe. After some kicks, he follows up with the dropkick in the face. Belly to back superplex leaves both men down. We go to break without warning and the match hanging in the balance.
Back from commercial, Bryan stomps down at Reigns. Bryan flips into the corner but eats a fierce clothesline from Reigns for two. Rollins is back in. The crowd appreciates this match. Rollins puts Bryan in a surfboard, stealing his move and taunting him at the same time. Bryan powers out impressively and kicks the stuffing out of Rollins before Seth hits an elbow and takes control.
Reigns is back and flattens Bryan with a shoulder block for two. Seth returns and stomps at Bryan, barking at him. Daniel fights back before getting tripped face-first into the middle turnbuckle for two. Roman returns. Reigns grabs a bearhug from the rear waistlock and beats on him in the corner before getting a boot to the face.
Bryan follows up with a leg lariat and looks to tag in Kane. Kane hits his sideslam and it’s broken up by Reigns, with Rollins as the legal man. Bryan returns and hits the dive on Reigns to the outside. Back in, Kane hits the big boot and then argues with Bryan. After the distracting, Rollins comes off of the top and hits the flying knee for the win.
Final Thoughts: This match was great. Everyone looked great in the ring, until the very end, when Kane and Bryan just kind of looked incompetent. The problem with them losing to the same guys so often is that they’re eventually just going to be talented jobbers. WWE has enough of those, already. Still, this is the match of the night.
-HHH is going to be fine, we learn from an update. Axel did absolutely nothing to worsen HHH’s injury.
-The Miz comes out and we have to vote to see what he’s going to do in the next match.
Wade Barrett vs. Fandango
It turns out that Miz is going to be the special guest referee for this match. They begin with reversing hammerlocks and Miz is already doing a poor job. Barrett hits a short armed clothesline for one and ties Fandango in the ropes and hits him a couple of time before tossing Miz out of the way to hit the big boot.
Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale and then counts the pin for Fandango. Miz then kicks Fandango in the face. Summer Rae falls on top, and Miz counts three on Fandango. JBL has it right that The Miz Is a horrible referee.
Final Thoughts: Only Summer Rae looked good after this segment. The interaction on Smackdown was far more enjoyable.
-John Cena is backstage hanging out with Shawn Michaels. Shawn tells Cena not to rush into the Three Stages of Hell match with Ryback but Cena has too much pride.
Tons of Funk and The Great Khali vs. 3MB
Drew and Khali start. Khali hits the chop, and hits another. In comes Tensai and he hits the rolling senton into the corner onto Drew. Drew comes back with the big boot and tags in Jinder. They hit a double Russian legsweep and Mahal puts Tensai into the corner.
Albert fights back after Heath enters, but eats a jawbreaker and a kick for two. Tensai answers with a right and brings in Brodus. T-bone connects, as well as a splash in the corner. A slam from Tensai get broken up and everyone enters the ring.
Khali chops down Heath and Brodus hits the splash for the win. After the match, Brodus takes the microphone and mentions that it is Natty’s birthday. Of course, Khali leads the crowd in wishing Natty a happy birthday.
Final Thoughts: This was just comedy time filler. Move on.
-Chris Jericho is out for the Highlight Reel and welcomes Paul Heyman to the ring. Jericho puts over Heyman for aligning himself with great talent. Paul gave Jericho his first big break, they agree. Chris mentions the money that Paul still owes Chris. It would have been more humorous if the table didn’t make the same joke before the segment.
Jericho puts over Axel but asks about Heyman’s other client. Not Lesnar, though. He wants to talk about CM Punk. Paul tries to skirt the questions regarding Punk’s status before claiming they’ll have some sort of announcement. Jericho calls Punk out and Paul tries to interrupt Jericho from claiming he’s the best in the world at what he does.
Chris manipulates Paul into giving him a match with Punk at Payback. He makes sure to tease a Codebreaker before telling Heyman that Punk will never be the same again.
Kaitlyn and Natalya vs. The Bella Twins
The crowd chants “Happy Birthday” at Natty as Kaitlyn controls the early going before losing control on the outside. Kaitlyn eats a clothesline after a Bellas tag. A chinlock follows. Hot tag to Natty and she hits the snap suplex and follows up with a discus clothesline and then the Sharpshooter.
It gets broken up and Kaitlyn comes with a spear. After a mishap, Kaitlyn hits Natty with another spear and Brie covers for the win. So Natty jobs on her birthday, in her home town. WWE. After the match, The Bellas taunt Natty by singing happy birthday worse than Khali.
Final Thoughts: This was just here to maintain the trend of the company jobbing out stars in their hometown.
-Meanwhile, Bret and tells Axel to ditch Heyman. Curtis answers back, telling Bret that Heyman is only guy that believed in him before last week.
-Bray Wyatt vignette. Yes!
Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Team Rhodes Scholars
Before the match, we recap Sandow’s dismantling of THE GORDIAN KNOT. Cody and Randy start the match. Orton hits a couple of shoulderblocks before they lock up. Another shoulderblock for Orton and he tags in Sheamus, who springs in with The Battering Ram. Sandow is in and ducks a clothesline but gets hit with a slam.
Orton returns and hits some punches in the corner and follows with a dropkick for two. Sandow fights back and tags in Rhodes. Orton comes out of the corner with a clothesline for two. Orton hits a suplex and brings Sheamus back in. Sheamus hits some clobbering blows before Cody comes back and stomps away in the corner. Sheamus comes back with a whip and neckbreaker for two.
Sandow returns and drops the knee. A whip is reversed and Sheamus hits the rolling Samoan Drop. Sandow pulls Sheamus off of the top after a distraction and gets two. We hit the break. We return with Sandow in control.
Cody reenters and pulls Sheamus away from the tag. He puts on a body scissors and throws on a chinlock. He charges, but gets caught in Sheamus’ backbreaker. Hot tag Orton. He hits the usual, clotheslines and powerslams on both men. He follows with the DDT on Sandow. Cody pulls Sandow out of the ring to save him from the RKO.
Damien rolls Orton back in after putting him into the ring post for two. They plug the application before Cody gets two with a face first suplex. Sandow comes in with the knees, Russian Leg Sweep, and The Elbow of Disdain! Sandow continues his vicious attack and brings Cody back in.
Orton comes back and hits The Exploder. Both mean are down, but Sheamus gets the hot tag. Sheamus clubbers Sandow and goes for the White Noise but eats the Disaster Kick. Orton gets Rhodes out of the ring. Meanwhile, Sheamus finally hits White Noise on Sandow and looks for the Brogue Kick and gets the pin. I didn’t think that Sandow was the legal man.
Final Thoughts: This was fine. It did bug me that Cody was the legal man, but that may have been a mistake on Cody’s part. Still, this is probably just something for Sheamus and Orton to do for a couple of week before they get tossed into unrelated matches at Payback.
John Cena vs. Curtis Axel
There’s headlock reversals to start before Cena gets a hip toss that sends Axel retreating to the outside. We hit the break. We return with Cena hitting the stairs. Cena beats the count back in and gets whipped into the corners. Axel locks in an armbar.
Either the crowd is getting behind Cena to fight back, or something is happening in the stands. This armbar is lasting, FOREVER. I should watch “The Sandlot” later. A clothesline for Axel gets two. Cena hits the shoulderblock and slam before The Five Knuckle Shuffle. Axel fights out of the AA and hits the dropkick. Axel blows the Bret Hart second rope elbow and gets hit with a slam for two.
Axel hits the sitting snapmare and a boot for two. Cena reverses out of the Perfect-Plex and goes for the STF, but Axel fight out and hits the Perfect-Plex for two. Axel misses a charge in the corner and eats a clothesline.
An ambulance rolls out into the arena. Cena approaches the ambulance, putting Axel to 2-0 with another count out victory. Ryback attacks from behind and tosses him up onto the stage. Heavy Goldberg chants dominate this segment. Ryback retreats and they finally mention that Axel won. Show’s over.
Final Thoughts: This was slow and plodding for the first few minutes. I feel that they stayed in the rest hold for so long to keep the camera away from what was happening in the stands. At the end, the crowd got really hot for the Perfect-Plex. Still, it would have been better for Axel to start from the bottom so that he could pick up victories so that he didn’t have to take count out wins like this.
BRET HART BONUS COVERAGE
All they needed to do get people like me to download the application was to dangle Bret Hart in front of my face. Nicely played, WWE. Nicely played.
Jerry Lawler hosts this shindig and we start with a video package covering Bret’s career. Soon, thereafter, Bret comes out and has kind words for King. He recalls a moment where, during their feud, King’s words about his parents actually led to mother to finally become a wrestling fan.
First to come out and pay homage to Bret is Pat Patterson. Bret couldn’t help himself and jokes about how he should be scared if Pat gets on his knees in front of him. Lawler scrambles to cover up the joke, while Patterson catches on and laughs it off.
Out next comes Chris Jericho, who is saddened to have never been in the ring with Bret at any point during their careers. Still, he recalls a time where Bret used a move that he once suggested to him days earlier, humbled that the WWE Champion would take advice from him in 1995.
Shawn Michaels is next, wearing hideously awesome boots. He thanks Bret for being able to be the Lex Luthor to his Superman.
Finally, Vince McMahon comes out. After poking fun at Calgary for a moment, Vince thanks Bret for his service and skill. Bret defends Calgary and makes a quick joke about how he and 20,000 Canadians should get back at Vince since they have the perfect chance. Bret thanks WWE for their contribution to his life and it all ends with the ramp being filled by the roster giving him a standing ovation, along with the crowd.
–We were given a terrific tag team title match tonight, and a great interaction between Paul Heyman and Chris Jericho. Also of note was Bret Hart giving his endorsement to Daniel Bryan. ADR and Big E Langston have pretty good chemistry in the ring. Ambrose’s win was clean and he looked like a big star. On the other hand, these shows are very tiring and I struggle to recall even the annoying parts of the presentation. Jericho saying that Punk took his ball and went home doesn’t apply since Punk is actually dealing with a serious knee injury. In fact, WWE would have been wise to mention this, as it would have put over one of their top stars. While these tag team matches are tremendous, a team can only lose so many times before they just look incompetent. Hopefully, WWE doesn’t ignore the great reactions and pushes Bryan towards bigger things in the near future. Also, the Bray Wyatt vignette was tremendously creepy.
DVR MARKERS
Albert Del Rio vs. Big E Langston – 0:22 – Slightly Recommended
Team Hell No vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns – 0:58 – Highly Recommended
Paul Heyman on The Highlight Reel – 1:54 – Recommended
Bray Wyatt Vignette – 2:24 – Slightly Recommended
Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Team Rhodes Scholars – 2:25 – Slightly Recommended
