Jonathan Dehn
WWE Smackdown
Minneapolis, Minnesota
09/06/2013
-HHH and Vickie are in a carpeted ring with the roster overlooking for the stage, as we begin the show. The official word on Cody’s firing is that he was insubordinate to the COO, who represents WWE, which represent WWE fans. “Cody Rhodes fired Cody Rhodes,” is HHH’s line. So, to give comfort to the roster, HHH gives them an open forum. Of course, there will be no repercussions. Of course, nobody comes up to the microphone. Finally, after some goading, Damien steps up and fully supports the decision to fire Cody Rhodes. HHH doesn’t want a suck-up, as he’s more of a sadist. Kofi steps up and says that the locker room’s morale is low. Heath Slater shows up and says that Big Show sucks and HHH rules. HHH makes fun of Heath by calling him stupid. RVD says that the vibe he’s feeling isn’t good with him. HHH makes fun of his speech. Ryback steps up and says that he’s tired of being called a bully. HHH gives him a return match with Dolph Ziggler. HHH calls out Bryan and his ego for not being on stage. HHH sets up some matches, and here we go.
Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam w/Ricardo Rodriguez
ADR is at the desk for the match. RVD gets some shoulder thrusts in the corner to start and come off the turnbuckle for two. With Orton down, head hanging over the apron, Rob slingshots over with a legdrop. Rob hits the side kick from the top and gets two. Rolling Thunder gets reversed into a powerslam for two. Fun. Orton stomps away at the knee. RVD comes back with a spinning dropkick for two.
Randy fights out of the corner and hits some rights and stomps. RVD gets the boot up in the corner and gets the split-legged moonsault for two. ADR is very, very boring on commentary. Rob follows Randy outside and drops him over the barricade. Rob misses the legdrop from the ring apron. Orton rolls him back in and walks and stomps. Orton interrupts a comeback with a dropkick and tosses Rob outside. We quickly go to break.
Orton has the chinlock as we return. Rob gets the elbow up in the corner, hits a couple of clotheslines, a superkick and a standing moonsault for two. Orton dodges the corner monkey flip and attacks the leg. The fall from Van Dam garners a two count. Randy gets a backbreaker and plants Rob with the hanging DDT. RVD counters the RKO and gets a rollup for two. A kick sets up Rolling Thunder and Rob goes up to the tope. Orton rolls out of the way. Rob comes back with a kick to Orton’s jaw while Del Rio beats away at Ricardo on the outside. Van Dam splashes onto that jerk, but Orton shows up and hits the hanging DDT FROM THE APRON and to the floor. Orton cleans up with the RKO on the inside for the win. After the match, Del Rio beats up Van Dam a bit more and puts on a cross armbreaker.
Final Thoughts: ***1/2 and a good, good match. RVD did all that I’ve ever wanted and then some by taking that DDT to the floor. And hey, it added some fuel to the WHC story line.
-Backstage, Renee is with Daniel Bryan. He addresses accusations made by HHH during the town hall meeting and is quite confident in his abilities.
-Meanwhile, AJ talks to the other Divas that aren’t on Total Divas and attempts to rally them to her cause. It works. Then, she begins to plot with them. Of course, we don’t find out AJ’s plan…
Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback
There’s a quick start with Dolph landing on his feet following a press and dodging Ryback. Dolph hits a dropkick but misses a corner splash. Ryback hits a slam and a quick splash. HE STOLE ROWAN’S FINISH! Dean Ambrose pops out of nowhere to join commentary. Back inside, Ryback has a bearhug. There’s an odd spot where Ryback gets a couple of two counts while holding it. Dolph gets a DDT from a slam attempt and sends Ryback shoulder first into the steel post.
Ziggler hops on top in the corner and hits a few punches. He follows with a neckbreaker for two. Dolph gets the Fameasser for two. Ryback sends Dolph outside with a shoulderblock. Dolph dodges a charge and Ryback goes into the steel steps. Ziggler chases off Ambrose, but runs into the Meathook. Ryback finishes with Shell Shocked.
Final Thoughts: **. This was alright, but maybe Dolph could have grabbed a quick win? Momentum, anyone?
Kofi Kingston vs. Curtis Axel w/Paul Heyman
Axel grabs a headlock, and they fight over as a small “Curtis Axel” chant breaks out. There’s a decent little mat wrestling segment to begin. The two crisscross after an Axel shoulderblock. Kofi hits a flying back elbow. Curtis regroups on the outside and returns. Kofi hits a ‘rana and a dropkick. Axel dodges a baseball slide and whips Kofi into the steps…but Kofi leaps over them, and bounds off of them, coming back with a clothesline. Heyman distracts Kingston and Axel knocks him from the apron. We go to break.
We return with Axel in control, a fifty-fifty chant breaking out, the Minneapolis crowd showing some love for Axel. Curtis hits the boomerang clothesline for two. The fans call for the Perfect-Plex. Axel comes off of the second rope but gets some boots to the face. Kofi builds momentum, but Axel comes back with a standing dropkick for two. Kofi gets a boot to the face, but gets crotched and hung in the tree of woe. Kofi reverses a DDT attempt into the SOS for the quick win.
Final Thoughts: **1/2. The match was fine, but the flash pin kind of came out of nowhere when it could have used a few minutes and a Perfect-Plex to pop the crowd. Axel losing here was stupid on many levels. While everyone knows that he can’t beat Punk, he still needs some momentum going into the sub main event of the show. But, since they’re in Minneapolis here, he just had to lose.
-Renee catches up with Paul Heyman backstage. She asks if he is concerned to enter the ring with CM Punk. I like the touch of Paul not shaving for a few days. Paul says that his “worst” is badder than Punk’s. Renee reminds him that Punk wants to give him the beating of his life. I like this little background feud between Renee and Paul.
Brie Bella vs. Naomi
Brie hits some offense, with a grounded dropkick for two. She follows with a hairtoss. Brie puts on what looks to be a quarter nelson. Naomi squirms out and gets some of that flippy-floppy offense. The two collide and tumble outside. AJ’s crew charges down to the ring like the nWo B-team and gets to work on the Total Diva cast. AJ gets on the microphone and reminds everyone that she is champion, to get a heel reaction.
Final Thoughts: I certainly didn’t mind the after match shenanigans. The match itself was disappointing. They got two minutes to work with before the run-in and decided to work through spots with breakneck pace until they got the signal and tumbled outside. It was just a string of moves that didn’t sit well with me.
The Real Americans w/Zeb Colter vs. The Usos
Cesaro and Jimmy start off, and Antonio charges in with a dropkick, tosses Jimmy outside and tags in Swagger, who heads out to hit a chop block. Back inside, Swagger hits some shoulderthrusts in the corner. Swaggerbomb and a blind tag leads to the double stomp. Jimmy and Cesaro chop, and Swagger reenters. A double slam gets two for Jack. Cole takes a jab at Jason Garrett’s coaching abilities just before Jimmy fights back and dumps Swagger to the outside. Hot tag Jey, who hiptosses Cesaro to the outside and follows with a splash. Jey gets a shouderblock from the top and hits the hip smash in the corner. Swagger saves Antonio, who gets a small package for two. The action breaks down, with Jey getting shoved from the top right into the Deadly Deadshot (just something I felt like calling Cesaro’s sweet uppercut) for three.
Final Thoughts: **1/2, this was a fun sprint. WWE better watch out, or Swagger and Cesaro are going to get over as faces by adding cool double team moves and generally flying around the ring with their strength and athleticism.
3MB vs. The Big Show
Big Show at Heath’s leg and tosses Drew and Jinder outside. He disposes of them quite easily, chopping away at Jinder on the announce table and hitting a spear on Drew. He tosses them all into the ring. Jinder and Drew get a double chokeslam and Heath tries to beg off, but gets punched in the face.
Final Thoughts: KAPOW!
Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan
Seth gets a sneak attack to start and stomps away. Bryan hits a knee off of a whip and kicks away. Bryan misses the roundhouse kick, but hits the Cactus Clothesline. Back inside, Seth fights back but slams Bryan to the outside. Rollins hits a big boot on the apron and gets two on Bryan. Seth and Bryan trade forearms, but Bryan tosses Rollins over with a German suplex. Rollins pretty much landed on his head. The office isn’t going to like that. Corner dropkick sets up the missile dropkick for two.
Rollins ducks the buzzsaw and soon thereafter gets an enzuigiri that causes Bryan to spill outside. With the referee’s back turned, Reigns hits a clothesline on the outside. Rollins tosses Bryan into the stairs. Seth goes up but gets caught in the Yes Lock. The Shield distracts Bryan, but he just works through it, taking care of Reigns and Ambrose before hitting the Cena Stopper for the win. After the match, Orton charges out of the back attacks Bryan on the ramp.
Final Thoughts: ***. It’s too bad that people don’t watch Smackdown, or they would have noticed that they actually did a glimmer of hope spot here where Bryan got to get one back on The Shield before Orton got him with a cheap shot on the ramp. The crowd is now reacting to the knee as a top finishing move, and Rollins and Bryan are just never afforded the time to have a true classic of a match in WWE. Off of the missile dropkick, Bryan began to clutch the back of his head. At the end, Orton’s belt shot seemed to also hit him in the back of the head. I predict that they’ll try to make Bryan withdraw from his title match through injury.
–This was just a good, two hour wrestling show that no one seems to care about anymore. It’s too bad. If you have it saved on the DVR for later, be sure to check it out.
