909 Watches TV: Peaky Blinders

[909]

IRMA KOSTROSKI

Man, I really thought I was going to hate this shit. At least Richard Lewis was in good enough shape to do one episode while sitting down. Tracey Ullman kills this character. The ending of the episode is too contrived and totally ridiculous, but everything leading up to that is really fun and the following episode got past said ending. Irma and Larry seem to hate each other so much, but Larry sees a way to save his show from this Maria Sofia nonsense. He needs to befriend Irma Kostroski or go even further than that. LD can't stand her but this leads to some of Larry David's best acting in the entire series. Of course his motivation is to get that pool fence law repealed so he can fire Maria Sofia, but what depths will he plunge to?

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Best episode of the season here. I thought Irma was bad but this episode takes it to a whole other level. LD fucks her and Leon walks into the house during the aftermath of the next morning. I thought this would be the peak of the episode but Irma's daughter and son-in-law spying on Larry took the fucking cake. It's not just what they were saying, it's the stuff he was doing. This Irma character is so repulsive that everything she says just kills me. She's also really enamored with LD and I'm sure the way this ends is going to be extremely funny. In addition we have Leon trying to start a new business where he goes over to people's houses and tries to prevent them from getting screwed out of money. A lot of things happen because people actually needed these repairs. This and...other things lead to Susie finding out Jeff is cheating on her again, and she attacks Irma because that's who she initially thought he was cheating with. I've had a lot of bad shit happen to me in the last three months, and a lot of good shit too, but I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard.

 

[909]

This btw is like, i dunno man. Peak comedy. I don't know how anyone could act this scene out without falling apart. Also when you think about it Leon has been living with him for 15 years lirl

 

[909]

IGOR, GREGOR, AND TIMOR

Jeff has to apologize for what he's done to Susie, and this turns into LD and Jeff encountering three extremely similar characters played by Bill Hader. Sure they're the same character but Hader nearly cracks multiple times while playing these parts. I found them funny but seemingly many did not. The more Susie the better and she's in these last two episodes plenty. Irma also wants her vagina rejuvenated and this brings her into contact with Susie, whom Larry is able to use to try to convince Irma to get said surgery so he doesn't have to fuck her anymore. It doesn't work for him but it's still a good gag. Isn't as good as the previous episode but that would be nearly impossible.

THE MORMON ADVANTAGE

Weird season finale here. Finally the Irma shit falls apart and does so in an appalling way that evokes Larry's past transgressions in the earlier seasons. I love how Leon is basically the only person Larry will listen to anymore and he still has to kick him out of his house in an attempt to make the Irma thing work just for a few days more. He can't even pull that off. We also had a huge callback to ten years ago when Leon said that he didn't have a photo ID, and he says that he got one now JUST FOR THIS TRIP TO ASIA. I'm sure Larry stealing the shoes from the holocaust museum is too far for some people. It is pretty far but you know, does he have The Pass? You know what pass I'm talking about right? The ending of this episode is pretty bad but I can forgive it because of everything that came before. Irma and Maria Sofia being sent to the shadowrealm is probably not the best way to deal with the situation. This might be the worst finale the show has had, but I laughed a lot this season and don't give a fuck.



Also, dude this show has been on 20 years and still doesn't really have a weak cast member. Cheryl is the least amusing person in the show at this point, but that's alright.

 

[909]

ALWAYS SUNNY SEASON 15

2020: A YEAR IN REVIEW

As soon as I saw this title, I knew I was going to have a problem with this episode. After a full six years of Trump shit, I am done. I don't want to hear these jokes anymore. He was President four years, the years before and after that were filled with these jokes, I fucking had enough. Six years of this motherfucker and people are still going. Two years of pandemic and people are still running with that too. Nope, this isn't something I can keep on handling. I'm done with it. The episode isn't funny at all, and the end gag being that they were talking about Kanye West the whole time, that's a whatever.

THE GANG MAKES LETHAL WEAPON 7

This on the other hand is pretty good. I loved seeing my man Tiger Woods make a comeback here. As an aside, Charlie Day aged a lot between seasons and it seems really notable here. The premise is that Lethal Weapon 5 and 6 got taken off the library shelf, so they need to make a 7th that changes things up. They do change things up, but a lot of the jokes here bomb hard and I think that's supposed to be the point. The Dennis dating seen is a big highlight here as are the gags where Frank gets jerked off under the blanket. We supposed to phrase it like that? I did anyway.

 

[909]

THE GANG BUYS A ROLLER RINK

I understand why people said this episode was the worst one, but to me that's a little overblown. This isn't a good episode and has a lot of continuity issues, but the Frank and Dennis bit here is amazing. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Mac was another highlight here, but Dee and Charlie were totally untrue to the established characters and I hated that. I don't know if the roller rink itself was supposed to evoke nostalgia, but it didn't and as a result everything falls flat. I also noticed that Cricket has a writing credit here. Go back and look at which episodes give him a writing credit. All the bad ones are on that list.

THE GANG REPLACES DEE WITH A MONKEY

Everyone thinks Dee is menopausal when she's not, and they don't want to deal with it so they replace Dee with a monkey while she goes off on her acting kick again. That's the episode and it's a good one. These episodes are often really good when Dee ventures out on her own away from everyone else. She gets a lot more focus when things are this way, and the focus is very much needed given that the first three episodes of this season are just not how I'd want to start a season. I also think this is true to the essence of the show, especially contrasted with the previous episode. Dee's acting class gag is a highlight too.

THE GANG GOES TO IRELAND

Alright, so with Dee getting the acting job, the Gang decided that when she got drunk they could exchange her first class ticket for five coach seats. Now they're all in Ireland. Charlie and Mac split off to learn about their Irish heritage, and Frank takes Dee and Dennis to his office to shred some documents. The Waitress joke here is not even slightly funny so I'll ignore that. Mac went from being really fucking annoying last season to being a highlight of this season. I also said previously that I was tired of pandemic jokes but it was very funny for Dennis to catch COVID. OR DID HE?

 

[909]

THE GANG'S STILL IN IRELAND

This season finished up much better than how it started. Finally we get some answers about Charlie's dad, and I guess O'Brien from Star Trek fucked his way around the whole galaxy because the guy is playing his dad. I thought this would be some bullshit joke but it turns out that it is not. The long running question has been answered. Charlie also knows the Irish language which we covered in the previous episode. I dig all of this. These episodes are way more serialized than anything else in the series is though. Poor Frank.

DEE SINKS IN A BOG

So, Dennis had COVID and Dee wants to date the doctor who treated him. That goes very badly and she sinks in a bog. Dennis and Frank on the other hand want to mess with Charlie and ruin his relationship with his dad. This doesn't work but the scene is absolutely hilarious. The scenes with Mac and the priest are similarly amusing and as a result this episode is really well done.

THE GANG CARRIES A CORPSE UP A MOUNTAIN

I love that they introduced Charlie's dad only to immediately kill him off because Frank gave him COVID. Frank's speech about the vaccine is probably the highlight of the season. Everyone gets the point of this episode, right? They didn't exactly try to hide it. Extremely funny stuff. The Paddy's Pub half of the season isn't that good, but the Ireland half breathes new life into the show and it's great. Charlie was great in all of these.

 

[909]

SHERLOCK SEASON 1

A STUDY IN PINK

Alright I'm not too sure I want to keep doing this writing because of the time investment, but anyway, I started this show a few days ago. I see what the big deal is even though the first episode isn't an ideal case to begin things with. This is a case of a literal serial pillist. Were the writers reading our board? Who knows. The way we were introduced to Watson, him having a cane he doesn't need after an injury that wasn't so bad anymore, I liked that too. I was expecting them to introduce Moriarty instantly, which they did not do and instead only referred to him as paying the killer to commit these crimes. The killer was dying anyway and wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. We've heard that before, but in this case he goes out because Watson shoots him to death while Sherlock is playing games. We are then introduced to Sherlock's brother, played by a guy who writes the show. Okay then.

THE BLIND BANKER

This 90 minute episode started off really weird, with Sherlock fighting some random guy dressed in strange, racially ambiguous clothes. Eventually we get to our real story, which is a Chinese immigrant thing intertwined with a huge international bank. This isn't as good as the first one but there's a lot of funny moments here. There are also some action scenes once Sherlock gets busted snooping around somewhere he doesn't belong. As for what I didn't like here, I didn't care for Gemma Chan's immigrant accent deal they had her doing. I don't see the point of it and that's not how she talks. Watson getting a girlfriend is an interesting story wrinkle that either may or may not mean anything. I know the second season was done two years after this one and a minor character like her may not come back again. The ending was a funny little twist as well. You'd almost think the episode was completely disentangled from the first one, but it isn't.

THE GREAT GAME

Nice little cliffhanger we ended on. We're finally introduced to Moriarty, but before that we see him as a gay man in the laboratory with the girl who has a major crush on Sherlock. It wasn't obviously Moriarty at this moment either. He just wanted to see Sherlock. This is a great episode. Basically, Moriarty keeps setting up cases for Sherlock to solve. One or two of them, he may or may not have done anything at all. Sherlock has to solve them before people are detonated with suicide vests. Maybe it isn't possible to save some of them anyway. It's not possible to describe all this, but it's fantastic. The episode is very fast paced, it's strange seeing someone solve all these things in a modern way. It's also different seeing Moriarty portrayed as being a complete maniac.

 

[cobainwasmurdered]

i really enjoy the reviews when they're shows i've seen so I hope you keep doing them.

 

[909]

SEASON 2

A SCANDAL IN BELGRAVIA

This took some time to watch because I've had a busy week. This is the one and I assume only Irene Adler episode. Like I don't know who does and doesn't read and has or hasn't read these books before. But yeah. So, the last season ended with Moriarty and Sherlock in a standoff, and it is resolved because Moriarty received a phone call and had to leave. Anyway, the premise here is that Irene Adler has photographs of her with a female member of the royal family, and it is likely that she will sell them. The phone with the pictures on them must be retrieved. There is far more than just that on this phone, and the CIA wants it. This is a great episode, perhaps the best of the series to this point. There are a lot of very funny jokes here, particularly the ringtones. If you've seen this you know what I'm talking about. Supposedly this was also supposed to take place over the course of a year, which makes a lot of sense. One thing I am curious about is whether or not those cruel comments Sherlock made towards Molly will have any impact on the later story. But who knows, I guess. If only more shows that were supposed to be funny actually were, like this one is.

 

[909]

THE HOUNDS OF BASKERVILLE

I thought this was the weakest episode of the series to this point. I believe this is also the most commercially adapted of any of Arthur Conan Doyle's stories. This episode has some moments to be sure, but nothing compared to those in previous episodes. I did very much like that this was a government conspiracy story. I also dug the ending. Unfortunately getting to that isn't as interesting as previous events, with the exception of Sherlock stealing Mycroft's identity. He should have just claimed that he took Rogaine or something to grow hair. Sherlock being wrong is something that should be a big deal, but again, this episode doesn't have juice. I'm not sure if I'm in the minority on this one or not. The mind palace scene is also really goofy.

 

[909]

THE REICHENBACH FALL

All I should say here is holy shit, but the show did a mistake in showing Sherlock at the end of the episode, presumably because they didn't want to answer all kinds of questions (and who would?). I think there's another mistake when they start with Watson after the fact saying Sherlock is dead, and I've said in my movie reviews that I hate that shit so that's not surprising. Besides these two things this is fantastic. Moriarty wants to discredit Sherlock and he succeeds because one of the police detectives has always been a massive fucking idiot. I wonder if or when we'll see her again. Anyway, a lot of this stuff you can see coming as a viewer, but they don't swerve you and bring in some shit from out of nowhere. That's what makes it all work. The only thing that REALLY comes out of nowhere is Moriarty putting a gun in his mouth and shooting himself. And he's nuts so it isn't that weird, but holy shit. Great episode.

 

[909]

SEASON 3

THE EMPTY HEARSE

I was looking forward to seeing how they explained Sherlock not dying, and the answer is that they didn't for about 80 minutes and I'm sure people at the time were not too happy about it. The episode is strange. Not because it isn't good or anything like that, but it's just weird. Sherlock has been gone two years and people have changed. Watson has changed. He has a girlfriend he wants to marry, but Sherlock inevitably has to tell him he's back and Watson doesn't like it. After a day working without Watson, Watson eventually returns and they get to solving the next big crime. Someone wants to blow up the London Underground and they need to figure out who. Watson gets abducted and Sherlock doesn't know why or by whom. I liked all this but it feels like the case was only part of the episode and that's not ideal for me. That's also what happens in the episode after this one.

THE SIGN OF THREE

It's time for Watson to get married and it's time for Sherlock to give a best man's speech. The speech goes back into a crime they started on back when the wedding was being planned, and it turns into a crime that's going on right now. The reason for the crime actually makes a lot of sense and it doesn't feel like the crime has been shoehorned into the episode's plot. At the end of all this, Sherlock seems upset that Watson has gotten married, his new wife is pregnant, and maybe their relationship will be changed forever. I bet this really upset all the shippers out there. At least Watson's CO didn't kill himself at Watson's wedding. How awful that would have been. I also enjoyed how strange this case/cases were.

 

[909]

HIS LAST VOW

I let these pile up a little bit but I was a big fan of this episode. We have a Rupert Murdoch ripoff guy whom Sherlock kills by shooting him in the head. That's the kind of thing I was hoping for. We have some twists and turns on the way there, but the episode is what I just said it was. That's good too, that's more of what we need. At the end, Sherlock is about to be sent back to Eastern Europe, but our guy Moriarty appears via video and asks if we missed him. Obviously he's dead, but something's going on, and Sherlock's jet has to turn around and head back towards the runway. Magnussen telling everyone that he remembered all this blackmail shit in his head was a huge mistake. Dude isn't it your glasses? Just don't tell the truth. I've left some things out deliberately but everything that brings us to this point is fantastic and I'm looking forward to see where it all goes.

THE ABOMINABLE BRIDE

I'm sure some people liked this because the show goes back to the 1890s but I am not one of those people. The cool things here were the stuff about Redbeard, Sherlock doing drugs, etc.

SEASON 4

THE SIX THATCHERS

I was surprised that this was a direct continuation of His Last Vow. Let's fuckin go. Obviously nobody knows Moriarty's scheme although I think I've figured it out already. Time will tell if I'm right though. Unfortunately in this one, Mary eats it while saving Sherlock from certain death, and Watson freaks and come the end of this episode he doesn't want to speak to Sherlock anymore. I was a big fan of Sherlock and Watson just sticking something in Mary's memory stick so they could follow her around. No crazy deductions needed here. The case that starts this also seems unconnected, but it isn't. Unfortunately I only have two more episodes left because this has been great. Unfortunately I'm not sure they're going to make more of them. I don't know where things could go from here though. Watson hates Holmes now. His wife is dead. Don't know how you recover.

 

[909]

THE LYING DETECTIVE

I've been really sick so I couldn't sit and watch an episode until last night. Anyway, I built this up for a while and there were only two episodes left. Now there's one, but this was a little disappointing to me. We spent most of the episode, as in almost all of it, with Sherlock in a complete tailspin using drugs and that isn't what I got into this show for to begin with. It was also weird because I just saw Toby Jones in a movie I really disliked and it's difficult for me to transition from one project into the other when there's such a strong contrast between the two. The epilogue here is great, but I would have liked the rest of the episode to meet those standards. Sherlock having a secret sister is a something though. Hopefully it's something good, but I know that people complained HEAVILY about the last episode in the series to date. Perhaps the focus here should have been more on Sherlock and Watson.

 

[909]

THE FINAL PROBLEM

Now that I've seen this I'm surprised anyone is waiting for a season 4, and even more surprised that people involved with the show are talking about it. This thing should be over. They resolved it in what I thought was a satisfying way, and nothing further is needed. The ending of the previous episode featured Sherlock and Mycroft's sister Eurus revealing herself to everyone by tranquilizing Watson. We did already have this plot thread running through the season though, it was clear something like this would happen. In this episode, everyone goes to the prison Eurus is supposed to be at and they learn they've walked into one big trap. This is absolutely, clearly intended to be a final episode. It's good, even though a lot of the stuff that happens here is straight out of nothing but fantasy, but that's okay. I'll watch more if there is more, but I thought this episode perfectly rounded out the characters when that was most needed to take place. Good show, but I'm surprised this was one of the most rated shows on IMDB.

 

[909]

TRUE DETECTIVE SEASON 1

Of course I've seen Season 1 before but I'm going to start over and then keep it going. I wasn't too sure how this would hold up after all this time, but it still does and I don't give much of a shit about the plagiarism controversy or the amount of philosophy babble here. The fact is that it's good. The philosophy shit is great and something I think was much needed at the time before everyone started ripping it off. This is the peak of TV acting too. The dual narrative is very ambitious, I don't really need to describe all this stuff because everyone's seen it before. I won't update this thread again until Season 2, but I thought I should update with what I was doing at least.

 

[cobainwasmurdered]

no Loki recaps?

 

[909]

no Loki recaps?

Nope cause I goofed up and didn't do it instantly I can't remember enough of the first episode to easily do so now.

 

[AA484]

If I never get married, I'm gonna like "present-day" Rust in my 40s

 

[muzzington]

No Columbo recaps?

 

[909]

TRUE DETECTIVE SEASON 2

THE WESTERN BOOK OF THE DEAD

Well this season has been built up as being really terrible, but I've never seen it and it's past time to do so. I see how this season could wind up being terrible even though I don't think it starts that way. I thought this was all interesting but for the most part was amusing even if it wasn't supposed to be. You can also see what the potential problems in the season are. The amount of irons thrown into the fire will make this difficult to tie together, and expanding the cast from having one brooding detective to three is a lot to ask of the viewer. There's also no philosophy here which should have made it easier for some people to understand. So let me try to sum shit up. Ray Velcoro (Colin Farrell) is a detective in a small, corrupt Los Angeles suburb. His son may not be his but this guy wants to be his dad anyway. He may or may not have the rapist of his ex-wife killed, whatever happened he is now indebted to Frank Semyon (Vince Vaughn). Frank is starting a new corrupt business venture, but his business partner has disappeared and at the end of the episode we find that he's been killed. Semyon's business partner is found by an Officer Woodrugh (Taylor Kitsch), who has been suspended after an allegation of sexual misconduct that is ill founded. Lastly we have a Ventura County detective named Ani (Rachel McAdams), I am not even gonna try to spell her last name. She does not tie in even remotely as well as I was able to do so with the other cast members, I see no point in even trying. Point is? SOMETHING'S GOING ON.

The ASS PEN and FUCKING LEBRONS OR WHATEVER has been covered so many times on this board that I don't need to. Need more dads like this guy


NIGHT FINDS YOU

Alright, so there's a lot to unpack here but I think I'm gonna roll with the first thing that really sticks out to me. I do not think this writer is remotely capable of handling a closeted gay character but when it comes to Woodrugh that's what we're gonna get. Regardless this dude has barely talked in the first two episodes and maybe he doesn't matter at all. He's definitely gay though. Anyways, with the VINCI CITY MANAGER now dead, it is time for a task force. Everyone is given their orders by respective parties. Ray is supposed to stall the case out and keep Vinci's corrupt officials in the loop. If he can't stall it out, well, don't get fucked over. Semyon has lost all his money, so he needs something from Ray too. I think it's cool that they want to turn Ray into an informant but that's never how these shows actually turn out, not a fest of nihilism like this. Sure enough at the end of the episode he gets shot but I presume not killed. The scene with Ani watching porn though...even a depraved fucked up show like this is capable of surprising me sometimes. Obviously all these people are nuts but we got a long way to go. Luckily I don't know what happens but I love seeing my man Dan from Deadwood wind up as some kind of detective (most likely going to be a dead one) up in here.

 

[909]

MAYBE TOMORROW

Of course, Ray did not get killed and the shots weren't lethal, but that's lazy storytelling. Like, you need to throw a fake death in the second episode why? Anyways, it's time for Woodrugh to work the prostitute part of this case, and because he's gay I have no idea how this shit will go, but in this episode it went a big pile of nowhere. Ani goes with him to the Vinci mayor's house and good times are had. Semyon has to get back into the life of crime. This is all really not very good and suffers from the biggest problem a show can have, which is to be boring. Other than Semyon pulling that dude's teeth out, I was bored. It is funny that Woodrugh fucked one of his buddies over in Iraq but...lol it's still funny I can't finish this sentence. This is all missing something though, it isn't profound and it's just a show about three fucked up people working a case. They're stuck on the periphery of it with no breakthrough, so this episode spirals.

DOWN WILL COME

I like seeing how much worse things can get for these characters. Ray is further from his son, Semyon is a huge douchebag to his wife, Ani gets thrown off the Ventura County force for claims of sexual misconduct, Woodrugh wakes up clearly after having fucked his friend while drunk. Awesome. Woodrugh gets the real pile on though, his bike is stolen and it seems the media found out that he was a mercenary. Like it isn't bad enough for everyone to think the shit people already think of him? His girlfriend is pregnant too lmao. The dialogue in the show also gets worse the longer it goes, and the shootout is a really bad closing scene that makes the shootout in season 1 look even better than it was (and it was already great). I will say though that at least Farrell is getting great lines to work with. They put it on him to say the most fucked up shit and he absolutely ran with it. The thing I also don't understand about this season is why Semyon is so easily able to slide back into being a criminal. I don't think anyone would put up with that bullshit in the real world.

 

[cobainwasmurdered]

that shootout is embarrassingly bad

 

[909]

OTHER LIVES

So we move forward two months which is something this show desperately needed, but this episode is more boring than the rest of them. The plot progresses as slowly as possible even though it's kinda interesting, and the dialogue this time around just isn't good enough to prop up the plot. Ray resigned and is now working for Semyon, Ani is shoved in the evidence room, Woodrugh is still dealing with the actress who claimed sexual misconduct. I was waiting for this dude to blurt out he was gay so this could go away but I guess that's not going to happen. This episode also makes really clear that having different directors for every episode killed the vision of this season. There are episodes that are good, episodes that are bad and boring, episodes that don't fit with the tone of everything else. For some reason that was allowed to take place uncorrected. The best scene here is when Woodrugh confronts his mom and starts screaming at her for stealing his money. Farrell's lines are still good too, but the plot moves slowly while being far too complicated and difficult to follow. No realism here either.

CHURCH IN RUINS

You know what, this is actually a really good episode and more what this show should have been like from the start. Everything moves at a good pace, no big surprises are revealed with characters we haven't seen before, almost everything here is good. I say almost everything because Vince Vaughn is still given terrible lines that are impossible to read properly and it shows. Now that being said, again, this is a really good episode. Ray's meltdown over the news about his wife's rapist is a great scene. He just wants to give up on his son now, but I gotta say, that guy doesn't exactly look like he fathered Chad either. The scene at the orgy is fantastic as well and finally gave Rachel McAdams something to work with. We actually got a payoff to her line earlier in the season about how a man could kill her easily but she'd cut him to pieces. Sure enough she does exactly that. That whole scene was the opposite of doing something like a police job, and given the nature of our three characters I find that appropriate. At least that episode was good though. I've been waiting and waiting and waiting.

 

[909]

BLACK MAPS AND HOTEL ROOMS

Well this episode wasn't great but there sure were some moments. Namely when Woodrugh gets sent pictures of himself in a compromising position and decides not to tell anyone before going to do something about it. In the end he gets killed, a nothing of a character with nothing to work with finally is taken out back and put down. Before that, we have to go back to what happened at the orgy, basically other than Ani killing that dude it's a big pile of nothing. There's now an APB on Ani and their supervisor gets killed, Ray gets in the car and sees it, so now there's an APB out on him too. Frank kills his guy Blake but he's fucked too, basically everyone's fucked. I thought this was an immense amount of overkill to the point of mostly being boring. The mayor and his son are supposed to be real important but we hardly see them. I was ready for this to be over right about now.

OMEGA STATION

Unfortunately there was still a really bad 90 minute episode remaining and I slogged my way through it. There's nothing good I can say about this other than the way Ray's story concludes. That part is good. He finally finds happiness and fucks someone and gets them pregnant, but it's all over for him. It's all over even though his son is actually his son, even though they tried to push that red headed stepson thing into the ground. It was a red herring. Other than Ray I thought this episode was bad beyond words. I don't care who killed Caspere after suffering through eight hours of this. Neither did anyone else it seems. The stuff they made Rachel McAdams do in this episode made me laugh hard. There is no actor who should have to be put through this. Eventually the viewer should come to a realization that this show wasn't about murder, it was about MEN. I cracked up so hard when things were turned around in the media to make Ray look like a nutjob. I also liked seeing Frank die, he was a horrible character as well and I'm glad to see him go. In the end, Ani and Frank's wife wind up in Venezuela and I just don't care.

I think this season failed for a lot of reasons. The story was never going to work, but equally problematic were Woodrugh and Frank. Woodrugh being an absolute nothing is a huge problem for a TV show with only 8 episodes. They also tried to recapture the magic of Rust Cohle through Vince Vaughn and that was also not going to work. It's not just that Vaughn was bad, he was given horrendous lines too. That card dealer philosophy shit don't work for me, but the writing was also such that you know they thought all these lines were home runs and...they just weren't. Instead this is like Little Carmine and Rust combined together into one character.

Season Rating: 3/10. When it comes to TV I'm going to establish a ratings scale that assumes almost every show I watch is good, so instead of giving everything the same rating I'm going to scale it. This was bad television but it could have been much worse. And now I will depart with some lines that were made up by other people (I copied them), but you could easily see Frank having said them

"Some people say it's not the size of the boat but rather the motion of the ocean. Well guess what, Ray? I can't even swim. Never even had a bath."

"When I was younger, my uncle Rick took me to the batting cages every two weeks or so. I feel like I'm in the batting cages now, but someone's locked me in the cage and taken my bat. The only question left is, do I catch the balls, or do I dodge them? It's taken me years to answer that question, Ray. And now, the balls are coming from every direction"

"That was never your onus to brook. But you wanted to own it. You're walking around with this chip on your shoulder, like it's the size of the goddamn world and I rolled it up there. Nobody asked you to be Atlas, Ray. Now you want to shirk your duty to me? Ten years later? I don't do returns on account of buyer's remorse."

"Life's a pinata. Caspere knew this. Sometimes you're the one swinging the bat, and sometimes you're the one left scrambling for the last pieces of candy. And look at my teeth. Think I ever had a cavity? No - I was never scrambling for the candy. I was always swinging the bat."

"Ever hear of the kid who cried wolf, Ray? I'm the wolf, but nobody's crying for me. I'm the one who's howling, and I'm howling at the moon. But Apollo 11 hasn't even taken off yet."

"I've never lost my cool, Ray. Not even when my fucking fridge was stolen."

 

[909]

SEASON 3

THE GREAT WAR AND MODERN MEMORY

This is way more like it. First of all there's actual talent behind the camera directing it (Jeremy Saulnier). Second of all we are back to the tried and true ways of True Detective. We have time jumps. We have a case about missing kids. The setup is as such. Wayne Hays (Mahershala Ali) and Roland West (Stephen Dorff) are detectives in 1980. Wayne is talking about the case with prosecutors in 1990. Wayne is talking about the case on something like a Dateline episode in 2015. This is ideal. It's like in the first season where some shit will get leaked to you through the time jumps, but you ain't gonna know more than you should. The case is that two kids seemingly do or don't get kidnapped. Maybe they ran off, maybe their uncle who stayed in their house for a few months was a fucking pervert, maybe these teenagers who drink a lot fucked around with these kids, maybe this weird Indian guy who digs through trash in the area pulled some shit. But this is a lot more like the first season even though in the first season, there really aren't any leads on the case. So we're moving faster. At the end of the episode we see Wayne find the boy dead. He's posed for some reason, and I'm sure we'll get around to that. The girl is nowhere to be found. The Wayne in 2015 is having serious memory problems, he's old and nearing dementia. The Wayne in 1990 hears some shit that he never thought he'd hear about the girl, and he doesn't know how to take it. So where does all this go? We'll see, but this is a vast improvement on the second season.

 

[909]

KISS TOMORROW GOODBYE

Alright this season is really fucking good. I would have waited longer than this episode to say that but I finished the fourth too. There are now suspects. One is Ted Lagrange, a noted pervert. That one doesn't go anywhere though. I imagine we won't see him again after the stuff the detectives said to him. You know one thing I like here? The detectives aren't quite intellectual equals but there's no noted difference between Hays and West the way there was one between Rust and Marty. So because of this you don't get one guy stumbling upon leads by himself or carrying the conversation. I like it this way even though the show is moreso about Hays than West. The second suspect is played by Michael Greyeyes. Just like Hays, he's a Vietnam vet, but he had a much harder time letting the war go. They interrogate him and it doesn't go that well, but they leave him be. Town ain't gonna let him be though. I thought the FBI agents introduced here would have a bigger part to play in the story, but they don't. So it's clear this case did not end properly in 1980 or 1990. I wonder what happened.

THE BIG NEVER

Another thing I like here is that by the time 1990 comes around, Hays has been completely consumed and derailed by the case. He should have a happy home life, maybe he did before 1990 came, but as soon as the case resurfaces he is unmoored. What is his marriage like, how did they progress from being around the case to being married, what is it like to be married to someone who wrote books about a case you feel is unresolved? There are clues here as to why this case is unresolved even though we don't know who they arrested and pinned everything on. You see it turns out the Purcell kids were lying about going to the neighbors house. Also, in the baby book, Will's first communion picture is taken in the same manner as his pose upon death. Someone, somewhere, knows something and it all ties back to whatever church that happened at. And they never figured it out. Hays wound up working at some desk somewhere doing nothing. His wife gets more details about the case than he can. We are also introduced to a thread about a new brown car driven by an interracial couple. In 2015 Hays is asked why he never followed up on this and he has no answer. But we see him asking someone about it. What if they took it out of the public record for a reason? Should also mention here that West got promoted while Hays did not. And there could be a lot of reasons for that too. There's more I could say but I should stop.

THE HOUR AND THE DAY

Some of the talk in these episodes made me think the Yellow King could return, but so far it's just that, a bunch of talk. Like you know how I said the murderer had to come from a church? Well, it's a Catholic church so it isn't gonna be exactly what I was hoping for, but we're going back to the same themes. We also find out where the dolls originated from and it's a classically racist person. She says she sold dolls to a black man with a dead eye, and the detectives find someone matching the description, but it isn't him. He doesn't go to the same church, and it just isn't him end of story. We do get another interesting wrinkle where maybe Lucy Purcell knows some shit. She sure doesn't like seeing Amelia, and you know, maybe. We already know the character overdoses in the future. We don't know what happens to Hays marriage though, even though we see signs of it breaking. I don't want to know what happened but it's really tempting to read spoilers. The show is good enough to want to do so. Great cliffhanger ending too.

 

[909]

IF YOU HAVE GHOSTS

I see that this season does have a fair share of detractors, but this episode hits me hard. It went straight into me. Of course I'm referring to the last 10-15 minutes with Roland and Wayne in the present day, but this episode is great before that and I'm not sure why people complain so much about a show being slow. This was great. We learn here that when Woodard went crazy and blew up the rednecks, he went full blown suicide by cop. Someone placed a backpack under his porch and our detectives realize that in the 90s, but at the time this turned into Woodard being posthumously convicted. And we learn that Wayne is so bitter in 90 because he was forced to kill Woodard. Wayne has become the kind of thing he despises, he knows it too. His wife knows it and takes the brunt of his anger. What if his wife never died, what if she left him and he can't remember? There are lots of great touches here, and I really do mean lots.

The episode is good enough I'm not done yet. Wayne doesn't read his wife's book until the present, she might be more onto shit and with it than he was, but he was so awful that they could never talk about the subject. He does have a few fair points but I don't know how to examine the situation. How can you be married to someone that relives the worst moment of your life over and over again? I don't know man. The ending of this episode is fucking amazing. I thought Roland might be dead because they slow rolled that reveal for so long. Except he's not. Not only is he not dead, but these two did some shit they don't want anyone to hear about. At least Wayne still remembers that and not to mention it. But the way Wayne sees it the case is still undone. And maybe Roland will help his old ass investigate it. Or maybe he won't. I can think of numerous characters these two might have put in the ground because the investigation wasn't going to their liking. The remit for their investigation in 90 is something that is completely impossible to do the right way. We'll see.

 

[909]

HUNTERS IN THE DARK

Alright, this episode wasn't as good as some of the others, but we got progression of the case and the funny reveal that Wayne's son was sleeping with the producer of the documentary. I figured that out a long time ago but it was nice to see it confirmed. I think maybe this episode went too far in opening up possibilities for the last two. The present scenario also has very little of Wayne and Roland together, the only time they came together I thought Wayne might shoot him because he couldn't remember that Roland was already there. Scoot McNairy does a great acting job here as the detectives center their investigation around Tom, but only because they're ordered to do so. They don't find anything but they give Tom the interrogation of a lifetime. This leads to Dan O'Brien getting in contact with the detectives and demanding some money, then we end the episode with us going back to the chicken factory. There are a lot of chicken factories in Arkansas FWIW. My grandma's husband worked at one. But maybe this chicken magnate money was spent on buying Julie Purcell away from her mother, maybe Tom ain't even Julie's father, maybe she wasn't being held prisoner as much as I thought, the fact is that we don't know. But we do know the ex-cop who "disappeared" is seen in a room with Tom about to attack him. Like I said, good episode but I think we're getting to the point we need some true revelations up in here.

 

[909]

THE FINAL COUNTRY

That shit I said about needing revelations? Well, there's quite a lot in this episode so I got exactly what I wanted. There's a moment at the start of the episode where the Wayne of around 2000 takes his daughter off to college. In this moment you just know that he did something heinous, you can tell that he wasn't a cop anymore because it would have come up in their conversation, and right then I knew that this episode was going to give me what I wanted. They did. The mystery is almost entirely revealed here. The former highway patrol guy has been ensuring that the case is not solved properly. He kills Tom and leaves him in Devil's Den so everyone can see it, he also writes a suicide note that's obviously a fake. At least, that's how Wayne and Roland see it. Their colleagues do not. Fuck their colleagues. The Miss Isabel shit here is a little more than convenient and I'd call it bad storytelling, but the rest of the episode is enthralling. The TV chick is so close to the truth but Wayne can't give her the satisfaction of everything he knows, and there's still a few details that he doesn't. He can't tell her everything he knows because he and Roland murdered the highway patrol guy. This loser was going around Arkansas killing everyone and someone had to set that shit straight. So they did. I do like that the missing thread is the man with one eye, they never found him even though Amelia was more onto him than everyone else was. It's like how in Twin Peaks the missing thread was the dude with one arm.

LOST AM FOUND

The last episode is a bit longer than the rest, but oddly enough it's the one that least needs to be. It is not packed with information the way some of the others were. I also have to admit the ending is a tad unsatisfying. We still don't know how Amelia died but we know that she didn't leave Wayne, which is good enough for me I suppose. Wayne also does not tell her what he did and she accepts that because he moves on (until TV producer lady shows up after Amelia's death). I did like seeing Wayne as head of campus security at University of Arkansas and Amelia teaching, but that's all we get of them at an advanced age. We also learn how Roland became a lieutenant and why Wayne had to go work as basically a secretary. Unfortunately we learn exactly what happened from the one eyed man and it kinda sucks. What doesn't suck is that Julie Purcell has pretty much blended into society after her escape and cannot be found. Wayne is careful not to say anything once he remembers/realizes who she is. It also doesn't suck that the Hoyt family patriarch is played by Michael Rooker. His scenes are brief but they're good. That's mostly how the season goes though and why it has value. The performance here are all very strong. Stephen Dorff's is of the greatest quality, but I see that he got no career boost from doing the show. His accent is a dead ass accurate Arkansas accent. If you've been there you can tell the slight difference between that and a general Southern accent. It's the cadence. His performance is almost as good as Matty M playing Rust Cohle, and that's what I'm going to remember from this season.

Season Rating: I said I was going to scale it, right? Good TV scale this is still an 8/10. The direction was really good this time around and the script was great. This also felt like a crime befitting of the attention given to it. Can't say that about the second season.

Tonight or tomorrow night I'm gonna start Hawkeye.