Classic Rock Songs that just fuckin' suck

[Sesquipedaliantique]

I can't stand most of what's played on classic rock stations.

 

[Brocklock]

Speaking of BTO, "Taking Care of Business" fucking blows.

I cut the first person who says "Blinded By the Light".

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Manfred Mann's Earth Band's version of "Blinded by The Light" (one that's always played) sucks and ruins Bruce Springsteen's less popular original (which isn't that great to begin with) by misunderstanding the word deuce as "douche".

I like "Takin' Care of Business" for some reason. It's nostalgia related as I remember a middle school friend playing it on acoustic guitar over and over again when we were in the middle of a wildly unsuccessful carwash fund raiser for our drama club on some Saturday in a Wal Mart parking lot.

 

[Precious Roy]

I can't stand most of what's played on classic rock stations.

of course Dad Rock would say that

 

[Precious Roy]

I like every song mentioned in this thread wtf

 

[Brocklock]

I like every song mentioned in this thread wtf

you are becoming a Dad Rock.

 

[Incandenza]

Not enough independent rock music on classic rock radio u kno

 

[Sesquipedaliantique]

I kind of felt that 'most' was a massive overstatement as soon as I hit Post but for clarification: we don't have quite the same regional radio culture that you Yanks do and the only classic rock station I was ever familiar with mostly played stuff that sounds like Van Halen or AC/DC

I can get down with Wings and Steely Dan and so on.

 

[Precious Roy]

take your big black cow and get out of here

 

[Sesquipedaliantique]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPV4bfO47Hw

 

[Gary]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kEDa6bXnA8

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

You suck, Gary.

 

[Gary]

You suck, Gary.

 

[Skywarp!]

Manfred Mann's Earth Band's version of "Blinded by The Light" (one that's always played) sucks and ruins Bruce Springsteen's less popular original (which isn't that great to begin with) by misunderstanding the word deuce as "douche".

I like "Takin' Care of Business" for some reason. It's nostalgia related as I remember a middle school friend playing it on acoustic guitar over and over again when we were in the middle of a wildly unsuccessful carwash fund raiser for our drama club on some Saturday in a Wal Mart parking lot.

I like Takin' Care of Business. I think because I realized how awesomely they've trolled America with that song. I've often heard that song in a traffic jam that ballooned my commute home to an hour, and then had these guys laughing at all the 9-to-5ers by relating that their lifestyle affords them to "work hard at nothin' all day." That's expert-level trolling that's been happening on the FM dial with captive audiences for decades!

 

[Skywarp!]

15-20 years ago. Maybe even 10, "American Pie" would always be in the Top 5 whenever an oldies/classics station would have a Labor Day Weekend "500 Greatest Songs of All Time" countdown. I'm just glad it's not widely accepted as one of the greatest songs of all time anymore.

Thing is I don't mind Don MacLean's other hits. Probably because I hear them one-ten thousandth as much as I hear "American Pie" but I think "Vincent" is a p.good song.. A fun fact about "Vincent" is that it was one of Tupac's favorite songs.

Don MacLean lives in Maine and I was way too happy that he got arrested for a DUI like five years ago.

In MacLean's defense, I think he hates the song now, too. Someone told me of a show he did at a college campus where he opened by saying, "I'm going to play American Pie first, so those of you that came just to hear that song can leave when it's done." It took the audience aback, apparently.

I've heard he also acts like an miserable asshole when he plays it too--stopping the song in the middle to tune his guitar and stuff like that.

If the author can't stand it, it really must be the worst song of all time.

 

[Skywarp!]

American Pie could be a good jumping point to another thread--songs where Weird Al's parody is preferred to the source material. I guess that's like 90% of them, though.

 

[Red Baron]

Pour Some Sugar On Me might be worse than American Pie.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Who the eff would compare those two songs??? Both awful, sure but incredibly different senses. Like saying stepping through a rusty nail is worse than eating at Cici's.

"Pour Some Sugar On Me" is bad but "Pour Some Sugar On Me" ripoffs are even worse.
http://youtu.be/590dLC1oQmE

I also begrudgingly don't hate "Pour Some Sugar On Me" because it was the one non Top 40/hip hop song played at my high school dances. Weird thing is I went to high school from '03 to '07. I'm guessing the guy they hired to DJ these was just a Def Leppard fan and tried to sneak in one of his faves or something.

 

[Byron The Bulb]

Head "Piano Man" on the sirius classic rock station today and, man, bad song. So bad. Perhaps the worst.

 

[Mickey Massuco]

Pour Some Sugar On Me might be worse than American Pie.

"Pour Some Sugar On Me" is bad

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Head "Piano Man" on the sirius classic rock station today and, man, bad song. So bad. Perhaps the worst.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

"Piano Man" is in the category as "Sweet Caroline" and "Brown Eyed Girl" of blatantly inoffensive, average to slightly above average songs that have been overplayed to death.

Not Worst Song Ever bad but why the hell is it one of the most played songs of all time?

 

[Mattdotcom]

No, Piano Man is awful and Corey Lazurus responding to byron with a gif from The Wire just proves him all the more correct

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Laz being a fan of "Piano Man" might be the biggest surprise of 2014 at TRTSM.

Also I had an old co-worker who insisted Billy Joel played at the Old Port Tavern here in Portland and that the song was about the bar. I didn't want to correct him even though I've heard interviews with Billy Joel where he said it was about a piano lounge he played in L.A. after his first album flopped. Respect your elders and whatnot.

I'm sure every male between the ages of 50 and 65 that lives in North America claims that "Piano Man" written about an old bar in their hometown.

 

[CanadianGuitarist]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXWvKDSwvls

Eight minutes long.

Aaron Hill used this song to come to the plate when he played in Toronto. He looks exactly like my buddy Nick. That's not enough to save the song. It's okay, I guess, but it doesn't need to be fucking eight minutes.

Fake edit: Joe Walsh played this song on an episode of The Drew Carey show while Drew was in a coma - the exact fucking episode the show jumped the shark. Fuck a whole bunch of Life's Been Good.

Bingo, by the way, was called with "Rock n Roll All Nite".

Fuck Foghat's Slow Ride with a cactus dildo, while we're at it.

Real edit: The city of Boston is home to my most-hated hockey team, my second-most hated baseball team, a top-five for my most-hated football team, and the most annoying dialect in the history of spoken language. Therefore, "More Than A Feeling" is way behind in the count through no direct fault of its own. Taking that out of the equation, THE SONG STILL FUCKING SUCKS!`

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

"More Than A Feeling" rules, hoser. Not quite enough to justify me spending $35 to see Boston at the Bangor Waterfront Pavilion with Cheap Trick the day before 4th of July this year but man, I've thought about. I don't care if it's one original member (who's up there with Gene Simmons and Mike Love for biggest assholes in rock music) and a bunch of ringers. Seems like it'd be fun!

 

[alkeiper]

Eric Clapton can fall off a cliff out of a hotel.

Also, Hey Jude.

 

[Red Baron]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3sMjm9Eloo

 

[Gary]

"Old Time Rock n Roll" is musical cancer. Everything about it makes me think of baby boomers arrhythmically dancing or going on about how rock will never die or whatever.

 

[Byron The Bulb]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3sMjm9Eloo

How dare you