I Just Watched... (Movies/TV/DVD)

[RedJed]

Nefarious: I was originally going to put this in the horror thread, but oof. This was such a mis-marketed film to the max. Trailer I saw in front of other horror gave the impression it was a straight up horror, but this was far from it. Instead it was an extremely heavy-handed neo conservative christian film in many ways, apparently done by the same folks who did Gods Not Dead (is this the film production company that Kirk Cameron is a part of?). Needless to say, I did not enjoy this and it kinda even offended me in parts.

The story is pretty basic, boring, etc. An inmate who is on the verge of being electrocuted on death row is meeting with a athiest councelor who's determining if the inmate is actually insane or not. The whole gist of it is that this inmate is demon possessed apparently. The majority of the film consists of these two characters getting into theology extensively, which then delves (and devalues itself) into the typical christian conservative hot button topics. Abortion, capital punishment, and alot of not so subtle digs at movies and media desentitizing everyone blah blah blah. The only thing shockingly not covered was gun control, but rest assured that is on it's way with a bizzare trailer before this film started, called "The Last Patriot" which seems like an orgy of gun toting power hungry tones by this same studio.

Easily the most offensively bad and strange offshoot of a "horror" I've perhaps ever seen.

 

[Youth N Asia]

Keeping a running total of the movies I’m watching for the first time this year. I have scores as well with small write ups, but that’s too much to list here. This is just personal enjoyment for me. I get that Crimes of the Future is some great blah blah, but it just didn’t hit for me.

Some of these I would have never watched. Only viewed a couple for the We Hate Movies podcast.


2023 first time viewer rankings
1. The Nice Guys (2016)
2. The Menu (2022)
3. The Innkeepers (2012)
4. Near Dark (1987)
5. X (2022)
6. The Witch (2015)
7. Knock at the Cabin (2023)
8. M3GAN (2023)
9. My Bloody Valentine (1981)
10. Don’t Worry Darling (2022)
11. Smile (2022)
12. Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)
13. Crimes of the Future (2022)
14. Deadstream (2022)
15. Uncharted (2022)
16. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
17. Moonfall (2022)

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

2019's VFW is pure retrogrind fun largely held up by the who's who of character actors that make up its cast. Stephen Lang, William Sadler, Martin Kove, Fred Williamson, George Wendt, and David Patrick Kelly play veterans of Vietnam (and one from Korea) that call rundown VFW Post 2494 their home, and gather to celebrate bartender Fred's (Lang) birthday. Unfortunately, Liz (Sierra McCormack) has decided to steal the entire stash of dealer Boz (Travis Hammer) and has taken refuge in Post 2494. What follows is a b-grade splatterfest that takes cues from Assault on Precinct 13 aplenty, with a handful of moments that would've floundered without Lang's presence and abilities.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Sick (2022] is a lot like Hush in that it perfectly identifies how to make a slasher flick work in the modern era. Taking place during the early days of the COVID pandemic and quarantining craze, three college kids locking themselves in at one's parents' summer home are stalked by a masked killer. This one has little details that make it work, like characters actually needing to charge their damn cell phones and direction that keeps the pace going forward while dropping hints here and there as to the killer's motives. The studios fucked up by not begging Kevin Williamson to continue helming the Scream series if this is what he's capable of in middle age. 7/10

Violent Night (2022) is a beautifully self-aware cheesefest that knows you're here for the gimmick of "Santa Claus vs. the Mercenaries" and delivers with gusto. David Harbour is the flipside of the coin for great modern Santas, with Kurt Russell via Christmas Chronicles on the other side. The Home Alone pastiche is a work of vicious beauty. 7/10

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Re-watched Heat (1995). Great cast, a really good movie. Definitely could've been trimmed down and a lot tighter with several scenes (a couple of the early family scenes in the first half, a scene outdoors between DeNiro & his love interest at the end that just repeated almost verbatim the same plot element of another scene between them near the end, Natalie Portman's scene towards the end) feeling like they could've been left on the cutting room floor without missing much to the movie itself.

7/10. With some better editing and a tighter run time I'd have bumped this up to an 8.

 

[RedJed]

Blackberry: Really enjoyed this one. It felt almost like Social Network meets Glengary Glen Ross and then mashes it all up in a 90s nostalgia wave. Glenn Howerton absolutely nailed it in the role he portrayed, coming off both absolutely cutthroat and aggressive as a mofo, yet tons of comedic balance as well. This was such a surprising excellent narrative, as I expected this movie to drag given the what I expected to be drab source material. It ended up being anything but drab. Now I want to see a doc on the subject asap.

Hypnotic: A very outside the box story that at times, really left me confused where it was heading and what everything meant, but some things shook out....some did not. Regardless, this was a wild ride of a kinda mindbender of a story. Probably more misses than hits overall, but still a fun turn your brain off type of sci-fi stuff masked as an action thriller. Ben Affleck though was this monotone robot in this from start to finish. It just came off weird in the rest of the wild twists and turns that were running at breakneck speed in that aspect.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

I See You (2019) was a splendid little discovery, for sure. There's a lot going on, to the point where explaining it would come off as word salad, but the end result is so well crafted that I need to seek out more work by director Adam Randall, who handled the film, and its abrupt shift in tone halfway through, masterfully. As to the story itself, a married couple (Helen Hunt and Jon Tenney) are in the midst of estrangement following the wife's affair, all while the husband (a local cop) investigates a string of child kidnappings that match the MO of a convicted killer from 15 years prior.

There is so much tension in the first half, which plays as an above average modern horror flick (Randall clearly blends some of the best 70s elements with a James Wan-like approach), that the slight tonal shift halfway in feels, at first, like a disappointment...but then it becomes compelling in its own right.

Also of note is the performance of Judah Lewis (Summer of '84, The Babysitter), who is an incredibly believable child of impending divorce, and has carved his name out in genre cinema.

6.5/10

Fuck it, I'm adding as brief a synopsis as I can in the spoilers.

Spoiler

It starts with 10 year old Justin Whitter riding his bike on a path in the woods and then flying off of it through some unseen force. Jackie Harper and her husband, Det. Greg Harper, are dealing with the fallout of her affair, with their son Connor caught in all of it. Strange occurrences keep happening throughout the house, objects being moved or going missing, and hushed conversations can be heard. Meanwhile, Det. Harper investigates the disappearance with his partner, Det. Spitzky, which mirrors the MO of a convicted child killer from 15 years ago. During this, they talk to one of the only known survivors, who has a PTSD breakdown and is unable to give them any information.

Things reach a fever pitch when Jackie's lover, Todd, arrives at the house, and dies in what initially looks like an accident, but could be traced back to their son Connor. While the Harpers dispose of the body to protect their son, Connor is attacked by a home intruder. Det. Harper looks to find the intruder as Jackie rushes Connor to the hospital, and is then attacked himself.

CUT TO...

Mindy and Alec are "phrogging," a type of nomadic homeless lifestyle where they sneak into people's homes (unbeknownst to the owners/residents) and hide out for a few days. Alec has picked this house personally for his first phrogging experience, and it's revealed that all of the strange happenings throughout the house, including the assault on Connor and initial injuring of Todd, were from Alec.

As more of the story begins to zipper in, we find out that Det. Harper was the child killer the whole time, killed Todd himself, and that Alec was the other known survivor from years ago just before he kills Det. Harper himself.

 

[strummer]

Was watching Friday the 13th Part 5 and the hillbilly mother and son characters have to be the most wtf characters in the entire franchise. Even more so than the dimwitted storekeepers from the beginning of part 3. The screaming dialogue and random cursing make them the most 1985 characters of all time.

Also this movie was released one week before the first Wrestlemania

 

[Youth N Asia]

That blade couldn’t come quickly enough during the motorcycle riding screaming/crying scene. It was just so bad.

 

[Gary]

Two revisits this week in "Targets" and "Trouble Every Day". Both are worth watching IMO ("Trouble" can be a difficult watch though), but "Targets" is such an awesome film in particular, and Criterion giving it a Blu release makes me all kinds of happy. Also, I can't help but wonder if this inspired "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood"

Was watching Friday the 13th Part 5 and the hillbilly mother and son characters have to be the most wtf characters in the entire franchise. Even more so than the dimwitted storekeepers from the beginning of part 3. The screaming dialogue and random cursing make them the most 1985 characters of all time.

Also this movie was released one week before the first Wrestlemania

I will admit to liking all kinds of dumb movies, but the fact this movie has defenders...doesn't surprise me, because almost every movie has its fans, but even then it's just such a terrible movie. Especially the scene where one character is trying to shit and won't shut the hell up about enchiladas.

 

[Brocklock]

I have a soft spot for part 5 and I can't explain why. I even found some of the dialogue from the hillbillies amusing and the enchilada shitting whilst singing a song scene is hilarious. Maybe because it's one of the first in the series I saw. It's definitely a bad movie, but some of the performances and script decisions are so outrageous that I kind of find it fun.

I also have a soft spot for Jason Goes To Hell tbh. The coroner roaring like a lion after eating Jason's heart is absolutely hilarious. I've even sort of come around on the remake which is average, but has some cool moments.

The only movies in the series I can't stand are Takes Manhattan and Jason X. I want to love Jason X, but the characters are obnoxious and their snarky dialogue is insufferable.

 

[Gary]

"Jason Takes Manhattan" is my least favorite one, though I will always have a soft spot for "Jason X"

 

[Youth N Asia]

The only movies in the series I can't stand are Takes Manhattan and Jason X. I want to love Jason X, but the characters are obnoxious and their snarky dialogue is insufferable.

Couldn’t agree more about X. Too many cuties quips while staring death in the face. Shame because there’s some good in there.

5 was the first Friday movie I saw. I knew of Jason. But hadn’t seen any before that one. So it’ll always have a place in my heart. I also have a tendency to whisper sing Demon’s “ohhh baby” song to myself when I’m clench-walking to a restroom.

 

[Fall of Epic]

Jason Goes to Hell has an interesting concept (and I loved the Evil Dead reference when I was a bit younger, now I just roll my eyes) but it misses on so many levels. I actually have a soft spot for Manhattan (NYC bias) and Jason X is HILARIOUS. The sleeping bag scene is so absurd, you can't help but love it.

 

[Gary]

Jason Goes to Hell has an interesting concept (and I loved the Evil Dead reference when I was a bit younger, now I just roll my eyes) but it misses on so many levels. I actually have a soft spot for Manhattan (NYC bias) and Jason X is HILARIOUS. The sleeping bag scene is so absurd, you can't help but love it.

"WE LOVE PRE MARITAL SEX !!!"

"Jason Goes to Hell" is worth seeing in that it's among other things, the weirdest one in the franchise. It's not good, but I'd rather someone try and fail then not try at all.

 

[Brocklock]

Manhattan just drags and the mpaa editing all the kills makes it feel boring. It's the longest movie of the series and it lacks the fun of the others. Kane Hodder is good and I like the boxer character, but that's about it.

 

[strummer]

The ending sequence in 4 still gives me chills. Just great horror suspense filmmaking. 2 might have even worse acting than 5 but overall I have softened on 2 and actually kind of like it. It does have STU CHARNO.

Also Manhattan sucked because they couldn't make Vancouver look like NYC so most of the movie takes place on the boat. Also the scene where the high school girl seduces the principal is so bad that it's maybe one the better scenes in that one.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Especially the scene where one character is trying to shit and won't shut the hell up about enchiladas.

You show some goddamn respect to Miguel A Nuñez Jr in this house, sir!

EDIT: To chime in with something other than a defense of the original ROTLD cast members...

-5 was my favorite when I first got into horror and watched the entire series because I really appreciated the end reveal, but all later viewings have made it stand out as the worst of the Paramount era.
-JGTH has some great ideas (and gave us the fun FvJvA comics), but it's a key point in the early 90s "what the fuck are we doing" horror slump.
-Manhattan was the first one I'd ever seen in full (my uncle worked in video distribution for a while, so I have a screener VHS somewhere in storage) and has my favorite Hodder performance of the series, but yeah. It's shit.
-2 is my favorite, all because of the wheelchair kill.

 

[Youth N Asia]

Clerks III, 2022 - 5/10

-ehh. Wanted to like this one a lot. Just didn’t get there. Kinda felt like Kevin was sitting with me on the couch; repeatedly elbow nudging me, and asking “you catch that reference? Huh? How about that one?” Brian O'Halloran isn’t near good enough of an actor to pull off the scenes they gave him. Every joke with Elias just hit flat for me. Such a bummer.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) might not be the kind of somewhat self-serious schlockfest adventurer I may have really wanted, but it was definitely the kind of blockbuster bait that it needed to be. Chris Pine and Hugh Grant are marvelous here, and Michelle Rodriguez...is Michelle Rodriguez, so at least they gave her the barbarian that clearly used INT/CHA as dump stats to really fit her personality.

Major win? NOT DEVOLVING INTO A CGI BRAWL AT THE END. I cannot stress how pleased I was that this felt like a smaller story in a vast world.

7.5/10

 

[RedJed]

"WE LOVE PRE MARITAL SEX !!!"

"Jason Goes to Hell" is worth seeing in that it's among other things, the weirdest one in the franchise. It's not good, but I'd rather someone try and fail then not try at all.

There is supposedly a very lengthy doc on everytihng about JGTH that Marcus and others are working on.....I think the film itself takes a backdrop to all the behind the scenes buildup of it, etc. Really looking for it whenever they finish it up.

 

[Fall of Epic]

The Freddy tease at the end of JGTH is a nice touch as well. I wish that was followed up on that more timely instead of waiting 10 years for that movie. What held that up anyway? Studio drama?

 

[RedJed]

The Freddy tease at the end of JGTH is a nice touch as well. I wish that was followed up on that more timely instead of waiting 10 years for that movie. What held that up anyway? Studio drama?

Oh boy, where to start with that. In a nutshell, yes......both properties were so tight guarded by New Line that they couldnt figure out a direction to go with it and there was a long standing issue of who exactly will take over this idea, be trusted with it, etc. Tons of scripts came through and New Line rejected over and over. I think maybe there was some legalities then on who from the Friday side (Cuttingham, etc) would be involved and in what level versus how big of a role Robert Shaye also would have. The tease in JTGH wasn't even supposed to be a full on teaser that the film was coming.....more that its been through development hell in the past. It was more a thrown together nod for shits and giggles, similar to the Evil Dead nods at the end of the film with the necronomicon and the sword. At one point Friday part 7 was supposed to be FvJ as an example.

There is a really good book on everything Freddy vs Jason that breaks it down tenfold. All the development on the idea before and after JGTH.

Amazon.com: Slash of the Titans: The Road to Freddy vs Jason: 9780692033494: McNeill, Dustin: Books

Amazon.com: Slash of the Titans: The Road to Freddy vs Jason: 9780692033494: McNeill, Dustin: Books

www.amazon.com

 

[SFH]

I wouldn't recommend binge watching A Small Light on Hulu and instead try to space the episodes out. It's the story of Miep Gies, the woman that coordinated the hiding of the Frank family in Amsterdam. It does a lovely job of showing what a wonderful personality she was while being heroic in the face of such horror. There are some genuinely sweet and light moments between the characters but at the end of the day, it's hindered by the knowledge of what we all know happens at the end of the story.

I've approached the culmination of each episode the way a lot of people approach horror movies; watch something light to diffuse my emotions. There are points in episodes where Miep is so quirky and silly that I almost forget this is a drama set during the most horrible thing ever or I do remember and wonder, "is this appropriate?" And before I can decide, there's always some narrative shift that brings the gravity of their situation into focus.

I also extend props to the creators for acknowledging that there is some creative and dramatic liberties taken. I spent a great deal of my life studying history recreationally and also academically. This time period always held my attention the most. So, I think I would be inclined to pick things apart, but they pump the brakes on that in the opening credits. It's based on real shit, but they're still beholden to a network and advertisers. Focus on the lesson of the story, not nitpick the details.

It slips my mind because her English is so perfect and she hides her accent, one of our close friends is Dutch born and takes the liberation day celebrations very seriously. She's grateful that this show examines what was going on outside of the annex in the time of her grandparents. She's not Jewish, but her people were a lot like the good guys in this series. Anyway, friend saw me praising this show on social media and it allowed her to share some of the stories from her grandmother.

I recommend this show, just pace yourself.

 

[cobainwasmurdered]

"Silo" on Apple TV is really good so far. Apple seems to have a number of fun sci-fi or sci-fi adjacent shows.

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Finally watched Violent Night. Very entertaining with David Harbor being great as Santa and John Leguizamo making a solid bad guy. Loved the

Spoiler

Home Alone

homage too.

 

[Brocklock]

Blackberry is probably my movie of the year so far. Wasn't expecting the intensity of it. I was a little leary of the two hour runtime, but they maintained the intense feeling the entire time. Glenn Howerton, was in a lot of ways Business Man Dennis, but who cares he was excellent and deserves the hype he is getting. His character carried the movie during the first half.

Jay Baruchel impressed me as well playing a more subtle and nuanced character. Loved all the familiar faces that popped up like Saul Rubinek, Cary Elwes, and Michael Ironside. The soundtrack was also incredible and diverse. Slint and MC Hammer on the same soundtrack is wild.

My only complaint is the costuming and wig on Baruchel in the third act looked really goofy and took me out of it a little.

8.5/10

 

[Youth N Asia]

edit. Nothing here.

 

[Fall of Epic]

Blackberry takes a bit to get going but becomes very engaging by the 30-45 minute mark. Both Baruchel and Howerton were great and I loved seeing Michael Ironside pop up. Also shout out to the guy who played Jim's assistant (Degrassi alum).

 

[RedJed]

Sanctuary: This was maybe the weirdest most subversive and cynically hilarious movie of the year, maybe this decade. I can't really compare it to anything, its so uniquely different and fucked up (and I mean that on a positive note). Basic premise is a paid dominatrix rendevous with a high end client, both have some serious issues. This is kinda sorta a love story at its' core, but it takes awhile to get there. Well worth checking out if you're into strange off the grain stuff that feels more like a theater stage play than an actual film.