Let's Play: Lagoon (SNES)

[Smues]

I know next to nothing about this game so I'm going in blind. And sober. But I've got the booze ready and am just about ready to get started. I've got an audience to entertain damnit, and let's meet that audience.

In the corner is lights up and talks USB powered Yoda, that for some reason I still don't know my dad bought me for Christmas.
Any comments on this Yoda?

Do or do not, there is no try. Shitty games are why you fail.

Ok......next in the luxery box (USB harddrive) are some Skylanders, which my wife is hopelessly addicted to. Damn you toy/video game company.

So much money wasted, so much...anyway. Lastly up in the cheap seats by the Nvidia 3d glasses are Crow and Tom. Say hi guys.

Bite us

Will do! My dog Leo and my cat Keyboard are also in the apartment, but they're avoiding me out of shame I think, so they're not in the audience right now. Time to get started I guess, if this game hurts me I'm blaming you Flik! I seek you out, I will find you, and I will troll you.

Wish me luck.

 

[Smues]

Well I intended to record some video but Fraps has decided to stop working. Fuck.

 

[Smues]

WAIT I THINK I GOT IT. Ok, now to actually start this thing.

 

[Smues]

This game so far: walk around for awhile before figuring out I have to talk to the mayor. Go to the Mayor's house, find out he's in the temple where I just fucking was. Go there, talk to him, jump cut to being outside of town and being told to go talk to the priest, who tells you to talk to the mayor. BOTH OF THEM I WAS TALKING TO BEFORE WE CUT OUTSIDE OF TOWN. WHY????

 

[Smues]

I haven't gotten to any combat yet and this game is annoying me.

For a place of faith she sure is bitchy.

And then this happened

Literally PUT THESE ON and then he gives you gold. How do I equip 300 gold pieces?

Sorry about the Sound Ch enabled and the FPS crap, trying to figure out a better way.

 

[Smues]

You can save anywhere even in dungeons? Fuck yes! I just died but I had saved shortly before so no real progress lost. Awesome.

We have to save Marcus Giles? Why he sucks. He had one great year and fell off a cliff.

The combat system blows, at least at this point. My attack radius is dog shit and the enemy AI appears to be just complete randomness, which makes hitting them a bitch when you can only move and attack in 4 directions. On the upside there's a niffy jump ability so I can hop around like I'm playing an MMO.

 

[Smues]

If every dungeon has the same music as this one I'm going to need the alcohol to kick in quickly.

 

[Smues]

First Cave - Lagoon
Gameplay into the first dungeon where I died. Thanks a lot for suggesting this one Flik!

I mean it's not awful, but it's not fun, that's for sure. And the combat is such a pain.

 

[Smues]

First dungeon = done. Leading Slowy McCrawl out of the cave was torture, thank god you didn't have to keep him protected or anything. And then he tells me that the bitchy place of faith lady would know about the locked door in the dungeon. I never found a locked door in the dungeon, oh god I have to go back don't I. CRY CRY CRY.

 

[Smues]

The first boss just totally Sandusky'd me. Either I'm way underleveled or this game is fucking hard.

 

[Smues]

Time to grind for a level or two and make some french fries.

 

[Smues]

Escorting Slowy McWALKFASTER through the cave.

 

[Smues]

1st boss

 

[Smues]

Level up and suddenly he goes from destroyed of worlds to pushover. Good game balance there!
Suck it boss

Up next is something called 'Elf Field'
Oh I hope it's the Keeblers.

 

[Smues]

Elf Field has new music! THANK YOU BUDDA, ALLAH, AND BILL COSBY!

 

[Smues]

OH SHIT SON IT'S THE GOD OF THUNDER. In pogElf form. I wonder if I get to form some Elf Avengers group. That'd be good. But if Loki is in this I swear...I'll...swear?

Umm...yay?

Ok, that sounds more usable. Magic time mother forkers.

 

[Smues]

Elf field

 

[Smues]

OH it's on now suckas, Thor just joined me. BRING THE THUNDA!

 

[Smues]

...he walks as slow as the last guy. Crap.

 

[Smues]

Ok never mind, Thor didn't need to be led. He may have walked slow but he walked right to our next objective. I LOVE YOU THOR.

Also equipped and used magic for the first time. Despite getting a staff of Earth, apparently that's not related to the spell, I equipped the crystal from the first boss and got a fireball spell. Neat.

 

[Smues]

Elf Village has a bunch of buildings with open doors, but you can't go in them. But others that look the same you can. CONSISTENCY PLEASE?

 

[Smues]

I hope I find Captain Elfmerica in the next town. RED SKULL WE COMIN FO YOU NIGGA

 

[Smues]

Wait no let's be logically here, there aren't likely to be two elf villages. Captain Gnomerica please.

 

[Smues]

Never mind, Thor sucks. After walking right to the item we needed he reverted to following, and I don't know where the fuck he is and I can't leave Elf Field without him. Stop Odinsleeping and come back here you son of an Odin.

 

[Smues]

It? I think you mean you found them, Mr. Elf. Considering I found three things that I need...to...do...something? I think it has something to do with the castle I found the last one at. But at least Thor left me alone. Hopefully if he comes back it's with Iron Dwarf.

 

[Smues]

Oh man the music in this dungeon is SO much better than the last one.

 

[Smues]

BetterMusic

 

[Smues]

I've died twice already in this dungeon. Shazbot.

 

[Smues]

Fuck this game.

 

[tekcop]

Aw. Your sword is so cute.