Movie theaters: Rants and raves

[wnyxmcneal]

We got money everytime bought a super combo, but even if you sold a lot, it never really amounted to anything much.

Our theatre was the first theatre to get Fahrenheit 9/11, so you can imagine how fun that was. The woman selling I didn't mourn for Reagan pins still cracks me up.

I got to meet Shawn from Boy Meets World

 

[Damaramu]

I've yet to be the only one in the theater. I've been one of like 5, but never just the only one, even when I've tried and gone at off times during the week.

I hate it when you're one of like 5-10 in the theater. Because there's always this one guy that decides because the theater isn't packed he can talk. I mean who cares if you disturb the other 9 people, there isn't enough people to make you shut up. And of course that person won't listen to you trying to shhh them. They just get angry like you're doing something wrong.
For the longest time this person was my dad, I quit going to movies that had been out for a while with my parents for that reason.
Now if he calls me up "Hey son, want to go to a movie?" I make sure it's during a crowded time.

 

[wnyxmcneal]

Nothing makes me madder then thinking I'm the only one in the theatre, and someone walks in as the movie started.

Fuck you, guy at Pink Panther or guy at Battle for Terra

 

[Damaramu]

Nothing makes me madder then thinking I'm the only one in the theatre, and someone walks in as the movie started.

Fuck you, guy at Pink Panther or guy at Battle for Terra

Is it weird when it's just you and one other person in a theater? I've never had that happen. If they sit behind you do you ever feel like they're watching you. Ever had one of them try to talk to you during the movie? Like "Hahaha, did you see that buddy!?"

 

[wnyxmcneal]

Not really. I always sit in the very back, which most people don't do.

The guy in Pink Panther 2 walked out.

When I saw Rendition, a guy walked in 5 minutes in. It killed me, since if ever a movie deserved to be mocked, it's that one.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

The somewhat mediocre theater in downtown Portland has $5 tickets all day on Tuesday. Even though the theater isn't that good, they usually have the best lineup of movies in town.

The theater where I go to college has a deal also on Tuesday, where you get two tickets, two medium sodas, a large popcorn, and a candy for $20.

 

[Big Beard Booty Daddy]

I don't care how bad it is to have to push those combo deal on people, there is no worse feeling than having to check people's bags for food. That's right, I worked at an independently owned theater and my boss made us check people's bags to make sure they weren't bringing any food into the theater. All this just so people could by the shit from the concession stand. And it wasn't just if people brought plastic bags, we checked backpacks and purses that were large enough to bring in food. It got even better when someone I knew came in and my boss would standing there and I had to check their bags. I can understand if someone brought in a whole pizza, we were next door to a pizza place, but to ask a woman to open her purse so we could check for food, that just didn't feel right.

 

[Black Lushus]

black people mocking the movie = funny

goofy teenage white boys mocking the movie = not funny

understand?

 

[SFH]

.

 

[daileyxplanet]

As a former usher at a one-theatre-town, I should probably have more stories than I do.

PG-13 Horror films have the worst behaving patrons. Usually had to kick out at least one group of kids each weekend. Another thing is kids trying to get into the Rated R films. If the box office doesn't do their job, the ushers could get the heat for it.

And outside food or drink, if it was visible we could tell them to get rid of it, but no invading privacy, that's just lunacy.

 

[wnyxmcneal]

I don't care how bad it is to have to push those combo deal on people, there is no worse feeling than having to check people's bags for food. That's right, I worked at an independently owned theater and my boss made us check people's bags to make sure they weren't bringing any food into the theater. All this just so people could by the shit from the concession stand. And it wasn't just if people brought plastic bags, we checked backpacks and purses that were large enough to bring in food. It got even better when someone I knew came in and my boss would standing there and I had to check their bags. I can understand if someone brought in a whole pizza, we were next door to a pizza place, but to ask a woman to open her purse so we could check for food, that just didn't feel right.

That's fucked up. I bring Wendy's to my local theatre all the time, since it's on the way and Wendy's is awesome. I always used to put it in my backpack.

Well when I went to see Confessions of a Shopaholic the manager loudly said something about me bringing food in when I walked in and was like: We're not going to let him do it this time.

So they made some poor soul search my backpack and I couldn't bring the food. Of course I have pockets in my shorts, I just put it there.

The next time I brought the backpack, and they were suspicious again (rightly so), So I had this conversation:

Ticket taker: Are you bringing in food?
Me: Absolutely not.
Ticket taker: Alright.

So now I just put the food in my lower pockets and I guess they know they're not searching there. I can understand wanting to stop me from bringing in food that smells (I'm sorry, patrons of Milk, I really thought I'd be the only one there or else I wouldn't have gotten a chipolte chicken sandwich), but it's fucking Wendy's. And the kicker is that I would never buy food from the concession stand anyway, so all they were doing was pissing off their most loyal customer, who goes there 2-3 times week.

 

[Chazz]

As of a few years ago, I never go to movie theaters on Fridays or Saturdays anymore. I just want to watch a movie, not get into fights with rude people because the theater's ushers don't do their jobs and monitor what's going on IN the theaters.(At least they don't in my neck of the woods.) A friend and I went to see "Quarantine" on a Monday night last fall. Including both of us, there were 4 people total. It was great.

 

[NoCalMike]

Any of you former theater employees have to confront patrons?

My best friend's brother was the assistant manager of the ticket booth and he said on a few occassions he had to break up sex in the bathroom. He said it felt pretty uncomfortable, cause he didn't wanna be a dick about it, so he kind of just walked into the bathroom, knocked on the stall and said "take that somewhere else guys"

He also, said there was usually little to no training on how to handle a lot of these situations, as most of the time if a situation arose, he was just told "go handle it" without any further instructions.

 

[mellow]

Any of you former theater employees have to confront patrons?

All the time. My favorites were the nondescript douchebags who would head back into the lobby to grab something from the concession stand without their ticket and then expect me to remember them (oftentimes on one of the busy nights where I've literally dealt with hundreds of people within a forty-five minute rush). I can't recall a time where I ever sent anybody back to purchase another ticket, but I can recall few instances where the patron understood that they were the ones who fucked up.

 

[Mattdotcom]

I've never worked at a movie theater, but I spent a summer at a Blockbuster. I know it's barely close enough to be related, but I don't know if I'll get another chance to share this tale of woe.

One night I was working the front by myself because the manager was busy laundering money or passing off bad checks or something when the phone rang. I began speaking to a level-headed gentleman about how he was having problems with a DVD he and his wife had rented. Apparently this was a reoccurring problem, and this was the third instance. Rather than stay on the phone with me, he put his wife on for some reason. I think she was the only one that was mad because the movie was Transamerica. Now, I've had trouble understanding people before, but this was something else altogether. English was definitely this woman's second or third language. She sounded European though I could never place the country. I'm pretty sure she just yelled at me for a minute before saying something about being on her way to the store.

Eventually she arrived and I figured out that she was mad because anytime they tried to play any DVD of Transamerica, there was video and no audio. I asked if the DVD player was properly installed, which was a huge mistake on my part to doubt these people. Rather than listen to more indecipherable yelling, I took the DVD and walked over to put it in the store's player. Of course, this wasn't part of Helga's plan. "Do you not believe me?!?" she asked angrily. "I just have to test it for the benefit of other customers, ma'am. I'd hate for this to be happening to others. I have to be concerned with everyone, not just you." I kept talking and pretending to be responsible long enough for the movie to start. The audio played just fine. I looked at her with a weary, victorious gleam in my eye. She was shocked.

"W-w-well, what is the problem with it not playing on my TV?"

"I don't know. Check your wires or something. It's not our problem, obviously."

"Do you think....this is a controversial movie with Christians....do you think that there is a satellite in space blocking it out so people can't see the movie?"

"Yes, ma'am. That's exactly what I think."

I never saw her again.

 

[sfaJack]

Any of you former theater employees have to confront patrons?

Yeah, but it was never anything major. Mostly stuff like people trying to sneak into a movie they didn't pay for or bring food in. My time at the theater was quite boring, really. A couple of highlights:

- One dude ate an entire Big Mac meal in about 60 seconds because I was taking tickets that day and told him he couldn't bring it in with him. I told him that I personally didn't care but I could get into a lot of shit if I let him do it so he just stepped aside and scarfed the whole thing down. It was an impressive display of gluttony.

- We had to confiscate a noisy toy ray gun from another guy. He was there to see Independence Day and apparently he thought it would be cool to play with it during the show. It took about 3 minutes for 5 people to complain about him.

- The biggest incident was when these couple of douchebag teenagers bought tickets, went to the back of the building where there were some 'exit only' doors, and proceeded to try and hold them open so 20 of their douchebag friends could sneak in. Myself and this one other usher caught them and told them to get the fuck out. Of course, they bowed up and started cussing us out and threatening to kick our asses...until one of the assistant managers and security guard came walking up and wondered what was going on. It was pathetic how quickly they all took off running outside.

 

[sfaJack]

As of a few years ago, I never go to movie theaters on Fridays or Saturdays anymore.

This. We generally only go to movies on the weekends, but I've got the wife (mostly) convinced that we should go to either the Friday morning shows (on Fridays we're off work) or to the after 8 p.m. showing on Sunday nights. ESPECIALLY with anything PG-13 or lower. I'm too far along in my march towards 'angry old man' status to deal with going to the movies otherwise.

 

[daileyxplanet]

I loved the opportunity to be stern to the teenage patrons, tryin' to scare them into cutting out the crap. I bet half of the are the kind who boss their parents around.

 

[Smues]

While I think concession prices tend to be ridiculous, I don't begrudge theaters for not allowing outside food. As mentioned above they don't make shit off of ticket sales and rely on food to make money. I think the greatest act of outside food smuggleage I ever saw was opening weekend to LOTR: The Two Towers. A group of fanboys each brought in a large quantity with them, so that as a group they had a virtual feast. Specifically I remember one fat dude somehow sneaking a cube of Mountain dew in under his trench coat. I was impressed.

As for rowdy assholes in the theater I don't think I've ever once in my life confronted one or told an usher about one, but I've been grateful for others who have. The one I remember the most was when I went to see Drumline. Stupid me going to this on a Saturday evening. There was a large group of teenagers, junior high kids I think, and they obviously all knew each other. I could barely hear the movie because they were so loud and I really wondered why they bothered wasting money on a movie ticket when they obviously had no interest in what was on screen. Some other adults in the theater yelled at them TIME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP TEENIES but it went largely ignored and booed. Someone went and told some theater employees, and after about the third time this happened the theater ejected several of the kids and that finally shut them the fuck up.

And this wasn't just people making jokes at the movie, they were completely ignoring the film and just yelling and screaming and talking amongst themselves.

 

[Smues]

Oh and when I say that I don't begrudge theaters for trying to keep out outside food I didn't mean I condone checking purses and bags and shit. Fuck that.

Hey Bob, what do you order from Wendy's that doesn't smell? Because the lettuce and all the shit they put on the burgers is very pungent. When I get Wendy's I always make sure I throw the bag out quickly or wherever I leave it is going to reek for days.

 

[alkeiper]

I just try to avoid eating in movie theatres in general. You're going to be there for about two hours. Is your need to snack really so great that you simply must sneak in food and drink to duck the concession prices?

 

[mw679]

Like some of the others here, I've given up on going to Friday and Saturday evening shows. My wife has seen me get pissed off too many times at the morons in the theaters. I always get the bad crowds: loud, obnoxious teenagers talking through the whole movie, morons having conversations on their cell phones during the movie(loudly BTW), people throwing popcorn and kicking my chair, etc. Now if this happened once or twice, fine, but this is every Friday or Saturday night movie, I've just lost any interest in going at those times.

Now, I have no problem going to a matinee or waiting a couple weeks to see something good and I think I've convinced my wife that it's better too, so I don't get the nagging. The lack of common courtesy is what really amazes me, I understand if it's a group of rowdy teenagers because their too stupid to know, but when I have a 40 year old guy next to me yapping loudly on his cell phone telling his buddy how awesome the movie is, that just boggles my mind.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

My friend and I were the only ones for JOE'S APARTMENT, on opening weekend.

My experience has mostly been that seeing a movie in an empty theater with a date most often leads to making out or occasionally getting a blowjob.

 

[Smues]

I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one that gets annoyed everytime I go on weekends and busy times. I know I'm a bit of a curmudgeon and I was afraid this was just another case of me over reacting.

Re: people riffing on movies. I've only been to a movie once where people vocally did that, and not ONE person in the theater complained, because the movie was so bad their jokes added to the experience. That movie would be Mortal Kombat: Armeggedon. I think the funny jokes coming from the front row was the only thing that kept people from leaving the movie. That said, that was a rare circumstance, and if someone tried that loudly at a movie I actually gave a damn about I'd be pretty mad.

Oh and of course there was the time at Blue Crush where like a third or half way into the movie some dude just loudly yelled out THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS. No one disagreed with him.

 

[Jingus]

And the kicker is that I would never buy food from the concession stand anyway, so all they were doing was pissing off their most loyal customer, who goes there 2-3 times week.

They don't care. Do the math. One guy who shows up once a month and buys a small popcorn and a small drink is bringing in more money than you do over the course of that entire month.

That being said, having them search you for food is absolute bullshit, and I'm pretty sure it's actually illegal for them to do so. You work at a paper, right Bob? You guys gotta have a lawyer on staff, ask them about it, I seriously think it would count as unconstitutional search and seizure.

 

[alkeiper]

I doubt it's unconstitutional for a private business.

If it were, I think someone would've raised a stink about being patted down at Yankee Stadium.

 

[Jingus]

There's a difference between checking for weapons at a large gathering of emotional people where fights have been known to break out, and going through some lady's purse in order to find a forbidden hamburger. (How many people ever bring in the same kind of food that the theater sells, anyway?)

 

[Smues]

Also Bob, don't you pay for 1 movie and then see 2 or 3? I doubt they care about your business if you aren't buying food.

 

[Damaramu]

I've never been the guy to stand up and yell at someone who's talking in a movie theater. Now if they're right behind me and talking or kicking my chair I usually turn around ask them calmly to stop. Generally that's enough, most people stop.
Well I finally figured out how short my wife's patience was with people at movies when there was this group of teenagers behind us talking and I turned around and said "Hey can you guys please stop talking?" and they were all like "oh yeah, sorry dude."
About 10 minutes later they started again. I was going to turn and say something like "Seriously guys. Please shut-up." But my wife turns around and goes "Shut the fuck up you little assholes!" and this drew cheers from some other people in the theater.
So now I let her handle it at the movies. She's more predisposed to be mean about it than I am.

I remember her best blow-up. I don't mind people putting their feet on chairs. I don't like it when they do it in the empty chair beside me though. And I've never had anybody try to put their feet on my chair next to my head or anything. Well one teenage d-bag thought it would be a good idea to put his feet on the chair next to my wife, but on the side of the chair by her head. So it was like she would turn to the right and she was face to face with his foot. He was wearing those large skater shoes that are untied and barely on his foot. Within 2 seconds of him putting his foot up there my wife yanked his shoe off and threw it down to the front of the theater and said "Get your feet away from my face motherfucker." The kid didn't know how to react. He just kind of sat there then apologized.

I've also noticed you get less mock tough guys when a woman tells them to shut up. Most of them won't stand up and go "You wanna fuckin' go?" and bow up to a woman.

Of course I've noticed when a lot of these kids are confronted with someone angrily telling them to knock it off at a theater they back down. I think they're the type of kids that get away with anything at home and get away with a lot of things in public because nobody wants to have a confrontation (like me). But when someone does say something they don't know what to do.

 

[RedJed]

I doubt it's unconstitutional for a private business.

If it were, I think someone would've raised a stink about being patted down at Yankee Stadium.

Yeah, I think the theater would unfortunately be in legal right to demand to search, at least to an extent. If they are just asking to look in bags, I don't blame them, even though I still think its retarded. But considering that concessions is their only really legitimate money maker, and as long as I still want the theater to be in business, I'll gladly purchase food or drink the very occasional time I even need one. Normally, I don't feel the need to smuggle anything in other than maybe a candy bar that the theater doesn't have.

Hearing some of these off the wall stories about theater experiences makes me remember going to Freddys Dead way back when (I probably was only 15 at the time) and leaving the theater after it was done, only to go back a few minutes later because I left my hat in the theater. Go back in there and there is a couple in the back row fucking (she's was riding him) and totally not even knowing that I even walked back into the theater the entire time I was there, grabbed my hat, and left. Either that or they just didn't care to stop. Either way, it was strange as hell, especially considering they could have (and maybe were) fucking DURING the movie, since I think there was only a few groups of us in the movie, all in front of them. But what made them want to go at it AFTER the movie was completely done and the lights were up....odd.

Another strange story was during a midnight showing of the last Matrix movie. The place is packed and there are tons of Matrix fanboys and, in general, people pretty out there. They show the trailer for League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and at some point they blurt out Sean Connery's name in the trailer, and some fucking dumbshit, literally dead center in this mass crowd of people at this movie, stands up and starts clapping like it's the greatest fucking thing ever. From there, I have never heard such pro wrestling style heel heat inside a theater in my life, and probably never will. People threw popcorn at him, screaming for him to sit the fuck down, etc. He stood there like an idiot for the REST of the trailer and finally someone next to him got him to sit back down. Dude was definately on something.