Reappraising Blender Magazine's 50 Worst Songs Ever List from 2003

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

What Arnold and Stallone movies did I bash?

Please keep the AC/DC bashing to the Classic Rock That Fuckin' Sucks thread and the Arcade Fire bashing to the Indie Music That Fuckin' Sucks thread. Thanks.

 

[Brocklock]

Jingle All The Way and a disrespect to Cobra. But I'm just kidding on that. I didn't know we had AC/DC heads here. I do hate them more than anything mentioned here but I'll keep it out.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

VH1 or Blender Magazine would never put AC/DC on a Worst list cause it would cause Eddie Trunk to have a stroke and Chuck Klosterman to write a TL;DR column so its for the benefit of the public's mental health.

 

[Brocklock]

Oh I thought this was morphing into a worst songs ever thread. Forgot to adhere to the strict rules of 2003 VH1 and Blender Magazine. Sorry.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Please stick to the bands covered on these lists or bands that could reasonably be expected to be omitted from this list.

Not a lot of metal on this list CAUSE I think VH1 was sort of building up VH1 Classics and didn't want to alienate any dads.

There is a VH1 50 Most Awesomely Bad Metal Songs list though. AC/DC does not make the cut but somehow ICP does?

 

[Valeyard]

This entire list is better than the Arcade Fire back catalogue.

That's silly.

 

[Brocklock]

It's gonna further the thread derail but Arcade Fire is really good at times.

Uh Snow Informer is a kind of an enjoyable bad song on these lists.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

I'm going to post the Awesomely Bad Metal list in its own thread to try and revive this folder. By the end of this summer, CWM could rename this the Awesomely Bad Music Folder.

 

[Valeyard]

Man, the random inclusion of "Sunglasses At Night" reminded me Corey Hart did "Never Surrender," which is really good.

"What's Up" at karaoke is what invented Karen.

Fuck, I'm falling into the bullshit list trap again.

 

[Valeyard]

It's gonna further the thread derail but Arcade Fire is really good at times.

Uh Snow Informer is a kind of an enjoyable bad song on these lists.

Putting "Informer" there and not "One Week" is some serious bullshit.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

"One Week" is a surprising omission.

Kind of surprised Dave Matthews Band didn't make the Blender list. VH1 I kind of understand since that was probably the waning days of DMB being a VH1 band.

 

[Brocklock]

This must of been before "All Star" and Smash Mouth became a punchline because I don't see any song from them on either list. Guy Fieri might've been working at Blender or VH1 when they compiled the list and omitted them.

 

[Valeyard]

I was going to suggest Dave Matthews but I couldn't tell how much was personal bias. I hate that guy.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

This must of been before "All Star" and Smash Mouth became a punchline because I don't see any song from them on either list. Guy Fieri might've been working at Blender or VH1 when they compiled the list and omitted them.

Smash Mouth's last major release was 2003 (its lead single was co-written by friggin Neil Diamond). It was a flop but I remember VH1 promoting it a bit. I think they became a joke around '06/'07 when Steve Harwell appeared on the last season of The Surreal Life and Guy Fieri rose to prominence.

 

[Brocklock]

I was going to suggest Dave Matthews but I couldn't tell how much was personal bias. I hate that guy.

Add me to the not liking Dave Matthews list. He even stole his signature noise from Scatman John during his scatting verse in "Song Of Scatland".

 

[Fall of Epic]

I just want to chime on and say AC/DC fucking rules.

That is all.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

I'm not bashing AC/DC or any of the songs on the list. I'm bashing Arcade Fire.

 

[Brocklock]

I was bashing them earlier in the thread when I thought it was spinning off to songs you hate. But, I realized Kamala wants this thread back on track so discuss the Blender/VH1 lists and similar songs that would qualify only.

I'll say it at least musically I can listen to "We Didn't Start The Fire" without wanting to leave my soul.

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Not my fault some of you got exposed to 4 Non Blondes way too much I won't ride or die on this hill but it's closer to the 45-50 mark of a bad songs list if it has to go on then the #16 spot that Blender put it on.

You want to know a bad song worth of this list? Don McLean's "American Pie, that's right. Fuck off with it being 8 and 1/2 minutes. The lyrics kinda work but it's such a generic slightly sped up rocker and there's a reason 90% of people only remember like 3 lines of the whole stupid thing. Even his vocals are just so Bob Dylan-wannabe.

 

[Brocklock]

It's okay man. I defended "Rollin" twice in this thread.

American Pie is probably one of my least favorite songs ever. I wonder if the hate for it was as big in 2003 as it is now. That terrible Madonna cover also could have a spot.

 

[Fall of Epic]

I think "Party All The Time" gets a bad rep because of what it led to: Eddie Murphy's vanity music career that failed miserably. I don't think most people will call it a bad song, just that his music, taken in a vaccum, was hot garbage.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

"Party All The Time" is essentially a Rick James song with Eddie Murphy doing guest vocals so yeah, it's decent. A 6 or 7 out of 10 '80s pop song. I feel like if it was sung by Billy Ocean (or Rick James), people would have mostly fond memories of it.

Don Johnson's "Heartbeat" would be a bad song even if it wasn't sung by an actor. Mildly surprised to see people here defending it tbh. It would've probably made this list if it were sung by Kenny Loggins or Steve Perry.

 

[Baby Shoes]

Don Johnson's "Heartbeat" would be a bad song even if it wasn't sung by an actor.

Fuck the fuck right off. You take that back.

 

[tekcop]

What the hell is Arcade Fire.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Don Johnson's "Heartbeat" would be a bad song even if it wasn't sung by an actor.

Fuck the fuck right off. You take that back.

Looking at me. It's easy to see, you think you know just how I feel!

 

[JHawk]

I remember watching the VH1 special and one of the criticisms of "You're the Inspiriation" was "It sounds like a Hallmark card." And my answer was "That's literally the point of the song."

 

[909]

Kamelot - The March of Mephisto
Tremonti - The Things I've Seen
Delain - Virtue and Vice
Edguy - Fucking with Fire
Alter Bridge - Metalingus
Heart - Never
Sabaton - Resist and Bite
Jorn - Into the Dark
Evanescence - Lies
Billy Joel - Extremes
Sonata Arctica - Dont Say A Word
Eric Carmen - Make Me Lose Control
.38 Special - Caught Up in You
K's Choice - Not an Addict
Serenity - Serenade of Flames
The Cranberries - Linger
Linkin Park - Wretches and Kings
Live - Overcome
Mike and the Mechanics - Living Years
Elton John - Believe

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

That list might be even worse than Blender's. "Metalingus" and "Caught Up In You" are awesome. Looks like the next Wrestling Draft will just be me and CWM.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

What the hell is Arcade Fire.

The reason major record labels died

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

I'm surprised that people are shocked at Laz's Arcade Fire hatred. I'd be shocked if he liked or tolerated their music.

Any further posts about Laz hating Arcade Fire should go in a new thread called "Indie Rock That Fucking Sucks." Maybe it'll draw Edwin or Inc back to the board.