T. Green
Real World Finale/Reunion:
The 28th season of The Real World has now concluded. So to wrap this Portland season up, let’s go ahead with an old-school set of Power Rankings.
10. Nia: After Nia cheap-shotted Averey, they scrapped for a bit longer before the fight mercifully ended. Somehow, she was able to remain in the house (see below), and from there, she plotted to confront Jordan one last time. She even enlisted a goon of sorts, her trainer Dom, to “deal with” Jordan. They were set to go after him at Marlon’s rap show, but fortunately Marlon got through to Dom. In fact, Dom mediated a heart-to-heart between Nia and Jordan. They squashed the beef and moved on. Nia was still her argumentative self at the reunion, but her and her cast mates finally agreed to disagree without further incident.
9. Johnny: The fight fallout culminated with Johnny and Averey calling a meeting so the roommates could vote on whether Nia stayed or not. Jordan voted for Nia to go while Marlon, Jessica, and Anastasia abstained from voting. Johnny and Averey were pissed and decided to leave the house for the duration of their stay in Portland. The three abstainers had their reasons for not voting, but Johnny wasn’t satisfied with their explanations.
8. Jordan: Was largely absent the last few episodes after a stretch of big-time arguments and blowups. In the finale, he went with Marlon and Ana to volunteer at a local soup kitchen, one of the few times we saw the cast do anything worthwhile. Jordan was much more active on the reunion while having to address his various feuds.
7. Anastasia: Ana didn’t play much into the finale, but she had plenty to say at the reunion. She revealed that had a thing for Jordan and was extremely disappointed when he revealed himself as a prick. Ana became emotional as she explained how hurt she was that Johnny was being so critical of her when she was supposedly the only person who had his back. Ana divulged more information about her boyfriend’s drug problem back home. We also got to see a sneak preview of Ana turning up the crazy on The Challenge, slapping famed Challenge vet CT several times.
6. Jessica: Jessica’s ranking may be too high for some, but I always thought she was relatively harmless. Sure, she may be a tad self-absorbed and even slightly crazy, but she’s young and I think she can learn from her mistakes. She explained that Mark was receptive to her forwardness, but that she wasn’t quite ready to commit long-term after being in a previous bad relationship.
5. Averey: She had the distinction of being the only person in the house who liked Jordan from beginning to end. Her issue with Nia has already been talked about ad-nauseum, but there wasn’t much else she did in the latter stages of the show. She did make good on her intentions to live with Johnny in Massachusetts after going back home to Arizona for a bit.
4. Marlon: At the reunion, Marlon expressed mixed feelings about his sexuality as it related to his religion and the relationship with his father. He acknowledged that people would question whether he was gay or not, but he seemed content with who he was and didn’t care what other people though of him. Marlon also flipped on Nia, deciding to disassociate from her and her bullying antics.
3. Joi: Arguably won by jumping ship from the show early on, saving herself from potential embarrassment. The episode where she left implied that Joi left because of her dissatisfaction with her Real World job. Joi showed up to reunion to clear the air. She did dislike the job, but her real reason for leaving was that her boyfriend had surgery. Joi pointed out that had she stayed, the show likely would’ve become Brady Bunch-like with everyone getting along. So she gets extra points for indirectly making this season more entertaining. Ironically, Joi and Nia hit it off when they met for cast shoots and promos.
2. Coral: A decade or so removed from “I don’t wrestle, I beat bitches up” status, Coral served as the sage host of the after shows and the reunion. Even though she dropped her propensity for histrionics, she still kept her sharp tongue, keeping the Portland cast in check. Nia in particular got called out several times by Coral for her contradictory statements.
1. Daisy: Hey, who doesn’t love a cute dog who only eats, sleeps, poops and stays drama-free? However, I think the pet experiment in a Real World house should probably end here.
What’s Next:
The Challenge makes its return on July 10th with the second edition of the Rivals format. The first Rivals was one of the most popular Challenges, so there’s no reason to believe this one won’t be great as well. Portland will be represented by the teams of Jessica/Anastasia and Jordan/Marlon. Despite their inexperience, I believe the male reps from Portland have a real shot of going a long way with their athletic backgrounds. Plus, Marlon and Jordan don’t seem to have that much animosity toward each other in comparison to most of the other teams. The female competitors tend to be more unpredictable, so there’s no telling how Ana and Jessica will fare. I’m actually glad MTV ran the “Shit They Should’ve Shown” episode and the reunion sooner rather than stretching the season out. It gives the viewers time to breathe between shows.
