JHawk
WWE Line of the Week: “Antonio Cesaro might be fluent in five languages, but now that he’s with Zeb, he’s learning Dutch.” –John Bradshaw Layfield
And welcome to another edition of From JHawk’s Beak, as we continue looking back at the J.T. Lightning Memorial Show. This is the review of Disc 2 of the extended DVD set, available at aiwrestling.com and smartmarkvideo.com (not to be confused with smartmarkradio.com, where you can hear me on Pro Wrestling Weekend every Sunday at 6pm Eastern/3pm Pacific).
As part of this review, we’ll see the lovely ladies of Ohio in action, a Tough Enough alum, a Cauliflower Alley Club honoree, a bonafide legend, a Doink the Clown who is NOT the late Matt Borne, and more.
If you missed part 1, click here then hit your back button and read this one. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Or just open another tab. That’ll work too.
Welcome back. And now, part 2.
Sassy Stephie vs. Nevaeh
Photo by Wayne Palmer
Those of you who follow SHIMMER have probably seen these two at some point, especially Nevaeh as she is a former SHIMMER Tag Team champion with Ashley Lane, better known now as Madison Rayne. The ladies start with chain wrestling early on. Aaron Bauer has to get the typical sexist line in saying, “I understand both of these women like to have their hair pulled.” Stephie is the heel here, and she uses a series of cheap tactics, usually involving the ropes, in order get the advantage. Stephie with a snap suplex into a front guillotine, which was beautifully done. Stephie continues working the neck, getting a bridging chinlock in. Neveah finally gets an advantage with a swinging neckbreaker. Nevaeh with a few near falls, but Stephie counters with a jawbreaker, then immediately goes into a modified version of the Play of the Day with her knee to gain the pin at 7:51. Finish seemed random but the match was solid.
Hardcore as Hell: Ian Decay vs. “Mr. Insanity” Toby Kline
Photo by Wayne Palmer
I said last week that I’d try to focus on telling you the story of the matches. Well, this is a hardcore match, so psychology be damned. Not a minute into the match, and Kline introduces a barbed wire 2×4 into the mix. On the floor, and Kline asks fans to hold Decay by the arms so he can use double chops. Who says wrestling doesn’t have audience participation? Three minutes in, and Kline introduces a steel cage door as a weapon in the match. Since there isn’t a cage match on this show, I’d like to know why the hell that’s in the building. We find out later that falls count anywhere, because despite the match not being announced as such, there’s a cover on the floor. Back in the ring, and almost immediately Decay hits Kline in the face with the barbed wire 2×4 and gets the pin at 7:57. That was another finish that seemed random. If you like hardcore, this was fine, but if you don’t, you’d hate it. I expected more out of this.
Photo by Wayne Palmer
The first intermission came after this match, and when we came back from intermission, Michael Cash brought Dominic DeNucci (known best these days for being Mick Foley’s trainer) to the ring for an interview. This was almost impossible to hear live, partly due to DeNucci’s thick accent, and partly due to the guy behind me because he had apparently never heard of DeNucci and wanted to know why this interview was going on. I personally wanted to punch that dude in the face, but seeing the rest of the show was more important than going to jail. Cookie cutter interview with DeNucci telling some stories from his career when he wrestled in the Cleveland/Akron area, and this wasn’t much easier to hear on tape than it was live. DeNucci takes a seat at ringside for our next match.
CAPW Throwback Match: Lord Zoltan (w/Shawn Blanchard) vs. Doink the Clown
Photo by Wayne Palmer
Zoltan is Ken Jugan, who this past April received the Jason Sanderson Humanitarian Award from the Cauliflower Alley Club for his work with the deaf, including the Deaf Wrestlefest fundraiser that takes place in Pittsburgh nearly every year. This version of Doink is not the late Matt Borne, but rather a local worker who will sometimes wrestle without the paint as Preston Steele. I’d normally be concerned about giving that bit of information away, but most of the people I’d ruin the mystique of Doink for wouldn’t be reading this article to begin with. Now these two have wrestled against each other a lot. Pedro DeLuca on commentary says he’s seen the match 14 times in three different states. I’ve seen this match take place 4 or 5 different times in my life, and the match is almost the exact same comedy match almost move for move every single time. This is not a bad thing, as the match is always entertaining. This is no different and was the perfect way to come back from intermission.
So many of the spots have been repeated in so many Doink matches by so many different versions of Doink that I’m not going to mention most of them. However, at one point they do some thumb wrestling, which set up Blanchard trying to legdrop Doink’s hand and getting Zoltan’s instead. If I hadn’t done a thumb wrestling spot in a match myself, I don’t think I’d believe I wasn’t joking about that. Oh, and late in the match, Doink does a Five Knuckle Shuffle, which only further proves that move is a joke. The finish comes when Doink Pedigrees Zoltan and covers, Blanchard tries to splash Doink to break it up, and Doink moves, then covers again with Blanchard still on top of Zoltan to gain the pin at 11:33. They do the water bucket spot as part of the post match, having done the confetti tease spot during the match. Not everyone’s cup of tea but I enjoyed it.
CAPW Throwback Match: Josh Prohibition vs. “M-Dogg” Matt Cross
Photo by Wayne Palmer
And here you have probably the two biggest success stories of J.T. Lightning’s career. Prohibition and Cross were actually backyard wrestlers to start. Lightning saw these two guys and thought they had enough potential that he offered them a chance to get legitimate training, and they went on to become two of his most famous students. Cross has had more success on a worldwide level, having worked for Ring of Honor as well as Hulk Hogan’s failed Australia tour before getting his way too brief run on Tough Enough. That’s not to take anything away from Prohibition who is also a fantastic worker, working throughout the United States and Canada as both Cross’ partner and opponent. In fact, these two have had so many matches with each other that some people feel they could probably have a great match against each other blindfolded, and I’m not sure that’s an exaggeration.
I should note that a lot of the people in the crowd were expecting this to be the best match of the night, and it got placed at fifth from the top. Yes, there are still four more matches left on this show after this.
Cross hits a tope early. Back in the ring, and Cross hits a handspring elbow, then goes into a move he calls, “I’m kicking you and I’m still kicking you,” pictured above, where he simply kicks you repeatedly in the ribs in the corner. Prohibition gains control and taunts Cross by asking, “Are you tough enough?” before kicking him in the ribs. He might as well have told him he slept with his mother. Prohibition slows the pace down when he is in control, which is smart strategy when you’re against a high flyer like Cross. Cross with a mini-comeback, but Prohibition counters with a rolling crab into an STF. Exploder suplex for 2. They exchange forearms, and the match becomes back and forth from here as they go into a series of false finishes. Prohibition with a crucifix power bomb into the corner, then he picks Cross up for a suplex and drives the back of Cross’ head into his knee for 2. Prohibition goes for his finish, the Drunken Driver (double underhook piledriver), Cross counters, but Prohibition goes for it a second time and connects for 2. The crowd chants “This is awesome” and I tend to agree. A superplex attempt is countered by Cross, and he hits his finish, the Shooting Star Press, and only gets 2. Not many kick out of that so the crowd chants “Holy shit”. Cross goes for his own Drunken Driver, Prohibition counters and goes for one of his own, then Cross counters into a hurricanranna for the pin at 13:19. Ring announcer Hank Hudson announces Prohibition the winner by mistake, and while the announce team catches it, the crowd doesn’t because they’re too busy giving both guys a standing ovation. The match was fantastic and was probably the best match of the entire show. With the benefit of hindsight, this should have been put on right before intermission as nothing was going to top it.
Jessicka Havok & Allysin Kay vs. Tuff Tina & Angel Dust
Photo by Wayne Palmer
If you don’t know the name Jessicka Havok, you need to learn it, as she might be the best unsigned ladies talent in North America right now. This was a typical formulaic tag team match, which is fine because the formula always works. Angel Dust does a plancha onto both opponents in the early stages. Angel Dust plays the Ricky Morton role of face in peril, which is perfect as she is so small that it’s easy for a crowd to get behind her. Angel Dust takes Kay down with a flatliner and makes the hot tag, and Tuff Tina is the proverbial house of fire. Angel Dust back in. Havok grabs her from behind, Kay knocks Tina off the apron, and the finish comes off a nice double team move and Kay hits a Code Breaker and Havok goes immediately into a German suplex for the pin at 9:35. Havok and Kay beat the faces down after the match. The match was fine but felt like a downer following Cross and Prohibition.
And that’s the end of disc 2. One more chapter to go next week as we cover the 30-man gauntlet match as well as the two co-main events.
