Andrew Lutzke
The Rockers vs. The Orient Express
This is from London. Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper are on the call. This is the Kato and Tanaka version of the Express. Mr. Fuji gets a cheap shot in on Marty Jannetty before the match can even began. This prompts the Rockers to return to the locker room and bring out Andre the Giant.
Micheals outworks the heels before Marty joins in the fracus and they clear the ring. The Rockers use quick tags and numerous double team moves to keep the heels at bay. Both of the Express look like they have been sampling the good “supplements” as their chests are well defined.
The Rockers control things for far longer than expected, as this bout appears to have been granted a good chunk of time. Shawn finally falls into a trap in the heel corner and finds himself under assault via “martial arts” strikes. McMahon screams about “MOMENTUM!” So now we know where Michael Cole gets that from.
Jannetty makes the hot tag and goes off on both heels. Fuji gets involved, breaking up the comeback. This prompts Andre to throttle Fuji, then steal his cane. The cane is smashed over Kato’s head, giving the Rockers the win.
This was a good match, as all four men were solid to great workers, and they could put on something very watchable, even while going through the motions. Andre’s presence was understandable due to the fact that he still wanted to work, but was not really physically set for any sort of actual wrestling at this level. I feel almost like the Rockers look a little silly for needing aid in beating a team that most other face squads had run over.
Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart vs. The Warlord
More from London. I won’t lie, I’m sure I marked out reading this match up in the WWF magazine ads back in 1991. Now, much…much older, I am just hoping it’s car crash bad and not just boring. It appears this match has the second longest run time on this tape, so I may have to go get my whiskey before traveling forward.
The men growl and shove one another. Anvil gets a few easy pops for locking on a headlock and preventing Warlord from escaping. He gives Warlord a beard yank to keep the edge. A flying tackle causes the Warlord to take a big bump to the floor(!) The men keep up their pushing and hacking, as Piper gives us the ol’ “Look’a how big deez fellers are!” line about needing to be there live to truly appreciate it.
Neidhart takes damage for several minutes as things slow down significantly. Bear hug! Clubbering! Bear hug…again! Chin lock! Anvil finally makes his rally, throwing some pitifully fake looking blows before landing on Warlord’s knees during a splash attempt. Warlord misses a charge right after and finds himself cradled for the pin. Ugh….just dull…. The ending surprised me at least as I thought Warlord was taking this.
Randy “Macho Man” Savage vs. “The Model” Rick Martel
From Las Vegas. Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes are doing the voice overs. The announcers explain that this match was taped 2 days after Wrestlemania 7. This is the final match Savage was contracted for prior to losing his career after falling to the Ultimate Warrior. It’s kind of interesting that Savage is a babyface here, since he’d remain heel leaning on commentary for several more months – even praising Sgt. Slaughter.
Savage gets off to a quick start, but Martel gains the upper hand after Macho Man attempts a double axe handle to the floor and eats a fist instead. Savage sells and sells as Martel chases Elizabeth around ringside, looking for some lovin’. Martel is cut off by Savage, but he quickly regains the advantage in the ring.
Macho Man manages to knock Martel out of the ring with a weak looking clothesline. He PILEDRIVES Martel on the floor, then rolls the Model’s corpse in the ring to set up for a big elbow. The academic pin follows. Savage had a lot of these matches against random heels during the 90s. He’d take a beating for several minutes, get a quick comeback and drop the elbow for the win.
Lord Al teaches Scary Sherri and the Brooklyn Brawler table etiquette. Hilarity ensues. Sherri shoves her napkin in her cleavage, leading to a “She’s got a lot of manners” line from Brawler that made me chuckle.
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs. “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase
This takes place after Wrestlemania 7, at a point where Piper was still selling his surgically repaired knee. He was not working on TV. That makes this match up pretty cool to see. Piper looks in great shape, with visible abs. Piper takes the fight to Dibiase right off, culminating with his famous “3 stooges” eye poke. Sherri gets involved, so Piper kisses her.
Sherri jumps on the apron a second time, so Piper kicks Dibiase into her. The heels are relentless in their chicanary. As Dibiase works on Piper’s knee, Sherri takes the ref’s attention, allowing Dibiase to use a crutch on Piper’s damaged limb. Dibiase spends the next several minutes wearing away at Hot Rod’s injury.
Dibiase tries to use the crutch a second time, but Piper gets the weapon and attacks Dibiase’s leg. He then gives the ref his best “kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar” look when accused of such things. Sherri gets involved again, so Piper whacks both her and Dibiase with the crutch. The ref is okay with this…until Piper strikes him as well. That earned him a DQ. This was fun stuff.
Back at the restaurant, Brawler and Sherri have tied Lord Al up and are gorging themselves. Hawt.
Jake “the Snake” Roberts vs. Earthquake
Roberts tries to get the jump on Quake, only to find himself downed from a barrage from the big man. The Snake switches to more of a hit and move strategy, but Quake absorbs most of it with his girth. Quake downs Roberts again, but decides to go after Lucifer (Damien’s replacement), allowing Roberts to tag him with a knee.
Roberts goes for the kill too fast and Quake drops him again. Jake avoids the butt splash, so Quake locates Lucier’s bag with intentions of sitting on the snake instead. Roberts trips the Quake up, then brings the snake out of the bag. Quake runs in fear, leaving Jimmy Hart behind to sell for Lucier. Roberts is DQ’d for whipping his snake out. This was almost not a match, and more of an excuse for Quake to sell his fear of snakes.
Shawn Michaels vs. Intercontinental champion Mr. Perfect
This is Rocker Shawn. The ladies love Michaels’ early one upmanship of Perfect. The champ wants to turn things into a brawl, which ends when Michaels whiffs on a punch (even Mooney and Hayes admit it missed) and Perfect flees to the floor. Michaels leaps on him (a mind blowing move for the WWF of that era), only to be dumped on the railing. Marty Jannetty jogs down to check on his friend, as Shawn is selling big time.
Perfect takes it to Michaels for several minutes. Shawn manages to fight back, which prompts Bobby Heenan to come to ringside. (He is no longer Perfect’s manager at this point according to the announcers.) Heenan distracts Jannetty, opening Marty up to Perfect knocking him into a ringpost. Heenan next takes up Shawn’s attention, giving Perfect the chance to trap Michaels in the “Perfect-plex”. The Big Bossman runs in and smacks the champ with his nightstick, breaking up the pin, but costing Shawn the match. This was certainly a tease that something special might be in the future if these men were to tangle again.
“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan vs. Kendo Nagasaki
From Tokyo. Well, on the list of people I expected to see on this VHS tape, Nagasaki is somewhere very close to the bottom. The men throw blows back and forth, with neither selling. Duggan sends Nagasaki to the the apron. Duggan then no sells whatever Kendo attempted to do, and tosses him to the floor. They have another miscommunication, then spread apart so Duggan can clothesline him to the floor once again. Kendo kicks Duggan once, then hits a thrust kick and SCORES THE PIN!?!?!!? Duggan attacks Nagasaki with his 2×4 to get his heat back. No one wanted to play ball here, so the whole thing was a dick measuring contest. Why would the WWF put this on their VHS? The match was a dud, and THEIR GUY LOST!
Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior vs. The Undertaker, Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan
Slaughter tried to get the jump on Hogan while the Hulkster was posing, but Hogan turned that around quickly. Warrior and Hogan take turns battering Sarge, with Warrior getting his shots in at Taker and Adnan as well.
Hogan winds up trapped in the heels corner, with a big “Hogan” chant breaking out. Taker takes pleasure in choking the champ, then allowing Slaughter a chance to get his shots in. Adnan tags in while the Hulk is down, and surprisingly gets his own licks in without comeuppance.
Warrior makes the hot tag, but the Undertaker cuts off his flurry quickly. Slaughter and Taker wear out the Warrior for several minutes, before Hogan gets his own hot tag. Hogan can’t overcome the numbers either, and succumbs to a camel clutch. Taker comes in to help bend Hogan back even farther. That prompts the Warrior to run in and break up the submission. Taker and Warrior then brawl around ringside and to the backstage. Meanwhile, Sarge and Adnan double team the Hulkster until Sarge clotheslines Adnan by accident. Hogan disposes of Sarge, then just pins Adnan, who is still selling the clothesline. No leg drop? We close with the Hulk posing, naturally.
Past the uniqueness of the match (featuring the Warrior, who was about to leave, and Slaughter, who was about to be shunted down the cards, interacting with the relative newcomer, the Undertaker) it wasn’t anything too spectacular.
Final thoughts: This was a breezy viewing, as a lot of rarish matches made the tape, and quite a few of the matches were good fun.
