Andrew Lutzke
Vince and Jerry Lawler call the action.
Crybaby Match: Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid
Kid throws a teddy bear in Razor’s face, so Ramon chucks his toothpick in his face. Razor then wallops Waltman with a series of big blows and sends him to the pavement. Kid manages to drop Ramon throat first on the top rope and then nails a springboard clothesline. Kid controls with “martial arts” but Razor uses brute force to toss the Kid around the ring. Dibiase tosses a handful of baby powder in Razor’s face and the ref is forced to ignore the cloud of white dust that is enveloping the ring. Kid nails a flying dropkick, a series of leg drops and a splash. When that fails to keep Ramon down, the Kid resorts to a sleeper hold.
After a long spell of being locked in the sleeper, Razor is able to lift the Kid up and dump him gonads first on the top rope. Razor tries a second rope backdrop but Waltman knocks him down with elbows. Razor manages a near fall by rolling through on a crossbody but a spinwheel kick downs Ramon again. Razor slugs back and chucks Waltman from the top rope. Kid gets a handful of baby powder in desperation but Ramon kicks it into Waltman’s face and nails the Razor’s Edge. Ramon lifts the Kid’s shoulder at 2. Razor drops him with a second Razor’s Edge for good measure and gets the pin.
Razor puts a diaper on Waltman after the match – Dibiase gets a face full of powder for his comeuppance. Solid enough match, perhaps a bit disappointing considering the participants.
Duke “The Dumpster” Droese vs. HHH
Duke charges the ring, since he’s still angry that HHH cut his hair. They have a slugfest that the common man wins. Dumpster whips Hunter by his hair and delivers a big press slam. Droese unloads in the corner on HHH’s face but Hunter manages to drop Droese face first on the turnbuckle. HHH tries a Pedigree but is back dropped instead. Duke charges HHH and ends up flying to the cement. Lawler tries to make innuendos with HHH’s lady of the evening.
Duke ends up being whipped into the steel steps and HHH hits his Dory Funk Jr. European uppercuts and Harley Race flying knees to keep the Dumpster down. Droese catches HHH with a boot to the face, a spinebuster and a powerslam. Duke nails his tilt-a-whirl powerslam finisher but grabs his trash can to inflict more damage instead of going for the win. HHH grabs the lid and knocks Droese out for the pin. Match was fine but felt completely inconsequential.
Yokozuna vs. The British Bulldog
Yoko hustles to the ring and charges right at Bulldog. Yoko out strikes Bulldog but misses an elbow. Bulldog delivers a litany of forearms as there’s not much you can do with a 650 pound opponent. Yoko unloads back and attempts a Banzai drop – Cornette pulls Davey out of the way. Yoko chases Smith on the floor and runs into the steel ringpost. Yoko absorbs a series of punches and clotheslines and crushes Bulldog with a Samoan Drop. A belly to belly suplex prompts Jim Cornette to run in and use his tennis racquet to save his charge.
Vader runs in and he and Bulldog double-team Yoko. Yoko is handcuffed to the ropes and yet he manages to defend himself against this 2 on 1 battle. They eventually get the best of Yoko and leave him dangling on the ropes. Corny hits a number of stiff racquet shots across Yoko’s back. This one barely got past the basics.
Goldust sexually assaults an America Online typist.
Shawn Michaels vs. Owen Hart
Winner gets the Wrestlemania title shot. Shawn messes around early on, running around the ring and throwing shadow punches. Owen one-ups Shawn and bails to the floor for some fan adulation, but he finds little love. Shawn greets him with a flying crossbody. Shawn scores a takedown and walks up Owen’s spine. Shawn locks in a headlock and yanks Owen’s hair to keep him controlled. When Cornette starts screaming about this infraction, Shawn grabs two handfuls of hair and shakes Owen’s head as the ref argues with Corny. That was a cute spot.
Shawn hits a Frankensteiner but Owen shows he’s still in this by delivering a belly-to-belly suplex. Hart stretches Shawn with a series of submission grappling moves. HBK fights his way out but Owen drives a knee into his chest and downs him once again. Shawn tries another rally but is caught with a spin heel kick. Shawn shakes off the cobwebs and suplexes Owen to the floor. Hart recovers fast and powerslams HBK on the cement. Hart nails a flying dropkick.
HBK tries another comeback, but Owen once again cuts him off with a big clothesline. That sets up a Sharpshooter. Shawn manages to escape but only by crawling to the ropes. HBK gets a desperation roll up but Hart ends any hope for Shawn by executing an enziguiri. Owen misses a follow up charge and ends up nailed with a flying forearm. HBK flies into Hart with another forearm, hits a flying elbow and tries for a superkick. Owen catches his boot and tries another enziguiri – this time Shawn is able to duck it and a superkick finishes Owen’s Wrestlemania dreams for good.
Very good match – crowd was remarkably dead for most of it, perhaps because nobody really thought Owen had a chance?
WWF President Roddy Piper joins us – He can’t be bought and he thinks Michael Jackson is guilty. OK then. He warns Shawn that whoever he faces at Mania will test his mettle like never before. Piper thinks Yoko is a beast, Vader is inbred and wears his jockstrap on his face. He announces Yoko vs. Vader for Mania.
Jim Cornette and Clarence Mason rush the stage and Piper tells them to shut up. He asks Cornette if he’s the banjo playing kid from Deliverance. Corny cuts an angry promo and Piper keeps trying to cut him off. Piper grabs Cornette’s ass and walks off.
Steel Cage: World Champion Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. “Big Daddy Cool” Diesel
Diesel goes right at Bret and the Hitman tries to hold his own in a blow for blow contest but fails. Nash grabs Bret’s hair and talks trash. Diesel then sends Bret across the ring and he lands in a lump. An already desperate Bret sends Nash into the cage face first twice and tries to make a quick escape. Diesel yanks him off and spine busters him into the cage wall twice.
Nash casually strolls towards the door and Hart is able to cut him off. He blasts Diesel with some big blows and Hart tries to slide out of the door. Nash catches him and then attempts his own exit. Hart starts to work over Diesel’s leg. The crowd is still totally dead, which really makes these matches hard to get into.
Diesel drops Bret with a sideslam but misses a follow up elbow. Both men try escaping in opposite directions, but Hart realizes he’s going to lose and gives up his escape attempt to stop Diesel. Bret is slammed from the top rope but Bret shows the Hart of a champion and quickly recovers and bulldogs Nash. Hart goes back to work on Diesel’s knee. Nash is able to end the assault by launching the Hitman chest first into the turnbuckle. That finally got a reaction from this crowd.
Nash and Bret brawl on top of the cage and Diesel’s power over takes Bret’s willpower. Hart crashes into the cage and is then again sent sternum first into the corner. Nash tries a “snake eyes” but Hart is able to slip off and send him into the steel entrapment. Hart tries a Sharpshooter but Nash fights it off and gets a “Diesel” chant from the fans. Bret gets the side Russian leg sweep and a second rope elbow drop but a low blow puts Hart down. Nash tries to escape through the door but the Undertaker tears through the mat and yanks Diesel into “Hell itself” (per Vince). Bret climbs out unabated for the win.
Nash pops out of the hole and looks shaken. Diesel makes a quick beeline to the floor and Taker poses as Nash escapes in fear. Poor Bret doesn’t even get to celebrate in the least. Match was pretty much paint by numbers stuff as Hart was probably upset that he was booked as an after thought for the second straight PPV and wasn’t motivated to make the Kliq look good.
Final thoughts:
Not a bad show in actuality but it felt more like an extended RAW than any sort of must see event. The matches were mostly stepping-stones to bigger things ahead and the crowd was not very active all night. So far Taker vs. Diesel has been built up very well for Mania, but it came at the expense of the World title picture.
