Andrew Lutzke
Presented by RF Video
The host meet up with Jake as he gets off his airplane and Roberts gleefully and gruffly lets us know he dumped his girlfriend. Jake then runs into another woman and Jake declares that this is his girl in this town and he kisses the new woman. The hosts are confused by the turn of events.
They ask him about his WWE DVD and Jake explains many of his family members were upset by the wounds that Jake re-opened by touching on some of the dirt he covered during those interviews.
Jake and Vince McMahon didn’t have any interaction during the DVD taping sessions. Jake has little use for Vince. Roberts was happy to do the RAW segment with Randy Orton though as he thinks Orton is a good hand.
Roberts is in town for a match with The Sandman and Jake jokes that he and the Sandman have the same training plan – drugs and drinking.
Jake claims he turns down the WWE semi-frequently for appearances and feels saying no only makes them want him more.
The Snake is underwhelmed by most of the WWE roster and makes veiled steroid jokes. Jake likes Chris Benoit, Eddy Guerrero (who had recently died when this was filmed), Rey Misterio Jr. and Kurt Angle. He feels Angle would be even better if somebody was around to teach him psychology.
A promoter in New Jersey – Eric Simms pissed Jake off so much with his business practices that Jake intentionally no showed a Simms promoted show, which Jake claims was the first shot he ever intentionally skipped.
The current roster lacks good workers and that leads to angles not getting over. Jake points out that he and Bad News Brown had a shitty angle in 1990 with snakes vs. Harlem sewer rats as a big part of the story – they got it over because they knew how to work.
Undertaker’s success is partially due to Jake teaching him.
Roberts hates when promoters give guys fake relatives to help them get over. He cites Big Show’s start as Andre’s kid.
Jake riffs on Bill Watts and Ted DiBiase finding religion.
The brand split in the WWE is a mistake according to Jake – the opportunities are limited when guys are on opposite shows.
TNA tried to sign Jake but the money wasn’t good enough.
Giving people gimmicks that are not near to the real person leads to guys not getting over because they aren’t comfortable or natural in the gimmick’s skin.
Kurt Angle is the best worker in the WWE. He is also Jake’s modern dream opponent.
Jake makes a prison gang rape joke at Rob Feinstein.
Roberts is amused by the current guys using DDT’s since they it is now a transitional move and the fans remember when Jake would be able to knock guys out with it – thus making Jake a badass.
Jake rode with Angelo Mosca and Terry Funk once and they ended up brawling in the backseat as the car was roaring 90 miles an hour down the road.
Kevin Sullivan and Jake were riding with Jimmy Garvin and ribbed him by tossing wine, flour and eggs on him. The flour reacted and expanded into dough all over the car.
One of Jake’s snakes got loose in his car and bit his leg and Jake sped up in a panic – a cop pulled him over and Jake pleaded that a snake had attacked him – the cop said bullshit until he saw the big snake slithering in the front seat and backed off scared.
Another snake once ate a woman’s shoe – the snake later threw it up in front of some fans and Jake acted scared and asked where the rest of the woman was at.
The crew and Jake sit down to eat and Jake messes with the guys stuff when they walk away from the table – nothing too compelling – putting salt in their soda, etc. He burns one of the guys with a match for “fun”. Jake says one of the rules of the road is to always take your drink with you when you leave a table.
The Dynamite Kid and Jacques Rougeau backstage feud is discussed – Jake says Davey Boy Smith was always instigating things and was kind of a dick in that manner. Roberts doesn’t miss him.
Jake bitches about his ex-girlfriend and tells of her setting him up at a motel where he was greeted with cops and a news crew.
Roberts thinks it’s funny that guys care about jobbing.
Rob and Jake’s driver has water tossed on him by Jake in the car and then he gets to lug Jake and his girlfriend’s luggage around.
Lame sex jokes from Jake as the guys rent him a hotel room for him. This could have been left on the editing floor.
Now at the arena, Jake jokes that the crew had hoped he would have smoked some crack on camera.
Blue Meanie greets Jake and the indy guys give him a standing ovation. Jake asks if they want to see the snake pit and he drops his pants and spreads his ass cheeks. Classy.
Balls Mahoney appears and he and Jake make drug jokes.
Jake rips on the WWE and Sandman says he never watches it. Then they swig booze (prior to their match of course…)
Sandman tells a story of having a fat woman sit on a passed out Raven’s face.
Sandman and Jake keep drinking beer and booze…still no match yet…
Jake mocks Randy Savage’s voice and mannerisms as he tells a story of Savage being paranoid that somebody was going to switch snakes on Jake and use a venom filled cobra during their famous snake biting angle. Jake let the snake bite his leg first to show Savage all was kosher.
Roberts worked in Japan in the mid-70’s and worked a match in the rain while holding an umbrella.
One of the indy workers has Jake sign a WWE Classic Figure of himself– that seems like it would be against some unwritten wrestling code about acting like a mark.
Still boozing… crazy that the promoter was ok with this.
Jake takes a promotional picture while holding a cigarette…classy…
Balls, Jake and Sandman debate who will sell the most between Sandy and Jake as both men say they don’t have offensive moves.
Finally match time and Jake’s wearing a generic shirt since he’s a fat fuck. At least he stopped drinking in the last five minutes…
He has no snake as the promotion forgot to get one.
Jake (in a t shirt and jogging pants) gets on the house mic and rips on a local indy geek’s ring gear. He then tries a DDT but Sandman runs in and attacks.
Sandman rips on Jake’s age and stomps a mudhole in Roberts.
Sandman punches and kicks Roberts and Jake gets to lay on the mat in a lump.
Sandman goes for a fireman’s carry and Jake hits a DDT and lays on the mat some more before pinning Sandman. 1 move. 4 minutes. No shame. Jesus.
The fans should’ve been pissed. Jake pours a beer on Sandman after and they make peace in the ring over drinks. Jake then slumps in the corner of the ring and lights up a cigarette. For fuck’s sake!
Jake walks to the back and is winded…so sad.
A fan asks for a picture with a kiss and Jake licks her face and tells her “I can taste the semen.”
A young woman asks for a TV interview…Jake offers to take out his penis…twice….
Jake gloats about how he did nothing in the match and got a fat paycheck for it. Jake says “That’s called working”.
Roberts goes back to the ring for some fan photos and meet and greet…with a beer in hand.
We go back to the locker room and Jake meets up with Bill Apter who does his Jerry Lewis impression.
Jake says Bill Watts is a thief who shorted him on paydays.
“Normally I don’t drink beer, but I’m out of crack.”
Roberts sits down to hang out with some indy geeks – one shows how messed up his head is by stating “I don’t give a fuck what the fans thought, I loved your match!”
Jake slurs his way through mocking the indy geek he insulted in the ring earlier – many gay rape jokes follow. He calls the kid over and mocks him to his face.
Honky Tonk Man is made fun of for bragging about his 2 years on top of the WWF – Jake claims he has been on top for 28 out of his 31 years of his career…uhhhh huhhh
Jake laments that Hawk, Andre, Joey Marella, Art Barr, Eddy Gurrerro and others have died and he still must suffer on Earth.
Now he’s had enough and declares “Time to go get high” and he leaves.
Final thoughts: Sad to see one of my childhood favorites reduced to a drug fueled mess. Watching Jake act like your creepy drunken uncle made me bypass pity and just want to look away in shame. This DVD clocked in at over 3 hours and at times it was car crash compelling but unfortunately much of what is on film is meandering and dull. With some editing, this could have been a solid 2 hour “documentary” – the bloated version released is a chore to sit through though. Take a shot every time Jake says “fuck” and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning. Catch the highlights of this on youtube and say a prayer for Jake that his current recovery period is real and a success.
