Andrew Lutzke
Presented by Sean Oliver and Kayfabe Commentaries.
We start with a rant on “corporate wrestling” and how Jim prefers doing shoots and fan meet and greets as it brings him closer to the fans who just want to see some wrasslin’ and not all the modern bullshit.
A question is broached about independent groups working together and Cornette says it’s a great idea but promoters working together has historically failed.
Modern TNA and WWE will never have “bookers” again, as a traditional booker had way too much control for today’s corporately structured promotions.
Jim’s in favor of wrestling “borrowing” MMA finishes for wrestling in order to make wrestling more realistic.
Dennis Condrey and Bobby Eaton demanded Jim Cornette be paid equally to his team’s salary.
Cornette goes off on Vince Russo for not studying wrestling and not understanding Cornette’s suggestions.
Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and the Undertaker are Cornette’s choices for all time icons – due to their national scope and longevity.
A fan calls out Cornette on ripping on Russo and others while never successfully booking a huge money promotion himself. Corny then blames others for his booking tenures failing at the box office.
Jim has no interest in running a promotion anymore due to his age, commitment levels being too demanding, and wrestling being shit, among other reasons.
Corny promises to take his collection of St. Louis Wrestling programs out of his burning house before saving his wife.
Jim saved his PWI “Manager of the Year” awards and isn’t sure if the voting was rigged or not.
“Beyond the Mat” was filming in the WWF back stage and Jim did his best to avoid the cameras since he was still in the mode of protecting kayfabe.
“The Wrestler” made the business look terrible and the workers look pathetic and perhaps imbecilic.
Crockett had two planes – a fancy one for the top guys and the “jabroni jet”. Cornette made Hawk agree to knock him out if a plane was ever going to crash.
The Midnight Express worked 45 matches in 48 days in the NWA – and over 100 straight days in Mid South.
They watch the WrestleRock Rumble music video and watching Jim and Sean react makes the bit far more than Corny’s comments on it.
Cornette talks about wanting to have sex with his cousin – I think…it was teased…
Bush and Cheney get roasted by Corny and talks of the hypocritical right wing talking heads who bash Obama for doing much of the same things that Bush implemented.
Buddy Roberts accidently dropped some weed in the ring while taking his boot off to bash the Von Erichs.
Bill Watts was willing to try and have his guys visit financial planners and tried to wean them off hard drugs.
Jerry Jarrett once gave a locker room speech on staying away from wasting money on drugs and roids– Dutch Mantel chirped up with “Hell Jerry, the way you pay us we already had to give up on food.”
Cornette’s drug of choice was fast food burgers and Pepsi.
Jim would get a lot of ring rats – and the women that liked the heels were a little wild and a lot more fun than the Rock and Roll Express’ teeny boppers. Jim claims he nailed 100’s of “sluts”.
Playboy Frazier (Uncle Elmer) took pictures of himself fucking a midget! OMG….that may be the funniest story I’ve heard on any shoot.
Ricky Morton was mauled by women trying to get a piece of him
Ric Flair was able to claim a very yummy brand of woman. The pick of the litter for him.
Stan Lane was constantly fucking rats and 2 at once was not all that uncommon.
“I would fuck Terri Runnels – in fact I’d bring my wife along so she could pick up some tips!”
Tammy Synch and Chris Candido were brought in as a package deal to SMW – at that point Tammy didn’t drink or any other bad behavior. Her WWF run saw her problems grow in line with her fame.
Cornette would down Sprite like crazy – up to 12-18 a day on a bad day.
New Jack once beat up someone who gave him 7 UP instead of Sprite.
Jim started on his Sprite kick after working for Jim Herd in WCW, and he suffered from constant heartburn as a result.
Jim loves his Wendy’s triple cheese burgers. He wishes fast food joints hired more competent help though.
“The Heart Attack Grill” in Arizona will offer anyone over 350 pounds free food. They also serve French fries made in real lard and soda with real sugar in it.
The Big Mac is buried for being small and too much bread being used. Jim loves the BK Whopper but dislikes Burger King microwaving their burgers instead of making them fresh.
“The Dairy Queen Incident” is discussed.
“It’s Dairy Queen, if they spit in the food it will only add some seasoning.”
Dr. Death Steve Williams was the toughest guy Corny ever met.
Larry Zybysko is very funny in real life.
General Akbar was great to be around.
2 Cold Scorpio was an innovator.
Jim Cornette’s wife has Howard Stern’s signature tattooed on her ass.
Disco Inferno was a terrible booker with gimmick ideas like “Bill Ding – the evil architect”.
Danny Hodge was such a bad ass that Brock Lesnar would be reduced to a quivering mess if Hodge wanted to take him out.
Announcer Bob Caudle was the ultimate straight man who couldn’t be fazed.
Ref Tommy Young was “persnickety”. Unintentionally hilarious guy. Tight wad.
The Fantastics were a great tag team and suffered from following The Fabulous Ones and the Rock and Roll Express as the fans had then seen the gimmick and were less inclined to find them innovative and fresh.
“Iron” Mike Sharpe would train hard for hours before a match, have his little 6 minute match and then spend a huge amount of time in the showers battling his OCD.
PG-13 had issues with attendance and had been fired from Memphis. When they returned Jamie Dundee disappeared before a live show and Cornette convinced the booker to fire him – but he made Cornette do it.
In the early 1980’s the Iron Sheik was in Memphis and wanted to do his anti-USA spiel on the microphone however the local commissioner had banned anyone but the official announcer from talking on the house microphone – as a result, Sheik and Cornette got into a scuffle in the ring as Jim tried to keep the mic away from Sheiky Baby and it ended with Sheik screaming “FAACK DA COMMISHINER” into the mic. The same commissioner banned battle royals since the local rules stated that a match much end if a wrestler is tossed over the top rope.
Christine Jarrett finally threatened the commissioner and he disappeared for a while.
The “Original” Sheik would have his limo pull into the arena while the opening match was ongoing, then he’d get out with his 3 piece suit and handlers to establish his aura.
Terry Taylor and Vince Russo tried to take over TNA and powered Cornette out of the company – their plan was foiled when Hogan and Bischoff came in a few weeks later.
Corny sent Taylor a scathing email letting him know his thoughts on TNA personnel and Terry sent it to Russo and others. This included a line about wishing he could legally murder Vince Russo and thus Cornette was served with legal papers for “terroristic threats”.
Taylor was let go from WCW for sexual harassment.
We close with a lengthy promo on Vince Russo and all of his ineptitudes.
Final Thoughts: This DVD was very fun as once again, all you need is a camera and Jim Cornette and the entertainment genesis is natural from there. Some of this is what we expect from Jim (“FUCK VINCE RUSSO!!!”) and other parts are sort of a gimmicky waste of time (Cornette spends several minutes doing a blind taste test of Sprite and its competition.) Then there are genuinely enjoyable stories added in (Uncle Elmer and a midget…) All in all a super fun “waste” of 2 and half hours.
