Andrew Lutzke
Presented by Kayfabe Commentaries
This interview is Sean Oliver reading the Honky Tonk Man a series of questions provided by us, the fans along with wacky fan videos and goofy “games.”
Honky opens with an amusing story about his son pissing him off by shitting in his hotel room instead of the public restroom.
A pair of Asian fans do a karaoke version of Ferris’ theme song. Honky jokes about needing Viagra and talks about how good looking the girls are.
When asked what the difference between the Honky Tonk Man persona and Ray Ferris, the man is, Honky replies he’s just a normal dude who drinks beer and walks around shirtless in the neighborhood.
Tony Alamo, a pedophile priest who stole his own wife’s corpse, made Honky Tonk Man’s jumpsuits. For more on that story, check out this article I wrote a few months ago on that sinister minister: The Best of Unsolved Mysteries
Honky defends the creepy holy man and blames the government for going on a witchhunt. Ferris paid multiple thousands of dollars for each outfit and was glad to do it after enduring the hideous outfit that the WWF made him wear in his early days there. After Honky quit, the WWF tried to sue him and force him to never wear the gimmick again.
The secret formula of Honky’s greasy hair is revealed.
Honky’s body hair grows in weird spots, so he always shaved his body.
Ferris rips on Bret Hart, Ric Flair, and Hulk Hogan for having the same match every night.
Honky admits that the WWF schedule caused him to work the same match nightly if he wrestled the same guy night after night.
Haku would be picked out by bar patrons to fight, this rarely ended well for the fans.
When asked to break down the legit bad asses in wrestling: Haku, The Barbarian, Bruiser Brody, and Andre the Giant are all named on top of the list.
Honky tells about being a nude oil-wrestling commentator at one of Al Capone’s former houses that was renovated into a strip club.
They go over a bunch of wrestler’s mug shots and Honky makes fun of Ric Flair and Brian Christopher among others.
Smacking up your kids should be allowed if their being asshats. Might even straighten them out.
Iron Sheik found that Jim Neidhart was the only man who could go all night and keep up with Sheiky Baby’s drug and booze usage.
Bret Hart shit his pants once when teaming with Honky in the WWF in 1987.
Lou Thesz was a tough guy who would stretch young guys. Great wrestler though.
Raven was a smart guy with good mic skills.
New Jack was a piece of work. A tough guy and very funny.
Iron Sheik was a great businessman who made tons of money despite not being able to work or talk.
Honky glowingly talks about Gorilla Monsoon. Monsoon wasn’t a stooge and Honky loved him.
Mr. Fuji liked ribs that hurt people. The Bulldogs liked to wreck clothes. Owen Hart’s were mostly playful.
Fuji tied someone to a car in Hawaii and dragged him down the street. He fed another guy his own dog.
Honky does impressions of Iron Sheik, Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair and Tracy Smothers.
Honky was part of Herb Abram’s UWF. The checks bounced, so Honky went to the state athletic commission and got it from them.
JR broke his hand while throwing a worked punch at Michael Cole during an angle.
Rick Rude could have stolen Honky’s “Cool, cocky and bad” tag line. He fit the bill.
Ferris’ wife took care of the bills and sent him clean clothes while he was on the road in the WWF. The gyms would give the workers free gear, which helped.
Macho Man was one of the first guys to have a computer on the road to help keep track of finances.
While working with Luke Williams in the south, the fans knocked out both of Honky’s front and back windows in his car and he had to drive home in the winter while freezing.
WWE asked Honky to lose to Randy Orton on RAW for $500. Honky turned them down and worked an indy show for $750.
Honky won’t do the job for young guys because they aren’t trained well and it’ll kill Honky’s aura.
Alice Cooper did not party with the workers after Wrestlemania 3. Cooper is a straight arrow and doesn’t get involved in such things.
Everybody did pain pills. Hogan loved pot. Jake the Snake, JYD and Piper loved cocaine. Jimmy Hart was the only guy not on steroids. No one was doing intravenous drugs.
The Bushwackers did every drug they could -as did Fuji.
Tully Blanchard was snorting cocaine even before he became a national star.
Ferris rips on TNA’s lax drug policies.
Honky has a torn pec muscle and hasn’t had it fixed in 20 years. Because of that, Honky hates taking chops. Ferris says chopping is for bitches.
Jake Roberts was an expert at giving himself just enough drugs that he’ll be all fucked up but not overdose.
Buck Zumoffe accused Honky of stealing his gimmick.
Shane McMahon left the WWE because he wanted to have a life. Vince expected him to be wrestling-wrestling-wrestling 24/7.
Jerry Lawler and Honky Tonk Man are friendly now. Honky bashed Lawler in the past over whining for his job back after he had quit in 2001.
Honky found Dusty to be stiff and lazy when they worked.
Jay Strongbow has killed more careers than drugs have. Strongbow was a prick and would change match orders to make somebody work later in the night if he found out that a worker wanted to leave early because they had family in town.
Hulk Hogan was a dick backstage.
Honky laughs when telling a story about taking a bunch of Polaroid pictures with fans at an indy show – the film wouldn’t work and Honky promised he’d get new film and redo the pictures at intermission. He just left with the money instead. “I don’t give refunds.”
Ferris justifies not leaving tips for waiters when he goes out to eat.
The WWA out of Indianapolis had a territory loaded with ring rats. Honky can’t explain why that town in particular was loaded with women.
Honky never saw Hacksaw Duggan use his “dildo blender.” Ferris did have a dildo on a crank though.
Ferris never saw Lanny Poffo suck his own dick.
Fuck, marry, kill: Fuck Nicole Bass – kill Mae Young (she’s almost gone anyway), and marry Awesome Kong (she’ll be a star and make lots of money)
A fan in the Stampede territory would jerk off horses to amuse (arouse?) the boys.
Honky suggests we fuck who we want and do what drugs we want – but do it in moderation.
Jesse Ventura is full of shit with his 9/11 conspiracies.
Perry Saturn got booked in Memphis wrestling thanks to Honky. Ferris told him to fuck a bunch of rats and treat it as a vacation.
Honky watched the early days of the UFC but doesn’t follow the sport now.
The steroid use in the WWF wasn’t hidden in the least in the 80’s.
Pat Patterson never tried to make him join his “cream team.”
Sherri Martel slept with a litany of the wrestlers.
Honky confirms that he was threatening to jump to JCP when he was the IC champion because they wanted him to lose the title to Savage and had no follow up plans for him. Honky said he wouldn’t have brought the title to JCP but instead he would’ve put the title above his fireplace.
Final Thoughts: Clocking in at two and a half hours, this shoot is long on entertainment and somewhat lacking in new substance. Honky is engaging and fun throughout though and it was overall a good time.
