Andrew Lutzke
RAW
We open with Yankem and Bret pre-taped promos in the cage. “Bret, I’m going to apply the biggest set of braces in WWF history…to your teeth!!” Ugh.
WWF has a PPV in 6 days and big troubles are happening in real life as Shawn Michaels has been beaten up by a slew of Marines and is out of action indefinitely and The Undertaker has suffered a broken orbital bone from Mabel and so he is off the PPV as well. Yokozuna will replace Taker, meanwhile the IC title match is officially up in the air.
Doink vs. HHH
Doink?!?! I totally forgot Doink was around this late, but WWE results tell me he was still occasionally doing TV jobs for the new batch of heels. If I could, I’d turn my TV to Nitro as soon as I heard his theme – I don’t have that option here, so let’s see what he brings to the table. I assume this is Phil Apollo working the gimmick (?)
Doink grabs Hunter’s nose almost right away, a spot that HHH would never approve of now. Lawler cackles about Shawn’s injury. HHH wins with a pedigree in a nothing match.
Barry Horowitz and Hakushi do a bit on Hakushi learning American culture. The punchline is Hakushi is a better student of the baseball game than Horowitz.
PG-13 vs. The Smoking Gunns (WWF Tag Titles)
PG-13 have a bad look and cut a bad promo – perfect combo. They try a double team move early on and end colliding into one another, so they are apparently (kayfabe) bad wrestlers too. JC Ice tries some “martial arts” flips and walks right into a clothesline. Then he lands on his feet off of a back body drop and ends up clotheslined again, A bit later Billy catapults Wolfie D into Ice on the apron and sends him crashing to the floor, Quite the performance by PG 13 here. Sidewinder wins it for the Gunns. Hope that’s the end of PG 13 until the Nation of Domination forms, because they offer nothing.
Ahmed Johnson interview vignette airs, marking his debut with the company. He talks about being poor while growing up.
Dean Douglas vs. Joe Dorgan
Vince and Jerry ignore the match so Vince can explain that “10 thugs” beat up Shawn at a nightclub and Shawn appears via phone call to promise he’ll be at In Your House anyway. Dean wins a match no one cares about.
Goldust does a promo on Marty Jannetty to build to his debut at the PPV Sunday. (Finally a heel the Clique won’t bury!)
Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem (Cage)
Lawler notes that Bret has been in over 50 cage matches in his career but he’s not worried because Yankem will make this an “adventures with dentures” for Bret. Bret tries to escape early and is DRIVEN into the cage by Yankem. Bret chucks Yankem off the cage and tries to get out the door, but it’s revealed that Lawler switched the locks earlier, so Bret can’t escape. Bret launches onto Yankem with a flying clothesline and follows up with the Sharpshooter. He keeps it on long enough to wear down Yankem and tries to escape over the top of the cage until Lawler meets him at the summit and punches him down. This brings out President Gorilla Monsoon, Rene Goulet, Dave Hebner and other stooges and they force Lawler into a shark cage that had been placed at ringside in case Jerry chose to run interference. Bret helps them by slugging Lawler a few times for good measure. Lawler screams about being afraid of heights as Bret and Yankem duel on the top of the cage and this thing plods along until Yankem hits his DDT finisher. Lawler slips the key to the cage lock down to Yankem, but Bret stops him from opening the door and throws away the key. A far shot reveals the small size of the arena they taped this in and a bunch of empty seats on the bottom half of the floor area. (This was now 4 hours into the taping and I’m sure a lot of people were tired and burnt out.) Bret escapes and I’m just glad this show’s over. When I review the PPV in 2 days, I think I’ll have my supply of Old Crow ready.
Nitro
Flair has asked Sting several times in the past few weeks to be his partner. Not on Nitro though. Oddly enough they finally came to a resolution on WCW Pro, which was basically a “C” show for WCW that aired Saturday mornings. We get the clip of Sting warning Flair not to “swerve” him or expect dire consequences. Odd that Luger didn’t agree to help since he and Flair seemed tight on Nitro a few weeks ago. So tonight it’s Arn and Pillman vs. Sting and Ric Flair!
TV Champion DDP vs. Johnny B. Badd
We get another clip of the weekend shows (Did Eric read my complaints on here on here about not showing angles from other shows?) that sets this match up as Badd missed his scheduled US title match with Sting because DDP gave Badd 4 flat tires. Badd confronts Page and decks him, which DDP sells with the most cartoonish bump possible. So WCW has at least five TV shows on in America and they can’t find time to give Badd his earned match with Sting? What was the point of making Pillman vs. Badd at Fall Brawl a number one contender match if they didn’t plan on delivering? Is Paul Orndorff complaining somewhere since he beat Badd 1-2-3 after Badd was declared the number one challenger? PLOT HOLES!!
No match as Badd is cold cocked with the title belt before the match starts and DDP “pins” him despite being DQ’d. Kimberly is not impressed.
Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guererro
These familiar foes trade holds and counters back and forth and the crowd offers a light “Eddy” chant. Eddy botches a teased “619” and flies from the top rope onto Benoit on the floor! Back in both men spill over the top rope in another nasty spot as these guys are going balls out to get recognition on the national stage. Eddy sends Chris into the ringpost but posts himself accidentally. Eddy sells a damaged hand so Benoit bends Eddy’s arm behind his back and drops him with a crisp back body drop. Then delivers another suplex variation with Eddy landing on his own arm. Benoit tries another arm focused suplex and Eddy reverses it and lands in a cover for 2. Benoit whips Eddy over his head by his arm and crunches Eddy’s hand. Eddy springs onto the rope and frankensteiners Chris! Eddy with vicious pair of suplexes. Another light Eddy chant. Eddy goes for the frog splash (Bad psychology considering his arm/hand) and eats kness. Benoit KILLS Eddy with a nasty powerbomb that causes me to audibly gasp. Eddy kicks out! Whoa! Chris is almost rolled up for a flash pin and he grabs Eddy in a full nelson bridge suplex for the 3 count. Fantastic match. Powerbomb should have finished it.
Mean Gene says a top WWF official left them over the weekend (Dillon? Maybe Watts?) and teases a scoop on a top WWF star who was in an altercation with a fan and got the short end of the stick (obviously Shawn) Call his hotline now!
Kevin Sullivan and The Giant promo: The Giant is in amazing condition here, at least 100 pounds lighter than his current frame. Sullivan proclaims himself “evil” and Hogan is good. They robbed Hogan of his moustache and his colors and they will soon take his fans. The Giant offers an okay promo threatening Hogan and shows how big his hand is compared to Mean Gene’s head. Dungeon of Doom are hokey top heels but The Giant sure looks like a killer.
This Saturday at 6:05! Alex Wright vs. Disco Inferno! Hacksaw Duggan vs. VK Wallstreet! Randy Savage vs. Hugh Morris! Hulk Hogan appears!
Disco dances until Meng scares him off. Meng is wearing a goofy looking super hero like mask.
Hacksaw Duggan vs. Meng
Duggan is jumped and the hosses trade punches. Hacksaw FLIES into the turnbuckle and dodges a Meng charge. Then Hacksaw trips…oops. Hacksaw hits some phony looking punches but turns his back on Meng and ends up superkicked in the mush and that KO’s him. Meng jams a “spike” into Duggan and that’s enough to pick up the win. Good solid win to build Meng up for Luger at the PPV.
Hogan (still in black) cuts a promo. He compares himself to Don Corleone. He can drop an elephant with a punch. Promoters beg for more HULKAMANIA. Jimmy Hart chimes in and Hulk tells him to steer clear. If the monster truck mechanics don’t build a strong enough machine for Hogan at the PPV, Hulk with break their bodies and drag them around Detroit. America’s Hero everybody. He calls the Giant “stinky” a lot. Andre and The Giant will share a grave. Shit promo, this!
Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman vs. Sting and Ric Flair
The “Where the Big Boys Play Podcast” recently read news from an old Wrestling Observer Newsletter that revealed that Jim Herd wanted Sting to portray the “VK Wallstreet” gimmick that Mike Rotundo was later given. Steve Borden, Wolf of Wall Street.
Sting is AWOL and Flair goes it alone. Flair chops the crap out of them both and surprisingly dominates them both in and out of the ring. The announcers assume Sting figured out that Flair would swerve him and has chosen to no show. Arn is put in the figure-four and Pillman misses a dive that was supposed to save Arn. Pillman is then put in a figure-four until Arn attacks. Flair eats a spine buster and that brings Sting out. Flair is the face in peril for a bit until Sting makes the hot tag and he takes out both heels. They eat numerous Stinger splashes. Arn is dumped to the floor and Sting tosses Pillman off the top rope and crotches him. That is enough to have Arn and Pillman counted out. Huh. The heels got nothing there. Oddly enough a rematch is already signed for the PPV in 2 weeks. Sting admits he waited to see if Flair was really on his side. The announcers gently mock Sting for trusting Flair.
RAW was dreadful. Nitro had the best match I’ve reviewed for this series so far, therefore Nitro wins by a landside.
Join me Thursday for my review of the WWF Great White North PPV that the last few weeks have been building to.
