Connor McGrath
WWF Monday Night RAW
January 16th, 1995 (Taped January 9th, 1995)
Taped from the Summit in Houston, Texas
Hosts: Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels
Photos courtesy of Stephen Gray and The WWE Network!
It’s the last Monday Night RAW before Royal Rumble ’95! We’re six days away from the big show.
We get a Star Trek parody opening. Monday Night RAW is the Fighting Frontier. William Shatner is in the corner of Bret Hart as Bret Hart boldly goes where he’s never gone before against “Double J” Jeff Jarrett and his sidekick The Roadie!
Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels welcome us to the show in front of a terrible green screen. I never got why they did this. I know WWF was trying to cut expenses but HBK and Vince were at both shows I’m assuming. Why not just have them change shirts or something halfway through?
Shawn Michaels gives us the old Vulcan hand sign. HBK compares Bret Hart Vs Jeff Jarrett to yesterday’s NFC Championship Game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Dallas Cowboys. Except these guys wear no helmets or pads. Shawn Michaels thinks Jeff Jarrett will send the Hitman to a galaxy far, far away. Wrong sci-fi movie!
The Heavenly Bodies (with Jim Cornette) Vs The 123 Kid and Bob Holly
123 Kid and Bob Holly will be taking on Bam Bam Bigelow and Tatanka in the finals of the WWF Tag Team Titles tournament at the Royal Rumble this Sunday. This match is a rematch of the semi-finals match which happened a few days ago on Superstars. The 123 Kid and Bob Holly are the underdogs in the finals, having entered the tournament at the last minute as alternates when The Smoking Gunns had to bow out when Billy and/or Bart had an “unfortunate rodeo accident”. Jimmy Del Ray hits a superkick on Holly and Michaels says he hit him with some Chin Music. Hmmm. That’s an interesting move name there, HBK!
123 Kid and Bob Holly are bigger underdogs in the WWF Tag Team Title tournament finals than the San Diego Chargers are in the Super Bowl! Vince McMahon says the San Diego Chargers are 17.5 point underdogs against the 49ers to show that Monday Night RAW is totally NOT a taped show.
Bam Bam Bigelow, Tatanka and Ted DiBiase come down to watch this match from the aisle. 123 Kid gets a hot tag. Shawn Michaels says he’s not a house of fire, he’s a condominium on fire. Get it? Because he’s small? (Also isn’t HBK as tall as 123 Kid and maybe 15-20 pounds heavier?) Heavenly Bodies attempt a double suplex but Bob Holly breaks it up and 123 Kid hits a fisherman’s suplex on the Gigolo to get the win. Fun match but wish it got a few more minutes.
Vince talks to Bret Hart and William Shatner. HBK has a few questions for CAPTAIN JERK himself. Bret Hart’s got no ring rust despite being off for a month and a half. Shatner promises to watch The Hitman’s back. HBK asks who’s gonna watch his back. Shatner says he took care of Lawler last week and after he’s done, they’ll be calling The Roadie “roadkill”!
Up next! The debut of Mantaur!
Mantaur (with Jim Cornette) Vs Jason Arndt
Mantaur is one of those gimmicks that I’m absolutely dumbfounded as to how anyone ever thought this was a good idea. A guy who is crazy like an animal is not a bad gimmick. It worked for many years for Rhino and George Steele but you take it too far when you actually dress him up like an animal. HBK says Mantaur’s got a face only a mother could love. Vince doesn’t want to meet Mama Mantaur! Mantaur has entered himself into the 1995 Royal Rumble. Mantaur lets out a MOO after a belly to belly suplex on the future Joey Abs. How did WCW think they could compete with this!? Vince McMahon says this week’s Action Zone will feature stars drawing their number for the Rumble. HBK says even if he draws #1, he has what it takes to win the Rumble. Yeah, right! Mantaur wins with a big splash.
Mantaur’s music is almost as awful as his gimmick. HBK asks if that’s Mantaur’s mating call. I sure hope not!
Todd Pettingell is here with our Royal Rumble report and wearing a satin jacket and ugly ass tie. Jeff Jarrett is backstage outside of the Houston Rockets locker room. Todd says anything can happen at a WWF pay-per-view spectacular…and usually does! 30 men duke it out for a WWF World Title shot at WrestleMania XI and Pamela Anderson escorting them to the ring for said title shot. It doesn’t get any bigger than that…except maybe for IRS Vs The Undertaker! It’s the Druids Vs the Urn!
Paul Bearer and Undertaker have some words for IRS. Undertaker says no amount of druids can save him! Plus The Million Dollar Corporation goes for the gold in the WWF Tag Team Titles tournament finals against 123 Kid & Bob Holly! And Diesel defends the WWF World Title against Bret Hart and Razor Ramon defends his WWF Intercontinental Title against Jeff Jarrett. The #1 Contender for the WWF World Title Bret Hart faces the #1 Contender for the Intercontinental Title Jeff Jarrett next. Pettingell asks Double J if he’s worried. Double J says The Hitman is the one who should be worried. Todd says he’s got his money on Bret Hart and Jarrett flips out. Double J is the Las Vegas Kid, he’s gonna beat Bret Hart.
Bret “The Hitman” Hart (with William Shatner) Vs “Double J” Jeff Jarrett (with The Roadie)
Vince McMahon shouts out the manager of the Summit, Mike McGee. He thanked Mike McGee a lot last week but never specified who he was and for some reason, I thought he might have been talking about former WWF ring announcer Mike McGuirk. Roadie does a mic check but unfortunately, we don’t get a promo (or song)
It’s weird they’re playing up the ring rust angle for this match since Hart’s been off for a month and a half and not a year. It seems like the injury aspect would have been smarter to use. Shatner does the Chris Benoit throat cut hand gesture to Roadie. Vince and HBK play up Bret Hart being more aggressive. I wonder if they were gauging the reaction to a possible Hitman heel turn. Hitman was the defacto heel against Diesel at the Rumble too (although you wouldn’t know it by the crowd reaction because the fans overwhelming still rooted for him over Diesel there). Shawn Michaels badmouths William Shatner while plugging TekWar being on after the show. What a pro. Bret wins with a roll-up in a long, slightly disappointing but not bad match. After the match, The Roadie tries to attack Bret Hart but Shatner kicks his ass and throws him out of the ring.
We go to commercial and two months after Macho Man left for WCW, we finally get the new spokesman for Slim Jim, WWF World Champ Diesel. I love Nash but it’s just not the same…
We get a recap of the Bam Bam Bigelow & Tatanka Vs New Headshrinkers WWF Tag Team Titles tournament semi-finals match this weekend. The New Headshrinkers lost after they were distracted by Tatanka attacking Afa. We also the finish to the 123 Kid and Bob Holly/Heavenly Bodies semi-finals match with Jim Cornette’s interference backfiring to give the Kid and Holly the win. It’s The Million Dollar Corporation Vs 123 Kid & Bob “Spark Plugg” Holly in just six days at the Rumble!
Now it’s time for The King’s Court. He has the entire Million Dollar Corporation as his guests. Even IRS’ druids are there. Ted DiBiase hypes up that the Corporation is going 3 for 3 at the Rumble. IRS will beat Undertaker. Bam Bam Bigelow & Tatanka will win the WWF Tag Team Titles and King Kong Bundy will win the 1995 Royal Rumble and then win the WWF World Title at WrestleMania XI. Then the Million Dollar Corporation will have won it all. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! Michaels thinks they might go 2 for 3 but he’s winning the Rumble.
We get a plug for the WWF Superstar Hotline
Mabel (with Oscar) Vs Lee Tobin
Vince McMahon talks about Diesel playing in the MTV Rock N’ Jock celebrity game. Future John Cena fan Jon Stewart was there as was Bobby Bonilla, Roger Clemens, and Coolio! HBK says Diesel can keep on hanging out with Coolio while he’s training to make him look like a Foolio. Vince says Big Daddy Cool will be on Live with Regis & Kathie Lee on Friday. Lee Tobin has apparently borrowed Jerry Lawler’s tights
McMahon asks Michaels how he plans on eliminating Mabel on Sunday. HBK makes him look like an idiot by saying that he doesn’t have to eliminate Mabel, he can get one of the other 28 guys to do it. Mabel squashes Lee Tobin and gets the win.
After the match, Mabel and Oscar talk to Vince and HBK. Mabel says he’s gonna win the Rumble. HBK takes exception to this. King Kong Bundy waddles out and HBK gets squished between those two and HBK makes a funny face. Mabel wants to fight King Kong Bundy right now. Oscar and Ted DiBiase try to tell their men to save the aggression for Sunday.
We get a WCW level cheesy ad for the Rumble where the stars of the WWF give Pamela Anderson the googly eyes as she walks down the beach. Diesel wins a tug of war with a dozen frat bros! Lex Luger gets distracted from spotting Adam Bomb weightlifting!
The Bushwhackers do the Bushwhacker Stomp into a volleyball net!
Pamela ends up going with Luke & Butch over the WWF World Champion Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Lex Luger, and Adam Bomb. It seems kind of unrealistic to me. But I guess The Bushwhackers aren’t worse boyfriend material than Kid Rock.
Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels hype next week’s show, the night after Royal Rumble. The Smoking Gunns will take on the new WWF Tag Team Champions plus an interview with the winner of the 1995 Royal Rumble. Vince asks HBK for his prediction for winner of the Royal Rumble. Really, Vince? Do you think HBK is gonna pick Mo or Dick Murdoch?
The show ends with a music video tribute to WWF World Champion Diesel. Diesel says he’ll see us Sunday at the Rumble. And I’ll see YOU next Wednesday right here at Culture Crossfire!
Next week on RAW: It’s the night after Royal Rumble ’95! Who will win the WWF World Title Match between Diesel and Bret Hart? Who will outlast 29 other men in the 1995 Royal Rumble to earn a World Title shot at WrestleMania XI? Plus The Smoking Gunns face the winners of the WWF Tag Team Titles tournament!
