Connor McGrath
Hope everybody got candy for Valentine’s Day. Let’s see if I get a treat with this week’s ECPW On Fire.
The show opens up with a recap of some of the WOF Title Tournament matches we’ve seen so far (Jumbo Joe Gunns/Andrew Anderson and Giant Pharaoh/Ray Ray Marz) which builds to our opening match this week…
ECPW On Fire Title Tournament Match: The Giant Pharaoh Vs Jumbo Joe Gunns
The Giant Pharaoh is playing the heel this week. We get dueling “Jumbo” and “Pharaoh” chants. This match has got bowling shoe ugly potential since it’s between a huge dude and an old dude. Pharaoh overpowers Gunns and sends him out of the ring. Crowd this week is so small that I very briefly thought it was an empty arena match. Joey G compares Giant Pharaoh to Andre The Giant and I’m sure Culture Crossfire’s old school wrestling expert Andrew Lutzke just spit out his soup. The announcers repeatedly screaming Joe Gunns is done really telegraphs an unlikely comeback. Gunns channels Dusty Rhodes and does a flip, flop, and fly. Lutzke spits out his soup again. Pharaoh threatens the referee after a two count and starts to choke him. Gunns school boys Pharaoh and gets the win on a fast count. I don’t see how that finish is supposed to make anyone look good unless Gunns is going to turn heel heel. Match itself conjured up bad memories of early ’80s WWF squash matches. D
We get a repeat of last week’s vignette where Ken Reedy tries to get Nunzio to join Team WOF. A good way to milk the footage of a former WWE Cruiserweight Champion!
ECPW On Fire Heavyweight Title Tournament Finals: Josef Von Schmidt Vs Jumbo Joe Gunns.
Well, this escalated quickly. The bracketing of this tournament is probably as convoluted as the tournament that crowned Pat Patterson as the first Intercontinental Champion. The crowd heckles Jumbo Joe Gunns. I get startled by what I think is the crowd chanting “Bullshit” which seems out of place for a family friendly show but they’re chanting “Von Schmidt”. Which is still somewhat unusual since Von Schmidt is being portrayed as the heel. Gunns sucker punches Von Schmidt when Von Schmidt offers for a test of strength. Von Schmidt dominates the match. Gunns gets a quick comeback and then Von Schmidt hits him with the belt to earn a DQ. OK, then. Ricky Reyes and Crazy Ivan run in to trigger a wild, locker room clearing brawl. I didn’t think they’d give away the tournament finals this quick but I also didn’t think the tournament finals would be such a huge schmozz. The head of the ECPW Board of Directors says we’ll see a rematch of this match in February but this time, it will be a Lumberjack Match. *shakes head*
So the tournament finals ended in a schmozz because everybody interfered so we’re going to have a rematch where the match’s format is built around the fact that everybody will interfere at some point. The fans chant “Von Schmidt” although they probably should chant “bullshit”. The Giant Pharaoh chokeslams a referee just because. D-
Josef Von Schmidt cuts a promo in his goofy German accent on Jumbo Joe Gunns about the tournament finals. He talks about how much he wants to be the Unified Heavyweight Champion even though he just drew a DQ in the match we just saw. Von Schmidt suggests Gunns runs away or vacating the belt before their match on Valentine’s Day. Von Schmidt says he’s glad that ECPW On Fire’s Valentine’s Day Card is at night so Gunns can kiss his wife and family in the morning and have some happy 2014 Valentine’s memory. Watching this show now, I know ECPW On Fire’s Valentine’s Day show got postponed due to inclement weather. So if nothing else, Jumbo Joe Gunns had an OK Valentine’s Day this year since he didn’t get mauled by Josef Von Schmidt
This show just really sucked. Like getting dryer lint for Valentine’s Day. And last week’s show was pretty good! Today’s show made one of their top babyfaces (Joe Gunns) look like a complete chump unless they’re planning to turn him heel. In which case, he’d still be a chump but at least, being a chump would be a part of his character. It’s one thing for the show to focus around one of the promotion’s worst workers. But for the show to focus on a mediocre worker while consisting of terrible storylines? Well, now this show is just a low rent version of Monday Night RAW. If it hasn’t been obvious in the past ten months I’ve been reviewing this program, it’s a real two steps forward, three steps back type of show. Well, hopefully, next week is a two steps forward show! Have a great President’s Day and remember, even if you have lots of leftover Valentine’s Day candy, to not feed your dogs chocolate!
