Andrew Lutzke
Survivor Series Showdown 91
Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan host
Big Bossman vs. Earthquake
Bossman charges the ring and is greeted with boots from Quake. Bossman rocks him with fists and drops him in a splat. Bossman punches him in the butt cheek and pokes Tenta’s eyes. Quake uses his weight to take control as IRS comes down for cheap shots.
Vince is doing the hard sell of Macho Man possibly being Sid Justice’s replacement at the Survivor Series. Quake wears away at Bossman’s arm. Bossman gets a brief flurry before IRS pulls him out of the ring right in front of the ref. This doesn’t equal a DQ. IRS and Bossman go at it as Typhoon and Jake the Snake run down. The Road Warriors come down to even the odds and the heels run away. This was fine.
We see clips of Ric Flair confronting Hulk Hogan at the Funeral Parlor regarding who the real World’s champion is. The Undertaker emerges from a casket and sneak attacks Hogan. Roddy Piper and Macho Man leave the broadcast booth and save Hogan while wielding chairs. Taker rips off Hogan’s crucifix. Good angle.
Bushwhacker Luke vs. Blake Beverly
Ugh. Luke is jumped but he manages to bite Blake’s butt and gives him a 360 clothesline. The crowd is remarkably dead for all this. Luke gives The Genius a cheap shot for good measure. Blake gets bit again and runs away. Luke chases The Genius to the locker room and the ref doesn’t count him out. I’m mad now. Blake gets a bit of offense in until he misses a splash and is rolled up for the pin. Terrible.
More bait and switch promoting as Mean Gene teases Macho Man being reinstated in time to team with The Bossman and The Road Warriors. The three of them come down for a promo. Bossman and LOD have each other’s back.
Next we see clips of Jake Roberts calling out Macho Man and drawing him into a confrontation which culminates with Macho being bitten by Jake’s snake in one of the most hardcore angles they could’ve run. Savage hobbles around as Liz freaks out at ringside.
Now back to “live” action as IRS, Jake and the Natural Disasters cut a promo with Mean Gene. It’s nice of Jake to have forgiven Quake for having killed Damien only months earlier. Jake promises to maim Macho if he is reinstated for Survivor Series.
Million Dollar Champion Virgil vs. Ted Dibiase
Dibiase outclasses Virgil to start as Virgil shucks and moves like a boxer. He hip tosses Ted around the ring. Million Dollar Man regroups and pummels his under-skilled man servant. A methodical wearing down segment follows, including headlocks, suplexes and fist drops.
Virgil finally fires back up and starts to blitz his former boss. Repo Man appears and “repossesses” the Million Dollar title. He stops long enough to crack Virgil with it and that allows Dibiase to win the match. Ted trash talks Virgil after the match until El Matador appears and saves his friend from further embarrassment. This would set up a tag match for “This Tuesday in Texas” as well as set up a brief feud with Tito and Ted.
Mean Gene interviews Hacksaw Duggan. Gene needs to know who will replace the injured Jim Neidhart on his team. He reveals Sgt. Slaughter as the new member. The crowd is not buying into Sarge’s sudden return to American jingoism.
El Matador vs. Skinner
Skinner is out wrestled and he takes a walk to recover. These two have a technically sound but rather bland ten minute encounter before Matador can crack a forearm to the back of Skinner’s head for the win.
We get a pre-taped Hogan podium interview. Hogan doesn’t fear death. Hulk’s God will help him survive the Gravest Challenge and prove his immortality.
Roddy Piper vs. Hercules
Piper and Herc get chippy and throw wild shots at one another. Herc wears at him with a test of strength and Roddy wisely slips out and pokes Herc’s eye. Herc slugs away but Piper no sells that. Hercules dumps him to the floor. Piper fights back and scores a bulldog for the win in short order. Herc was done trying by this point.
Warlord, Million Dollar Man, The Mountie and Ric Flair join us for a promo. Mr. Perfect and Bobby Heenan tag along too. Actually a very impressive array of talent here. They shout threats at their opponents.
Final thoughts:
Pretty dirty basically telling the fans Macho Man will be back for a shot at Jake and then not delivering at the PPV. Not the way to build good will with your audience.
1992
Ric Flair screams about Mr. Perfect joining Macho Man. Bobby Heenan is bent out of shape as Monsoon tries to introduce the show.
Tatanka vs. Repo Man
Repo hacks away at Tatanka and mocks his war cry. Tatanka mounts a rally and Repo bails. Rick Martel pops in for a brief promo about stealing Tatanka’s feather. What a feud.
Repo screams bloody murder while trapped in an armbar and sells his arm while eating chops. A missed splash sets Tatanka up for enduring an armbar of his own. “Now I got’em” says Repo Man. Tatanka tries a war dance but gets cut off.
Heenan calls Monsoon out on rooting for Mr. Perfect after years of bashing him. Gorilla says any enemy of Heenan is okay with him. Tatanka gets his war dance on and connects with a top rope chop. Repo cuts off the comeback but Tatanka slips him into a Samoan drop for the win. Match was nothing special but I enjoyed Darsow’s campy selling.
We get a recap of Macho Man announcing Mr.Perfect as his partner. Heenan mocks the move and downplays Perfect a little too much so Hennig accepts Macho’s offer and pours water on Heenan after being slapped by the Brain.
Macho and Hennig cut a promo on Flair and Razor Ramon. Hennig and Savage tease a bit of tension but promise to abuse the heels at the PPV.
Marty Jannetty vs. The Brooklyn Brawler
Doink is goofing around at ringside. Fairly standard squash with Brawler getting in a bit of token offense. A bit of an odd match choice as Marty doesn’t have a contest at Survivor Series.
Shawn Michaels joins Heenan and Monsoon to provide commentary for his match with the British Bulldog from a recent edition of Saturday Night’s Main Event.
IC Champ Davey Boy Smith vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn counteracts Bulldog’s power early. He traps Davey in armlock using his legs until the Bulldog dead lifts him, which ends up hurting his back. Smith press slams him and clotheslines HBK to the floor. Shawn regroups and uses Bulldog’s momentum to send him to the floor. With Bulldog down, Michaels loosens up the turnbuckle pad.
Back in Shawn works over his back and locks in an abdominal stretch. Davey Boy flips him off but misses a follow up elbow. Shawn controls for a bit but Bulldog roars back with a slingshot and a delayed suplex.
HBK gets desperate and chucks Smith into the bare turnbuckle. Bulldog powers through the pain and flips Shawn into the corner and attempts a superplex despite still favoring his back. Bulldog’s back gives out mid move and HBK falls on top of him for the title change. Shawn staggers around in pain to put over his cocky-wimp-cheating-yet- lucky bastard persona. This wasn’t nearly as good as I remembered it being.
Tom Petty’s “Making some noise” plays over a Bret Hart video highlight package. This was also recycled from the Saturday Night’s Main event broadcast.
Red Tyler vs. Kamala
Mike McGuirk is wearing a garish purple suit. Kamala chops away at Tyler as we get another basic squash. Heenan and Monsoon play a game of naming gross things that may eat you if you were stuffed in a coffin underground. A splash would end it but Kamala still doesn’t understand how to pin people so he rolls Tyler around a bit until Kim Chee helps him figure it out.
Undertaker building a coffin is shown next as Paul Bearer narrates. I think Mad Dog Vachon’s version was better. I was going to link to that video but it appears to have been wiped off the net. I think I have to go pout for a little while now.
We see clips of Tatanka vs. Kamala from weeks earlier. Paul Bearer comes down with a coffin and Taker pops out – Kamala loses his shit and runs away.
Earthquake vs. IRS
Highlight clips of The Nasty Boyz and Money Inc arguing over who will get a World tag title match against The Natural Disasters air. Then we view Money Inc winning the titles. The Nasties confront Jimmy Hart until Money Inc come down. That prompts a Pit Stop (Hart’s face in Knobbs armpit). Jimmy is tossed on to Money Inc.
IRS tries to wrestle but Earthquake is too big. Hart distracts Quake to buy IRS an opportunity to jump the big man from behind. When that doesn’t work, IRS turns to stalling. Quake splashes Irwin in one corner but runs into a boot when he tries to do it again. Quake shakes that off fairly quickly and squeezes on a bear hug. The Million Dollar Man comes down to assess the problem. Typhoon comes down and growls at Dibiase.
IRS turns to rest holds as this thing begins to drag a bit. IRS tries a flying clothesline and ends up splatting to the cement floor. Back in IRS tries to escape but Quake drags him around by his tie. Quake misses another corner splash attempt. IRS then eats a boot as he tries a top rope elbow. Quake goes for his butt splash but Dibiase trips him up. Million Dollar Man jabs Quake in the eye and the heels scatter.
Money Inc and the Beverly Bros. make a bunch of eye puns as they gloat over their plan working.
Big Bossman vs. Barry Horowitz
Horowitz scores a takedown but Bossman quickly reverses things and gets the duke after his usual array of moves. We get a interview with Nailz spitting all over the place as he screams about their nightstick match.
Sean Mooney runs down the Survivor Series card and actually it’s not too bad considering the roster was depleted.
Razor Ramon and Flair are with Mean Gene. Razor compares Perfect to “that Americano Arnold Benedict”. Flair goes nuts about surviving.
The Headshrinkers vs. Red Fox and Royce Royal
Just another squash match to give the announcers a chance to plug the PPV’s line up one final time.
Bret Hart is interviewed by Vince McMahon at some scenic location elsewhere. Hart’s wearing Aztec boots, a Babe Ruth shirt and a leather jacket –quite the look. Vince is wearing a jacket that could only be acceptable in the 90’s. Hart talks about losing at Summerslam and his redemption when he got a World title shot soon after. Vince lists a bunch of jabronis that Hart has defended his title against in the past few weeks.
An understated interview that was the antithesis of every screaming Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior promo we have seen over the previous 8 years. Vince even mentions that Hogan and Flair have tons more charisma than Bret. Hart explains he’s a wrestler, not a giant, not a body builder and he’ll prove he can be the best.
Final thoughts:
Quite an uninspired effort as we mainly got replays and squash matches. They were really banking on the Mr. Perfect turn to carry the buyrate. The other main event with Bret vs. Shawn saw both men win titles after the match was announced and the match was then retroactively pushed to the main event level.
1993
Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan host a special edition of Monday Night Raw.
Vince covers the line-up changes for the PPV. Lawler is facing legal trouble so he’s replaced by Shawn Michaels. Crush is in for Pierre who Lex Luger took out. Tatanka was injured by Ludvig Borga and he was replaced by The Undertaker. Mr. Perfect is also dropping out of his match and Macho Man is replacing him. They tease a Savage/Crush confrontation despite the fact that they aren’t in the same match.
World Champion Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart
Yoko looks decent here yet compared to the much larger version of him I’ve been watching lately on 1996 Raws. Hart blitzes Yoko right away and the barrage ends with Yokozuna bouncing to the floor and wobbling into a ring post. This allows time for the camera to pan out and the tiny arena they are taping in is made obvious.
Hart continues the assault with a low blow and a number of punches but Yoko swats him down like King Kong batting an airplane. Hart’s face is torn into as Yoko begins his attack. A nerve pinch of doom eats up some time among some other fat man offense. Bret gets a brief hope spot on the floor but Yoko uses a chair to take Hart down and out.
Hart attempts another comeback but Yoko drops him down again and leg drops the Hitman. Yoko tries his corner splash but misses. Hart uses a series of clotheslines to knock Yoko off his feet. Fuji tries to get involved and Hart slugs him for his efforts. A bulldog stuns Yoko for a near fall. A second rope elbow fails to secure the win. Hart comes up limp and that allows Yoko to deliver a belly-to-belly suplex. Yoko goes for an uncharacteristic splash and misses. Hart locks on the sharpshooter.
Owen Hart wanders down for some reason and the ref leaves the submission attempt to admonish Owen. Since they used the salt-in-the-eyes trick at Wrestlemania, Fuji instead just cracks Hart with the salt bucket. Owen grabs it and smacks Yoko with it for the DQ. Match was fine but that finish was shit.
Todd Penttengill runs down the Survivor Series card and promises an event that will “change the nation”.
Marty Jannetty vs. IRS
Jannetty outhustles IRS and that sends Irwin to the floor quickly. We return from commercial to find IRS with a headlock snagged on. IRS ups the workrate with an abdominal stretch. JR name-drops Wilbur Snyder for creating the move and Vince is probably aghast at this wrasslin’ talk. Marty gets a flurry in before a violent flying clothesline ends it. IRS, as always, is dreadfully dull.
Reo Rogers Round up with Shawn Michaels. Reo is Bruce “Brother Love” Pritchard dressed as a cowboy and doing a Dusty Rhodes impression. They go to meet Bret Hart’s parents. It turns out to be two actors in old people masks. Wrestlecrap.
Heenan tries to claim this is the most loaded Survivor Series he’s ever been a part of. LIES.
Final thoughts:
Other than the novelty of a big time title match on free TV, this was a pretty weak show. It appears this may be an edited version of an event that may have aired a bit earlier as several reviewers have additional matches and a different match order in their reviews. Unless you really want to see Bastion Booger in a squash match, this condensed version should suit you fine.
