Andrew Lutzke
January 22nd, 1996
We open with clips of Nitro from 24 hours earlier to catch the fans up on the tag team and World title changes.
Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan call the action.
Mean Gene is at “The Little White Chapel” in Las Vegas to await Col. Parker and Sister Sherri’s marriage ceremony.
The Nasty Boyz vs. Public Enemy
When I watched this with my Grandpa 18 years ago, he was appalled by the brawling and stated “This ain’t wrasslin’”. I’d bet watching the Vachons and Bruiser and Crusher bleeding and brawling all over each other 25 years prior to this made him happy though.
All four men brawl. (I know, I’m shocked too) Sags and Rocco find their way to the floor and Rocco ruins his manhood by landing crotch first on the barricade. Sags gets a table. They trade off opponents and everybody walks around and slugs away. Sags piledrives Grunge and the Boyz set the table up. This isn’t a hardcore match by the way, the ref is just being lenient. Knobbs ends up being moonsaulted through the table as the ref throws the match out. Saggs uses pieces of the table to abuse Public Enemy – including a nasty spot where he just chucks the table over the top rope and bounces it off Grunge’s head. Ok, Grandpa was right, this was pretty bad.
Alex Wright vs. Dean Malenko
The men trade head scissor takedowns and several other holds/counterholds. Malenko gets caught with another head scissors and he takes the bump like a hurricanrana. The Iceman starts to work over Wright’s knee with a diving dropkick into it and follows that up by wrapping the leg around a ringpost. Dean gets a nasty looking leg hook take down. Wright ruins that psychology by going for a flying crossbody. Alex hits a superplex and a German suplex. Alex misses a dropkick and Dean goes back after his knee, because somebody has to try and tie the match story together, and clearly Wright isn’t going to. Dean then gets a roll up for the pin. Match was fine but didn’t live up to its potential as Alex ignored the knee work off and on and the finish was flat.
“The Taskmaster” Kevin Sullivan vs. Disco Inferno
What an odd match up. Disco no shows and a fat Elvis impersonator comes down. He does a TERRIBLE Elvis impression and reads a singing telegram. Sullivan slugs the geek and double stomps him. Well that was a waste of time.
Dick Slater and Bunkhouse Buck join Mean Gene and inform us the groom is still absent.
Lex Luger and Sting come out for a promo. Lex brags about the title win while Sting looks away disapprovingly. The Road Warriors come down and Sting is happy to see them. They challenge Sting and Lex to a title match. Sting agrees but Luger says other teams like “State Patrol” have earned title matches first.
We get a special interview with Paul Orndorff. He announces that the doctors have told him that his neck surgery will end his career. He puts over psychic Gary Spivey for motivating him. Orndorff’s backstage fight with Vader is alluded to. Paul claims he turned down a spot in the Four Horsemen and they held a grudge for years about it. Orndorff promises to return and avenge himself. Then we see Gary Spivey is in attendance and any seriousness the promo created is dissipated.
Col. Parker shows up at the Chapel and reveals he lost all his money gambling.
Eddy Guerrero vs. “The Loose Cannon” Brian Pillman
Pillman runs around yelling like a loon. Pillman avoids a lock up and yells at more fans. Schiavone is shoved. Eddy dropkicks Pillman to the floor and Brian climbs on Heenan. Bobby screams “What the fuck are you doing!!” Live TV everybody. Heenan walks away as Pillman stalls some more. Bobby apologizes for his language as the wrestlers trade stiff chops. Several dropkicks send Pillman fleeing. Eddy hits a tornado DDT. Both men collide in mid-air and Brian yanks on Eddy’s tights for the win. Completely disappointing match given the participants.
Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage and Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker Kevin Greene come out for a promo. They all do Macho’s “Oh Yeah!” Greene promises to tackle the Giant. Hogan wants to know who gets to bang Elizabeth after the show – Greene says he’ll fight Hogan for her, Hogan says she already proved to be too much for Macho to handle, Savage says you can have her.
World tag team champions Sting and Lex Luger vs. Steve Regal and Earl Robert Eaton
Regal does a muscle pose so Sting does a royal bow. Sting and Regal trade some arm-work. Regal takes some comedy bumps from both faces. Luger and Eaton tag in and Bobby is back dropped onto the cement. Regal stooges for Luger and then screams “UNHAND ME! UNHAND ME!” when Lex tries a lock up. Luger takes abuse from both heels including a flying kneedrop from Eaton and a Regal stretch (modified STF) from his Lordship. Sting saves him. Sting tags in and the heels have a miscue that leads to a Scorpion Death lock for the win. Wacky fun.
Harlem Heat are at the Chapel bemoaning the food. Sherri shows up and appears drunk.
Bischoff brings out Pillman for a promo. Brian teases that he will say the 7 words that are banned on TV.
Konnan vs. Psicosis
Mike Tenay joins Bobby and Tony because researching is hard so Tenay is here to provide info on the international stars. Remember when Tenay was good? Konnan uses more workrate than he’ll ever use in WCW again as he hits a flying armdrag and then rolls Psicosis into a submission lock. Konnan uses the rolling German suplexes and then rolls Psicosis thru and locks on a Boston crab. That is transitioned into another stretching submission move. The crowd is dead but I’m loving this. Konnan is basically working spot to spot with out transitional moves but the uniqueness of the offense is entertaining to watch.
Psicosis locks on a crucifix submission but Konnan escapes it and locks in a knee bar. More fast faced hip tosses lead to a big DDT from Konnan. Konnan wanders to the floor so Psicosis can show off his tope. Konnan nails a German suplex from the top rope while vining his own legs over the top rope so only Psicosis flew thru the air. A “standing figure four” earns a submission win. I didn’t buy that last move but this was a heck of a spotfest. Konnan may never be this entertaining again.
Sherri is changing in the back of a limo. Buck and Slater are sneaking peeks. Mean Gene walks Sherri down the aisle and interviews her along the way. Slater looks sad. Stevie Ray looks disgusted as the nuptials unfold. Madusa comes out of Col. Parker’s trailer and starts a cat fight. Good fun.
Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs. The Giant and Ric Flair
Woman, Linda, Debra and several other women join the faces. Then we get Miss Elizabeth’s entrance. Flair mocks Kevin Greene so Greene gets in the ring and goes into the 3 point stance. Flair wisely takes a walk after that.
Savage and Flair start and Ric bumps all over for Randy. The Nature Boy is flipped over the top rope and wanders into the big boot of Hogan. Savage continues to dominate so Flair tags in the Giant. Savage tags out to Hogan. The Giant chucks Hogan into the corner twice and then Hogan takes a weak bump off a shoulder block. Hogan tries a slam but the Giant is having none of that. The Giant clubs away and traps Hogan in back breaker. Hogan thumbs his eye and slams The Giant.
Flair takes advantage of Hogan being hurt yet and suplexes him. Hogan starts to no sell so Flair pokes his eye. Hogan is yanked to the floor and The Giant was supposed to slam him into the railing but Hogan doesn’t take the bump. Hogan is awkwardly thrown back into the ring and he starts to no sell Flair’s offense again. All four men end up in the ring. The Giant is clotheslined to the floor and he yanks Hogan out after him. Savage hits the big elbow on Flair but Jimmy Hart distracts the ref and Savage and Flair hits Randy with a foreign object for the pin. The Zodiac and Pillman run in and Hogan beats on them despite being outnumbered. Kevin Greene helps Hogan toss them out. This match was another mess as Hogan and The Giant were on totally different wavelengths on half the moves they tried and Hogan couldn’t be bothered to actually sell any moves the other half of the time.
The faces were originally scheduled to win the main event by the way, but Flair threw a fit about losing the World title the night before so he was put over here to make amends.
Woman was originally brought in to turn on Hogan and join Savage as a heel pair. Elizabeth being signed changed that plan and pushed Hogan vs. Savage back further.
Final thoughts: The super hype job that was done on TV the 2 weeks before the Clash led to a massive rating for this event, but the legion of fans who tuned in saw a bad show. The night flew by but none of the matches delivered a real quality contest and the highlights of the show was sports entertainment hijinx. Big disappointment overall.
