Jonathan Dehn
What You Missed…
Cameron vs. AJ Lee – I have great news. The Cattle Mutilation made it to WWE! The problem is that Cameron used it as a transition move. In what is a forgettable match, AJ wins after Cameron bails but is tossed back in by Naomi (DQ??) to get taken down with a Shining Wizard. Also, the ring is stained with Cameron’s lip gloss, as that’s who she is now.
Adam Rose w/ Summer Rae vs. Fandango w/Layla – Summer and Layla brawl, of course. Fandango does a shitty job of separating them and gets counted out. Rose hits the Party Foul afterwards. I wonder if anyone has listened to Curtis Axel mention that’s also his finisher. Sure, Axel could just use the Perfect-plex as his finisher, but that would make far too much sense in this world of Cameron throwing out old Jericho and Bryan finishers in the middle of matches.
Titus O’Neil and Heath Slater vs. The Usos – Titus and Heath don’t seem so upset about teaming with each other as much as visually depressed about their current situations. They claim to be partnering up after ditching their lesser partners. This is merely a squash where Heath makes The Usos look good. After the match, The Usos cut a pretty…terrible promo where they do mock play-by-play of their match against Harper and Rowan at Battleground.
Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho – Cole and JBL took a couple of minutes out of this *** match to pitch The Network to us. I guess it’s good to keep reminding fans of the good old days and not trying to make the current show better. So, Jericho goes down to an RKO after being distracted by Bray Wyatt via screen effect. Jericho looked good here.
Layla vs. Summer Rae – Fandango is the special guest referee, as this show is just tossing things out there. Fandango keeps them apart after getting a kiss from each. Fandango dances for both of them while Cole once again pokes fun at JBL being uncomfortable with Fandango dancing atop the announce table at Raw. Summer and Layla both beat up Fandango and he runs off. I thought Dolph was in this story line. Anyways, it’s over. Summer and Layla reconcile by dancing with each other, because girls just gotta dance. Never change, Kevin Dunn.
Curtis Axel w/Ryback vs. Goldust w/Stardust – Stardust works the crowd from the barricade while the match goes on inside. Stardust taunts Axel from the announce table to help Goldy take over. The Final Cut gets Goldust the win. Ryback attacks Goldust after the match, but Stardust makes the save, blowing “stardust” in his face and pulling down the rope on him.
Diego and El Torito vs. Bo Dallas – Can Bo defy the odds?? This lasts about two minutes before Diego is defeated. The run continues. Bo throws El Torito into the ring after the match and shows concern. This is just a setup for Bo to hit another BO-dog. Dallas is putting in some good work.
Rusev w/Lana vs. Roman Reigns – I’d argue this was solid and **. The timing was there, but both guys are still pretty raw. Orton interferes for the DQ. Rusev kicks Orton’s head off but calls him off for Orton to attack Reigns, instead. He hits an RKO to finish this up.
1. Roman Reigns versus Rusev
This was a poor idea for a few reasons. First of all, the crowd doesn’t really care about this match once it happens, as they’re just waiting for a couple of spots and are listless for most of the match. The quality just isn’t there. With the way they had to go, even the crowd there most likely saw the ending coming a mile away. Neither guy is ready to lead. If this were on Raw, it would be exposing in the way that Reigns vs. Wyatt was.
Also, Roman Reigns cut a pretty shitty promo on Rusev to start the show. “Assess And Attack” is a lousy catchphrase and, coming soon, a lousy thing to print on a t-shirt.
2. Titus O’Neil and Heath Slater: Tag Team Partners
I found some sort of humor in these guys tagging and looking so downtrodden and beaten before the bell even rang. At no point did Heath even have a moment to gyrate his hips. This pairing just points out how random and shortsighted some of the releases and general creative decisions have been recently. To be fair, WWE hasn’t had sustained lower-midcard success since before the proliferation of broadband internet.
However, I’d still like to see these two team and get some vignettes that we’ll all enjoy before they too are broken up to “strike while the iron is hot” on Titus O’Neil.
3. Yes, Orton versus Jericho is the perfect time to plug The Network.
Right now, if you go to the WWE Superstars page, you are first blocked with a pop up for The Network. It’s obnoxious. Also obnoxious was WWE not toning it down and selling Orton/Jericho as the match between a legend and habitual upper card wrestler Randy Orton. Instead, we were told for about two minutes how great these guys were in the past, and how you can relive their past glories through WWE Network.
WWE misses the point once again. For all the trolling they do against the hardcore fans and dimwits like me, they should quietly be giving us our nostalgia; good and bad. What they should not be doing is skimping on new original programming. Legends House might cost upwards of $4,000,000, but it’s an important investment towards the future of The Network. Taking a page from similar shows, they can stretch out the season to cover half a year and make it a cornerstone of the company going forward. I can’t be the only one who wants to see Mick Foley in the house with Sean Morley and having spirited political debates that turn into Mick getting legitimately pissed off and cutting angry promos. Anyways, Chris looked great, and perhaps better than he did in certain parts of his prime. Not bad for a guy turning 44 in November.
4. Never Stop BOlieving
I’d argue strongly that the most entertainment coming from this show was provided by Bo Dallas and this gimmick that he is absolutely nailing at every turn. Another entertaining segment of the show couples well with his Vine from today where he comforts the sports fans of Miami with his inspirational words.
Hopefully, Vince catches on and we can see where this leads.
5. Protect Jericho, Assclowns! (that insult is not as funny as I remember it)
We are under no illusions. Jericho is here to put over Bray Wyatt and cement him as a main event player, and just in the nick of time, no less. To that end, don’t have him be distracted and then eat an RKO from Orton. Jericho is to be protected and repaired after putting over Fandango at WMXXIX. He should be winning, and winning against Rowan and Harper while they also take aim at Jimmy and Jey.
Hopefully, someone in charge notices that there won’t be anything left to gain for Bray if an unmanned distraction is enough to result in a Jericho loss. Let’s just retire distractions all together and go back to real, violent run-ins. If you’re going to protect someone, they don’t lose focus and stare out towards the ramp for five seconds after hitting a finisher.
