Andrew Lutzke
Just to show how much plans changed in WCW during this period, this was the original line-up for this PPV:
Doomsday Cage: Hulk Hogan vs. Kevin Sullivan, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Loch Ness
Street Fight: Lex Luger and Sting vs. The Road Warriors
Col. Parker vs. Sherri Martel
Johnny B. Badd vs. DDP
Randy Savage vs. Brian Pillman
The Giant vs. The Shark (This was when The Giant was booked to turn on the Dungeon before that angle was dropped)
US title: Konnan vs. Belfast Bruiser
Zero of these matches happened, and this was the plan within six weeks or so of this PPV taking place.
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Before the show, Dean Malenko lost to Jerry Lynn in a Cruiserweight title tournament match. The finals of the tournament had already occurred in Japan where Shinji Otani beat Chris Benoit for the title.
A kind of awesome promo plays of all the heels in the main event warning Hulk Hogan of his pending doom. Much maniacal laughter follows.
Dusty, Heenan and Tony Schiavone are calling the action. Heenan is wearing leather in case blood splatters on him.
US Champion Konnan vs. Eddy Guerrero
Konnan is dressed like a melted box of Crayolas. Konnan grapples Eddy to the mat and ties him into a knot. Eddy flips Konnan across the ring to escape and starts to lock in various leg holds. They work some lucha roll-ups and Eddy keeps the pressure on with a bow-and-arrow.
Konnan twists away at Eddy’s ankle. The crowd is dead from all the mat work. They wake up a bit when the men start to get chippy and slap each other. Crowd starts an “Eddy” chant, so Konnan plays to the crowd until they cheer his name, instead.
Konnan is Frankensteinered from the top rope. Eddy locks on a camel clutch but Konnan powers out. More mat work (rest holds) from Konnan as the camera pans around to try and hold the viewers attention.
Eddy lands on his feet on a monkey flip, nails a head scissors take down and delivers a plancha in a hot series. Konnan recovers and goes back to the mat work. Konnan continues to play to the crowd in an effort to appear over. Konnan nails a German suplex and a nasty powerbomb. Eddy is then chucked to the floor. Eddy catches Konnan on the top rope and delivers a desperation super-plex.
Eddy tries a leap frog and his balls meet Konnan’s head. Konnan quickly pins him before he can recover. This match was a disappointment. They tried to make Eddy the aggressor so Konnan would be cheered, but the fans didn’t want to root against Guerrero. Konnan was pretty exposed here, as he wasn’t able to go 15+ minutes without blowing up.
THE BIG NASTY WART INFESTED GIANT is calmly sitting by a computer and chatting with WCW fans online. I laughed hard.
Col. Parker does some women bashing. Mean Gene smiles slyly. Gene warns him not to touch Madusa’s lady parts.
David “The Belfast Bruiser” Finley vs. Lord Steven Regal
Finley wallops Regal with stiff chops and punches. Regal whips him down and grinds his elbow in his face. They trade more stiff blows and Regal locks him in a modified headlock and then wraps his arm and head up into another torturous hold.
They spill to the floor and Regal’s shoulder is driven into the steel pole. Stiff forearms are shared back in the ring. Regal cranks on an elbow bar. Regal punches his way off the mat and gives Finley a healthy dose of European uppercuts. A nasty kick to the chest and a stiff clothesline downs his Lordship.
They trade blows on the floor. Regal suplexes Finley off the apron and to the cement and then drops a flying elbow! Dusty is actively trying to ruin this match with inane commentary on geography. Regal distracts the ref and kicks Bruiser’s family jewels. Regal jabs a knee in Finley’s face while yanking away on his arm.
Regal slams forearms across Finley’s nose. Regal stops to trash talk and is popped in the face. A stiff shot apparently busts Regal’s nose. Regal sends him flying over the top rope with his legs and the men brawl down to the Doomsday cage where Earl Robert Eaton and David Taylor run in for a 3 on 1 beat down. That earns a DQ. Good, hard hitting match with a bad ending.
The Giant makes rhymes about Ric Flair and Loch Ness. Giant calling out Ric Flair can’t be good for the “Alliance to End Hulkamania” synchronicity.
Loch Ness is upset that he was removed from the Doomsday cage match. He will crush The Giant for revenge. Mean Gene insults Loch Ness’ teeth to tempt fate as we fade to black.
Madusa vs. Col. Robert Parker
Madusa’s implants are already out of control. Parker drives her into the turnbuckle and flexes like a good heel. Parker tries an airplane spin but makes himself dizzy. The announcers are chortling like this is the most amusing thing they have ever seen. Parker gives her a standing choke and slams her into the mat. Madusa dropkicks him to the floor and planchas him. Colonel catches her so she doesn’t break in half. Madusa drops him with a German suplex but Dick Slater takes her leg out and Parker steals the pin. Silliness.
The Road Warriors are going to make Sting and Booker T invalids and leave them needing diapers the rest of their lives.
Kimberly and $6,000,000 on the line – Plus DDP will retire if he loses: The Booty Man vs. DDP
Page has sold his wrestling gear off because he is broke. They both stall for as long as possible. They lock up and stall some more. Ugh. Booty sends DDP to the floor and grinds his hips. Nick Patrick shoves DDP and he takes a head over heel bump. DDP is battered into each turnbuckle and he flops to the floor, into the ringpost and over the railing.
Kimberly comes down in a ridiculous looking skirt. Heenan accurately asks, “Is she wearing a feather duster?” DDP blows some hip toss spot and takes a back bump. The announcers crap on him for that. Rest holds abound as DDP takes over. Is there some kind of mercy rule for wrestling reviewers? This drags on forever until DDP forces a kiss from Kimberly and is slapped. He walks into a flying knee and is pinned. Kimberly is kissed by Booty Man and faints. God awful DULL 16 minutes.
Jimmy Hart loves Lex Luger but he is quitting as his manager for reasons left unclear.
Loch Ness vs. The Giant
Giant chops Ness into the corner. Loch Ness slams forearms in response. Giant misses a charge and flies over the top rope and to the floor. Loch Ness drops a big elbow, but misses a second one, Giant knocks him over and hits a leg drop for the pin. A stinker.
Chicago Street Fight: The Road Warriors vs. Sting and Booker T
The Warriors jump them in the aisle. Hawk is driven into the post by T. Sting has his testicles meet ring post by Animal and he gives Animal the same treatment. Hawk no sells a piledriver on the cement floor.
All four men brawl around ringside and trade blows. Sting wallops Animal with a chair and then gives Hawk the same medicine. Then he sets the chair down and lets Animal whack him and T with it. Hawk powerbombs Sting as Animal chokes out T. Sting is battered by both Warriors on the floor. Sting misses a Stinger splash and eats a big clothesline. A “Doomsday Device” is broken up by T.
Sting misses a flying splash and Hawk flies into Booker T’s dropkick – leaving all four men down. Animal breaks a bottle over T’s head. Hawk nails a flying clothesline to T and they lay around.
They continue to walk around and exchange blows in a somewhat plodding fashion as the announcers put over the fatigue. Repeat the walking around and hitting blows sentence to cover the next 10 minutes.
Sting cracks Animal with a pair of brooms. The Road Warriors acquire the brooms and start to choke T and Sting out. Animal and T go to the back. Animal runs into Lex Luger preening. Stevie Ray and Lex help T beat down Animal and cuff him to a pole. Stevie Ray then follows T back to the ring and hits Hawk with a chair and T gets the pin at 29 minutes. These are NOT the men to book in a 30-minute match! Not a very inspired match. Half the time and twice the plunder would have saved this one from dragging on.
DOOMSDAY CAGE: Z-Gangsta, Ultimate Solution, Barbarian, Meng, Arn Anderson, Ric Flair, Lex Luger and Kevin Sullivan vs. Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan
This is a multiple tiered cage that is set up by the entrance and not in the middle of the arena. I’m sure the live fans were thrilled. Hogan and Macho Man have to start at the top and fight their way through all the heels that are spread in different segments of the structure.
Arn and Flair are on the top in cage 1. They are the first line of defense. Macho is chopped and dropped by Flair. Hogan largely abuses Arn and Flair. The Enforcer is grated across the cage. They show some outside of the cage shots that indicate that the paying fans in the arena fans can’t see shit.
Arn and Flair both lock figure fours on the faces. Hogan and Savage use powder to escape to the next level where Luger, Sullivan, Barbarian and Meng are all waiting within. Hogan finds a chain and assaults Sullivan. Luger saves him and gleefully chokes away on Hogan. Savage tries to survive a battering from Meng and Barbarian. Hogan traps the Faces of Fear into a divided part of the cage and locks them in. Flair and Arn join them in the trap.
Hogan and Sullivan brawl out on the scaffolding next to the cage and Sullivan hangs perilously off the edge WAY up high up in a cool visual. Savage and Luger join soon after and the brawl goes to the floor. Flair, Arn, and the Faces of Fear escape…and just go to the locker room.
Hogan takes Sullivan to the ring and abuses him. Luger roughs up Macho Man. Sullivan takes over beating down Savage as Hogan kicks Luger’s butt around the cage and then in the ring. Sullivan breaks off a piece of the scaffold only for Savage to use it on him.
All four remaining men trade chair shots. Lex and Sullivan are tossed together and that draws out Z-Gangsta and The Ultimate Solution from the back. They drag Hogan and Savage back to the Doomsday cage. They club our heroes with minimal selling in return. Zeus chokes Hogan out as the Solution press slams Macho Man.
Arn and Flair return from wherever they were hiding and a 4 on 2 beat down ensues. Suddenly, The Booty Man appears and hands Macho and Hogan frying pans. Hogan and Savage toss powder in Zeus’ and The Ultimate Solution’s eyes and beat down Arn and Flair with the frying pans.
Then Lex Luger runs back out and accidentally (?) cracks Flair with a loaded glove. Hogan and Savage try and leave, then Savage runs back in and pins Flair. No one – including the participants seemed to know exactly how that match was supposed to end.
A total mess, but it was car wreck entertaining and I enjoyed it more than the tag match that proceeded it.
Final thoughts: Finley/Regal needs to be seen. The main event should probably be viewed as well for pure historical Wrestlecrap completionist reasons. Everything else is largely skippable.
Somehow I’m willing to bet Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels from a week after this card will be better than that main event mess we got here tonight.
