Jonathan Dehn
WWE Monday Night Raw
11/04/2013
This is from some place in the U.S. that WWE doesn’t want to admit visiting.
CM Punk vs. Luke Harper w/Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan
Punk and Harper battle in the corner to start, with Harper getting the better of it with some hard right hands. Punk fights back, but takes a European uppercut or two. Harper is duped and falls outside, but gets a forearm up on the dive attempt from Punk. Luke gets a slam and an elbow drop. Harper gets the Gator Roll to grind down Punk. Harper misses a corner charge, and falls outside. Punk gets the drive this time, and Rowan approaches as we go to break.
Harper has a chinlock when we return. Punk is caught off by Harper in the ropes, and Harper follows with a guillotine. Harper gets one from a couple of elbow drops and continues to dominate. Punk gets out of a chinlock and gets an elbow up in the corner. He follows with a tornado DDT. They slug it out after getting to their feet. Punk gets the leg lariat and spinning neckbreaker. CM Punk gets the corner knee, clothesline and elbow drop, only he decides to jump outside onto Rowan. Punk gets the boot up on the apron and springboards off into another big boot from Harper. Punk rolls Harper up off of the clothesline attempt and gets the win.
After the match, Rowan and Harper jump Punk. The fans call for Daniel Bryan as Bray Wyatt enters the ring. Bryan runs down to the ring with a huge pop to save Punk. Using a steel chair, the faces sends The Wyatts scurrying as everyone gets their Indy Mega Powers teaming up and the crowd goes crazy.
Final Thoughts: ***, as this was a good match that had its own self-contained payoffs. Also, it’s fun to have Bryan and Punk finally teaming up.
-CM Punk Is backstage with Renee, and says he’s used to being outnumbered, but he’s surprised to be with someone who also has a grudge against The Wyatt Family.
-Paul Heyman joins us on the phone to list off his injuries and says that what Punk did to him is inexcusable. Paul hangs up the phone, perhaps in tears.
Ryback vs. The Great Khali
This should be quick, right? This was set up by Ryback bullying Hornswoggle. They battle of a lockup for a while. Ryback gets a chop and then cuts clubbed in the corner, and chopped in the chest. Khali holds Ryback by the ear and gives him a couple more chops. Khali battles out of a Shell Shocked attempt and gets an elbow and boot up on a corner charge. Khali gets a couple of clotheslines, but Ryback wins with the Meathook. After the match, Ryback targets Santino and beats him up on the outside, tossing him into the barricade. Hornswoggle hides under the ring.
Final Thoughts: That was everything we thought it would be.
Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio quickly attacks and takes control. Kofi leapfrogs a couple of times and get a flying back elbow. Kofi clothesline Del Rio out and flips onto him on the outside. Back inside, Kofi gets two. Del Rio blocks the countering corner kick from Kofi and gets a double stomp in a slick counter. Del Rio comes off the top with a double axe handle. Tying Kofi in the ropes, Del Rio pounds away, getting in a couple of kicks and an enzuigiri for two. There’s some cool stuff here. Kofi fights back, but gets German suplexed for two.
Del Rio mocks Kofi, hits a corner kick to the arm and then a snap suplex for two. Kofi gets a sunset flip for two, but runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Del Rio goes to the chinlock. Del Rio misses the corner enzuigiri and Kofi splashes down onto his back for two. Kofi gets the boot up in the corner and gets a ‘rana, followed by a crossbody from the top for two. Kingston gets some chops and dropkick. ADR ducks a clothesline, hits a kick to the gut, but gets rolled up for two. Kofi goes for the SOS, but Del Rio reverses into the cross armbreaker. Despite battling to reverse it, Kofi has to tap out.
Final Thoughts: **3/4. This was a fun sprint between the two, maybe helping Del Rio get back into the title picture.
Randy Orton vs. Big E Langston
Orton cuts a promo about being a bedtime fantasy before the match. This is a WWE Application vote. Big E beat Dolph and Miz easily. Orton gets some offense in to start, and grabs a side headlock. Langston hits a beastly shoulderblock that sends Orton scurrying outside. Big E powers out of a rear waistlock and takes Orton over with his own. Big E absorbs some strikes and gets a back elbow. Orton takes a punch to the stomach and hides outside. Orton sneaks in a dropkick for just one. Randy goes for the hanging DDT but Langston has none of that and dumps Orton to the apron before charging and knocking him down to the barricade. We hit a break.
We’re back with Big E hitting some punches in the corner and following with a clothesline that sends Orton retreating again. On the outside, Big E counters and slams Orton’s head into the stairs. Orton gains some control and puts Big E inside. At the apron, Big E goes to knock Orton into the barricade again, but misses and tumbles. Randy gets a clothesline and puts Big E back inside for two. Orton stomps away. We hit the chinlock, but Langston runs Randy into the corner and gets a big shoulderthrust.
Big E powers up with some clotheslines and gets a big belly to belly suplex and hits his big splash for two. Orton answers with a backbreaker for two and tosses Big E into the steel post. Orton gets the hanging DDT. Randy takes ten years to set up for the RKO. Langston counters and runs through Orton. The straps come down, but Orton reverses The Big Ending with the RKO for the win. There are still so many women who love Randy Orton, depending on the city. They must have read the entire Fifty Shades of Grey series.
Final Thoughts: **1/2. This wasn’t a “good” match, but was a pretty fresh matchup that made Big E look like a future contender.
Fandango & Summer Rae vs. Tyson Kidd and Natalya
Tyson Kidd probably hasn’t had a match on Raw in maybe two years. Kidd is down from a shoulderblock, but hops back up to put Fandango in the corner after a seated dropkick and just being lightning fast and Daniel Bryan’s favorite wrestler to publicly support. So, Fandango and Natalya face off. There’s some trash talk. Nattie gets distracted and clotheslined from Fandango. Summer gets a DDT and a bulldog for two. Rae gets a bodyscissors. Nattie turns around and picks up Rae. Summer gets a sunset slip and there’s a double clothesline that brings in Tyson and Fandango.
Kidd gets in some strong kicks and brings Fandango outside with a ‘rana. Kidd hits a loud boot to Fandango and goes up to do more damage. He’s distracted by Summer Rae and gets tripped up on the apron. Back inside, Fandango goes up to the top but gets caught by Kidd on the way down and taps to the Sharpshooter, while Nattie takes care of Summer.
Final Thoughts: *1/2. This was alright, but a bit lacking due to its natural limitations. It’s fun to see Tyson Kidd out there and getting some babyface pops and being made to look good for the first time in years. Furthermore, he has normal hair now, which should do wonders for him.
-Renee is backstage with Damien Sandow. He relives his failures from last week. Sandow pretty much is ditching the intellectual savior character and is now just Cena fodder, I suppose. The Real Americans pop up to say hello before their upcoming six man.
-They’re driving this Big Show lawsuit case into our faces with clips tonight. It’s a bit much.
John Cena, Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The Real Americans and Damien Sandow
Before the match, Cena wraps up the Komen month. Sandow starts with Cena. Alberto Del Rio joins Zeb at the table. Sandow and Cena duke it out, with Cena getting a bulldog. Cody tags in and there’s a double back elbow. Cody gets a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Damien fights back and Swagger enters. Goldust comes in and gets a dropkick with help from Cody. Goldust ducks a clothesline, hits a snapmare and an elbow drop. Cody comes in for the double arm wringer and gut punch. Cesaro tags in, and faces off with Cena. John wants him all to himself. Cool stuff here. They battle over a lockup, with Cesaro winning.
Cena wins the following lockup. They lock fingers and fight over leverage. Cesaro breaks it with a boot and gets a European uppercut that staggers Cena. Cena gets a suplex for just one and goes to the chinlock. Goldy tags in and gets a double suplex for two. Goldust works the arm a bit and brings in Cody, who gets a face first suplex. Sandow enters after Cesaro fights back, and drives a shoulder. Cody gets a backdrop out of the corner and brings in Cena. Sandow gets out of the AA and bails. We hit a break.
We return with Cena and Cesaro battling with strength. Cesaro launches Cena and gets the uppercut for two. Super height on that one. Swagger hops in with the double for two. Swaggerbomb gets a two count. Sandow enters and takes a half nelson neckbreaker and the race for the hot tag is on. Swagger reenters and cuts it off. Jack throws some knees and gets to the Patriot Lock. Cena fights outs but gets a clothesline. Cesaro gets in and covers for two. Antonio taunts and slugs with an uppercut. Cena gets the desperation ‘rana. Cesaro holds Cena as he tags in Sandow to work on Cena’s arm. Sandow gets a reverse DDT after Cena has a failed attempt at an AA. Cena is a terrific face in peril here.
Sandow runs him over with a clothesline. Cena reverses and gets a sitout powerbomb on Sandow. He tags in Goldust, and he’s all on fire on Cesaro, cleaning his clock. Goldust slugs Swagger from the apron and gets the crossbody for two. Everyone charges in to hit some finishers. Cesaro gets The GIANT SWING on Goldust. JBL goes in Spanish to count along. Outside, Cena dodges Cesaro and Zeb gets flattened from his seat.
Shit goes crazy once everyone gets back into the ring. Goldust gets the corner bulldog. Cody flops onto Sandow with that based moonsault of his. Cena gets the crossbody on Cesaro, which leads to the Final Cut from Goldust for the win. Hot damn, what a match that turned into. Afterwards, Cena leaps into the arms of his partners, super hyped up.
Final Thoughts: ***3/4 bordering on ****. So, so good. Man, is tag team wrestling amazing in WWE. With these performance, The Rhodes just get more and more popular. And Cena is having so much fun here.
-HHH is stressing out after Vickie tells him that The Big Show is in the building. Steph comes in and says she let Big Show in since “THE BOARD” demanded it. HHH and Steph squabble a bit. But….HHH HATES HIM. Grrr! HHH requests Big Show’s presence.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Curtis Axel
Axel gets a hammerlock that is reversed. Curtis gets an elbow, and a shoulderblock. They run, and Ziggler gets a dropkick. Dolph misses a splash and gets yanked down from the buckle. Axel rakes the eyes and whatnot to stay in control. Curtis hits a dropkick for two. He then throws on a chinlock. This lasts for a while before Ziggler breaks it up with a jawbreaker. Axel misses a corner charge. Dolph charges and gets in some punches before hitting a neckbreaker and big elbow drop for two.
Curtis gets the rebound clothesline for two. Ziggler gets out of the powerbomb and hits a Fame Asser for two. Axel shrugs off one Zig Zag, but can’t get away from the second. Ziggler gets the win.
Final Thoughts: *1/2. Without Heyman, Axel is like watching paint dry, I’m sorry to say. That belt is coming of him very soon.
-Renee catches up with Bryan in a corridor. He’s quick in saying that he saw his opportunity and payback and took it, and that there’s someone else who shares his issues with The Wyatts.
-HHH and Stephanie aren’t happy that Vickie tells them to meet The Big Show in the ring.
The Usos vs. Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre w/Jinder Mahal
Jimmy is in control early, but gets hit with a dropkick from the top from Drew that goes across the ring. Heath enters and gets some work in with a double suplex. Drew enters and chokes away in the corner and grabs an armbar. Jimmy fights out and gets a chop. Drew pancakes him in response and gets two. Drew slaps Jimmy for fun and tags in Heath. Slater gets a leg lariat and knocks Jey from the apron. Slater comes off the top, but eats a superkick. Jey tags in and gets the splash for the win.
Final Thoughts: This was just the pre-main event squash we’ve come to know and love.
-Renee is busy tonight, backstage now with Los Matadores. Highlight video follows. I’m ready to hear those Puerto Rican accents. El Torito shows up to make a scene, giving us a terrific opportunity to see Renee’s entire outfit. Ohhh yeahhh. Anyways, El Torito is horny or something.
The Bella Twins and Eva Marie vs. Tamina, AJ Lee and Aksana
Tamina and Nikki start. They battle over a rear waistlock. Nikki dodges a corner charge but get caught with a Samoan drop for two. Aksana tags in, gets in a few stomps, and tags in AJ. She grabs a guillotine choke, but Nikki throws her out of it. Tamina tags in to cut off the tag. Nikki grabs a sunset flip and gets Brie into the match. Brie clears the heel apron and gets a missile dropkick, signaling Brie Mode. Tamina gets an elbow up, takes out Eva Marie, and hits a big boot. Tamina goes up, but misses the Superfly Splash. Eva tags in and gets the rollup for the win. Haha.
Final Thoughts: It makes sense how Eva won the match, but right after she tagged, I wondered what her finisher was. I look forward to Tamina awkwardly destroying her.
-It’s the main event angle where HHH and Stephanie try to pay off The Big Show. I just want my ice cream bars back. So, Big Show heads on out at their request and calls Stephanie a witch. This draws the ire of HHH, who is then pulled back by Stephanie a bit. Big Show mentions that it’s not about money anymore, as he has none. Big Show just wants his job back. HHH tries to stomp this out, but Steph calls him off. Show has another request, of course. He wants to be “Face of WWE!” Steph tries to shut him up now, but HHH pulls him back. We go to break of this peace offering with The Shield coming down to the ring.
We return with The Shield standing by. Big Show demands a title shot against Orton at Survivor Series. HHH gets to break protocol when he denies this, saying that Big Show needs to leave before he’s left in a puddle of his own blood. Big Show leaves, spitting out a funny line about owning all of them as he steps up the ramp. HHH has second thoughts, and Big Show is just hilarious as he walks back down to the ring, and has HHH repeat himself a few times for clarity. Dammit, he’s such a good actor. So, it’s on for Survivor Series for Big Show and Orton…but now we get that four on one handicap match we were waiting for. Big Show is able to fight everyone off until….
CORPORATE KANE STRIKES.
He really just walks around the ring, but wears a suit and no mask. This distracts Big Show and allows for Rollins to hit a knee from the top rope. Orton cleans up with an RKO, drawing screams from two women in the audience. Kane tosses a chair into the ring for Orton to use. He brings two more. Big Show wins by DQ as Big Show is pummeled with chairs. On the outside, Kane takes apart the announce table, before Big Show goes through it. Beforehand, Reigns hits Big Show with the steel steps. And, there’s bad camerawork, as we see Big Show struggle to stabilize himself on Reigns’ shoulders. Orton and The Shield get in some trashtalk at the end. Man, Big Show should have just sued the hell out of WWE.
–Alright, there was a high quality of wrestling tonight, with the six man tag team match being even better than the version on Smackdown, especially with its fun finish. We’re moving forward with Punk and Bryan taking down The Wyatt Family. It was nice to see Tyson Kidd beat someone on Raw, and the main event segment was a bit of a problem in that it crammed three weeks of development into ten minutes. There’s nowhere to go until Survivor Series now. Corporate Kane, dressed in a suit and tie is such a frightening thing, though. He makes for a good henchman, however. At the same time, why have Kane if he’s not going to be…Kane. Still, there’s a lot of good stuff going forward right now, which makes this an enjoyable show.
