Andrew Lutzke
Wrestling videos set to popular music to help put over an act or an angle has been used in “sports entertainment” since 1975 when the Memphis wrestling promotion did one on Jerry “The King” Lawler. The trend really took off in the early 1980’s when both World Class and Memphis released frequent videos putting over their talent. Other groups followed suit, especially when the tag teams of the Fabulous Ones or The Rock and Roll Express came to the area. So with that in mind, today I will be looking back at some of wrestling’s best, worst and wackiest music videos ever put to tape.
The Fabulous Ones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOcVSLcaW58
We start with a taste of the (in)famous Fabulous Ones videos that are impossible not to laugh at while viewed with the modern eye. The eighties electrofunk music, the gratuitous shots of Steve Kiern and Stan Lane in their tight jeans, Kiern in a bubble bath drinking Scotch…and oh so much chest hair. Thing is, it worked! The Fabs were over like rover and these videos were used all over the place as they toured.
“Exotic” Adrian Street
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rllWuvilshM
While the Fabs video projected an unintentional homoerotic overtone, “Exotic” Adrian Street’s “I’m in love with me” was unabashedly suppose to throw Street’s questionable hedonism in your face. The S&M gear, the glitter, the pelvic thrusts to the camera, his Amazonian sidekick, the pruning and yes another beefy brute in a bubble bath! This video was haughty, bawdy and hilarious.
Hulk Hogan and Dolly Parton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=447vamHx400
Dolly Parton’s “Headlock on my Heart” features Parton’s revelation that she in fact has soaked panties over a wrestler named “Starlight Starbright”, played by no bigger star than the Hulkster himself. The Hulk’s in the middle of pinning “Iron” Mike Sharpe, when Dolly and he meet eyes from her ringside seat. Hulk scoops her up, as his massive chest collides with Parton’s, um, massive chest and a true love is sparked. The impromptu in-ring wedding is not interrupted by any dastardly heel unfortunately. I deduct ten points from this video’s score though because Hogan still wore a Hulkamania headband, which violated the kayfabe presented in the video.
Koko B. Ware
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZfMsBitPIQ
While on the subject of romance and wrestling, I cannot ignore Koko B. Ware’s “Piledriver” song that taught my prepubescent self that love is just like a move designed to give you a neck contusion. I didn’t realize then how truthful he was really being. The video itself is an excellent example of what happens when you combine power tools, steroids and cocaine. The bulked up babyfaces are subjected to harassment from their overbearing foreman (played by WWWF legend Arnie Skaaland) as well as a cameo by the Honky Tonk Man, who seemingly got lost on his way to Graceland. The hammy acting by all involved is obviously intentional and the whole video is great fun.
Jesse ‘The Body” Ventura
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2kscsu4rz0
Jesse “The Body” Ventura has lived a varied life, from Navy Seal, to wrestler, to announcer, to actor, to politician, to author, to conspiracy nut, Ventura has done whatever it took to find fame and fortune. This included a mercifully brief venture into music, where in 1984 Ventura recorded two tracks that were released in record format. The video itself isn’t “bad”, but the lyrics are dripping with so much cheese that copies of this song should be played in third world counties to end their hunger problems. If you’re a sadist, copies of the record have been transferred into CD form that can still be bought online.
The New Generation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftvTtTUv2Yw
Memphis wrestling hit another home run with this video for the “New Generation”. That is, if you remove the fact that it was designed to get them over as sex symbols for the ladies, and instead picture that it was meant to be a progressive same sex tag team in love with one another. The hunks can be seeing swimming playfully together, riding shirtless on the same motorcycle, and enjoying a romantic carriage ride . To top it all off, “Let’s hear it for the boy” is playing in the background. An unintentional comedy gold mine here.
The Ultimate Warrior
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUKCgWt0Kno
The Ultimate Warrior is perhaps the least likely person you’d ever think would appear in a Phil Collins video, but here it is. This was done as a comedy skit as part of some sort of special, but that can’t erase the absurdness of what made the air here. Poor Collins is wearing just about the silliest wrestling outfit possible, to the extent that he stands out even when standing next to a 280 pound oiled up gorilla in face paint and tassels. Warrior proves to be a worse dancer than wrestler, which is a scary thought in and of itself. He then proceeds to beat up Collins’ stunt double (Phildow?) as “Two of Hearts” plays. They don’t show the match finish, so I can’t give it a proper star rating.
WrestleRock
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdnB7OLHNwM
The AWA’s last gasp of relevancy came in April of 1986 when they ran a megacard at the Metrodome called “WrestleRock”. More people came to the Dome that day than any one arena that was part of Wrestlemania 2 or The Crockett Cup, both mega events held during the same timeframe. To help promote the show, the AWA tried to “borrow” the WWF’s “Rock and Wrestling Connection” gimmick for the event and made a correlating music video. The results weren’t so good. Stealing the beat from the Chicago Bears campy “Super Bowl Shuffle” that made millions for charity the previous fall, the AWA’s best took to the studio to try their own version.
The wrestlers by and large proved they couldn’t keep a beat, the Las Vegas tie ins seemed out of place since this event was taking place in Minnesota, and they missed on the little things like when Greg Gagne sings about his dropkick and they show a clip of a flying headscissors instead. After all the campiness and fun, the big rock act that they signed to play at the event was…Waylon Jennings????
The Lonely Road of Faith
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX4_Imj_B1M
The WWF bookers in 2001 did their best to ruin a ready made storyline when WCW “invaded” the WWF. Therefore an angle that could have potentially stretched out to the next year’s Wrestlemania (if not longer) was finished up in a matter of months. In the final days before the blowoff, the WWF made a big play to emotionally invest the fans in their history. This included bringing out Fred Blassie to give a speech to the locker room (only to be verbally emasculated by Stephanie McMahon on his way out the arena) as well as the debut of a WWF History video, done to Kid Rock’s “Lonely Road of Faith”. Unlike some other entries in this article, I have no jeers to spread here, as this has been said to be the best video the WWF ever put together. (My vote on that is still to come in a bit.)
Roddy Piper
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qa1Q6xpoM8c
If you ever wondered what it would be like to be seduced by Roddy Piper, this video provides the answer. Piper’s earnest long looks into the camera provide for unintended guffaws from the viewer to start the video. The lyrics are cliché and silly and are delivered over Piper taking pratfalls for a dog while his lover watches on.
Amazingly WCW used this video on Nitro to promote a Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper PPV, meaning millions of people were subjected to this at the height of the Monday Night Wars. Then WCW died…I’m just saying.
Hulk Hogan and Earthquake
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIvhCqKQBU0
The final music video I wish to share today is the one I consider the best video the WWF ever produced. With Hulk Hogan set to leave for Hollywood to make “Suburban Commando”, he was written out of the storylines by having the massive Earthquake attack him on the Brother Love show. A series of splashes saw the Immortal One stretchered off on national TV for the first time since 1986. The whole spectacle horrified millions of little Hulkamaniacs (myself included).
On the Saturday Night’s Main Event that followed that incident, a music video aired that summed up everything we loved about the Hulkster, mixed with painful replays of his violent downfall. The musical transitions are a thing of beauty and the clips are melded together excellently. To this day I get goosebumps seeing the little kid crying while clutching her Hulk Hogan teddy bear. The finish with the symbolic closing of the locker full of Hogan’s gear was an fabulous final visual. A big chunk of Summerslam’s success (featuring Hogan’s return against Earthquake) may directly tie back to the emotions strummed up from this video.
* I had intended on including a Road Warriors music video from Japan here, that saw them crash land in a UFO and eat raw meat, but I could not find it on any video sharing sites, if anyone has a link please share it so the world can experience this awesomeness.
