Jonathan Dehn
WWE Monday Night Raw
03/03/2014
Rosemont, Illinois
-“Cult of Personality” kicks up on the PA to a thunderous pop. Paul Heyman steps out to absorb some heel heat. I love you, Paul. Paul tells the fans to cheer louder for CM Punk. A pan around the crowd reveals BROCK FAN~! Paul sits down in the middle of the ring. Heyman goes on for a bit talking about CM Punk, and his struggle. The fans eat it up. Paul talks about this being his pipe bomb…and reveals that Punk is not there. Paul says that he’s the most upset for CM Punk not being in the ring. Paul builds to it, and points the finger of blame at…the fans. Well, that’s boring.
Paul goes on with a normal promo about how the fans took Punk from him. He also blames the Undertaker, because we have a streak match to worry about. Heyman wants revenge, and sees Brock Lesnar being able to beat the streak as his way to even the score. Paul then brings out Brock Lesnar. The chants for CM Punk continue, so Brock takes the microphone. Brock lists off the men he has beaten, and says that he will conquer the streak. The step out to leave, but Brock is cut off by Mark Henry, who is here to get beaten up. Lesnar runs into a forearm and the brawl is on. Henry tumbles over the steps. Brock tears the steps away and drills Henry with him. Brock tears the table apart and tosses a monitor clear across the ringside area. Henry then takes the F5 through the table.
WWE Tag Team Championship – The New Age Outlaws © vs. The Usos
Jey and Road Dogg begin, with more CM Punk chants raining down. Dogg gets two after a corner whip. Jey favors the leg, and Billy brings him in and slugs away. Dogg returns, and hits a clothesline. Jey gets stuck in the corner and dumped to the floor as the crowd gets behind them. We hit the break.
We return with some nice face heat for the Usos. Billy gets the blind tag and kicks Jey in the head. That gets two. Jey misses an enzuigiri, but spins back around and hits the second. Jimmy takes the hot tag and cleans house, giving Billy a back elbow. Dogg gets knocked off of the apron, and Billy takes a Samoan drop. Dogg takes the full nelson bomb. Dogg takes the corner hip smash and Jimmy gets two from the Whisper in The Wind on Billy. Dogg interrupts and gets a superkick, and Billy hits his powerslam for two following a roll up with a handful of shorts. They fight back to their feet. Billy whiffs on the Fameasser. Jimmy gets the super blind tag, splashing out onto Dogg. Jey hits the superkick and ascends to the top to hit the splash for the big win!
Final Thoughts: *1/2. The crowd got tired of chanting for Punk and put their energy towards making this a special night for Jimmy and Jey, who are entirely deserving tag team champions. Transitioning the belts to The Usos makes the last few weeks worth the trouble.
-We get a clip from Aaron Paul’s new movie, and a few of the divas fawn over him.
Cesaro vs. Big E
To begin, Cesaro catches Big E and gives him a big backbreaker. Well, Cesaro is molten in Chicago. Big E answers back with a corner charge and a belly-to-belly suplex. Big E gets tossed outside, and returns to the ring for THE GIANT SWING. Swagger decides to run in and hit a Swaggerbomb on Big E. Cesaro is less than understanding this time. After the match, Big E pops back into the ring and hits The Big Ending on Cesaro.
Final Thoughts: I like Cesaro breaking away and starting a babyface run soon, and at least he got a nice pop here.
The Shield vs. The Wyatt Family
This show is just being shoved along at a breakneck pace. Oh well, lock and load. We begin with Rollins and Ambrose splashing down and Reigns hitting Bray with a Samoan drop. We begin in earnest with Harper and Rollins, and they quickly find themselves at the top. Rollins goes HAM, as we say, splashing and flipping onto Rowan and Harper after flipping onto his feet out of a super-plex. Ambrose and Wyatt run in, and interrupt Rollins’ momentum, making him fall from the top rope. After that clears up, Harper tosses Rollins into the barricade and we go to break.
We return with Harper holding Seth in a side headlock, making him the face in peril, by default. Rollins answers with a dropkick and looks for the tag. Ambrose causes a disturbance, leaving Seth with no one to tag. Rowan enters and gets tripped into the corner. Harper charges in and gives Reigns a BIG BOOT from the apron. Ambrose gets the tag and gives Rowan the business. Ambrose dropkicks Rowan’s knee and ABSOLUTELY steals Miz’s finishing spot with a figure-four. Harper breaks it up but gets sent over the barricade on the outside by Reigns.
Inside, Bray slams down Dean and slugs away. Harper tags in and clubs away. Grounded in the corner, Dean has Harper’s boots dragged across his face. Rowan comes in and hits a pumphandle backbreaker for two. Rowan squeezes with the head crushed. Dean fights out by pulling the beard, but takes a sideslam. Ambrose is masterful at this stuff. Luke comes back in and sends Ambrose reeling into the ropes while the crowd calls for Reigns. Dean rushes forward and slaughters Harper with a clothesline. Harper holds the boot, and Bray comes back to cut off the tag. Dean hits a hell of a DDT, however. Seth is the only one for the tag and…he walks away from Dean. Reigns tries to stop him, but Seth tells him to figure it out, as they both left him hanging. Reigns runs in Superman punches everyone.
Ambrose clothesline Rowan out and drop toe holds Harper to set him up for the big dropkick. Reigns spears Rowan over the announce table, but takes a dive from Harper. Bray sends Ambrose into the post while Seth watches from the aisle. Bray looks for Sister Abigail, and hits it. That’s the end, with Seth letting Dean take the three count.
Final Thoughts: ***3/4. The story of the match with Seth walking out on his teammates due to them abandoning him was terrific, even if the match didn’t have the same feel of the PPV encounter. I just hope that Seth can get back in there and we don’t break up The Shield just yet.
-Batista is backstage with Renee, and says that Bryan isn’t a superstar, since he’s smaller than he is. He’s a pretty great asshole here. “The Yes Movement is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Fandango and Summer Rae vs. Santino and Emma
Santino and Fandango begin after some silly tagging. We keep going back and forth, but the fans kind of hate it. Fandango beats down Santino and hits an uppercut. Fandango gets two from a flying butt smash. Fandango misses a top rope dive and takes a Santino Stunner. The women tag in and Emma hits a clothesline and dodges a corner charge in order to put on a Tarantula. She follows with the Emma Sandwich. Santino chases Fandango away and gives Emma the chance to lock on her Emma Lock for the win.
Final Thoughts: Emma is starting to catch on here, but it’s somewhat a bit too silly for some. It’s a welcomed diversion, really. But, they did well in not letting the crowd swallow them with their random chants.
Christian vs. Sheamus
Maybe Christian can win this one. The announcing is awful to begin with. They’re just taking a break or something, it feels like. Christian talks some trash to begin and slaps at Sheamus. Sheamus chases him around the ring and throws him into the barricade. He runs him into another section of it. Back inside, Sheamus hits a slam and drops a knee for two. Christian answers with a kneelift and chokes Sheamus in the corner. Sheamus hits a clothesline and follows with an Irish Curse for two. Christian dodges a charge and dumps Sheamus. He follows with a dropkick to the outside. Christian misses a body press, however. Sheamus just stepped out of the way. They brawl on the outside. Christian hides behind the announce table as we go to break. Nice.
We’re back with Sheamus pulling Christian out of the corner. Sheamus goes up, but Christian shoves him off the top and to the floor. Christian follows and tosses him over the barricade. Back in, Christian crawls on top and gets two. Christian hits a clothesline on the apron and drags Sheamus back into the middle of the ring. Christian hits a belly-to-back suplex and goes to the top, gloating along the way. Christian misses the splash. They fight back to their feet. Sheamus rolls over Christian and they trade right hands. Sheamus goes for the clubbing blows on the apron, but Christian elbows out. Sheamus catches Christian and puts him back over the ropes and clubbers away at him. Sheamus hits a running knee lift for two after Christian stumbles back in. Christian begs off, but grabs a reverse DDT. He hits a frog splash afterwards for two. Sheamus blocks a right hand and hits White Noise for two as the crowd turns on it this just because.
Christian gets the boot up in the corner, but then keeps his head up and gets it taken off by a Brogue Kick on the apron. Sheamus crawls back in and gets the win.
Final Thoughts: ***. Sheamus and Christian deserved a better crowd than this. They just decided to hate it because they could. This match was not boring like the crowd claimed.
The Bella Twins vs. Aksana and Alicia Foxx
Aksana and Brie begin and battle over a waistlock. Nikki enters and gets a two after giving some whiplash. Brie comes back with a clothesline and hits a knee into the ropes. Alicia distracts her on the top and Aksana tosses Brie off. Alicia comes in for a two count on a cover. They trade a couple of tags and keep Brie at bay. Aksana stomps away in the corner before Alicia comes back in for a cover. Alicia puts on a bad straitjacket. Brie fights back and tags in Nikki for some dropkicks and a facebuster. BAACK body drop gets two. Brie hits a missile dropkick on Aksana and Nikki hits her backbreaker for the win.
Final Thoughts: Well, not a great match, with Brie holding Alicia’s hands when she herself was caught in the straitjacket.
-The fans sure are happy to see Bryan. Before the match, Bryan gets in the microphone and says that he and the crowd are going to hijack Raw. Well, Bryan kind of loses the crowd since he’s asking for Batista and HHH and not for CM Punk to come back, of course. Out saunter HHH and Stephanie, looking so very composed and not at all worried. You can see just a few fans turning their backs on the segment. But really, they just boo. Bryan asks for the match with HHH at WrestleMania, drawing chants of “No!”, since they want him to have the title. HHH talks about Bryan being weak, like the rest of his generation. Pretty much, HHH just cuts a promo on everyone and calls Bryan a B+ guy. Bryan kind of just pleads with HHH to give him validation. Steph just talks for a while and says that Bryan has nothing without WWE. Bryan just challenges her for WrestleMania, because why not? HHH says that she would kick his ass anyway. HHH then just tells him that Bryan doesn’t belong at an event of WrestleMania’s stature and tells Bryan to leave his ring. Bryan tells him to make him. So, Kane comes out, only to get whooped, as Bryan hits the strongest dive he probably has in WWE. Security keeps Bryan away from the ring.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Aaron Paul
Dolph gets a nice entrance, entering with Paul in a mustang. Del Rio is in control to begin, hitting a pancake and stomping away in the corner. Aaron Paul is actually doing color commentary. Dolph fights back with ten punches in the corner, but runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Dolph hits a big DDT and gets two. Del Rio gets two from a Si Kick. An Aaron Paul distraction leads to a Zig Zag for a rare Ziggler victory.
Final Thoughts: Did you know? Dolph Ziggler is still relevant in Chicagoland. I was certainly fond of the chants for Jesse Pinkman.
Jack Swagger vs. Big E
Cesaro just runs in once the match begins and hits The Neutralizer. Afterwards, Swagger shoves Cesaro , and shoves him again. Cesaro looks for THE GIANT SWING, but Zeb tries to stop him, pleading with him. With Zeb’s help, Cesaro helps up Swagger. The two of them aren’t happy to be asked to hug out their problems. They eventually do hug and are still together.
Final Thoughts: A major crisis has been averted.
-John Cena is out, knee bandaged and all, to talk about The Wyatt Family. John thanks them for the cold welcome. Cena talks about enjoying the hostile arena over the years. He moves over into how the crowd wants change. John says that the change will go through him. That gets a good bit of heat. Cena says that he’s standing tall, and this draws Bray to talk on the screen. He likens Cena to a thoroughbred horse that begins to slow down. Bray says the he’s the reaper that will put him down.
-Lana introduces the crowd to Alexander Rusev, and he is to be booed since he is not from America.
Batista vs. Daniel Bryan
Randy Orton comes out to watch the match. The spotlight remains from Smackdown. Orton taunts Batista from the ringside area with his belts as everyone boos this. I’m not sure how much time this is going to get. Dammit, Kidman. They circle to begin and lockup. Batista overpowers and shrugs him off. Bryan’s rear waistlock is thwarted and he gets knocked down by a shoulderblock. Bryan hits a dropkick to Batista’s knee and works away at it. Bryan hits a dropkick to the knee in the corner. Bryan puts on a half crab, but gets shrugged off. Bryan hits a couple of uppercuts, goes on the run, and is hit with a clothesline. Batista drops Bryan over the top rope and then tosses him out of the ring. We hit a commercial break at five past the hour.
We return with Bryan fighting back, flipping out of the corner and hitting Batista with the clothesline. Bryan delivers two corner dropkicks, and Batista takes a breather. Bryan has none of this and dives out onto him. To the top, Bryan hits the missile dropkick. He nips up and kicks away at Batista, finishing with the buzzsaw. That gets two. Bryan goes to the top as Stephanie, HHH and Stephanie come out. The distraction has Batista take control and put Bryan into the stairs and then into Orton. Back inside, Batista is busy being a jerk and gets kicked in the head.
Orton runs in for the clothesline DQ on Bryan. Randy looks for the RKO, but gets shoved by Batista into the Aberdeen Facebuster. Kane pops up onto the apron, but gets kicked down onto HHH. They tumble to the floor. Bryan looks for the dive, but Batista interrupts with a nice spear. HHH hops into the ring, gets on the microphone and tells Bryan to knock it off. Bryan kicks him in the head from his prone position. This just leads to a Batista Bomb and Pedigree to end the show.
Final Thoughts: **1/2. This went about as we’d expect. Hunter kind of missed his spot getting squashed by Kane. But, he did well in selling the kick to his face. The match was certainly missing something, a disconnect since the crowd was just burnt out and waiting for the DQ ending. The crowd was blue-balled, as it were, expecting CM Punk, of course.
–HHH and Stephanie were good heels this week. We’ll see if this keeps up, as they have a habit of going back and forth. It’s certainly a show to watch, as the company gave away what amounts to a PPV card. My personal favorite moment was The Usos winning the tag titles. Good standalone show. Let’s have a wait and see posture. We might as well, since we already bought the damned network.
