Jonathan Dehn
WWE Monday Night Raw
12/20/2013
Richmond, Virginia
-CM Punk struts on out to start the show. “Everything’s falling apart, it’s clobbering time!” he yells up on the stage. He’s getting kinda weird these days. Punk gives us his year in review. But, he says that the year belonged to The Shield. And they pop up to say hello. Dean asks Punk just what his challenge may be. Punk wants the best of The Shield. Dean thinks it’s him. But Punk is split between Reigns and Rollins, who then argue over who gets to wrestle Punk. The first “Roman Reigns” chant breaks out. Brad Maddox shows up to make it Seth versus Punk to start the show. DISSENSION.
CM Punk vs. Seth Rollins
Punk teases a GTS to start and Rollins scurries outside before the break. We return with Seth hitting some right hands and stomps in the corner. Punk reverses and gets a nifty hold in the ropes. Punk goes up but gets slammed down to the mat for two. Punk reverses with a running rollup; it’s kinda botched, for two. Punk gets a backdrop suplex. Punk goes up but takes a nasty bump to the barrier outside. We hit another break. Punk isn’t right tonight. His timing is off and he’s super sloppy. Funny spot, though, as Ambrose sits down on the floor next to the hurting Punk and yaps at him to get back into the ring.
We return with Punk answering fire with headbutts, but then running into the post. Punk sits up on a legdrop, still getting hit because he moved away a bit too slowly. Punk gets a leg lariat and a couple of strikes. The GTS is reversed into a pin from Rollins for two. Punk is distracted and gets caught on the knee to the corner and takes the turnbuckle bomb for two. Punk misses the big kick and takes an enzuigiri from Rollins.
Rollins goes for his own GTS, but Punk reverses and hits a big knee against the ropes. Rollins rolls away when Punk goes up for the elbow drop. They battle up top in the opposite corner. Rollins tosses him off and leaps off with a crossbody. Punk rolls through and gets the Anaconda Vice. Distractions stop this. Further distractions cause Rollins to get two from a float over reverse DDT. Punk fights back and dumps Rollins outside. Seth interrupts the dive onto all Shield members, but walks into a GTS after reentering the ring. He sells it nicely. We get a little more Shield dissension after the match, with Ambrose sitting outside away from Rollins and Reigns.
Final Thoughts: **. This was disappointing for who was in it. It was sloppy in more than one area. EVERYTHING WAS FALLING APART.
-Backstage, Bryan agrees to run the gauntlet to get his hands on Bray Wyatt.
-Stephanie walks out onstage to introduce a video package for Randy Orton. It’s a long video package. Oh, and she announces Cena/Orton at The Royal Rumble. She claims that it has no stipulations. However, with victory coming from only pinfall or submission, which means that, it’s a No DQ match.
-Stephanie meets HHH backstage. HHH says that he also has an announcement to make.
Curtis Axel vs. Dolph Ziggler
Axel slugs away to start, but eats a dropkick. Curtis whips Dolph from the ring with a sick thud. Back inside, Axel drops a few elbows. Axel hits his own dropkick for two. Curtis holds a chinlock for a short spell. Ziggler reverses Curtis into the corner and Axel slips right into the buckle. Pretty nasty looking. Dolph hits a neckbreaker and a crossbody. Axel shrugs off the Zig-Zag and gets a neckbreaker for two. Axel takes too long in taunting Dolph and gets hit with the Zig-Zag out of nowhere.
Final Thoughts: *. Hey, Dolph got a win!
Intercontinental Championship Match – Fandango w/Summer Rae vs. Big E Langston ©
And, Summer Rae looks great tonight. They lock up to start, and Big E gets a shoulderblock for just one. Big E wrestles Fandango around for a few quick covers. Fandango gets a boot up in the corner and hits a heel kick for two. Langston leapfrogs and takes over with a couple of shoulderthrusts in the corner. Fandango runs off and Langston chases outside, ramming him into the barricade. Back inside, Fandango takes out the leg and stomps away. Big fights out of a leglock with a few right hands, but misses a corner charge, slams into the post and spills to the floor.
We return from break with more work on Langston’s leg. Fandango moves to a chinlock. Still, Langston rises to his feet and drives Fandango back into the corner. Big E hits a belly to belly suplex from the apron and back into the ring, but Fandango goes back to the knee before the big splash. Fandango gets a tornado DDT and then the Alabama Jam. Big E rolls out of the ring, however. Fandango gets him back into the ring but gets caught with a big overhead belly to belly. The big splash hits and THE STRAPS COME DOWN. The Big Ending finishes it up. Good match.
Final Thoughts: **1/2. They had some time and made good use of it. Big E definitely needs a new finisher. It shouldn’t be hard to find him something else.
-Booker T steps out with some Divas and other midcarders. They look to wish everyone a Happy New Year. Bad News Barrett has none of that, rising up on a platform to deliver some BAD NEWS. He reminds everyone of how terrible the world is.
-Damien Sandow, minutes before his match where the fans decide his opponent, claims that if he doesn’t finish off the year with a win, he quits. And, The Great Khali defeats Kofi and Miz in the voting.
Damien Sandow vs. The Great Khali
Sandow gets some strikes to no effect. Khali chops him around the ring. Sandow works the leg after running away for a bit. Sandow hits a knee drop and a couple of elbow drops. There’s a foot DDT and a leglock. Damien hits The Elbow of Disdain, and then gets chopped. Sandow runs into a boot and then a few rights. Sandow rolls up Khali and gets the three count. Khali’s left shoulder was six inches from the mat.
Final Thoughts: Well, at least Sandow didn’t quit. *.
R-Truth vs. Brodus Clay
Clay batters Truth around to start. Brodus hits the T-Bone. Truth gets out of a backbreaker but gets sent into the corner. Clay gets the backbreaker and drops an elbow for two. Things are bleak for Truth, so Woods distracts Clay with some music and dancing. Truth hits a DDT from the second rope for the win. There’s some dancing after the match.
Final Thoughts: Well, this is not the way to get a new heel over.
-HHH steps out to make his big announcement. Bork Laser is back to make his intentions known. He wants the championship, because why not? Mark Henry takes exception to this, but is dispatched through a crowd barricade and given an F5 on the floor.
-There’s a Diva’s tag team match that is like everything we’ve seen over the past few weeks. Cameron fell on her head. Aksana, surprising, got the roll up win on Nikki Bella.
Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper
They slug it out to begin, and Bryan hits a running dropkick to the knee. Putting Harper in the corner, he hits a dropkick to that same knee. Bryan gives him a legwhip and goes into the surfboard. Bryan rocks him back into the dragon sleeper. Harper fights back and gives Bryan a heavy chop. Yikes, some more rough chops. Harper gives Bryan a guillotine in the ropes. The Gator Roll comes next and moves into the side headlock. Bryan fights out but gets his head taken off with a back elbow. Bryan dodges a corner charge and hits a dropkick in the corner. The next attempt is caught and turned into a Michinoku Driver for two. This takes us to the first break. We return with Harper holding a chinlock. Bryan flips out of the corner and hits the clothesline. Harper gets dumped outside. Bryan hits TWO dives to be certain. Back inside, Bryan hits the missile dropkick, nips up, and kicks Harper’s head off.
They fight at the top, and Bryan goes for the ‘rana. Harper catches him and hits a GIGANTIC powerbomb from the second rope for two. Bryan takes more hard shots, and then takes a nasty suplex for two. Harper breaks out of the Yes! Lock with a bite and hits Bryan with a big boot. Bryan flips out of a backdrop suplex and is able to hit TCK for the win.
Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan
Bryan drags himself back to his feet and gets rushed by Rowan. He’s sent outside and into the steel steps, before being thrown over the announce table before we go to break. We return with Rowan taking headbutts from Bryan, but catching him in flight and pancaking him. Up to the top, Rowan hits a fallaway slam. Bryan catches him with a small package for the win. Rowan attacks after the match, but Harper pulls him off.
Bray Wyatt vs. Daniel Bryan
Harper and Rowan attack Bryan before he can get to Bray, because of course we can’t get even a minute or two of what we desire.
Final Thoughts: ***1/2. Let me just take a deep breath and calm down before typing about this last bit…
-After the match ends, The Wyatt Family brutalizes Bryan once again. And then, in one of the worst twists I’ve experienced since Mass Effect 3, Bryan grovels at Bray’s knees to join The Wyatt Family. He gives up entirely, and becomes a submissive slave to Bray. If this isn’t a swerve, this is WWE assassinating Bryan’s character. Knowing Bryan, he’s just going to turn The Wyatt Family into babyfaces by association. I’m thinking that this is just a great way for WWE (their thoughts, not mine) to put Bryan in a “holding pattern” while the “special attractions” arrive for WrestleMania season. Still, people can tell me to just wait and see where this is going, but I’m just going to embrace this fact….
–There’s only one more year until we can buy hoverboards! Happy New Year!
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