Jonathan Dehn
WWE Smackdown
04/25/2014
Hershey, Pennsylvania
-Well, that was a quick start, as Vickie begins the show, explaining that The Authority have the night off. The Shield has to face another eleven guys. Those are always fun…and this segues into a debate, complete with podiums, between Paul Heyman and Zeb Colter. Cesaro and Jack Swagger are at their sides. I’m not sure what there is to debate. Anyhow, Zeb is upset at Cesaro’s lack of appreciation for what he did for him. Heyman answers by reminding Zeb Colter that his client Brock Lesnar defeated The Undertaker at WrestleMania. Repeatedly. Heyman runs out of time on his rebuttal still talking about Brock Lesnar. Colter really wants to know now why Heyman stole his client. Heyman answers that Zeb Colter Guys don’t win. When Cesaro won The ‘Dre, he was already a Paul Heyman Guy. This point is repeated. Colter knocks over his podium and loses patience, challenging Heyman to settle this dispute like men. They get pulled apart, and I hope that these guys don’t have to wrestle a match. Knowing our luck, it’ll be a Tuxedo Match and the loser will have evident skid marks on their backsides.
Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger hits a knee lift to begin and pounds away in the corner. Cesaro answers like a beast, catching Swagger and hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Cesaro follows with charging uppercuts in the corners. Swagger gets an elbow to the gut and hiptosses Cesaro to the floor, and keeps him down there before following him out. Cesaro breaks up a clothesline with a big uppercut and puts Swagger into the barricade. He pummels Jack up against it, and tosses him back into the ring to hit a double stomp for two.
Swagger answers back with a chop block and a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Cesaro puts on a double chickenwing to rest. Cesaro headbutts his way out and springs from the second rope, spinning into the middle of the ring with an uppercut! Cesaro follows with a gutwrench for two. Swagger fights out of the corner and hits a flapjack, followed by a Swaggerbomb for two. Cesaro gets the comeback with some forearms and hits a clothesline that sends them both outside before the break.
We return with Swagger and Cesaro battling at the top. Swagger falls off, and tries to run back up, eating a forward that lays him out. Cesaro comes off the top with an uppercut. Swagger gets an elbow up in the corner and hits a big boot for two. Cesaro gets the boot up on another Swaggerbomb, but Swagger reverses into the Patriot Lock. Cesaro fights out, but eats a slam for two in a nice sequence. Cesaro shakes it off, per the request of his advocate, Paul Heyman, and hits a double-underhook powerbomb. Sweet. The crowd calls for the swing, and Cesaro obliges, living up to his moniker. The Neutralizer finishes it up for Cesaro.
After the match, The Shield has their music hit so surprisingly. Cesaro and Heyman bolt, leaving Swagger alone in the ring. A Superman punch and triple powerbomb takes Swagger out. They all get onto the microphone and claim to just be getting started.
Final Thoughts: ***1/4. This was a good match that ended nice and clean. I’m not sure where they go from here, since Cesaro is out of the IC Title Tournament and just bested Swagger. I worry that they’ll lose interesting by Monday and he won’t even have a match for Extreme Rules. And now I worry that we’ll have Heyman/Cesaro vs. Colter/Swagger in something of a comedy match where Zeb takes the giant swing.
Tamina vs. Natalya
Nattie takes her down to start, but gets thrown off. Nattie scores another takedown, but Tamina grabs a front facelock. Natalya hits a clothesline, and goes to a headlock takedown. Nattie hits a shoulderblock and follows with a dropkick. Tamina bails, but drags Nattie from the ring and tosses the jacket on her. That gets two, back in the ring. There’s the chinlock. Tamina drops a knee for two. She follows with a Samoan drop and drags Nattie into the corner. Natalya rolls out of the way from the splash, and gets a small package for two. Natalya gets an elbow up in the corner, but has the Sharpshooter counters. Discus clothesline gets a long two. Natalya is shrugged off from a rear waistlock, and nips up into a superkick to the throat to end it.
Final Thoughts: *. This was fine, but had its sloppy moments. I thought that Natalya had a bit too much offense here if they’re building Tamina as the favorite and a real threat to the Divas Title. But hey, she’s a big, big star on Total Divas!
-Backstage, 3MB are hanging around, fired up about being in the main event. Seth Rollins pops in, as does Dean. Heath is still confident. Reigns pops up, too. Heath is petrified while staring at Reigns as Seth and Dean take out Jinder and Drew. Heath begs off, but eats a Superman punch. Good times.
-Vickie is on the phone with HHH. Trouble is afoot, but Vickie is more concerned about being booted for Brad Maddox to run the show. Brad considers himself to be real authority.
Curtis Axel vs. Jey Uso
They brawl to start, with Jey hitting a back elbow to begin. Jey hits a sliding chinlock? I guess he does. Axel fights him off and hits a belly-to-back suplex. Axel follows with a slingshot elbow to the outside. Back in, Jey fights back with right hands. Axel hits an ugly kneelift, and follows with that new running knee strike he uses on downed opponents. Curtis gets a backbreaker, walks over Jey, and hits an elbow drop for two. Ryback enjoys it. Axel misses a corner splash and takes some clotheslines and other babyface offense. Jey goes to the top, but is distracted by Ryback. Axel runs his head into the turnbuckle and brings him back in. Curtis hits the still yet to be named inverted neckbreaker of his, and we get to hear the terrific Rybaxel theme as he picks up the win.
Final Thoughts: *. The finish wasn’t much in doubt, with Ryback distracting and Axel getting the win before these teams have a pre-show match for the belts.
-The Wyatt Family is in Hershey! Either the fans didn’t clap, or WWE edited most of them out. I’ll bet on the crowd not being in the mood, as WWE is pushing this story as Wyatt turning everything and everyone on Cena. We come back and discover them under spotlights inside of a steel cage. Bray says that love is a delectable experience. It cannot be defined. Harper and Rowan look so imposing standing against the mesh. Bray asks John how it feels to lose that love, and how his fans chose to throw him to the wolves. Bray says that it’s time for Cena to not think of him as a man, but as the nagging conscience of everyone. Bray dances around the ring as he talks, stroking the walls. Bray eagerly awaits their date with destiny. Cena’s nightmares have become his dreams, and in those dreams, the people will follow him. Bray climbs to the top of the cage, and asks Cena if he hears them singing with him. Bray sings to end this amazing promo that has sold me on their match.
The Rhodes Bros (with tension) vs. Rowan and Harper
Goldy’s face paint for the show reminds me of Thane Krios from the Mass Effect series. Just, ignore the third game. Harper and Cody begin, with Cody getting a boot up in the corner and hitting a dropkick to the knee. Cody follows with a clothesline, but takes a forearm. Rowan enters, as does Goldust, who slugs away. He hits the running bulldog and brings in Cody. Bray gets on the microphone and asks the fans what they think of Rowan and Harper as they take control. Luke gives a guillotine to Cody and Rowan enters with a shot to the stomach. Rowan puts on a neck vise. Cody takes more punishment in the corner, hung up and getting clubbed. Harper uses the gator roll and holds a side headlock. Goldust gets knocked off of the apron, and Cody wants the tag. Cody hits the Disaster Kick and tags in Goldust. He gives out a pair of atomic drops and comes off of the top with the crossbody. Rowan gets dumped, and Goldust gets two from a powerslam. Cody comes off the top with a dropkick onto Rowan. Cody looks to go after Rowan on the outside, but Harper whip Goldy into the corner, knocking Cody to ringside. The distraction leads to the clothesline finish for Harper.
Final Thoughts: *1/2. This was both a match where The Rhodes Bros looked bad on purpose, and a way to keep up the momentum of The Wyatt Family. So, it was never going to be very good. The breakup of these guys better result in something huge for Cody.
-Brad has his cell phone taken by The Shield. Maddox tries to reason with them, but Reigns throws him into the wall. They pull a couch away from the wall, and Dean holds the rest of The Shield off. Dean then leaps over the couch and pummels away at Brad, off camera. Dean is finally satisfied and The Shield walks off. Funny stuff, again.
Santino and Emma vs. Fandango and Layla
I was not looking forward to this match, and neither were The Shield. They meet Fandango up on the stage, as Layla looks on in horror. This is what Fandango gets for trying to look like a tough guy on Raw. Fandango gets mauled and dragged towards the edge of the stage. Fandango takes the triple powerbomb off of the stage and through a couple of tables below. Ouch.
Final Thoughts: This is one angle with the Santino/Emma pairing that I won’t try to forget.
The Shield vs. God Knows Who
Oh, Curtis Axel was just found “decimated” in the backstage area. I was hoping that he would take a random spear into a vending machine while on the phone, begging Paul Heyman to take him back. Reigns could’ve even told Heyman to believe in The Shield before ending the call. Ryback, Bad News Barrett, Damien Sandow, Titus O’Neil and Alberto Del Rio are the only people left. I wouldn’t waste Barrett here, as he’s in the middle of a real push. Ryback and Seth Rollins begin. Ryback grabs a side headlock and hits a shoulderblock. Seth answers with a dropkick and drags Ryback into the corner. Reigns hits a couple of headbutts and slugs away in the corner before Dean comes to do more of the same. Rollins gets another quick tag and comes in off the top. Ryback catches him and slams him down. Titus enters with a slam. Seth answers with a chop and Dean returns with more offense in the corner. Reigns trades off and gets a quick clothesline for two. Ambrose gets tagged in and taken into the opposite corner. Barrett comes in, and Seth gets the tag shortly thereafter. They get a double suplex and the three knock the heels from the apron and stand tall before the break.
We return with Barrett holding Dean in a headlock. Dean fights back, but pays too much attention to the corner, and takes a big boot. ADR comes in with a big kick and follows with a running dropkick. Del Rio goes back to the chinlock. Dean takes a corner enzuigiri for two. Del Rio then tosses Dean to the outside, and distracts the referee. Ryback gets a cheap shot before being tagged in. Ryback hits a slam and follows with a big splash for two. We go back to the chinlock. I like to think that the Goldberg chants are diminishing as the fans quickly realize that Ryback is objectively superior to Bill Goldberg as a worker. Maybe I just have lead poisoning. Dean finally fights back and throws Ryback into the buckle. Ryback retakes control with a spinebuster for two. Rollins breaks it up, but gets tosses to the outside. Ryback misses a corner clothesline, and Del Rio falls to the outside. Reigns gets the hot tag and cleans house with clotheslines and Samoan drops for all. Reigns gets a slam for two and the action breaks down.
Titus goes into the stairs; Sandow takes the Samoan smashing dropkick. Reigns loads up the Superman punch. Del Rio and Barrett think about jumping back into the match, but just walk off as they have more important things to do. Ambrose and Rollins hit some dives, and Del Rio, on the stage, stumbles into a Superman punch. WWE is respecting the push they’re giving Barrett, letting him walk out. Back in the ring, Sandow is left all alone and walks into a spear for the win. Titus gets tossed back into the ring and hit with a spear after the match. Dean and Seth toss Ryback back in to also take a spear. Ryback sells it great, audibly coughing his guts out before he is finished off with a triple powerbomb to finish the show.
Final Thoughts: **3/4. This was pretty fun, although the idea of having terrific handicap matches is still so foreign. This was booked well throughout the night, with The Shield looking like great stars. Also, I appreciate Del Rio and Barrett walking away from the match like top tier heels should do.
–This was a very coherent and good show. You had the first quarter of the show dedicated to Cesaro and Jack Swagger, with Heyman and Colter doing the talking. Then, you had The Shield throwing their weight around and taking out everybody, which is always fun to see. Bray Wyatt delivered a masterful promo, and we were saved from the never-ending feud between Fandango and Santino that has possibly tainted Emma’s WWE career. I’d venture to guess that this was the best wrestling show on TV this week.
