Jonathan Dehn
WWE Smackdown
05/17/2013
Wichita, Kansas
-We begin with Miz TV, and WWE not wanting to mention they’re running a show from Wichita. I guess that Cool Dad is too serious about Fandango these days for the Highlight Reel. I think the last time this show happened, Brock destroyed Miz and threw chairs at him. That was fun.
Randy Orton and The Big Show join Miz in the ring. They argue, and Orton says that he won’t lose in his hometown on Sunday. Yeah, right. Out comes Jack and Zeb to tell the two that their match doesn’t matter, but Jack’s does. Del Rio then comes out. He claims that his name is what will be remembered. “Jumanji Man” is a new nickname for Colter, given to him by ADR. Mark Henry comes out next, because why the hell not?
Mark says that people are actually going to remember what he does when he beats Sheamus on Sunday. So, Sheamus comes out next. One of these days, they’re going to cross paths before they hit the curtain, right? Sheamus chases Henry from the ring after charging the ring with a strap.
-Teddy Long comes out to put those heels and faces together in a six man tag for the main event.
Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns vs. The Usos
The Usos are in control at the start, tossing Rollins around the ring. He tags in Reigns who takes control with a clothesline and stomps away in the corner. A charge is reversed and the action breaks down, with Reigns hitting the spear for the quick win.
The Shield start a beatdown after the match, but Kofi comes out to break it up. He finds a chair at ringside and fends off The Shield. I can understand The Shield retreating so close to their title matches this weekend, but it’s odd that Kofi and a chair was enough to send The Shield into retreat.
Final Thoughts: This was a squash and had a post match angle that would bother some viewers. Actually, it is pretty stupid that The Shield couldn’t figure out how to take down a single man with a chair. I guess that Cena’s DQ victory makes it more acceptable for The Usos and a chair wielding Kingston to chase them away.
-Miz is backstage with Teddy Long, who welcomes him back and says that he really knows how to stir the pot. He did nothing to provoke the action at the start of the show. Sandow walks in and pitches “The Damien Sandow Show” which sounds terrific. Instead, he gets to wrestle The Miz.
Tons of Funk vs. Prime Time Players
We join in progress on a taped show. And we’re told about the damned WWE Application. Tons of Funk are in control until Titus gets involved from the apron, hitting a leaping forearm on Tensai before tagging in and leveling him with another forearm, which Tensai sells like a large boulder. Thrusts in the corner follow that up and Titus misses a charge. In come Clay and Young. A clothesline sets up the t-bone and a splash in the corner. Titus breaks up the count after a slam but walks into a big boot from Tensai which causes him to spill to the outside. Tons of Funk hit their tandem splash on Young to pick up the win.
Final Thoughts: This was fine, inoffensive fun between the two teams, albeit short.
-As this show goes along, they’re plugging the WWE application more and more. Did you know that the WWE Application offers a new way to watch television?
Chris Jericho vs. Antonio Cesaro
Hopefully, this gets some time. Cesaro has added sunglasses to his beret and jacket combo. This match already contains great entrance attire. Lockup to start and the two exchange counters. Stop plugging the application! Cesaro bails to the outside, as I guess they let them know that it was time to plug the application.
Back in, Cesaro delivers a couple of chops before Jericho goes up the second rope and hits the missile dropkick. Cesaro, on the apron, attempts to suplex Jericho out and over to a stalemate. The Springboard dropkick knocks Cesaro to the outside. We hit the break, EXCEPT FOR THOSE OF US WITH THE WWE APPLICATION!
We return with Jericho reversing to a backslide for two. Cesaro grabs a headlock as the crowd cheers Jericho on. Chris fights to escape and hits a couple of shoulder blocks before going up top for the double axe handle. Antonio comes back as he reverses the lionsault with some raised knees and hit the double stomp.
Jericho hits the enzuigiri for two after Antonio misses a charge. But he gets two on a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Going for the Neutralizer, but it’s reversed into the Wall of Jericho. Cesaro escapes but eats a boot. Jericho comes off the top but gets nailed with the uppercut. That’s a two but it should really be a finisher by now. Cesaro goes for the gut wrench, but Jericho rolls through into the Walls and picks up the win. After the match, Fandango attacks from behind. But, Jericho grows eyes in the back of his head and ‘Go is left running. Cesaro eats a Codebreaker from the incensed Cool Dad. Jericho took a shot on his lip in bleeds hardway as the segment comes to an end.
Final Thoughts: This was a fine match and there was a good amount of chemistry between the two. Cesaro still looked pretty good, all things considered, and Jericho picked up a much needed clean win heading into the PPV.
-We have a video from Zeb and Jack. Of course, the idea Alberto Del Rio is just as bad as people dying at embassies overseas. After Extreme Rules, he’ll run back to Mexico in shame. I can’t wait for this storyline to end.
Damien Sandow vs. The Miz
Cody Rhodes joins us at the table. They circle to start and trade headlock reversals. Horrible work from Cole mars the beginning of the match. Miz hits Sandow with a clothesline but eats an elbow on a corner charge. Sandow bails, but Miz comes off of the apron with a double axe handle. Damien stomps away back inside. Rhodes gets on the microphone and demands that people stand and show respect for Damien. Sandow continues with a bare knee drop.
Miz fights back with a jawbreaker but finds himself in the ropes and choked by Sandow. Damien hits The Elbow Of Disdain! That gets two. The men trade punches before Miz goes on a run and hits the big boot before the corner clothesline. He hits a double axe off of the top rope. Rhodes is unable to stop Miz from putting on the figure four for the win.
Final Thoughts: The match was absolutely fine. Cole was atrocious at the table and hurt the flow of the segment. The Miz was just fine and is a great face if he doesn’t talk, but that’s normal of WWE faces, of course. My biggest problem with the match was there being no set up to the figure four, and Sandow’s character of being a bit of a ring general takes a hit by not reversing it once.
Aksana vs. Kaitlyn (w/ terrible theme music)
Kaitlyn’s secret admirer now has a Twitter handle. A suplex gets two for Kaitlyn. She gets a flying shoulder block but gets sent into the corner and hit with a short arm clothesline. Aksana is still very much a work in progress. Aksana is wearing an outfit that reminds me of Trish Stratus. Maybe in a couple of years, I’ll be laughing at myself for doubting her at all. Aksana hits the Russian Legsweep and crawls sexily around the ring. A kick gets two for Aksana. She plays to the crowd before applying a backbreaker. She gets turned inside out however with a spear from Kaitlyn after the Diva’s Champion escapes the attempt. And that’s enough for the win.
Final Thoughts: This was actually pretty good from Aksana and Kaitlyn. Aksana’s offense looked good and her moveset is growing. Kaitlyn is a natural face and they worked well together, with Aksana’s constant taunting. She showed some good charisma. Unfortunately, the secret admirer angle is dragging just a bit, with the guys on commentary just making fun of the saga. With the secret admirer now posting messages on Twitter, I fear that this is going to go nowhere for quite a while.
-We get a long HHH and Brock Lesnar video recap. That’s a good break to make a sandwich with.
Celtic Destiny Vipers vs. The Real, Biggest, Strongest, American Tag Team In The World
Half of the way into the entrances, WWE couldn’t help themselves and had to plug their new movie. Del Rio and Swagger begin and lockup. Del Rio takes control and boots in the corner set up a enzuigiri to the arm. Orton tags in and stomps away and hits an uppercut and ten punches in the corner. Swagger comes back off of the whip and dives at the leg. A foot DDT from Swagger, but Randy comes back with a dropkick.
Del Rio comes back in. In the ropes, ADR throws the forearms into the back and follows with the Backstabber. Swagger rolls out and gets hit with a suicide dive to boot. Back in, Del Rio goes to the top, but Swagger pops up and suplexes him off. Big Show enters and slugs Del Rio before standing atop his foe. The heels make quick tags and dole out doses of punishment.
ADR fights out of the corner and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, but Show tags in and cuts off Del Rio with an elbow drop before he can make the tag. Coming back from the commercial break, Del Rio is still fighting back and looking for the hot tag. He dodges a charge from Swagger but can’t get back to his corner. Show is in now and a powerbomb attempt turns into a hurricanrana. Hot tag to Sheamus and he’s a house of fire.
White Noise on Show but a Brogue Kick is reversed into a chokeslam for two. Swagger enters the ring and uses some basic offense. Sheamus fights back with a rolling Samoan Drop. Henry comes and keeps Sheamus from his corner. Mark delivers some clubbing blows and taunts at Sheamus before tagging Show back in. Sheamus takes more punishment before Swagger reenters and hits a short arm clothesline that leads to a Swagger Bomb that gets two.
Jack looks to try it again, but gets dropped in an electric chair. Orton finally gets the hot tag and hits the clothesline and powerslam on Swagger. Then, the match breaks down with bodies everywhere. Swagger gets the ankle lock on Del Rio, but Randy flies in from behind to hit the RKO for the win.
Final Thoughts: This match was pretty fun and the crowd had a good time with it. It was decent and featured good wrestling, but is ultimately a TV main event. I was surprised at the clean finish, and expected for it to disintegrate and end with disqualification.
–This was a pretty forgettable show, overall, but it featured two matches that got time and clean finishes. It was better than Raw when it came to selling Extreme Rules, getting everyone involved in the two hours that the show was allotted. Once you get past the video recaps, the show moved well…except for the constant plugging of the WWE Application. I hope that they don’t plug the thing too heavily during the PPV on Sunday. It’s entirely obnoxious, since on top of the wrestling, the crowd, and the commentary plugging it, you also have the sound from the Application coming onto the screen. It’s distracting, and in an awful way.
DVR MARKERS
0:45 – Chris Jericho vs. Antonio Cesaro – Recommended
1:34 – Six Man Tag Team Main Event – Recommended
–image is provided by wikimedia
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