Jonathan Dehn
WWE Smackdown
12/06/2013
Tulsa, Oklahoma
-Randy Orton steps out to bore us to death on the microphone. Orton is so upset about Cena beating him down on Monday that he shows it on the tron. Orton claims that he isn’t whining like everyone else in the back would. Also, Orton likes no one else in the company but Stephanie and HHH. Orton puts them over and apologizes to them publicly. Yeah, this is going to sell the PPV. Orton goes to leave, but is interrupted by Daniel Bryan. Bryan says that Orton needs to apologize for impersonating a champion and says that he’ll be coming for him the first moment that he can. Bryan says that since he’s here, he’d like to put a knee into Orton’s face, and challenges him. Orton refuses without hesitation, so Bryan puts the pressure of the crowd on Orton. We have no resolution as Orton leaves the ring. Oh, wait. After the commercial break, Vickie makes the match a reality.
Fandango w/Summer Rae vs. Big E Langston
Of course, Damien Sandow is on commentary. I think they have mixed up Big E’s entrance music once more. I can’t even pick out a rhythm. Fandango rushes but takes a back body drop and a couple of charges into the corner. Fandango gets the boot up and hits a right hand. Big E doesn’t like that and shoves him outside. Outside, Fandango answers with a clothesline and gets just one. Fandango stomps and grabs a headlock. Langston gets out and hits a couple of clotheslines and a belly to belly suplex. Langston gets the big splash and THE STRAPS COME DOWN. Fandango gets in a running knee for two. Langston tosses ‘Go from the top, hits a corner splash, and finishes with The Big Ending. After the match, Sandow enters the ring and glowers at Langston. Langston tells him to come get the belt.
Final Thoughts: Big E looked pretty good and badass here.
The Rhodes Brothers vs. The Not-Heyman Guys
Cody and Ryback begin. Ryback slugs away. Cody kicks him down and brings in Goldust. Goldy drops the knee for a short count. Goldust gets dropped on the top rope for the press for two. Ryback hits a scoop slam and he and Axel get second rope elbow drops. Ryback returns and they splash Goldust in the corner for two. Axel is back and goes to the chinlock and moves into a headlock. Goldy rolls through after dodging a dropkick. The powerslam helps Goldust tag in Cody. Rhodes flies in with a dropkick. Axel dodges the Disaster Kick but Cody gets the sunset flip in the corner for two. Axel misses a corner charge. Going up, Cody gets the moonsault, but Ryback breaks up the cover. Goldust and Ryback tumble out. Cody goes outside and hits a Disaster Kick off of the announce table. That was cool. However, Cody returns to the ring but is caught with a roll up.
Final Thoughts: *. There just wasn’t enough time here, at all. Still, I don’t mind Axel and Ryback getting a tag title shot. It would be better if heat segments with Axel wouldn’t be so dull.
-Bad News Barrett is on the scene. He’s got some BAD NEWS for Tulsa. He calls the crowd cowardly sheep that will follow each other to slaughter. Damn straight.
Albeto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston
Do I have to review this? I feel like I’ve done this ten times of late. Del Rio feels my pain, attacking before the match begins and pummels Kofi on the outside. Back inside, Del Rio kicks Kofi in the head and whips him in the head with his towel a few times. ADR puts on the cross armbreaker because he’s a mean guy, see?
Final Thoughts: This wasn’t a bad angle, but just 50/50 crap that suddenly makes Sin Cara higher on the totem pole than Kofi Kingston. Good for Hunico.
-The Shield trash talk CM Punk. Rollins tries to calm down Reigns so Punk can make it to the PPV. Reigns says that it’s going to take the baddest man in The Shield to take down the best. Ambrose steals Reigns’ thunder and looks to face Punk.
CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose
Punk grabs a headlock to begin. Dean gets a headscissors, but we’re back to the headlock. Ambrose telegraphs a back body drop and Punk kicks him down and hits a series of quick legdrops for just one. Ambrose breaks on a suplex and gets a knee in the ropes. Dean works at Punk in the corner and gets a short armed clothesline for two. Ambrose puts on a snug chinlock, and Punk returns with a leg lariat and a couple of back elbows. Ambrose gets out of the GTS a couple of times and bails to avoid a kick to the head. We hit a break.
We return with Ambrose stomping at Punk’s tender ribs. A Muta elbow gets a nearfall. Ambrose gets a few jabs and a right for two. Ambrose puts on a crossface chickenwing. Punk fights back, but Ambrose gets a nifty clothesline for two. Dean goes to the top, but misses an elbow drop. Punk gets a springboard clothesline for two. Punk gets the corner knee for two. Ambrose gets a backslide for two after reversing the neckbreaker, and then floats into a fujiwara armbar. Cool. Punk goes for the GTS, but Ambrose counters into a sleeper hold. Punk takes him down in turn and gets the Anaconda Vice. Ambrose gets his feet on the ropes.
Punk grabs a scoop slam and goes to the top. Ambrose meets him up there and gets a double underhook super-plex for two. Dean goes back to the armbar. Punk drags over to the bottom rope. Dean argues, and gets rolled up for two. Punk gets two from a kick to the skull. This crowd is dead for this match, and it’s a shame, but, Tulsa. We get a main event finisher reversal sequence which ends in Ambrose running Punk’s dinged shoulder into the corner post. Ambrose grabs the tights on the roll up and gets two. Punk fights out of the headlock driver with a kick to the head, and the GTS finishes it.
Final Thoughts: *** and a good match. More importantly, Ambrose looked great in there and was treated as somewhat of Punk’s equal. It would have been better had the crowd not been in the bathroom.
-Renee is backstage with Rey and asks for his opinion on becoming “The Champion of Champions!” Zeb shows up and says that Rey’s title reigns don’t count since he can’t show his documents. Rey says that Zeb should be thrown out for being a hypocrite. Zeb challenges Rey to find a tag team partner for a match later on. It totally has to be Sin Cara.
Tamina w/AJ Lee vs. Natalya
AJ is actually at the table for this match. Tamina throws off a side headlock. Natalya gets the spinning clothesline for two. Tamina hits a knee lift in retaliation and dump Nattie by putting her into the ring post. Outside, Tamina rams Natalya into the apron. Back in, Tamina gets some knees to the back. Nattie reverses out of it, but gets stomped in the corner. Tamina misses a splash, takes a clothesline, a snapmare, and a running front dropkick. Nattie gets a roll up for two. Tamina gets out of the Sharpshooter and gets a Samoan drop. Tamina misses a splash and….Nattie puts on a lateral press for the win. THE MIGHTY LATERAL PRESS! After the match, AJ and Nattie stare at each other.
Final Thoughts: Well, this was just as it usually is. *.
-The Funkadactyls sell some merch. It’s a bit of a mess.
The Real Americans w/Zeb Colter vs. Rey Mysterio and The Big Show
Big Show overpowers Swagger and chops him. Rey comes in for a dropkick. Swagger takes over with a slam on Rey’s bulldog attempt. Cesaro enters and stomps away in the corner. Swagger comes back and grabs a headlock after Cesaro gets in a cheap shot. Rey fights out of the corner, but gets bowled out of the ring by Swagger. Cesaro tags in and gets a kneelift on the outside against the barrier. Cesaro tosses Rey back into the ring for two. Swagger comes back from some trashtalking. This wasn’t wise, as Rey gets a DDT to grab a hot tag. Big Show batters Cesaro a bit, and hits a back body drop. Swagger gets clotheslined out. Big Show hits the Dick Spear, and Swagger breaks up the count. Jack gets the 619, and Cesaro gets chokeslammed. Rey drops the dime from Big Show’s shoulders for the win. I like that finish.
Final Thoughts: This was short, but hopefully it leads to more for The Real Americans and Cesaro in particular, of course. *1/2.
-Bad News Barrett kind of just cuts a promo about “The Champion of Champions” will be a marked man. Really? I had no idea. Also, there was a short clip before this where HHH gushes about “The King of Kings” crowning “The Champion of Champions”. We just need to be reminded of who runs this shit for the 6419th time in the last few months.
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
They trade leverage on a lockup to begin. Orton hits a shoulderblock, but takes a knee to the gut. Bryan works him over in the corner, but Orton shrugs him off. Bryan comes back with some right hands and an armbreaker. Then, a second. He goes for another, but Orton reverses into the over the shoulder backbreaker for two. Orton misses a kneedrop, and Bryan kicks at the knee. Bryan dropkicks Orton from the ring, and Orton runs and hides from the dive in a humorous fashion. We hit a break.
We return with…a Total Divas preview. Of course. Orton is in control. Bryan fights out of a chinlock, but takes a knee to the gut for two. Orton stomps and steps over Bryan. After soaking in screams from odd woman, Orton gets a suplex for two and grabs another chinlock. Bryan flips out of the corner and hits his clothesline. Bryan gets some corner dropkicks, and goes up for the ‘rana for two. Orton fights back but misses a charge and winds up outside. Bryan gets the dive. Back in, Bryan hits the dropkick from the top and nips up.
Bryan kicks at Orton, but Randy dodges the buzzsaw and hits a powerslam for two. Randy hits the hanging DDT after holding up for a while. Then, Orton gets backslid after missing the RKO. Bryan kicks him in the head and goes to the top. The Wyatt’s interrupt, distracting Bryan….and there’s the RKO. You know, they might not want to cost a new prospective of their family matches against archrivals. That’s just me. After the match, Bray pops up on the tron and says that at TLC, Bryan will finally realize what he is.
Final Thoughts: **1/2. This was decent, but was just building to the bullshit ending. I feel like the only person in the room who finds these Orton and Bryan matches underwhelming. Orton doesn’t match the intensity and always looks like he’s asleep during the match, relatively.
–Check out the Ambrose/Punk match and everything else is just kind of there. There’s some good stuff there. Meanwhile, WWE is too busy trying to cover their asses when their network fails to give the fans what they want. I apologize for not reviewing Raw. This Cena/Orton “best of a generation” match to unify the titles takes the life out of me. Of all the options to unify the titles, they just feed us this tired thing while a true showdown is certainly Cena/Punk or Cena/Bryan. I’m not sure how that would prominently feature Stephanie and HHH, however.
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