Sage Cortez
It’s time for Royal Rumble ’90, which is a show I’ve only watched in horrendous VHS quality to the point of not being able to see the faces of the wrestlers. This is going to be a lot different, of course. The undercard is a bit less than impressive, that’s for sure. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve seen all of that either. Some of it may have been cut out. Heading into this show, it was a possibility that the Rockers would face the Powers of Pain, but they did not. That’s the reason I watched the MSG match between those teams when putting together the last article. Rather than bloviate, let’s get to the action.
– January 21st, 1990, from Orlando Arena in Orlando, Florida
This introduction is awesome, look at the participants we have here. A packed Rumble if there ever was one. The extra matches aren’t entirely impressive, especially considering one of them is a rematch of the worst match from WrestleMania V. Our hosts are Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura, who’s wearing a set of Mickey ears. Haha. Judging by the card listings before this event, it wasn’t like the wrestlers had days set aside for local promotion. It was nothing like it is now.
The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers
Pre-Match Thoughts: I’m not looking forward to this at all, can’t even feign interest. As stated, their match at WrestleMania was absolutely terrible. Why would this be any difference? Jacques has grown a beard, so there’s not even the pretense of still caring as far as he goes. The crowd cared about the Bushwhackers far more than they should have, so that’s a good sign for a hot crowd.
Match Review: The Bushwhackers scared the Rougeaus out of the ring, about as you’d figure. They got in and did their hug routine, then it was time for Raymond to lock up with Butch. Raymond tries to hold him in place for Jacques, but Luke runs in to scare Jacques away. So, Raymond eventually puts a sleeper on Butch, and Butch rams him into the buckle to break it. After biting the ass, Butch does the same to the referee. Haha. The Bushwhackers hit Raymond and Jacques with a double clothesline, then go for the BATTERING RAM only for Jacques to leave the ring. Luke tags in after some taunting, as does Jacques. Luke gets the better of the punching, and the better of the biting. Jacques dodges Luke, and Luke reponds to that by clotheslining Raymond. Butch runs in with a clothesline from behind on Jacques, and they do the Bushwhacker walk around the ring. Raymond clotheslines Luke from behind, and now they have some control. Luke gets choked with the tag rope, and Jacques covers for 2. Raymond uses the savate kick for 2, and sends Luke out of the ring. Jacques rams the guy into the apron, and Luke tries biting Raymond to be able to make a tag. It didn’t work. Jacques hits Luke with a forearm from the apron which gets 2 for Raymond, then he tags in for a flying back elbow. The Rougeaus then drop Luke throat-first on the top rope, and Raymond puts him in a chinlock afterward. Luke breaks free with a bite, but Jacques makes a tag in and cuts him off. He returns the favor with his own bite, and puts Luke an abdominal stretch. The camera shots really get over how full the building was, by the way. Raymond tags in and hits Luke in the gut, then goes back to the chinlock. It’s time for a tag, I think. Jacques tags in and bodyslams Luke, then he goes for a splash that misses. Luke makes the corner, and there’s the tag!
Butch comes in with a clothesline to the gut on Jacques, and a knee lift too for 2. All four guys are in there now, and the Rougeaus get thrown into each other. Time for the BATTERING RAM, and Jimmy Hart grabs hold of Luke. Butch hits Raymond with a clothesline, and now it’s time for Hart to take some punishment. The Rougeaus hit the Bushwhackers with stereo dropkicks instead, and those got a 2 count. Raymond puts Butch in a Boston crab, and Luke trips Jacques before he can do anything else. It’s time for the BATTERING RAM, which is dished out to both brothers. Butch pins Jacques, and that gets the victory for the Bushwhackers at 13:35!
My Thoughts: This wasn’t as bad as I remembered, which isn’t to say it was good. It was just not as bad. At least it wasn’t super long, and the crowd cared about it enough to make it slightly interesting. The finish had good action even though the match at large did not. * for it all. The Rougeau Brothers were on their way out of the promotion after this, which meant they had to do a clean job. Also meant that there needed to be a replacement team headed in. One came, even though they hadn’t replaced the last team who left (the Brain Busters).
In the back, we have Ted DiBiase with Mean Gene! He doesn’t seem too happy about the way the draw went for him. This is great, playing on the previous year. He showed Okerlund, and Okerlund shows that DiBiase got #1. Haha. DiBiase says it doesn’t matter, and cuts a good promo about it.
The Genius vs. Brutus Beefcake
Pre-Match Thoughts: Unless Poffo does some flips, this match sounds outright terrible. One can hope. The crowd may make it better through their love of the Barber. I am still surprised that Poffo got a gimmick that allowed him to have important matches, although not too many of them. His gimmick was also a total heat magnet, the smart gimmick ALWAYS works.
Match Review: The Genius gets so much heat by doing the prancing and stretching. It’s funny stuff. The stalling and cartwheeling is just as good. When they finally lock up, the Barber tells him to kiss his ass. They get in the corner and Genius goes to the eyes, then he heads up for punches in the corner only for Beefcake to give him an inverted atomic drop. Genius heads out of the ring for a bit, and when he gets back in, it’s back to the eyes. He misses a charge to the corner though, and Beefcake grabs hold of his hands to stomp on them. He crotches Genius on the top rope, and the “faggot” chants start. That’s Florida for you. Ventura turned it around by saying the crowd was in favor of Brutus, hailing from San Francisco. Haha. Genius comes back with kicks, but Beefcake has one of his own. The Genius hits Beefcake with a dropkick for 2, and rolls him up for another 2 count. Genius follows with a bodyslam, and heads up top only for Beefcake to clock him on the way down. Beefcake follows that with another shot to the gut, and he signals for the SLEEPER. Instead, it’s a bodyslam, and he stomps on his face. Beefcake puts the Genius in the SLEEPER, but he gets out of it and Beefcake tosses him into the referee. Great. The Barber goes back to the sleeper and has it locked, but there’s no referee. The Genius is sleeping, so it’s time to CUT SOME HAIR. The Barber has the scissors, and there goes some hair off the top! Mr. Perfect rushes out there to deal with this shit, and starts clobbering Beefcake with right hands. He drops Beefcake with the PERFECT-PLEX, but the bell has rung for a double disqualification at 11:03. Perfect has a chair that he hits Beefcake with, and he keeps doing it. Now we have a WrestleMania match!
My Thoughts: I was sufficiently entertained by the match. It didn’t have a lot of action, but it was funny as hell and that took up the vast majority of the match. The booking was right, obviously. They had to get Perfect in something for WrestleMania and this was the proper way to go about things. I like that these matches have been properly set up. I’d give this *1/2 even though I don’t really know if it had the action to merit that rating. I do enjoy Poffo’s matches with this gimmick, they’re all funny.
Sean Mooney is with the Heenan Family, who are ready for the ROYAL RUMBLE. They had a bit of an argument over who was going to win the Royal Rumble, and we cut to a WrestleMania commercial. BAH GAWD, TORONTO, THE SKYDOME, CANADA, etc.
Greg Valentine (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Ron Garvin in a SUBMISSION MATCH
Pre-Match Thoughts: Obviously, the only way to win this match is by making your opponent give up. These two had been feuding for so long, it was about time for that thing to finish up. These guys got jobber entrances, I didn’t quite understand that until I realized neither of them had theme music. At least they got a singles match that had a long window for time, can’t complain about that! Garvin has a shin guard for this, just like Valentine. Interesting wrinkle.
Match Review: Valentine wants to leave, but Garvin meets him in the aisle and chops away. They get back in the ring, and Valentine gets rammed into the buckle a LOT. He comes back with chops, and Garvin lands some to knock him down. They duke it out for a bit, and Valentine gets the better and elbow drops him. He tries another and misses, then turns the shin guard around for more punishment. After a headbutt down low, Valentine tries to cover even though they don’t count. He lands more punches on Garvin, and once again they trade with both men going down at the end after a headbutt. Garvin goes for a PILEDRIVER, but Valentine reverses into a backdrop. He sits on top and wants a cover, but these guys need to get in the groove of NO COVERS. They collide with each other, and Valentine gets kicked into the turnbuckle after. Yet again, a cover that doesn’t count. Guys, come on. Valentine hits Garvin with a knee drop, and now it’s time for a submission! The shin guard is in place during the figure-four, but Garvin has his own on so it doesn’t even hurt. He doesn’t sell any of it, and Valentine lets go of the figure-four. Garvin cradles Valentine up for nothing, I kind of can’t believe all these pins. Valentine picks Garvin up for an over the shoulder backbreaker, but Garvin isn’t gonna quit because of that. Valentine drops an elbow on him, and they start choking each other. Garvin picks Valentine up and chops him, and hits him with some headbutts too. Garvin follows with a drop toe-hold, and goes to work with a modified INDIAN DEATHLOCK type hold. Valentine reaches the ropes, and the guys head outside now. They trade chops, and Garvin tries a piledriver on the floor that gets reversed again. Maybe he should stop with the piledrivers. Back in they go and Garvin misses a charge to the corner, hooking himself upside down. Valentine stomps away, and the guys collide with each other again shortly after. Hart sees the opportunity, goes for Garvin’s shin guard, and rips it off. That’s some great cheating, there. Valentine gives Garvin a backbreaker, and it’s time for the FIGURE-FOUR. This time it works. Garvin reverses it, and Valentine has to make the ropes. Garvin tries to get up and falls down, so now what? Valentine knee drops the affected leg, and goes for the figure-four again only for Garvin to turn it into a cradle and break free. Valentine now heads up top, and Garvin gets up in time to slam him down. That wasn’t such a great spot as Garvin wasn’t up quickly enough. Garvin rips off Valentine’s shin guard now, equaling things up. Of course, Valentine rolls Garvin up. WHY? Garvin hits Valentine with a big right and ties him up in the ropes, and he brings in Hart. Good selling on Garvin’s part during all this. He hits Valentine with his own shin guard, locks him up in a SHARPSHOOTER, and gets the victory at 16:52!
My Thoughts: There were some things about this match that really made sense, and some that didn’t. What did make sense was the use of shin guards and the sell job that Garvin did on his leg. I thought that was great, as were the chopping sequences. The pin sequences were absolutely not. They drove me nuts. I was surprised that these guys were able to have a long match, perhaps they were used to having them on the house show circuit though. **3/4, I’ve seen higher and lower ratings, but this is where I’m at. The pins just annoyed me too much.
Mean Gene is with Mr. Perfect, who has comments about what happened earlier with Brutus Beefcake. He said he’s tired of the Barber cutting people’s hair, and when he cut his friend’s hair, that was the last straw. He also said that he drew the PERFECT NUMBER, it’s #30! So, no suspense in that.
Next up, we have a terrible Brother Love Show. Exactly what I did not want to see. His guest is Queen Sherri! They talk about peasants, of course meaning Sapphire. After running her down, Sapphire makes an appearance. The shit talking continues, and nobody will let Sapphire talk. This was obviously going to happen. Eventually, they started talking about how fat Dusty was. Sapphire gets fed up with it, and slaps Sherri! The Macho King runs out and grabs hold of her, and here’s Dusty Rhodes! Macho flies to the outside with BOMBS AWAY, and Sapphire climbs on Macho’s back. Brother Love pulls Sapphire off, and the referees head out there to pull the two sides apart. That’s another WrestleMania match! Brother Love grabs the microphone like an idiot, and the crowd spurs Dusty on to beat the shit out of this clown. YES! Sapphire gets in a slap too, and the crowd popped huge for all that. Good segment. This crowd is really hot, they’ll pop for just about anything.
The Big Boss Man (w/Slick) vs. Jim Duggan
Pre-Match Thoughts: The WON pertaining to this PPV ripped this match to shreds. I don’t remember it quite being that bad, so we shall see. Before the match, Hacksaw has a promo about it. He said it was a matter of time before these two got in the ring to battle with each other. Boss Man was so close to making his turn that this match was a little irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Hacksaw still didn’t have music, which makes no sense as nearly everyone else did. I’ll be glad when they all do.
Match Review: After the guys put aside their weapons, they lock up in a titanic clash. After trading punches, Boss Man eats a clothesline. Hacksaw knocks him out of the ring with a shoulderblock, and does his shtick while waiting for Boss Man to get back in. Instead, Boss Man drags him out to the floor, and Hacksaw beats him up only for Boss Man to post him. Boss Man misses a charge and hits the post, and it’s time for them to get back in there. Hacksaw throws Boss Man into the buckle, and Boss Man returns the favor, following with a splash in the corner afterward. Boss Man hits Hacksaw with an enziguri, and there’s a headbutt. Boss Man gives him a leapfrog body guillotine as well, and Hacksaw’s ready for his comeback. Or not, Boss Man knocks him down quickly afterward for 2. The match has slowed down a little bit, but Slick choked Hacksaw with a chain to make up for it. Boss Man puts Hacksaw in a neck vice now, which Hacksaw fights out of until Boss Man meets him with a knee. Boss Man puts the chinlock back on, then breaks it. This match needs Duggan to start the comeback. Boss Man tried a bear hug, and takes Duggan down with it. This started well and has spiraled downward. These guys choke each other now, and Duggan charges at Boss Man with a clothesline that sends him over the top. Great spot. He rolls back in, and Hacksaw looks so gassed out. Boss Man misses an elbow drop, then Hacksaw goes into the corner for punches. Hacksaw misses a charge to the corner and gets clotheslined, so Boss Man heads up top. The big splash misses! These guys collide with each other after that, and slowly make it to their feet just in time. Slick grabs hold of Duggan and Boss Man accidentally charges into Slick, then Boss Man gets the nightstick and clocks Duggan with it for the DQ at 10:23. Long sentence, but that summed it up. After the match, Hacksaw got his 2×4 and cleaned house with a big shot to Boss Man’s back, and one to Slick too.
My Thoughts: This match started hot, and I thought it was going to be pretty good. In the end, it was not. Hacksaw looked blown up or concussed, and couldn’t do a whole lot. ** is an acceptable rating for this one. Boss Man was primed to turn, and I thought he was great as a singles babyface. As a singles heel, it seemed like he was trying too hard to not go full blown and do anything that would hurt his momentum. Fine with me! Duggan needed to get in better shape, that was clear to me.
Time for the Royal Rumble promo roll! First up, it’s Dino Bravo and the CANADIAN EARTHQUAKE! They didn’t have anything great to offer, and neither did Demolition. Demolition said that this year, they were going to have a chance to beat up everyone else rather than beat each other. Bad News Brown’s promo was particularly good. Dusty Rhodes was a parody of himself, really. The Rockers are ready for the Rumble, they hope they get to face the Powers of Pain. We’ll see about that. Hercules is going to fulfill his destiny and all that, in this here Rumble Royal. The Model is more interested in, um, modeling than anything else. Tito Santana screamed at the camera for a little bit, and next up was SUPERFLY SNUKA. He didn’t say much. Slick talks on behalf of Akeem, and says he’s the baddest and the best. ULTIMATE WARRIOR TIME! IF THE NORMALS WANT TO HAVE SPECIAL ATTRACTIONS SUCH AS ROYAL RUMBLE, THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR WILL DEFEAT THOSE CHALLENGES. He got twice the mic time of anyone else, and said that Hulk Hogan was different from the others, just like him.
After a bit with Tony and Jesse talking about what’s to come, it’s time for the next bunch of promos. THE MACHO KING is ready, and he’s not only concentrated on Dusty Rhodes, but the rest of the Federation. The Powers of Pain’s promo was hilarious, with the noises and all that. Jake Roberts decided to talk about the concept of the Rumble. Great stuff there. The Hart Foundation did their usual bit, with Bret having to calm Neidhart down. Honky Tonk Man is gonna play some hits, 29 of them. Sounds like a great album. Hulk Hogan goes through his usual spiel,
THE ROYAL RUMBLE
Pre-Match Thoughts: This is one of my favorite Rumbles due to the talent that’s in it. It was rare for the WWF to have shows where everything came together perfectly, and I think Royal Rumbles are the best example of shows that can come together perfectly, and it’s easier than other PPV’s to do it. All of the talent in one place, one match, makes for a unique mix. You have wrestlers who would otherwise never be in a match at the same time as others. Or, like Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan, wrestlers who wouldn’t show up in the same match for 15 more years.
Match Review: #1 is Ted DiBiase, as we know. The crowd popped that DiBiase entered #1, which made for a weird mix of sound. #2 is KOKO B. WARE. THE BIRDMAN! DiBiase attacks him, so here we go! He hits Koko with a back elbow, but Koko isn’t going to be done after that. He no-sells some turnbuckle shots, and pokes DiBiase in the eye. A dropkick by Koko follows that, and so do some headbutts. Koko takes a charge at DiBiase, and the Million Dollar Man backdrops him over the top for the first elimination at 1:38. #3 is going to be Marty Jannetty! Nice countdown, too. They should have kept using the music. Marty dropkicks DiBiase a few times, and gets booted in the face on a charge to the corner. A clothesline follows that and Marty does a somersault sell off it. DiBiase comes off the top with a big nothing and gets hit in the gut, so Marty follows with a flying back elbow. Marty charges at DiBiase with a cross body, and out he goes as DiBiase ducks. Well, shit. #4 is here, and it’s JAKE ROBERTS. WHAT A POP! This is exactly what people wanted to see, and they’re going to get it. Great booking. DiBiase attacks and heads outside, where he gives Roberts a bodyslam. He slaps the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM on Roberts, but Roberts posts him to get out of it. They get back in and the Snake backdrops DiBiase, and there’s a short clothesline too. Roberts signals for the DDT, but DiBiase backdrops him. After a missed elbow drop by DiBiase, they fight in the corner until #5 is here. It’s THE MACHO KING! He attacks Roberts from behind, and gets clotheslined shortly after. Roberts misses a charge with a knee lift, and Savage drops a knee on him from the second rope. Savage and DiBiase utilize some double teams, and tie Roberts up in the ropes. #6 is RODDY PIPER, so Jake gets some help! Piper’s run to the ring with extended arms was amazing. He takes out Savage and DiBiase to an enormous pop, and uses a double clothesline on them. Biggest pop of the show by far. Roberts and Piper tease hitting each other, but not yet. Haha. Savage nearly dumps Piper, and Piper exchanges the favor, but no elimination yet. #7 is the Warlord, so we have the biggest disparity ever between 5 wrestlers in a match. Those four and…THE WARLORD. He attacks Piper first, but can’t use all that muscle to throw him out. DiBiase and Savage team up on Roberts, but he’s not going anywhere yet. This is the first time I’ve seen Savage wear pants, by the way. Just noticed. #8 is Bret Hart, and the crowd popped as big for him as they did the other guys. What an insane match this is. DiBiase accidentally hits Savage, so let’s see if they keep teaming up. Bret blocks a charge from the Warlord, and teams up with Piper to hit the guy with a double clothesline. Bret tries to eliminate Savage, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. Piper and Roberts have been fighting, and it seems like time for #9. That man is…Bad News Brown. DiBiase comes off the second rope with a double axehandle to Roberts, but Roberts comes back with a short clothesline. He goes for the DDT, but Savage clotheslines Roberts over the top to eliminate him at 14:45.
After that double team, it would seem we need a babyface in the match to even things out. Piper hits DiBiase with a clothesline and they tease the elimination, but Savage makes the save. #10 is in the building, it’s DUSTY RHODES! He runs straight for Savage to deal with that guy immediately. He hits him with elbows, and Savage tries a charge at him only to be backdropped over the top at 14:45! He’s out! It’s weird seeing Piper occupied with the Warlord during the majority of his time in the match. Bad News and DiBiase are dealing with Bret Hart, and #11 heads in during that. It is…ANDRE THE GIANT! The greats just keep coming. Andre goes straight for the Warlord, and hip tosses him out pretty much immediately. The crowd popped, I was surprised. Fuji gets on the apron in anger, and we have a spot where Heenan pulls him down and shoves him. TENSION! Andre squashes Dusty in the corner now, and brings in Piper to do it to them both. The star power here is amazing. Dusty and Piper turn the tables for a second, but get dropped with a noggin-knocker. #12 is the Red Rooster, who runs out to the ring quickly and gets grabbed by Dusty. Haha. Piper evades an elimination from Bad News, and shortly after, backdrops Bad News over the top and out. Bad News isn’t so happy about that, so he pulls Piper out of the ring at 20:24. No time between those eliminations. Of course, Piper is just as angry as Bad News was, so they brawl all the way to the back. Really surprised this is the way they decided to use Piper at WrestleMania. It’s nearly time for #13, who is Ax of Demolition! Andre throws Rooster over the top as he enters the ring, so that’s another elimination for the big man.
Ax goes straight for Andre and clobbers him, and the crowd starts getting on Heenan’s back too. Dusty goes back for Andre now, and ties him up in the ropes. Ax and Dusty hit Andre with elbows, which is a hell of a spot. I’m greatly enjoying this. They try to pick Andre up, get hit in the gut, and that’s the end of that. #14 is Haku, so Andre’s partner is in there now. He drills Haku as DiBiase is dealing with Bret. Other than Andre, this thing has really slowed down. He stands on Ax to get a big reaction from the crowd, and Dusty starts hitting Haku with his best stuff. I’m pretty sure #15 will be Smash. It is! He runs out there and saves Ax from Andre, as they knock him back to the canvas. Finally it has been noticed that the #1 entrant is still there. About time. Haku gets hit with a double back elbow by Demolition, and Bret tries to get rid of DiBiase only for Haku to get up and make the save. #16 is there and it’s AKEEM, who attacks Andre for some reason. Weird match! Demolition hits Andre with a double clothesline that nearly sends him out, and Haku gets one too. During that, Bret gets sneakily eliminated by Dusty Rhodes and it gets completely unmentioned. Awesome. Demolition hits Andre with another double clothesline, and out he goes at 28:32! Finally Bret Hart’s elimination was mentioned. A future WWF Champion deserves much better. DiBiase gives Smash an inverted atomic drop, and #17 makes his way out…it’s THE SUPERFLY! He gets attacked by Akeem, but comes back with a flying headbutt to send him out! Snuka and Haku team up for a headbutt on Smash, then they start fighting right after. I thought they’d stick together! #18 is Dino Bravo, who slowly runs to the ring to bring his generally crappy brand of punishment. He and Haku tangle up, and Bravo tries to throw Haku out only for Snuka to put a stop to it. In theory, Demolition should be clearing the ring out here. Instead, they hit DiBiase with a double back elbow. #19 is the CANADIAN EARTHQUAKE, who should start throwing some of these guys out. He goes for Dusty Rhodes, and sends him out with a clothesline at 34:17. That’s a way to put a new guy over.
Earthquake turns his attention to Ax right after, and picks him up for a slam that sends him out. What a BEAST. Next up is Haku, but he doesn’t throw him out at all. That’s good, I suppose. Snuka is with DiBiase and Smash is with Bravo, who he clotheslines. #20 is the Anvil! He runs out to deal with Earthquake, he ain’t scared. Three guys go for Earthquake now, and call for Snuka as well. DiBiase helps, and before Bravo can get there, the other five guys eliminated Earthquake at 36:31. That means we have a spot for another dominant top guy. Make it happen, please. It’s time for #21, and he’s THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR! BIGGEST POP OF ALL! He goes for Bravo immediately, and no-sells an inverted atomic drop. Then, he backdrops Bravo over the top for the elimination at 38:10. For whatever reason, they didn’t have another elimination ready for Warrior, so the match settled into familiar patterns. Dibiase gets chopped into oblivion by Neidhart and Warrior, but no elimination yet! #22 is Rick Martel, so maybe this match will get a bit more action. Not really, but it has been a lot of fun anyway. He tries to get rid of Neidhart, but I don’t anticipate that happening. Haku backdrops Smash onto the apron, and kicks him out shortly after. I’m surprised Haku is the last one standing of the Colossal Connection and Demolition. Martel gets clotheslined over the top and holds on for dear life, so he isn’t out yet either. #23 is Tito Santana, who goes right for Rick Martel. These guys should have faced each other at WrestleMania. Could have had the same result and all, it should have happened. Tito can’t eliminate him, as Warrior smacks Haku with a clothesline. Warrior goes for Martel now, as they seem to be just filling time for a little bit. #24 is here, and it’s the Honky Tonk Man! I thought it was going to be somebody else. He pairs off with Snuka, and we have a pile of guys that throw out Neidhart. Shortly after, Warrior hits DiBiase with a clothesline, and out he goes at 44:50. He spent such a long time in the ring, much respect for that. Santana tries to get rid of Martel again, but nothing doing as far as that goes. #25 runs out, it’s THE HULKSTER! Jesse actually put him over as being a big deal. Quite rare.
Hogan goes straight for Snuka, and sends him out with a clothesline at 46:05. Over to Haku now, and he drills him with a back elbow. A big boot follows that, and out Haku goes 20 seconds later. Hogan goes for HTM, and nails him with a back elbow as well. Santana goes to eliminate Martel, but it turns out that Warrior pushes Santana out instead. So, Martel’s still in there. Only four guys in the Rumble right now, oddly enough. Shawn Michaels heads out there as #26, and Hogan throws out HTM during that entrance, at 48:01. Warrior throws out Shawn Michaels at 48:09, and out goes Martel thanks to Warrior at 48:12. SO NOW, WE HAVE THE SHOWDOWN. The crowd goes nuts realizing what is about to happen, and the two wrestlers start shoving each other. They collide twice with nobody going down, and do a criss-cross! They nail each other with a double clothesline, and we’re back at square one. I noticed that Heenan stayed at ringside to watch even though his guy was eliminated from the match. So did Mr. Fuji. Wouldn’t you? #27 has to head in to put an end to this, and it’s the Barbarian. He drops an elbow on Hogan, and has one for the Warrior too. He hits Hogan with a big boot as well, and Rick Rude jumps the gun very early to enter at #28. Okay, then. He goes for Warrior, his old nemesis. He takes Warrior out with a dropkick, and the heels team up to get rid of Hogan. Warrior makes the save, then the two heels put Warrior up on their shoulders. Time for Warrior to go? Yes, it is, because Hogan clotheslines the backs of Rude and Barbarian, which causes them to drop Warrior to the floor at 52:20. Warrior rushes into the ring afterward, clotheslines Rude and Barbarian, then leaves. HAHA. That was great. #29 is Hercules, and there’s no suspense in who the last man is. Hercules got booed somewhat on the way in there. He attacks the heels anyway, and sends Barbarian and Rude into the boot of Hogan. Hogan slams the Barbarian and drops an elbow on him, then goes for the elimination. Not going to happen yet. He clotheslines Barbarian, rakes Rude’s back, and here comes Mr. Perfect as #30!
Perfect runs out to the ring, not that he needed to. Hercules backdrops Barbarian over the top at 55:33, and we’re down to the FINAL FOUR! Hercules, Hogan, Rude, and Mr. Perfect. Perfect hits Hercules with a dropkick, Rude follows with a clothesline, and out he goes at 56:04. It’s 2 on 1, but Hogan is capable in these circumstances. Rude accidentally hits Perfect with a big right forearm, and that sends Perfect out to the apron. Rude gets shot into the ropes, and Perfect pulls the top one down to send him out at 57:01. Perfect now goes to work on Hogan with a clothesline, and tells the crowd he’s going to throw Hogan out. We shall see. He uses the PERFECT-PLEX, and Hogan doesn’t sell that at all. Of course. It’s not a great finisher to begin with. He trips Perfect and catapults him into the post, then clotheslines him as well. Hogan grabs hold of Perfect, and out he goes at 58:43! HOGAN WINS!
After the usual posing, and posturing with a banner, that’s the end of the show.
My Thoughts: I have a lot to say about this. Let’s take it from the top. The beginning sequences with the early entrants were the best booked of any Rumble. So much starpower in the ring at the same time, looking back it’s hard to believe one company could accumulate all that talent. It’s even harder to believe they could accumulate it and not be able to fill buildings every single night. Andre did far more in this match than expected. He did quite a good job, I thought. The match petered out a bit in the middle, but once Warrior got in things got back on track. It was a joke that Michaels was in the match for such a short period of time, but the clash of the titans was absolutely necessary to see. It probably sold a lot of people on WrestleMania. The last four guys also did a good job, even though the result was entirely predictable. I have to disagree with the people who say Mr. Perfect should have won this match. He absolutely should not have. Hogan needed to remain strong for WrestleMania, and in addition to that, he shouldn’t have lost the match to anyone he wasn’t facing at WrestleMania. The Ultimate Warrior should have won this match as it would have conditioned people to the possibility that he’d become champion. But, seeing as he didn’t, the surprise when he actually did beat Hogan was a hell of a lot greater. **** for this match, the explanations tell the tale. If I was going to take any off, it would have been due to the middle of the match. The crowd and announcing really helped make the match. Also, I found the situational booking to be really good, and something that wasn’t used much in the previous two Rumble matches. They eventually learned to not put all the starpower in at the beginning, but I like it better this way.
So, as with most Rumble events, the quality of the show rests with the Rumble. Maybe you’ll get one or two decent matches before it. Here, we had a strong Rumble that I really enjoyed, and one good match. It also turned out that the WWF did lose some of their profit margin by waiting until the last minute for PPV providers to carry the show. Obviously that wasn’t the right thing to do, and that’s why PPV remained the way it was for so long. Anyway, I thought this was a good way to spend three hours. There are better Rumble shows, but this was just fine. Looking forward to the next time I get to one, but the next article is going to be about SNME #25. I’ve watched 25 of those!
Wrestling Time: 1:50:36. A lot given the Brother Love show they had on here.
Best: THE ROYAL RUMBLE. It was fun, with a lot of legends in it.
Worst: Bushwhackers vs. Rougeau Brothers. At least it wasn’t as bad as their other PPV match!
Card Rating: 7.5/10. Half the match time was taken up by something that was bordering on great, and the other matches were inoffensive.
