Sage Cortez
After how ridiculous the WCW stuff has gotten, I’m really happy to be going back to the WWF for some wrestling action. Action may be an overstatement, but it makes more sense than some of the stuff I’ve watched. I’m very interested to see how their burgeoning feuds were continued. Of note, Dino Bravo quit. I’m very thankful for that. He would show up on house shows, but not work on anything I’m going to watch again. I also read that the Ultimate Warrior vs. Undertaker matches were doing great business.
– Taped to air May 4th, 1991, on Superstars, from Civic Auditorium in Omaha, Nebraska
The Rockers vs. The Nasty Boys (w/Jimmy Hart) for the WWF Tag Team Championships
Pre-Match Thoughts: There really are a lot of Civic Auditoriums in this country. There used to be even more. Factor in Memorial Auditoriums and I bet we’re approaching four figures. Anyway, this is a great Superstars match for the fans. No disputing that. The Superstars announce team at this point was Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper, and Randy Savage. What a crew!
Match Review: Knobbs and Jannetty lock up, and Knobbs goes to the punching early. Marty blocks a charge to the corner, smashes Knobbs face into the mat after leaping off the second rope, and the referee fails to notice the cover. Damn. Marty goes for a cradle, but Knobbs makes a blind tag. Marty superkicks Sags, and that gets 2. Michaels flies in off a tag with a shoulderblock from the top, and knocks Knobbs to the outside with a dropkick. Michaels misses a dropkick because Knobbs prevents Sags from running into it, and we now have an insert promo from the LEGION OF DOOM. Knobbs tags in during it, and clotheslines Michaels. That was a hard one. After a count of 2, Sags tags back in, and Michaels dodges a big boot attempt, then crotching Sags on the post. Knobbs flies off the apron with a double axehandle to knock Michaels down, and makes a legal tag in shortly after. He picks Michaels up and tags back out, as he powerslams Michaels. Sags goes up top, but Marty runs in and causes Sags to fall on the top rope. Marty makes a legal tag, and Knobbs gets in there, so Sags accidentally charges into him. Marty dodges an elbow drop, causing Sags to elbow drop Knobbs, and we have total anarchy. Knobbs gets the motorcycle helmet and Marty backdrops him, then the referee rings the bell for a disqualification at 4:36.
My Thoughts: There was no reason for the disqualification at all. These four guys were going balls out for a nothing match, that’s for sure. They could have put on an amazing 10 minute match if they had that sort of pace. I’m going to give this **1/4 even though it was less than five minutes and had a non-finish. This is the kind of thing I’d like to see on weekly television. They did so much I had a hard time keeping up!
– Taped to air May 11th, 1991, on Superstars, from Civic Auditorium in Omaha, Nebraska
Rick Martel vs. Roddy Piper
Pre-Match Thoughts: This is the first match of Piper’s I’ve watched after his death. This is going to be a little difficult for me. In Martel, we have a guy doing one last job before he leaves.
Match Review: Martel checks under Piper’s kilt, which seems to be a bad idea. He talks about Piper’s physique, then Piper goes on the attack. A hip toss takes Martel down, then Piper clotheslines him to the outside. Piper follows with a double axehandle from the apron, then tosses Martel into the post. Back inside, we have an insert promo from Ted DiBiase as Piper continues to beat Martel up. Martel sneaks in a cheap shot to the throat, and now Piper starts selling a bad knee. From his “motorcycle accident,” you see. Martel smashes Piper’s knee into the mat, and starts removing a bandage from it. Piper goes for a suplex, but Martel falls on top for 2. Martel clotheslines Piper for another 2 count, and tries to leap off the second rope only for Piper to hit him on the way down. Piper follows that by crotching Martel on the top rope, and pulling him across that rope. Sounds like it would hurt. Piper has the bandage wrapped around Martel’s throat, pokes him in the eye, and throws him over the top rope to hang him. Only Piper. Piper follows again, throws a cup of water into Martel’s face, and sends him back inside. Piper then puts Martel in a small package, and covers him for the victory at 5:09!
My Thoughts: That was fun to watch, despite the feelings of profound sadness that I had. *3/4, it wasn’t a good match, but the fans got their money’s worth. There’s only ever going to be one Roddy Piper, nobody can follow him.
– Taped to air May 19th, 1991, on Wrestling Challenge, at the Five Seasons Center in Cedar Rapids, Iowa
The Warlord (w/Slick) vs. Bret Hart
Pre-Match Thoughts: I wanted to check in and see how Bret’s singles push was going. Even against a guy who couldn’t work, I think it’s relevant viewing. Warlord facing somebody who isn’t British Bulldog is different too.
Match Review: Bret puts a headlock on Warlord, but runs into the brick wall. Warlord tries that again, and this time Bret rakes his eyes and trips him. What a smart wrestler. Warlord gets up and catches Bret in a bear hug, which Bret bites his way out of. Bret trips Warlord again for 2, but Warlord comes back with a side slam. Warlord follows that with a press slam, and throws Bret hard into the corner, hurting his back. Warlord bodyslams Bret, and misses a splash, so it’s comeback time I hope. Bret hits him with punches, rams Warlord into the buckle, and walks up the buckles for 10 punches. Now Bret gives Warlord an inverted atomic drop, and clotheslines him down. After an elbow from the second rope, Bret covers for 2. Bret takes Warlord down with another clothesline for 2, and uses a leapfrog body guillotine. Slick then hits Bret with his cane when Bret goes for another, so Bret grabs him. He hits Slick, then grabs the cane and hits Warlord too, so both guys get disqualified at 5:32.
My Thoughts: This was a great case of Bret getting a watchable TV match out of somebody who wasn’t that good. In the process, he also made the Warlord look quite good. I was pleasantly surprised. ** is about as good as you’d get for a WWF syndicated TV match.
– Taped to air May 25th, 1991, on Superstars, from the Metro Centre in Rockford, Illinois
The Funeral Parlor with Jake Roberts
Jake Roberts wasn’t going to be a babyface much longer, but he was one here. He was here to talk about Damien being taken from him by Earthquake. He said a few things about the Undertaker as well, namely that he had his hands full. If only people knew. They teased the turn too, by saying that Jake Roberts would share his secrets with the Ultimate Warrior. Well, I WONDER WHERE THIS IS HEADING.
– Taped to air June 1st, 1991, on Superstars, from the Metro Centre in Rockford, Illinois
ANDRE THE GIANT GETS ATTACKED
They had done skits where Andre was courting managers to see which one wanted his services. We then got to this, and Jimmy Hart wanted to team Earthquake and Andre together. Andre looked like he couldn’t even walk and Jimmy had to help him to the ring. Andre and Earthquake shake hands, but Andre says he’s not going to team up with Earthquake. Hart and Earthquake were not too happy about that, and when Andre puts his hands on Hart, Earthquake attacks him with the megaphone. Quake works on Andre’s leg, until officials come out there to put a stop to it. In a sad moment, Andre has to use the rail to make it to the back. They wanted to do matches where Andre would face Earthquake, but obviously Andre wasn’t in condition to do that.
– June 3rd, 1991, from Madison Square Garden in New York City, New York
The Barbarian (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. Bret Hart
Pre-Match Thoughts: The push continues. This could actually be a very good match. Fuji was there because Bobby Heenan needed to do commentary. No complaints, I’d rather hear what he has to say than see him sit there. Also on this show, they had a match between Jim Duggan and Col. Mustafa where Duggan didn’t even get put over. Bret’s ring gear with the new jacket looked really sick and very modern. Even still.
Match Review: After a lot of stalling, the match finally starts with these guys locking up and going to the corner. Barbarian then runs Bret over so badly that he falls onto the announce table, but Bret gets back in the ring for more. Barbarian stops a Bret charge at him with his shoulder, then catches Bret for a bodyslam. Barbarian misses the elbow drop, and Bret punches him to the outside. When Barbarian gets back in, Bret goes to work on his left arm for a bit. Barbarian gets up, puts his head down, and Bret goes back to the arm. Simple but effective. Barbarian comes back with a big boot, then kicks Bret out to the floor. Barbarian follows Bret for some reason, and I suppose it was to ram his back into the post. Bret crawls back into the ring, and Barbarian throws him to the corner at super speed. I love that bump. Bret tries a leap at Barbarian after that, and Barbarian slaps a bear hug on him which Bret quickly breaks. Barbarian throws Bret into the corner and puts it back on, so this isn’t exactly the best match. Bret bites Barbarian to get out of it again, but Barbarian drops him with a side slam. Barbarian now heads up to the second rope, and comes down with an elbow drop that misses the mark. Bret gets up and goes to work, giving Barbarian an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline that gets 2. Bret beats Barbarian up a little more, and puts a backbreaker on him. Second rope, there’s the elbow for 2. Bret uses a Russian leg sweep for yet another 2 count, and when Barbarian kicks out, he shoves Bret out of the ring. Barbarian tries to bring Bret in with a suplex, but Bret flips out of it. Fuji then trips Bret as he runs the ropes, and Barbarian clotheslines Bret from behind. Fuji gets on the apron for a cane shot, hits Barbarian with it, and the referee counts the fall for Bret at 12:09.
Heenan and Fuji argue with each other for a bit, and the fans are much more excited by this than the match. It doesn’t go any further than that.
My Thoughts: I thought this was simply a standard match, with Bret not quite making Barbarian look as good as the Warlord. However, given 12 minutes, that would have been very hard to do. Bret going over with a pin is a good sign for his push, seeing as just about every match on these shows doesn’t end definitively unless one person is demonstrably lower on the card than the other. To this point, that wasn’t the case with these two. **.
The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. The Big Boss Man
Pre-Match Thoughts: I thought the way their first match at MSG finished meant that there shouldn’t be another on one of these house shows. Instead, we get one. I skipped an Earthquake vs. Jake Roberts match because it was over 10 minutes long. Forget that. Boss Man was interviewed before the match, and he clearly had a problem with the Mountie still.
Match Review: Mountie keeps Boss Man at bay with his shock stick, and when the referee takes the stick from the Mountie, Boss Man gets in and goes to work. He rams Mountie’s head into the buckle to the point of concussion, and stomps on his hands when he falls down. Boss Man uses a leapfrog body guillotine to pile on, and follows with a second. Poor guy. Boss Man picks Mountie up and uses a running powerslam, but it only gets 2. Only British Bulldog gets wins with that. Now Mountie ducks out of the ring, but Boss Man follows and slugs him. Mountie gets back in the ring and Boss Man smacks him around, then Boss Man heads up top. Boss Man comes down, but clotheslines himself on the top rope. That’s…rare. Mountie clocks Boss Man and goes to the outside, hitting him in a way that causes Boss Man to hit his head on the floor. Probably not the way that was planned. Mountie hits Boss Man with a flying back elbow that gets 2, but Boss Man comes back with punches and a back elbow of his own. A splash by the Boss Man seems to signal the beginning of the end, and Mountie gets knocked to the outside again. This time he grabs the SHOCK STICK, and he uses it on Boss Man. Mountie finally crawls back into the ring, covers, and gets the surprising win at 5:50.
After the match, Mountie shocks Boss Man for a long time, and Boss Man does a great seizure sell where he frothes at the mouth. Mountie then grabs the microphone and proclaims that he’s the only law and order. Haha.
My Thoughts: This wasn’t a good match at all, both of them haven’t been. I won’t put myself through another, except the SummerSlam match. Unless there’s another one I have to watch. Basically, I just lied and retracted my comments in the span of 10 seconds. Oh well. DUD.
Sgt. Slaughter (w/General Adnan) vs. Hulk Hogan in a DESERT STORM MATCH for the WWF Championship
Pre-Match Thoughts: The rules here are clear. Submit or surrender. Basically the same shit. Hogan has a metal mask on, combat boots, and fatigues. I think that’s a sign of what to expect here, no wrestling and a full blown brawl. I’m down with that!
Match Review: Hogan powders Sarge immediately, and has his title belt to hit Sarge with as well. Now Hogan has a helmet, and smacks Sarge with it. He uses a riding crop to whip Slaughter, and tosses him over the top and out to the floor. Now Hogan rams Slaughter into the steps, and chokes him with a microphone cord. Back on the inside, Hogan grabs a flag that says support our troops or something like that, and chokes Slaughter with it. Slaughter bleeds all over that flag, and gets slammed face-first into a TV monitor. A microphone shot to the head opens Slaughter up worse, and Hogan puts him back in the ring. Hogan hits Slaughter with a running elbow, bites him, and catapults him into the post. Slaughter refuses to quit just yet, and comes back with some punches, which slow Hogan down. Slaughter has something in his belt, and decides to hit Hogan with the belt. He hits him again to knock him out of the ring and decides to ram Hogan into the rail. This is quite the heated crowd, I should mention. Hogan crawls back into the ring and Slaughter follows, and Slaughter whips Hogan with a belt. After a long choke, Sarge gets a chair, and falls down with it. Hogan gets it, hits Slaughter across the back with it, and that knocks him into the corner. Hogan now gets taken down by a Russian leg sweep, and clobbered with the chair. Sarge puts the CAMEL CLUTCH on Hogan, TIME TO MAKE HIM HUMBLE. Hogan powers out, but Slaughter is able to gain enough control of his faculties to head up top. He then loses control and falls back down to the mat, which gets over how grueling this match has been. Slaughter tries to go up again, and this time Hogan’s able to slam him down. The two then clothesline each other, and Slaughter decides to take his boot off. Hogan has something of his own, and throws a fireball in Slaughter’s face! Hogan now tears off his fatigue tanktop, clotheslines Slaughter, and wallops him with the boot. Hogan puts Slaughter in the CAMEL CLUTCH, and Adnan throws in the towel for Slaughter at 15:34! HE HAS BEEN HUMBLED. Adnan then gets in the ring and Hogan throws him over the top, and does the same to Slaughter.
My Thoughts: This was a great match, with the only critique being that they tried to sell a worse SummerSlam main event in the same market they did this in. This was a definitive finish to the feud and I didn’t need to see more matches between these guys. Slaughter’s performance was excellent, he bumped around so much and bled like crazy to make things work. This was better than the WrestleMania main event, and an easy ***1/2. I don’t think that many people have seen this match, if they had, they’d also be wondering why it wasn’t on PPV. Hogan looked like a real hero by the end of this and had completely turned the tables on his enemy.
– Taped to air June 15th, 1991, on Superstars, from the Convention Center in Tuscon, Arizona
The Nasty Boys (WWF Tag Team Champions) & Earthquake (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers & Tugboat
Pre-Match Thoughts: For what reason would I be watching this, you must be thinking. It’s not exactly an even matchup. Obviously, if I’m watching it in this era and it was on television, something happened.
Match Review: Luke and Knobbs start the match, and Knobbs beats up the Bushwhacker. Luke comes back with a clothesline, and tags in Butch. Sags tags in as well, and Butch hits him with a knee. Butch wants to tag Tugboat, but Tugboat turns his back and does the Bushwhacker walk thing. Knobbs is back in and so is Luke, and Knobbs misses a charge to the corner. Luke tags in Tugboat, who wasn’t happy about being tagged. WHAT’S GOING ON HERE? Earthquake tags in, and Tugboat tags out, bringing in Luke. Quake destroys Luke, and tags Sags back in for a double clothesline from the Nasty Boys that gets 2. Quake tags back in, gives Luke a POWERSLAM, and Butch breaks the cover. All six are in the ring now, and Tugboat clotheslines Butch from behind! Tugboat then splashes Luke, and Earthquake follows that with the BUTT SPLASH for the victory at 4:29. Tugboat celebrates with the heels after the match, and everyone catches on.
My Thoughts: It’s like Tugboat became Typhoon or something. The WWF did need another tag team, but those two would not have been my preferred options. Seems like they could have done something else with Earthquake. Now we have two fat dudes looking to squash people. I’m sad. * for the match.
– June 18th, 1991, from the Convention Center in Fresno, California
British Bulldog vs. Mr. Perfect (w/the Coach) for the WWF Intercontinental Championship
Pre-Match Thoughts: Bobby Heenan had dropped all his clients, to be replaced by a motivating type called the Coach. There was no reason to bring somebody else in, but the WWF still hadn’t dropped their mindset of having heels be managed by somebody. It has always seemed like Bulldog didn’t have many matches with varying opponents during this run of his in the WWF.
Match Review: Perfect stalls a bit, and gets pushed back into the corner, causing him to stall more. Bulldog knocks Perfect to the outside with a shoulderblock, and it takes some time for him to get back in there. When he does, Bulldog picks him up by the arm and drops him. Bulldog follows with a crucifix that gets 2, and Perfect tries a sunset flip, using the tights to pull Bulldog down for 2. They then tumble into the ropes after reversing pinfall attempts, and Perfect hits Bulldog down low. Bulldog smashes Perfect’s head into the turnbuckle a lot, so Perfect hits him with a second low blow. He turns Bulldog over for a Boston crab, holding the ropes in the process. Bulldog powers out, but Perfect is ready to continue the punishment, and knocks Bulldog to the outside with a perfect dropkick. Coach stomps on Bulldog, and here comes BRET HART. He puts a stop to that nonsense, helps Bulldog up, and Bulldog can get back in the ring. Perfect uses a neck snap on Bulldog, and it gets 2. Perfect goes to a sleeper, but Bulldog doesn’t go out as a result of it. He carries Perfect on his back and rams him into the corner, then press slams him onto the top rope, crotching him. That’s a great spot. Bulldog clotheslines Perfect, then accidentally runs over the referee. Bulldog cradles Perfect up and has the win, but there’s no referee. The Coach tries to attack Bulldog, so Bret Hart gets in there and knocks him out, then counts an unofficial fall. Perfect then attacks Bret, and the referee rings the bell as Bret gives Perfect an inverted atomic drop and atomic drop that leads to Perfect getting elbowed over the top. Perfect wins via disqualification at 9:31, though.
My Thoughts: This was strange, it was booked in a way that would seem to set up a Perfect/Bret feud, but never aired on television. They also didn’t mention that Bulldog and Bret were family. As such I can’t quite figure out exactly what the point of this was. This wasn’t a good match or anything, Bulldog exhibited little effort. *1/2.
There was some major news to close out the month as well. Dr. George Zahorian was about to be put on trial for distributing steroids to wrestlers. Zahorian would go on to be convicted. The most obvious problem was that fans found out about it, and the negative PR was just horrendous for the WWF. It did have a major impact on what would go on to happen to the wrestling business over the next few years. Hulk Hogan’s name was mentioned at the start of the trial, and that was immediately big news. Other wrestlers testified that they bought drugs from Zahorian. The whole thing was a mess. Next up, it’s WCW matches from Clash 14 to the Great American Bash. Not a lot of content there, but there’s enough.
Best: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter. Good match, with quite a bit of blood.
Worst: The Natural Disasters forming. I don’t want to see that.
