Andrew Lutzke
Mean Gene and Gorilla Monsoon call the action.
Jose Luis Rivera vs. Les Thornton
This is basically the “205 Live” of 1985. Monsoon reminds us that Thornton is the WWF Junior Heavyweight champ. The ring announcer does not mention this, and Thornton has no title. Thornton controls with headlocks, while peppering in some rough house blows.
Thornton works more headlocks and head scissors as the fans slowly become restless from five-plus minutes of the guys mostly being on the mat. Thornton lets Rivera get a brief flurry before cradling him with a handful for tights for the win at 12:34. Uninspiring stuff.
George “The Animal” Steele vs. Tiger Chung Lee
Steele chases Lee out of the ring. Lee uses his kendo stick to fend off the Animal. Animal dances and waves his arms around to rattle the Korean. Lee runs away again. The crowd eats this clown show up.
The Animal hacks and bites at Lee before they play cat and mouse again. Lee is chased from the ring once more. Lee finally gets a bit of offense in, taking Steele to the floor and slamming him into a table. Steele tosses the table in the ring. As the ref is busy clearing the ring, Steele uses a foreign object on Lee and earns a tainted pin at 4:37. Zero actual wrestling, but the crowd loved every bit of it, so it’s a win.
George Wells vs. Brutus Beefcake
Gene and Gorilla tease that Beefcake is a homosexual. Wells shakes off Beefcake’s poor looking early strikes and rattles him with football tackles. Wells continues to one-up Beefcake until things spill out to the floor. Beefcake manages to drive him into the steel post in a nice looking spot. Beefcake works over Wells shoulder and arm once they return to the ring.
Wells rallies after a bit, showing nice psychology by using only one arm for an Irish whip. Wells attempts a flying head scissors, but Beefcake doesn’t take the bump and the announcers have to cover for the botch.
Wells misses a charge and smashes into a turnbuckle, setting Beefcake up to hit a flying knee for the win at 10:20. Wells feels like a guy who probably should have had better success than he was destined to.
Pedro Morales vs. “The Mysterious” Mr. X
Okerlund shows a lack of product history by not being sure that Morales was a former WWWF champ. Monsoon covers the fact that Morales in fact had all three titles the WWF recognizes, and Gene butts in with “consecutively”, which is flat wrong.
Morales was 42 here. Mr. X is Danny Davis, almost 18 months before he would be given a push as a crooked heel ref turned wrestler. Morales throws X a few times, so X stalls for heat. Monsoon informs us that wrestlers who intentionally walk off from a match do not receive a pay day. That puts Honky Tonk Man’s IC title run in a whole different financial light. More stalling. Morales gets a punch or 2 in, so X walks off again. Bleh.
X gets in the ring, Pedro hits one move and X stalls on the floor again. The crowd is unimpressed by this point. X finally gets some token offense in as they tangle in the ring. Pedro shakes that off and locks him in a Boston crab for the easy win at 7:49. Garbage.
“Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
Well, this should bring things back up after that last trash heap of a match. These two brawl before the ring announcer can even introduce them. The fight quickly spills to the floor where the men trade blows and involve the table. An old man in a wacky hat is working at the ring announcer table. He gets smacked with something in the face and is visibly hurt.
Mr. Wonderful and Piper trade control in a rapid fashion as the intensity level escalates. Piper gets his tights yanked down and fights the next several minutes with his butt digitally blurred. Piper scores a sleeper, but Orndorff is able to fight his way out of it.
Orndorff gets a bit of a shine, scoring a nearfall off a back slide to tease a near fall. The back and forth continues as they take a nice bump together to the floor and brawl over a piece of metal that was used for railing or something. The ref counts both men out at 7:51. Orndorff gets in the ring, but Piper jumps him. Hot Rod then smacks the ref for good measure. The men resume the fight down the ramp, with Orndorff winning the day by attacking Piper with a chair.
Quite a predictable finish to a fun little sprint. I am not sure if putting on several stinkers before giving the stars a chance to shine balances things out.
Sal Bellomo vs. Randy “Macho Man” Savage
Danny Davis is out as the ref and the announcers mock his puffy, less than coiffed hair, as he obviously had a bit of a side effect from wearing the mask earlier.
Bellomo remains one of the silliest looking schlubs on the roster with his spindly arms, soft belly and terrible singlet. Savage stalls a bit for some cheap heat. They work some basic stuff before Savage argues with the fans again. Savage works a few moves, then fights with the fans again. The crowd is more annoyed with Savage, rather then giving Macho Man any real heat for his stalling.
Savage gets a little more serious as he assaults Bellomo on the floor. The fans stand in unison to watch Savage leap from the top rope and down to the floor with a double ax handle on Bellomo. A big elbow finishes it back in the ring at 9:17. This felt disjointed, with Savage’s stalling taking the flow from the match.
Rick McGraw vs. Terry Funk
Funk is 41 here, and after teasing runs in JCP and Pro Wrestling USA, finds himself chasing the big money in the WWF. Funk growls at the fans and gets some decent heat. He gives McGraw some early shine as he stooges after taking several slams. Gene mentions Dory Funk Jr., which may not have been kosher since Dory was coming in as a “surprise” not too long after this.
Funk misses a charge and takes a shoulder breaker. Funk and McGraw tumble to the floor as Funk continues to give McGraw a chance to one up him. Funk finally goes low to turn the tables. McGraw is chucked to the floor. Funk goes in the audience as a light “JYD” chant starts. Funk then challenges several fans to fight as McGraw tries to crawl in the ring. The “JYD” chant become more prominent.
Funk knocks his opponent back down before eventually suplexing McGraw back in the ring. Funk stooges again as McGraw scores with an atomic drop. Funk takes a goofy bump as he leaps to the mat on his butt, then flops out of the ring. They fight on the floor before both men crawl to the mat in the ring.
McGraw uses an airplane spin, and scores several near falls. Funk snags McGraw in a sleeper and earns the surprise win via loss of consciousness at 13:40. Funk “brands” McGraw after the match, then dilly dallies around too long, leading to McGraw grabbing the branding iron and chasing Funk from the ring. Funk was determined to put on a show here, and delivered a fun encounter.
Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat and JYD vs. “Magnificent” Don Muraco and Mr. Fuji
The crowd of course goes bonkers for the babyfaces, but the “WWE 24/7” version of this card replaced “Another One Bites the Dust”, thus eliminating the legit crowd heat.
The faces storm the ring, with Steamboat choking Fuji to near unconsciousness with a strap to avenge his own recent hanging by the villainous pair. JYD deals out head butts to both heels. The faces dominate as things remain a four-way brawl in the opening minutes.
JYD and Muraco bonk heads as Steamboat drives them together in a unique twist on the double noggin knocker spot. The fun finally stops when Muraco catches the Dragon low. Fuji delivers another shot to the nuts for good measure.
The heels team up to choke Steamboat in their corner. Fuji then uses his karate to assault the Dragon. Muraco tags in to get his licks in as well. A nerve hold grinds things to a halt for a bit. Steamboat fights his way out and makes the hot tag.
JYD bites and headbutts Muraco. The men collide to end the Dog’s attack. A battered Steamboat tags back in. Muraco is knocked into Fuji, who tags in. Steamboat quickly downs Fuji, then hits the flying crossbody for the win at 12:02. The heels attack Steamboat after the bell, blinding him with salt to make sure the feud can continue.
This was a solid blood feud-type match, but Steamboat could not raise the game of everyone to make this spectacular or anything.
Final thoughts: A mostly fun event, with some legit feuds getting exposure as well as new talent being given a opportunity to get over in front of an new audience.
