Sage Cortez
There was very little buzz heading into Halloween Havoc, in large part because of the title program not being very exciting, but the overall feeling of the company being a poor one. I have no idea how WCW could have put on a good PPV with their current roster and the lineup for this show. I’m going to watch it anyway, because it’s not like I’ve seen anything from it before. Also, doesn’t everyone want to see them SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL at least once in their life?
– October 25th, 1992, from the Civic Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
This opening video is the right kind of horrible. At least there was something goofy remaining as part of the company. Tony Schiavone was hosting with Bruno Sammartino, and Jim Ross was on commentary with Jesse Ventura. These choices for the SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL match are hilarious. Not hilariously, it was announced that Terry Gordy was not in Philadelphia for his title rematch. That’s ridiculous. Also, Rick Rude was placed in two matches by Paul E. Dangerously. Missy Hyatt has a Halloween costume on, and she wants to talk to Rick Rude. Okay. Jesse Ventura is extremely hyped, and I think Jim Ross isn’t too happy about that. Don’t know if he had a problem or something.
Arn Anderson, Bobby Eaton, and Michael Hayes vs. Johnny Gunn, Shane Douglas, and Tom Zenk
Pre-Match Thoughts: WCW had literally no concept of the wrestling market or what kind of teams make for a good babyface side. In part it’s because of their taping locations constantly being the same and those fans reacting the way they wanted them to. This is something that didn’t change no matter what they did. Did they really expect the latter three to be cheered? Instead, the heels were cheered very loudly. It’s surreal seeing a Horseman and Midnight Express guy enter to Badstreet USA. The supposed babyfaces got no reaction at all. Johnny Gunn wrestled in the WWF as Salvatore Sincere at a later date. The boos were LOUD. I’ve read that Zenk’s contract was only renewed because of a clerical error, otherwise he wouldn’t have been there.
Match Review: Arn will start things off with Gunn, and Arn teases him by pinching his cheeks. Then he attacks the guy, only for him to come back with a dropkick. Arn heads up top, but Zenk runs in and dropkicks him out to the floor. The babyfaces clear the ring with three dropkicks, and get booed resoundly. Arn gets back in there, and Zenk tags in for an elbow. Arn gets out of there, and Eaton smacks this dork around. Eaton blocks a hip toss, but Zenk backdrops him. Zenk follows with a dropkick, so Michael Hayes tags in. Zenk hip tosses Hayes, who says to the ref that his tights were pulled. The crowd agrees! Douglas tags in, and he arm drags Hayes. Have I ever told you guys about how much I hate Shane Douglas? Eaton gets in there and Douglas arm drags him too, but Eaton knocks him around with some punches. Douglas comes back with a backdrop, and takes Eaton down with a flying head-scissors. After a dragon screw, Zenk tags in for a double wishbone. Zenk locks Eaton’s leg up, but Eaton’s able to tag out of there. Arn comes in and Zenk puts a sleeper on him, but Arn gets out with a back suplex. Hayes tags in, drops an elbow, and drops a fist too. He puts a chinlock on Zenk, who gets out only for Hayes to drop him with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Eaton tags in, but makes a blind tag during an atomic drop. Arn catches Zenk with a sneaky clothesline, and plays to the crowd. I LOVE IT. Arn covers for 2, then tags in Hayes for some double teaming. Hayes puts a chinlock on Zenk, then goes for a suplex, only for Zenk to reverse to his own. Arn tags in, but Douglas does too. Douglas tries to suplex Arn, but Eaton clips out Shane’s leg. Arn goes to work on that left leg, then Eaton flies off the top with a knee drop onto the leg. Just can’t knee drop the head anymore. Eaton locks Douglas in a FIGURE-FOUR, then tags in Arn before the hold can be reversed. Shane gets in an atomic drop, then Arn collides with him. Douglas tags in Gunn, who gets the loudest boos of them all. He backdrops Hayes, slams Eaton, and slams Hayes too. Everyone’s in the ring now, and Zenk backdrops Arn over the top. Gunn drops Hayes with a THESZ PRESS, and sadly, picks up the pinfall at 11:03.
My Thoughts: I can’t believe they put the young guys over right here, in addition to the absolute stupidity in booking this match to begin with. The crowd hated those babyfaces, and it’s really hilarious that Shane Douglas became a Philadelphia hero after these crowd reactions. People did not want to see the beefcake type babyfaces anymore, that’s plain and easy to see. **1/2, the match was totally fine.
Missy Hyatt is at Rick Rude’s locker room again, right as Harley Race intends to walk in there. That’s interesting. He won’t let Missy in the locker room, though.
Brian Pillman vs. Ricky Steamboat
Pre-Match Thoughts: Now this is something I’d consider to be properly booked. Who wouldn’t be interested in seeing this one? It’s bordering on being a perfect match. I’m interested in seeing the crowd reactions. I’m glad they didn’t take a lot of time going to this match. If this isn’t great, I’ll be shocked.
Match Review: These two lock up, and Pillman starts cracking Steamboat with chops. Steamboat returns the favor, and shoulderblocks Pillman for 2. Pillman tries to throw him over the top, but Stemaboat skins the cat back in and cradles him up for 2. Pillman comes back with a bodyslam, then Steamboat plays possum and arm drags him. That’s a nice spot. Steamboat holds the armbar for a bit, then hip tosses Steamboat and arm drags him back down. Pillman tries to get out, but Steamboat has a pretty good lock on the arm. Steamboat backdrops Pillman, then slams him as well. Pillman comes back by smashing Steamboat’s head into the mat, then chokes him with the ropes. STeamboat picks Pillman up with a choke lift, then throws him on his head and rams Pillman’s head into the mat himself. Pillman now plays a bit of possum himself, and nails Steamboat with a forearm. Pillman rubs Steamboat’s head into the mat, and follows with a flying head-scissors for 2. Steamboat comes back with a backslide for 2, but Pillman drives his face into the mat. Pillman then puts Steamboat on the ropes, smacks him, and follows that up with a superplex attempt that Steamboat blocks. Steamboat jumps off the second rope, but Pillman dropkicks him for 2. Steamboat comes back with a back suplex as Pillman argues with the official, but Pillman goes to a sleeper. Steamboat breaks it by ramming Pillman into the buckle, but Pillman clotheslines him with the top rope. Pillman tries to go up top, but Steamboat walks over and slams him down. Pillman rolls out to the floor, but Steamboat brings him back in as we near the end. Pillman knees Steamboat on the Dragon’s way in, then they trade chops for a while. Pillman goes to the floor again, and Steamboat brings him back in again, this time tripping Pillman when he tries the knee. Steamboat eats a knee on a charge to the corner, then a Pillman cross body gets 2. Pillman goes for a slam, but Steamboat reverses to a backbreaker. Steamboat goes up top, comes down with a sunset flip, and gets 2. Pillman reverses to his own cover, Steamboat reverses to another, and picks up the win at 10:34.
My Thoughts: This was a good match, but not quite as good as I’d been led to believe. Pillman was really young in his career as a heel, and hadn’t quite perfected what he wanted to do. There were things in his offense that he needed to eliminate, stuff like that. Perhaps a year after this, the match could have been a lot better than it was. ***, they both worked really hard and did a lot of good stuff.
For some reason, we have Teddy Long in Masa Chono’s locker room. Hiro Matsuda and Kensuke Sasaki were with him. Apparently Rick Rude was allowed to select an official for his title challenge tonight. Chono was allowed to do so as well. Apparently Sasaki was Chono’s choice.
There is also a ruling on Rude’s title defense. They had advertised that Rude would have two matches on this show. Before that, Bill Watts announced that Terry Gordy had quit WCW. He quit that day, so that’s no bait and switch. He announced that Steve Williams would be teaming with Steve Williams. I mean Steve Austin. Next up, Watts announces that Rick Rude got out of his United States Championship defense. Apparently Big Van Vader was going to defend Rude’s belt against Nikita Koloff instead. What the fuck.
Nikita Koloff vs. Big Van Vader in a NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH for Rick Rude’s WCW United States Championship
Pre-Match Thoughts: This is why WCW was stuck with having such bad business. They couldn’t resist having bait and switch things like this take place. They were built on it. If I was a paying fan, it would be impossible for me to tolerate this and the paying would have stopped long ago. They built up Rude feuding with Nikita so much, and Rude’s deal with Paul E. Dangerously so much that doing something like this is intolerable. Rick Rude and Harley Race were banned from ringside, not that it even mattered. There’s truthfully nothing wrong with Vader/Koloff as a match, but this isn’t the match that was sold.
Match Review: They do some shoving spots to start this one, then trade bombs, leading to Vader working Nikita over. Vader splashes Nikita in the corner, then wrecks him with a clothesline. Vader throws Nikita to the outside, but Nikita comes back in and nails Vader with a forearm to knock him down. A cover gets 2 for Nikita, then he tries a chinlock. Vader gets out and tries another splash, but Nikita dodges it and rolls him up for 2. Nikita uses a cross body for 2, so Vader rolls to the outside. Nikita follows, but Vader throws him into the rail. No disqualification, after all. Vader follows that up by dropping Nikita on the rail, and hits him with a chair. Nikita tries to sunset flip his way back into the ring when he has a chance, and Vader sits on him. Vader clotheslines Nikita again, then CHOKESLAMS him. Up to the second rope, and down Vader comes with a BIG SPLASH for 2. Vader goes to the chinlock now, which Nikita tries to get out of with a back suplex only for Vader to not comply with it. Nikita takes Vader over with a snap suplex/DDT, as Vader’s full blown sandbagging him at this point. Nikita knocks Vader into the corner for some punches, then he knocks Vader down with a flying shoulderblock for 2. Nikita slams Vader, drops an elbow on him, and covers for 2. Nikita clotheslines Vader over the top and into the rail, with Vader going HEAD-FIRST into it. I think Vader hurt himself. They go out to the floor, and Nikita hits the post with the SICKLE. Vader crawls back into the ring, waits for Nikita, and hits him with a double axehandle. After a standing splash, Vader drops an elbow on Nikita and says it’s over. POWERBOMB, and it IS over after 11:54.
My Thoughts: This was good fun, even though Vader was being quite a jerk when it came time for Nikita to dish out offense. Still liked the match. Nikita did a few more jobs to Vader on television and didn’t come back. **1/2 for the match, but I really disliked the bait and switch. Left me feeling a little bit ripped off, because I never got to see that Rude/Koloff match they had promised. Nikita at his best was merely a decent worker, but he had one of the best gimmicks imaginable for the time. In his returns to WCW, he felt like an unnecessary part, one that was still quite over but didn’t have any defined role to get the best out of his talents. Obviously, Nikita going off steroids and not looking gigantic was part of that. Still, somebody who had a big impact on the business.
Steve Williams and Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes and Barry Windham for the WCW/NWA Tag Team Championships
Pre-Match Thoughts: I’m not going to harp on the double title issue anymore, but I really don’t get it. This is a great matchup even though Gordy had left the company. Steve and Steve were good hands, they’d figure it out. They had a promo before the match, and Doc made it sound like he didn’t give a shit about losing his partner. This wasn’t a good promo, but it’s one of the best I’ve seen Doc give. Missy Hyatt interviewed the champions, with Windham looking a bit haggard. I know that Watts wanted these tag matches to be long, so I’m expecting something very long.
Match Review: Doc and Dustin start things off, and Dustin goes to a headlock. They do some collision spots, with nobody going anywhere. They get in three point stances, and crash into each other, I liked that. They do it again, and this time Doc jumps over Dustin to hit him with a clothesline. He clips Dustin’s knees, then gets cracked with a clothesline. Dustin puts a wristlock on him, then tags in Windham. Windham dropkicks Doc, then arm drags him down. Dustin tags in, slaps a hammerlock on Dr. Death, and gets elbowed in the face. They exchange wristlocks, with Dustin breaking one by leaping over the top rope. Dustin dropkicks Doc, and finally Austin makes a tag in. Windham tags in too, gets poked in the eye, and Austin follows up with a turnbuckle shot. Austin dropkicks Windham, then covers for 1. Windham comes back with his own dropkick, then Austin pinballs back and forth between the babyfaces, eventually getting knocked out of the ring. Windham still has a taped fist after one year! Dustin tags in there, and takes Austin down with a headlock. Austin gets out of that and clocks Rhodes, then trips him and works on the left leg. Dustin blocks a charge to the corner with an elbow and covers for 2, then Austin blocks a charge as well. Austin goes for a monkey flip, but Dustin pushes him off for a clothesline that gets 2. Windham tags in, nails Austin with another clothesline, and that also gets 2. Windham suplexes Austin for 2, so Austin gets out of there. Windham takes Doc down with a drop toe-hold, but he gets right back up and drives the shoulder into Windham. Windham comes back with punches, then misses a clothesline and rolls out of the ring. Doc hits Windham with a baseball slide, then goes to suplex him back in, only for Windham to cradle him up for 2. Austin tags in, slams Windham, and leaps off the second rope with an elbow smash that gets 2. Austin suplexes Windham for 2, and Doc comes in with a big forearm. Windham tries a sleeper, but Doc rams him into the buckle to stop that crap. A Doc cross body gets 2, then Doc tries to shoot the half, only to be unable to do so. Austin gets in there for a hammerlock, which turns into a hammerlock slam. Doc tags in, cuts Windham off from tagging, and nails Dustin with a forearm. Doc powerslams Windham for 2, then puts a chinlock on him. Windham uses a jawbreaker to stop that, but Austin cuts him off from a tag. He puts Windham on the top rope, and Windham has to stop him from doing anything. Windham flies off the top with a great clothesline, which gets a 2 count. Now Austin and Windham collide, and there’s the tag!
Dustin comes in with very awesome offense, consisting of Dusty style punches and elbows on both guys at the same time. Hell yeah. Dustin nails Austin with another clothesline, then takes him down with the BULLDOG. Doc breaks the cover, and winds up knocking Dustin down with a lariat. Doc makes a legal tag in, and starts hitting Dustin in the kidneys. Dustin tries to come back, but gets smashed into the corner and splashed on the other side. Doc drags Dustin to the middle and sits on him with a Boston crab, then tags out of there. An Austin knee drop gets 2, then he picks Dustin up with a BACKBREAKER SUBMISSION. Dustin flips out of that, then backdrops Austin. Austin has to bridge to a backslide, but instead Dustin gets the backslide and the 2 count. Austin gets up with the hundreth clothesline in the match, getting 2. Doc switches in, and the guys trade punches until Doc trips Dustin and tags out. Dustin hits Austin with more of that Dusty stuff, but gets nailed with a right hand for 2. Doc tags in for a snap suplex, and floats over for 2. That’s crisp. Doc opens up a cut on Dustin’s eyebrow, tags out again, and Austin puts a chinlock on Dustin. Dustin fights out of it, but Austin powerslams him. Austin misses an elbow drop, but a Dustin small package gets a 2 count. Doc tags in, stomps on the eye, and traps the arms for a belly to belly suplex. Another one follows that, and it gets 2. Doc goes to the chinlock, and when Dustin gets out this time, Doc knees him in the gut. Austin tags in, and lands a double axehandle from the second rope. Time for a half crab, which Dustin tries to get out of with elbows to the quad. Dustin nearly makes it to the corner, but Austin trips him. Dustin kicks him in the face a few times, and makes the tag, but it wasn’t spotted by the referee.
Doc and Austin pound on Dustin, then throw his ass over the top while they have the chance. Windham slams Austin and knocks down the referee at the same time, then he cradles Austin up, only for Doc to clothesline him. We have another referee in the ring and counting 3 for Austin, but Windham isn’t the legal man! Nobody in the crowd bought that being the finish. Dustin attacks Doc and Austin, then cradles Austin up for the closest of two counts. The timekeeper thought it was over. All four guys start brawling, and Dustin covers Austin for 2 again. Dustin hits Austin with a clothesline for 2, then drops an elbow on him for another 2 count. Austin pulls Dustin into the buckle, then picks him up for a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, only for Dustin to reverse it. Dustin covers and gets 2, and the time limit is going to run out at 30:28.
My Thoughts: This was a great match with an absolutely terrible closing stretch. I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Dustin and Windham were the champions and they were getting in all the offense during the last finish. The false tag and everything that happened after it was an overbooked trainwreck. It’s hard to believe that somebody as experienced as Watts booked and laid that thing out this way. Maybe he didn’t lay it out, but damn. This is a little bit hard to accept. I loved the start of the match, with the football portion and the pace of it. Anyway, the booking nearly killed the whole thing, and certainly knocked points off my rating. ***1/2. I can’t even think of a reason that they would book a draw. Austin was the perfect guy to take a fall in this match. They made the champions look equal to the challengers for no reason at all. The match also had no heat, because people didn’t care for this style.
Why is Paul E. with Harley Race and Vader now? Apparently it was Paul’s idea to get Vader involved in this match, because he’s the mastermind. Madusa walks out there, and she’s not having that crap. They’re fighting over who manages Rick Rude, after all. Paul keeps berating her, and he’s a MAN. A SUPERIOR MAN. MADUSA IS A WOMAN. PAUL CALLED HER A HOOKER. He fired her too. Madusa gets tired of that shit, and BOOTS PAUL IN THE HEAD. Now she puts the boots on him, and some officials and referees have to come out to break them up. The crowd reacted to this more than anything else so far. Amazing segment, and given Paul’s choice in words here, it was pretty clear he knew how to get to the Philadelphia crowd. Madusa was a big babyface as a result of this.
IT’S TIME TO SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL. For some reason, Sting is allowed to spin the wheel. I guess because Jake Roberts is supposed to be manipulating him or some shit. The choices are genuinely fantastic bar a few. I must point out that Bill Watts had booked this gimmick before in one of the best matches to take place in this country. So, you know, yeah. It has been said that the wheel wasn’t rigged, but I’ve read different and I believe differently. I don’t know why anyone finds it so outlandish that they would book this match. WCW didn’t want to book any bloodbaths at this time and some of those choices would have made a bloodbath mandatory. Jim Ross doesn’t really seem to give much of a shit. Also, if you see that the wheel hits the brakes right on Coal Miner’s Glove, yeah. The wheel was rigged.
Masahiro Chono vs. Rick Rude (w/Madusa) with Harley Race as SPECIAL REFEREE for the NWA Championship
Pre-Match Thoughts: This match has an awful reputation, and I didn’t have the heart to watch it before bed. Thus, I waited an extra day to watch this match after writing all this stuff down. Just being honest. Gary Michael Cappetta introduces some Japanese dignitaries, it’s not really important for me to know their names. However, Ventura and Ross say some shit about not being able to pronounce their names anyway. Haha. Great commentary. The stipulations for this match are nothing short of disastrous. I’ll try to explain. There were two referees chosen. Ole Anderson would flip a coin and pare it down to one. Obviously, this being America, there was no way Kensuke Sasaki would be the referee. Instead, it’s Harley Race. Harley looks funny wearing this shirt. It’s like Gene Kiniski all over again. Sasaki took a place outside the ring. Madusa being with Rick Rude in this spot makes no sense now. He’s a heel and she’s not. He should have been the babyface for this match, this being America and all, but instead he did his routine.
Match Review: Lots of “we want Flair” chants before this starts. Not a good look. A clean break takes place after they lock up, and that happens again. Rude looks funny with no facial hair. Rude hits Chono with some shots to the throat, but Chono hip tosses him. This is slow to an unreal degree, which brings the Flair chants back. Chono drops Rude with a back suplex, folding him up nearly completely. Chono takes Rude down with a drop toe-hold, and grabs the arm for a little bit. Rude gets out, elbows Chono, and slams him. Some elbow smashes get a 2 count for Rude, and he goes to a chinlock. Chono reverses to a hammerlock, as this has hit the stage of being thoroughly boring. Chono kicks Rude for a while, and Rude bails out to the floor as a fan at ringside starts yawning. Chono suplexes Rude back into the ring, then whips him from corner to corner to work the back. Chono applies a Boston crab, and Rude makes the ropes. Chono pulls him away, and puts a chinlock on him. Rude gets out of there, uses a jawbreaker on Chono, and goes back to the throat. Chono tries a sunset flip, but Rude blocks that. Rude poses for a bit, then drops Chono with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Rude goes to his own chinlock, but breaks it, only for Chono to drop him and go for the STF. Chono is unable to apply the whole thing, so he wrenches the leg. This is so bad on levels I cannot quite describe yet. 15 minutes have passed with NOTHING happening. The guys get up, trade shots, and Rude headbutts Chono to knock him down. Rude PILEDRIVES Chono, but only gets 2 on the cover. Rude then heads up top, but comes down with a big nothing on a blown spot. Rude goes back to the chinlock, which Chono breaks, leading to a sleeper by Rude. Ventura is trying so hard to sell this match. There’s a fight in the crowd, which is getting a way bigger reaction than anything in the match. The sleeper lasts forever, until Rude heads up top. He comes down with a dropkick and misses, but Chono sells it like he was hit. Chono then boots Harley Race on accident, knocking him to the outside. Chono then throws Rude over the top, which knocks down Sasaki and Race at the same time. Chono goes for a suplex, but Rude counters and drops him with the RUDE AWAKENING. There’s no referee, so there’s no count. Rude goes up top, misses an illegal knee drop, and Chono trips him for the STF. Sasaki gets in the ring to play referee and calls for the bell, right as Race disqualifies Chono at 22:34. I’m struggling to understand why it matters.
Hiro Matsuda comes down to the ring to talk to Sasaki, then Sasaki and Race get into a fight. Sasaki slams Race, clotheslines Rude over the top, and drops Race with some suplexes. That was way better than the match.
My Thoughts: This was one of the worst matches ever on any tangible level. The stipulation was idiotic. Not only that, but Race officiated the match right down the middle, which made his selection as a heel referee have absolutely no impact. In addition, the match was worked in the slowest, possibly worst style imaginable. They were working holds, but these weren’t even good holds. They were chinlocks, hammerlocks, Boston crabs, and sleepers. I mean, these moves didn’t matter at all. Then, they got to the finish and fucked everything up on the way there. I don’t understand how this match could have happened when they had one earlier in the year that was better. I have no idea who came up with the finish, either. The idea that they would have one referee saying Chono won by submission, and the other say Rude won by DQ…WHO GIVES A FUCK? Rude wouldn’t be able to win the championship that way, so there’s no controversy whatsoever. Unbelievable, -**** is my rating. I’m not going to say don’t watch it, but it’s not like every other negative star match I can think of. There’s not much to see here other than supremely boring wrestling and guys inexplicably not being over at all. Jesse tried really hard to get it over, so it’s clear to see he wasn’t phoning it in for a paycheck.
The Barbarian (w/Cactus Jack) vs. Ron Simmons for the WCW Championship
Pre-Match Thoughts: I dig the training video where Cactus Jack would break cinder blocks on Barbarian’s back with a sledgehammer. I can’t understand why anyone would book this. To make Ron Simmons the champion, saddle him with this kind of challenger, and pretend like it mattered is just sad. Foley was hurt, hence his managerial role. This wasn’t even the bottom for Simmons or anywhere near close to it. Why didn’t Watts use one of the best guys in the company to put Simmons over? Could have done a babyface match with Ricky Steamboat. Why the hell was Simmons walking to the ring with Teddy Long? LONG FUCKING TURNED ON HIM A YEAR BEFORE!
Match Review: These two finally lock up, with nothing coming of it. Why, of course! Barbarian runs Simmons over with a shoulderblock, then they collide with each other a few times. Barbarian gets advice from Cactus, then they try to clothesline each other only for nothing to happen. Simmons puts Barbarian down with a flying shoulder and dropkick, then forearms him to the outside. Barbarian gets back in there, hits Simmons with some forearms, and gets knocked around a bit himself. Barbarian clotheslines Simmons with the top rope, then drops an elbow on him. Barbarian throws Simmons out to the floor, and posts him as the referee is distracted. That’s supposed to be a disqualification in WCW. Barbarian clotheslines Simmons against the post, then rams him into the rail. That’s supposed to be a DQ, but no call is made. Simmons sunset flips Barbarian for 2, but Barbarian comes back with a cobra clutch. This match sucks too. Simmons breaks it in the corner, but Barbarian hits him in the throat. Barbarian slams Simmons, then decides to head up top. He comes down with a FLYING ELBOW, but misses it. Simmons and Barbarian trade some shitty punches, then Simmons drops Barbarian with a shitty spinebuster for 2. Simmons clotheslines Barbarian a few times, then bodyslams him. Cactus gets on the apron, and Simmons hits Barbarian with another flying shoulderblock. He knocks Cactus off the apron, but Barbarian boots him in the head and sends him to the outside. Cactus puts Simmons back in the ring, and Barbarian comes off the top with a FLYING HEADBUTT for 2. Barbarian sets Simmons up for a clothesline that gets 2, then comes off the ropes again, only for Simmons to powerslam him and retain his title at 12:43.
My Thoughts: I’m not going to say that this was worse than the last match, but it was pretty bad regardless. For WCW to air these last three heatless matches in a row must have been a cure for insomnia to the crowd. I’ve seen people yawning in the front rows the whole time. It was quite clear that Simmons didn’t have the wrestling ability to be a world champion. Granted, not every world champion was a good wrestler, but the ones that weren’t either had great crowd backing or a lot of heat. Simmons had neither. I can’t even say that WCW tried to give him a real push and make him a real champion, because they didn’t by any objective standard. 1/2*. The style mixed with the length of the matchup made this incredibly boring, it wasn’t 1985 anymore.
For some reason, they decide to bring out Erik Watts. I don’t even know what to say about how incredibly tone deaf and stupid this is. Of course, Watts gets booed. Promoters and their kids, man. There’s not a lot of good ones, even less that had great careers. Ron Simmons crashes the interview, and puts himself and Bruno over, as he should.
Jake Roberts vs. Sting in a LIGHTS OUT COAL MINER’S GLOVE MATCH
Pre-Match Thoughts: The coal miner’s glove was placed on a pole, which makes it even more probable to me that this was the intended match all along. Is there anything more corny in wrestling than pole matches? Anything more old school? Could the show really get any worse anyway? I don’t know why I’m asking all these questions, because anyone who knows wrestling knows the answer to them. The unsanctioned thing, I don’t know what to say about that either. Also, Jake looked like shit. Can’t deny that. THERE IS ANTI-VENOM AT RINGSIDE, BROTHER. Sting was so much less over than before, it’s really noticeable.
Match Review: Roberts goes straight for the pole, but Sting grabs him and pulls him down for a bodyslam. Sting slams Roberts again, then goes for the pole himself. Roberts stops that, and here’s the folly of an unsanctioned match…THERE IS A REFEREE IN THE RING. Sting knocks Roberts down with a big right, then misses a dropkick. Roberts works on Sting’s back with some knees to it, then tosses him over the top. Roberts follows, tries to post Sting, and Sting rams him into the post instead. Sting grabs the arm and posts Roberts again, and decides to go for the glove. He climbs the pole, but Roberts grabs his tights and drops Sting with a back suplex. Sting comes back with a hammerlock, but Roberts hip tosses him to the apron. Roberts goes up the pole, but Sting grabs him down and crotches him on the top. Good spot. Ventura made an interesting point about how it was possible for the match to be won without anyone getting the glove. If only that happened. They go to the outside, and there’s a chair shot from Roberts to Sting. About time. They roll back in, and Roberts stands on Sting’s head. Roberts chokes Sting with some tape, then goes for a knee lift and wipes out. Wow, Roberts had no athleticism to jump into that bump at all anymore. Sting misses a STINGER SPLASH, so Roberts hits him with a short clothesline. Roberts signals for the DDT, and plants Sting with it! Roberts goes over to the pole, but Sting gets over there to stop him. Roberts elbows Sting, but Sting flies around the pole and pops Roberts with one. Now Cactus Jack runs out from the bag with a bag in hand, and Jake has a SNAKE HANDLER’S GLOVE. THERE’S A COBRA! Sting has the glove, and he hits Roberts in the kidney with it. Jake makes the snake bite him in the face in the absolute corniest way, and Sting covers him for the victory at 10:35. Oh boy. For the first time, I’ve just heard Jim Ross bust out a BAH GAWD. Show’s over after that one.
My Thoughts: The tone of the match was all wrong, it was worked like a wrestling match when it should have been a brawl with both guys desperately going for the glove and breaking the rules. I really can’t believe what I saw in terms of the finish. That was so unbelievably stupid. It’s fitting in the context of the show that it ends with their new, very famous heel, crawling to the back with a cobra in hand after being bitten. I mean, for wanting to introduce a more realistic style, Watts went on to book that. I don’t thnk the match was outright terrible, but it’s difficult to discuss something like that. * for the match, I don’t know what to say about the rest. How could anyone have booked this? Bruno didn’t even know what to say about the match, which says it all.
Well, that show started out fine, but it deteriorated rapidly into the worst three match series I can imagine. There was so much wrong with this, I don’t even know where to start. The talent level in WCW was rapidly decreasing and the way the shows were booked were awful. The style of the wrestling was way past the times. This show didn’t quite kill Philadelphia as a town, but it really should have. I can’t fathom why anyone would go back to a WCW event with what they had seen in those last three matches. Not to harp on it again, but I’m fairly sure the Coal Miner’s Glove match was totally intentional, which says it all. Business was bad everywhere in the United States for both companies and it was only getting worse. It did get a whole lot worse. Next up, it’s over to the WWF for SNME #31, their last for a long time.
Wrestling Time: 1:50:11. The show was extremely wrestling based, so the high number isn’t exactly a surprise.
Best: Austin/Williams vs. Rhodes/Windham. It says a lot that the worst booked thing was the best thing on the show.
Worst: Chono vs. Rude. One of the worst matches I’ve seen, for sure.
Card Rating: 4/10. I can’t recommend this to anyone, even though the first half of the show was fine. The second half was awful.
