Connor McGrath
Since the beginning of the ’00s, I’ve looked forward much more to the release of the members of KISS’ autobiographies than I have to the release of their new music. And it wasn’t even close. I doubt I’m alone in the KISS Army in having that sentiment. In fact, I’m probably in the majority. There comes a time in a band’s career when what you said or did in the past becomes much more interesting than what you’re doing in the present. Yeah, sure, when The Rolling Stones released A Bigger Bang, people might have listened to it once or twice and talked about it a little bit but not as much as they talked about Mick & Keef and The Gang’s wacky shenanigans back in the day.
The same definitely holds true for KISS. Some older artists like Bob Dylan and Neil Young are able to reinvent themselves time and time again. KISS, however, has put out the same basic, meat and potatoes rock n’ roll with few variations (save Music From “The Elder” and Carnival of Souls) for the past forty years. As much as I love this band, there’s nothing that they can do musically, at this point in their careers, that is going to stagger me. At least, not in a good way (*cough*PeterCrisslastsoloaalbum*cough*).
I am interested in hearing in how the band came together and fell apart (then came together again and fell apart again. Get on the raft, get knocked off the raft). Reading all of the members’ biographies, you get to see the story of KISS is really like the ’70s New York, hard rock version of Rashomon. Everybody has vastly differing accounts of the same story.
It should come to the surprise of absolutely no one, that the most outspoken and most visible member of KISS, Gene Simmons, released his biography first in 2001. KISS and Make Up is undoubtedly the worst of the four original members of KISS’ autobiographies. Which is really too bad because Gene arguably has the most interesting life story of all of the members. The son of a Holocaust survivor who came to America at the age of 8 with nothing and became one of the most visible rock stars in the world. The problem is Gene doesn’t have an ounce of humility. He’s been playing his public personae for so long that I don’t think it’s possible for him to turn it off. Yeah, Gene’s book featured all of the sleaze of the others (he told a story about him having sex with an elderly limo driver before any of the other member could make fun of him for it in their books, which they did) but there’s no sense of joy. It’s impossible to relate to Gene. He’s a cartoon character.
Gene followed it up with a self help book, Sex, Money, and KISS, in 2003 which I still haven’t read in its entirety and probably never will. There was an eight year lull before the next KISS autobiography was released. The worst KISS autobiographies were followed up by the most disappointing. Ace Frehley is another guy with a fascinating life story that just did not translate onto the page. Ace Frehley’s No Regrets, released in November 2011, is a case of the ghostwriter for a celebrity autobiography failing to capture the celebrity’s voice. Not much worse than an autobiography that doesn’t sound like the author at all. What was also odd about the book is that it seemed like it was pulling a few punches as if Ace was angling to get back into KISS (or at least get the rights to his makeup and costume back). It just felt half as good as it should have been.
No one would accuse Peter Criss’ Make Up To Break Up of pulling any punches. I don’t think anybody outside of the Criss Family had any sort of expectations for The Catman’s book when it was released in October 2012. I was hardly considering reading it until the reviews rolled in. This is the explosive, sleazy, trashy autobiography that the KISS Army had been waiting for. Catman unleashed the claws and savagely scratches everyone. Ex-wives, ex-bandmates, no one is spared. He’s brutal to Gene, downright vicious to Paul, and surprisingly angry at his “ally” in the band, Ace Frehley. It’s an X-Rated book where The Catman is either the hero or the scapegoat of every story in the book. Not to mention that Peter Criss was the true heart & soul of the band. Make Up to Break Up is a tremendously entertaining book. I laughed, I facepalmed, I was even genuinely moved at times. I guess I underestimated The Catman.
Nothin’ to Lose: The Making of KISS, 1972 to 1975, came out in late 2013 and was an oral history (in the vein of Live From New York) where people throughout KISStory shared their thoughts on the early years of the band. Everybody from rival bands to roadies to managers to fans were interviewed as well as the four original members (although Ace & Peter are barely featured). This might be the overall best KISS related book. It’s certainly one of the closest to the truth since it’s not entirely based on one person’s (… and their ghostwriter’s) perspective. It’s an honest account with critics of the band featured amongst supporters. Hopefully, this is just the first volume of many.
And coming out last was what was the most anticipated KISS autobiography to me, Paul Stanley’s Face The Music. Throughout the band’s forty year history, Paul is the guy who has been there the whole time. Yeah, Gene has also been in the band since its inception but outside of a few years in the ’90s, KISS has seemed like a secondary interest to The Demon behind his business ventures for much of the past thirty years. Paul is the voice of KISS and the band’s biggest cheerleader. Lineups changed, costumes changed, makeup went on, makeup went off, makeup went on again but Paul was there throughout it all. If you can only have one person tell the story, then there’s no one better than The Starchild.
Although there’s a decent amount of ego stroking in the book, Paul also displayed a lot more humility than the other three and was even willing to admit a few of his songs were not up to par. Paul seemed sort of genuinely likable. Like Criss, he wasn’t afraid to dish out criticism but he was a lot more tactful than The Catman. Paul hates Peter Criss though. He derides Catman for being a moronic, under talented, overly sensitive drug addicted loser. Which is only fair, I guess since Catman called Paul a closet case, pill popping drama queen. There’s a lot of trash talk in these books but Paul & Peter stand out for seeming like they genuinely dislike each other.
Paul is also not measured in his criticism of Ace Frehley and Vinnie Vincent but somewhat surprisingly, he doesn’t hold back in his criticism of Gene. He talks a lot about how Gene has feigned interest in the band since the ’80s and produced half-assed material. But probably the criticism that stung the most is Stanley calling out Gene for being an overrated businessman. Heck, Paul even criticizes Eric Carr, who’s a minor deity amongst the KISS Army. Starchild’s criticisms never seem like sour grapes. If anything, he seems jilted that the other guys who’ve been in the band throughout the years don’t share his passion and dedication to the group.
Unlike KISS’ albums, KISS’ books have only gotten better as they’ve gone along. I was a bit sad when Paul’s book got released in early April because that’s the last of them, for now. I mean, Gene will inevitably take another crack at writing an autobiography and hopefully, it’s not as bad as the first two. I guess Bruce Kulick or Tommy Thayer or Eric Singer could write a book, although I’m not sure there’s a whole lot of interest there. Vinnie Vincent could be interesting but I don’t know if he’s able to write a check let alone a book at this point.
All these recent autobiographies and trash talk made it all the more fascinating when KISS was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in April. Could they co-exist? Would they play? If they did, which lineup would it be and what would they wear? Who would be inducted? Ultimately and some would say inevitably, only the original four were inducted and Gene & Paul refused to play in protest. After all the grief they’ve given each other over the years, I’m surprised that people were surprised that the original four wouldn’t play together. In a perfect world, they’d put their differences aside but see how you feel about hanging out with somebody if they start spewing off near libelous statements about you!
Disappointingly, KISS’ Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction was somewhat anti-climatic. There was no performance, not even an all star tribute to the band (as there had been when Van Halen was inducted). For the people who love a good train wreck, there weren’t even any fireworks in their thank you speeches like there were when the original members of Blondie started arguing with each other onstage a couple years back. They were well behaved with their speeches and outside of Peter Criss, they all seemed kind of underwhelmed at having to be there. In their defense, The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame isn’t that much of an honor. It’s not even a Grammy, which isn’t that much of an honor it’s in own right. It’s a tourist attraction and a boys club. Getting inducted there doesn’t mean a whole hell of a lot more than getting into the Hollywood RockWalk. After years of speculating what would happen when KISS got inducted, the answer ended up being not much. A nice induction speech by Tom Morello, some rote speeches by the original members, and that was it.
So does KISStory end with a whimper and not a band? Well, only time will tell. This summer will see the release of Ace Frehley’s sixth solo album, Spaced Invader as well as KISS’ tour with Def Leppard. Peter Criss is also supposedly working on a “rock album” which hopefully isn’t as horrible as his other solo work. While I think it’s almost definite that we’ve seen the last of the original lineup, you can never say never in the world of rock n’ roll. The appeal of the almighty dollar and the roar of the crowd can bury almost any age old grudge. One thing is for certain, the personalities of KISS never fail to be interesting even if their music sometimes does. And I know that I’ll be rockin’ and rollin’ all night and partyin’ every day (well not EVERY day) with the music of KISS for a long time to come. And I’ll keep the readers of Culture Crossfire up to date on all news regarding the Hottest Band in the Land!
Thanks everybody for reading Connor’s KISS Korner! I’ll see you somewhere down the road!
