The Grahams hit me in the feels. Several stories I forgot/never knew thanks to the extended family interviews.
I teared up at the end. I get the idea of ending the cycle totally. My Grandpa died in the 50s at least in large part from alcohol abuse. He was a farmer and owned a auctioneering business, but must have found time to drink plenty as well given his liver gave out on him.
Despite being a farmer/businessman, he must have thought of himself as hot shit, as my cousins who remember him recall him making my Grandma press his clothes each morning, along with other duties. Speaks to the general treatment of women at the time,
Grandpa died 2 years after his teenage son died in a tractor accident. This left my 8 year old Dad as the man of the house. Grandma sold off the farm, then switched gears and tried to buy back enough to run the farm again. She couldn't make it work. Dad quit school at 13 to hunt for food so they could eat (He had 2 adult sisters, but supposedly instead of helping their mother, one at least demanded her share of my Grandpa's money, which doesn't make much sense considering Grandma was only like 50 at the time and had a long runway in life ahead).
Despite having 3 adult children, Grandma stayed in the country until 1968 without even having running water. She bathed in a metal tub and shit in a bucket in winter.
Dad's Grandma also died within a few months of his dad and brother, so I have theorized this was the point where something broke inside him and made him a miserable asshole his whole life. He conned my mother into marrying him, then treated her like dirt for the next 50 plus years. He also shit talked his kids, and broke my confidence to a degree I've not yet recovered from. (We'll ignore the late night naked parents fights in this retelling of Brody's childhood trauma)
Even as he was dying and on supplemental oxygen he would still go off the tubes at home long enough to cuss us out. "You and your mother! The Blind leading the blind!" Then he died and we all pretended he was an awesome guy because he could shoot animals and fix vehicles.
I have PTSD and avoid serious arguments as much as I can.
My oldest brother took up the mantle and was a prick a lot of times to his first wife. Beat on her and cheated on her. My nieces were part of their own horror stories growing up. I saw a little of it from time to time. Now he's married to a woman the size of Moose Cholak, so he can't win any fights anymore.
He speaks in a worried manner that my nephews aren't breeding to carry on the Lutzke name, but I don't see anything worth dragging on to another generation.