King Kamala said:
My cousin who has the most questionable taste in music I've ever encountered (he's a big defender of Van Halen III and nu-metal era Vanilla Ice)
I'm not a defender of Van Halen III, but I do (or did) own V-Ice's
Hard to Swallow on CD. I paid a few bucks for it at a used CD shop over ten years ago for the lolz, and it didn't disappoint. Ice's lyrics are as hilarious as you'd expect ("what ya tryin' to do, make the ice melt? Don't you know my cream is good for your health?) but Ross Robinson's production is actually about as good as nu-metal gets, since he had to work extra-hard to get something out of an artist who brings nothing to the table. So while it's probably one of the most awesomely bad albums I've ever heard, there are elements of it that I like non-ironically. Also, after all these years I can still recite some of Ice's verses from memory.
Here it is, a dope hit, Ice man comin' with a dope hit, cuz a few suckers need their throats slit, jealous cuz I went multi-platinum, now I'm gonna blast you in the head 'til you're dead with my Magnum lyrics, might be simplistic, but I'm no simp on the strength cuz I know how to pimp it, now I got grip and suckers keep sinking in my quicksand, Vanilla Ice vocal hitman, got the number three in my crosshairs, sittin' on the rooptop BOP BOP BOP and you fools drop,
"Pop Goes The Weasel"* was a big fl-flop-flop, press didn't like your records cuz it wasn't hip hop-hop, but this ain't a dis cuz you sold gold, still I made a killin' cuz it ain't even a tenth of 11 million, givin' my rhymes spice, my DJ's on the slice, Vanilla Ice is back on the map with the wrath of the ICE KING
* Scratching is played in lieu of the phrase "Pop Goes the Weasel" for unknown reasons. Upon doing some research, I learned that this verse, which is the first verse on
Hard to Swallow, originally appeared on Ice's second album, the one after
To The Extreme where he tried to sound like Cypress Hill. In that version "Pop Goes the Weasel" was not removed, but it was also much closer to when the beef with 3rd Bass occurred. By '98, that feud was old hat, and perhaps the reference to the song was removed, so as not to alert the discerning rap-metal fan that the lyrics were recycled from a previous recording.
FAKE EDIT: Looking up the lyrics online I learned that it's actually "brothers didn't like your record," not "press," which, let's face it, is pretty rich coming from Rob Van Winkle.
