Hello, sorry we're late, but we were just tuning. What's the matter, they keep you waiting or something? Are we late? It's raining out there. What do you mean it's raining out? We know it's fucking raining out. God damn. Men, the guy who tightened this microphone is Godzilla, man, I can’t, look at that, look at that. I better either grow an inch, man, or I need a boyfriend.
"You need a what? ... You need a what?"
A BOYFRIEND, can't you fucking hear; what's wrong with you. I'm gonna quote a line, like, like, from, from, Yeats, I think it is, like, for you, and that's called "the best lack all conviction, while the best are filled..." no, no, it's the other way around. "The best lack all conviction, and the worst are filled with a passionate intensity." Now you figure out where I am.
Standing on the corner, a suitcase in my hand Jack is in his corset, Jane is in her vest, I hear you, I hear you knocking but you can't come in hey, Hey honey I'm in a rock and roll band. And ridin' a Stutz Bearcat, those were different times, and those ladies they studied rules of verse, and all those ladies, they rolled their eyes, and sayin' Sweet Jane, Sweet Jane, Sweet Jane. Now Jack, he's a banker. And Jane, she's just a little bitty clerk. And both of them...hey, you little people out there. This is for all you little people. Don't you hate it, those Academy Awards, man? You know, they say, here's fuckin' Barbra Streisand, she says "I want to thank all those...the little people, there's too many little people, I can't get their names." Fuck her and her little people! I like big people. Fuck short people and tall people, man, I like middle people! People from Wyoming. You ever meet somebody from Wyoming? Not me. Anyway. Now Jack, he's a banker, and Jane, she's a clerk. Hey clerk. Gimme good clerk. I give good clerk. Uh huh. And both them, man, they saved their pennies, and their fucking nickels, and their dimes, and it builds up. They got a nest egg. Here comes the condominium, aw, shit! Hey Miami. And they're sitting there by the fire, man. It's an electric fire. You plug it in. But I like make-believe fire. I like make-believe love, too. Ooh mama, give me some make-believe love. Hey! Make-Believe Love. That's an album title, Michael. Write that down, quick! Fuck, I might forget it! Listen to some classical music, heyyyy, better watch it now. There's only one time, one time only to vote. Hey, The March Of The Wooden Soldiers. Have you ever put a quarter in those machines, man? You know, like the bear that plays basketball? You put a quarter in. Uh huh. I guess you never put a quarter in me. Some people say I'm residue. The March Of The Wooden Soldiers. Hup! Where were you on the list when they called you for Vietnam HEY MAN FOR VIETNAM? "Are you political, Lou?" Political about what? Give me an issue, I'll give you a tissue. Wipe my ass with it. Aw yeah. We're just here to make out. You bend over, we'll put the head in. You know, if you don't like it, then we'll talk about it. Face north, Jack!Are we been broadcast tonight? Fuck Radio Ethiopia, man, I'm Radio Brooklyn! I ain't no snob, man. Haha. They said Sweet Jane, oh sweet Jane. You know, there's some people, man, they like to go out dancing. Watch this!
"Jane's a bitch!"
What about her?
"...fuck Radio Ethiopia!"
If you write as good as you talk, nobody reads you. What do I look like, Henny Youngman up here, man? YouknowIfoundmywifeinthelivingroominaVolkswagensaidhowdyougettheresaidmadearightthroughthekitchenAIN'TTHATFUNNYHAHAHA. And there's even some evil motherfuckers OOH. OOH. OOH. That tell you that life is just made out of dirt, and that, aw man, hey, those pretty women, man, they never really fake. Those villains always--SHUT UP YOU!--blink their eyes. And little bitty children are the only ones that blush, and that life--life, is just to die. But I’ll tell you something. Hey man, anyone who's got a heart, a rock and roll heart, would you turn around and break it? And you know, do that again, Michael. Is that control? Watch this. Now. And anyone who has played the part you know, hey. Hey man, they wouldn’t turn around and hate it, they say Sweet Jane.