Kayfabe, Lies and Alibis: Shoot Interview with Missy Hyatt

Youshoot with Missy Hyatt
Presented by Kayfabe Commentaries

The idea of the shoot is that all the questions are no holds barred fan submitted entries:

Being a Jew never caused Hyatt any problems. She doesn’t want a few bad Jews to ruin her whole religion’s reputation.

Her dog shit on the floor today, so we get a little rant on it. It’s annoying.

Kevin Sullivan loved money, not the devil. Nancy Sullivan was thrilled to get away from Kevin and loved living with Chris Benoit.

Everybody read the Wrestling Observer in the 80’s. The wrestlers loved the gossipy nature of it.

A Mark Madden story is teased and Hyatt doesn’t tell it. Grrrrrr…

Hyatt makes fun of the questions the fans ask about places she wasn’t around. Sean Oliver sounds a tiny bit annoyed that Missy is pleading the 5th on a few questions already.

She won’t say if Vince McMahon hit on her.

Dark Journey would fuck anything.

Virgil, Lanny Poffo, and Robert Fuller have huge cocks. Flair had his penis out all the time.

Bills QB Jim Kelly met Hyatt and they kissed. Kelly came in his pants just from making out.

Tommy Rich hooked up with Missy when she was still a teenager. He was hot and he had a big dick to boot.

Scott Putzki had a tiny penis.

Atlanta Falcon Bill Fralic wanted Hyatt to fuck him with a dildo in the butt. Jason Hervey experimented with men.

Eric Watts did chores for Missy in an effort to woo her.

Road Warrior Hawk and Val Venis both ejaculated in seconds. Hawk had a big dick though, so it was worth it.

Jake Roberts introduced Hyatt to cocaine.

Sandman was always drunk so he couldn’t fuck. They would sleep in the same bed but nothing happened.

Hyatt once auctioned off sex with herself in Nevada.

Gino Hernandez died before Missy could fuck him.

Missy never had sex with a woman.

Honky Tonk Man’s gimmick was great. They call him up on Missy’s cell phone on a lark.

She says Jerry Jarrett is gay, but doesn’t elaborate.

Lots of drugs were used in the 80’s. Hyatt kept up her dug use until 2004 when she finally cleaned herself up.

Hyatt can’t name a single wrestler who didn’t smoke pot.

The World Class locker room was full of cocaine users.

New Jack took Hyatt’s car in order to find crack in the ghetto.

Missy slept with lots of hockey players after she and Jason Hervey broke up because he loved the NHL.

Hervey wouldn’t let her wear high heels because he was sensitive about his height.

The Buffalo Bills would watch WCW before practice, which is how Jim Kelly first decided to contact her.

Kelly would call Hyatt up and tell her she forgot her panties in his car in order to make Hervey jealous. Hervey kept one of her implants out of spite.

Madusa’s implants are horrible. Hyatt’s are the best. Stacy Kiebler should never get implants. Tracy Brooks is ugly, and her fake tits can’t hide that fact.

Rena Mero had a fake personality, fake tits and was a snob. Dark Journey was a C U Next Tuesday…

Woman was natural. Ditto Baby Doll.

Sunny sold her implants on ebay.

This is all part of a LONG LONG segment of Hyatt talking about women’s implants.

Missy hauls around double D’s today.

Madusa didn’t shave her privates.

ECW was a den for lots of sex with fans. This included a mother/daughter tandem.

New Jack hates Missy and told many bad stories about her. He told a story about Hyatt turning herself in to the police while high and reported herself  missing. She cuts a promo on New Jack in response.

Eric Bischoff still hates Hyatt. Missy had to commentate with Eric in the early days of WCW and relates how raw he was on air and how many takes he had to do to get simple lines out.

Missy shares her version of her exit from WCW. A picture was taken of her breast popping out at Starrcade 93, and a few weeks later Hyatt was shocked to see it on a wall in WCW headquarters, She had it taken down and was angry but didn’t sue until Bischoff screwed her on a royalty check – then she took WCW to the cleaners.

She says Bischoff wanted the lawsuit settled fast because he had incidents in his past he didn’t want dug up such as child molestation allegations from a student at Bischoff’s karate class.

Sunny and Hyatt’s porn site closed down after their partner embezzled cash from the site.

Dark Journey didn’t know how to work and Hyatt took a beating working with her,

Bill Alfonzo and Missy Hyatt ended up in a skirmish and they went on “Judge Mathis” to settle it.

The guys treated her like a member of the gang and ribbed her constantly. She didn’t have to deal with being hit on too often.

Her first memory of wrestling was of the Freebirds putting a baby bonnet on Terry Gordy’s head.

The Von Erichs were nice people. Kayfabe was still alive, so hanging out with them wasn’t viable.

Missy admits her unaired WWF interviews were horrible and she’s glad they never got out. The crowd for the WWF shows were the largest she had ever seen and she sort of froze up.

Dusty Rhodes and Eddie Gilbert got along once JCP bought the UWF.  Gilbert looked up to Rhodes.

Rhodes wanted to do vignettes of Stan Hansen dating Missy Hyatt, with him taking her to honky bars and other redneck places.

In the AWF in the mid-90’s Missy Hyatt was allowed to play it straight as a color commentator and not a bimbo and she thinks it was her best work ever.

Herb Adams was the only promoter to ever bounce a check on Hyatt.

Women shouldn’t wrestle. They should be used to put guys over and occasionally do a cat fight.

All the women on a roster should be different looking, have a unique style and stand out as best they can.

Eddie Gilbert would still be booking wrestling if he was alive today. Lawler, Gilbert, Rhodes and Ken Mantel were the best bookers she worked for.

Final thoughts: This was fairly disappointing, as the wrestling questions were scarce and the sexual segments just went on and on and on without being particularly interesting. Case in point, Missy spent 15 minutes (at least) going through women one by one and telling us they had breast implants. WELL DUH. Overall a waste of two of hours of your life. Avoid!


Written by Andrew Lutzke

The grumpy old man of culturecrossfire.com, lover of wrasslin' and true crimes.

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