Wrestle War 91

Doom continued to suffer communication issues and several TV matches were aired where they nearly came to blows after blowing attempts to interfere on their partners behalf.

DDP challenged Teddy Long to allow DOOM to face his new team. Long accepted after Page implied it was a pair of rookies Page was training. Ultimately DDP brought out Jimmy Garvin and Michael Hayes as his duo and the pair beat DOOM by DQ.

WCW brought back the World Six-man championships. The match that was used to determine the new champs was The Junkyard Dog, Ricky Morton, & Tommy Rich against Dr. X (Randy Culley), Dutch Mantel, & Buddy Landell. Yikes.

Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers were renamed the more nationally marketable sounding “Young Pistols”.

Big Josh made his debut just prior to the PPV, coming in as a “fan” who jumped out of the stands to save Tommy Rich.

Mark Mero debuted as a jobber. Johnny B. Badd would come around in a few months. Micheal Wallstreet quit WCW weeks earlier, but his final match aired between the Clash and Wrestle War.

In one of the more infamous WCW moments, The Fabulous Freebirds lost the World tag team titles to the Steiners at a TV taping prior to the PPV. Since the (spoiler alert) Birds didn’t win the titles until Wrestle War, this technically gave them a negative day title reign. Yes it all played out fine on TV, but geeks like me have to write * by their reign and explain the dates when going over title histories. One could ask why bother giving the Birds a less than two week reign, when DOOM could have just as easily lost to the Steiners.

Wrestle War

February 23rd, 1991

WWF ran this town the night before and that helped WCW draw lots and lots of empty seats here.

World Six-Man Tag Team Champions JYD, Tommy Rich and Ricky Morton vs. “Big Cat” Curtis Hughes and State Patrol

JYD and Hughes start off as they are each team’s fat yet powerful men. JYD quickly headbutts Cat into wilting into his corner for a tag. Morton and Rich take turns out wrestling State Patrol.

JYD tags back in and he almost blows a snapmare because he didn’t want to bend over at all forcing Wright to take an awkward bump. Cat and the Dog go at it again to establish who the alpha male is, and this time Hughes beats the veteran with his youthful athleticism.

Morton tags in but State Patrol exhibit the quick tags and double team moves that are sometimes necessary for a lesser team to beat experience and talent. JYD finally tags in after a lengthy beatdown on Morton and quickly whoops both Patrol members and Morton gets the pin during a 6-way skirmish. This was fine.

Terry Taylor quotes Clubber Lang during his promo that promises pain for Tom Zenk later tonight.

Brad Armstrong vs. “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton

They trade fists to start and Eaton wins that with a thumb to the eye of Armstrong. Brad delivers a headscissors and grounds Eaton with armwork. They exchange extended restholds as Dusty notes Eaton looks less fat than usual.

Business finally picks up when Eaton delivers a stiff clothesline and modified back breaker. Dusty and JR amuse themselves by talking about Oriental food while more restholds are applied. Ross asks what body part the abdominal stretch hurts. Perhaps the abs, JR?

Eaton cuts off Armstrong’s last offensive flurry with a neckbreaker and delivers an Alabama Jam for the win. Went too long since the guys just wanted to sit in lazy mat holds for the duration of the competition.

The Great Muta is at ringside watching the action. Why not book him to work on the PPV then?

Itsumi Yamasaki & Miki Handa defeated Miss A & Mami Kitamura

I have no idea who any of these ladies are. Dusty resigns himself to only calling “Miss A’s” action as he can’t say any of the others names. Itsumi hits some nice high flying moves that look like they’d hurt herself more than her opponent as she leaps from high areas to deliver hip tosses and such. Miss A is bigger than the Lilliputian others and comes in with some hard kicks that wakes the crowd from their nap.

The ladies continue to trade hard hitting roughhouse moves like suplexes, backdrops and bulldogs, then Miss A comes back in and kicks one of the babyfaces in the face a dozen times. The psychology goes to hell a little bit towards the end as they stop selling in order to hit high spots and the large Miss A is rolled up for the upset pin. They certainly showed up the guys from the match prior.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Buddy Landell

Best I can tell, this is Dustin’s first match back in WCW since his WWF run. Dustin did work NWA TV when he was very green back in 1988. The crowd gives Dusty’s kid a nice response.

Dustin uses his fists and elbows to concuss the veteran Landell. Rhodes handles his business pretty well until he misses a charge in the corner and that allows Landell to start and test the mettle of his opposition. Buddy cranks at Dustin’s arm as his free hand finds it’s way into Rhodes’ eyes. Rhodes proves to have his Daddy’s grit as he endures the assault until he catches Landell with a boot to the face and a bulldog for the win. Perfectly acceptable wrestling.

Missy Hyatt tries to get into the dressing room. She is greeted by Stan Hansen, with chaw dripping down his chest and whiskey on his breath. He verbally abuses her and swats Missy with his hat until she runs away.

The Young Pistols vs. Morgan and Jack Victory

The girthy heels win the scuffle that opens the match, but the Pistols’ speed allows them a quick comeback. The arena lights go out and the men sit in the dark until a spotlight comes on to illuminate the ring.

The Pistols continue to use their acceleration abilities to keep the pot-bellied baddies at bay. Armstrong finally misses a flying move to allow the massive marplots to grind away at our heroes. The dastardly dissidents heat segment feels like it goes on forever and its not particularly interesting in any manner. Finally Smothers snags the pin on Morgan when Armstrong delivers a dropkick to the belly of Morgan in the middle of a suplex attempt.

Formulaic stuff. This felt like the opening match of a house show, not a PPV mid-card match. Went way too long for what it was. No more Victory and Morgan matches please.

Tom Zenk vs. Terrence Taylor

The men have wrestled several times on TV to build to this grudge match. Taylor stooges and bails before the action can begin. Zenk slaps him during the next exchange and Taylor scoots to the floor again. Zenk cranks on a headlock and works the hold with an intensity that was lacking in the earlier Armstrong/Eaton encounter. Taylor attempts to gather info from the computer, but Zenk takes a proactive stance and doesn’t allow him to utilize the game plan provided by his electronics.

Zenk finally absorbs a nasty looking back suplex and Terrence takes things to the floor to use the wires to asphyxiate Zenk. A wicked backbreaker greets Zenk back in the ring and Taylor is able to implement his offensive until Zenk clotheslines him to the floor. They trade fists on the floor and Zenk garners momentum back in the ring with his highflying moves combined with a smattering of bar room brawling. Alexandra York distracts the ref during a Zenk pin and when the Z-man accosts the ref, Taylor rolls him up with a handful of tights for the win. Good match.

THE DANGER ZONE:

Paul E. is here to interview El Gigante. Dangerously comes out dressed as a Matador for some easy cheap heat. MY NAME IS PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY. Whoa, I guess he always used that line.

Heyman tells the fans that he is part of the US Border Patrol and he is giving all the refried bean eating Mexicans in attendance a chance to get out of America or he’ll arrest them.

Gigante and Heyman circle each other as Paul tosses out tons of racist insults. He implies the Spanish like butt sex. Huh. Gigante just replies “No Habla English”.

Heyman finally gets fed up with Gigante’s silence and tosses a sombrero in his face. Gigante slams Heyman and walks off. Good heel work stuff from Heyman, even if it’s not politically correct.

BIG VAN VADER vs. Stan Hansen

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hansen leaps into Vader on the ramp and they trade hard blows. Hansen flips Vader into the ring and keeps pouring on the stiff shots. Vader greets him with an earth shaking collision and splashes him in the corner. Vader tosses Hansen to the floor and they trade forearms and chops. Vader misses a charge back in the ring and Hansen manages to back suplex him. They fight back onto the floor and Hansen chucks a chair at Vader and they fight right over Dusty and JR which leads to a great Dusty line “We in da middah ov a dang monstah movie!”

Vader scoops Hansen up and drops him on the railing ribs first. Hansen, ever defiant, chucks a chair at Vader while laying on his back in agony. Hansen gives Vader a free trip to the ring post and delivers a double knee drop. Vader and Hansen keep trading bombs in the ring and the ref tries to stop them and is tossed. A double DQ is called but Vader and Hansen don’t care.

Vader comes off the top rope with a clothesline and Hansen unleashes a lariat. Both men then use Hansen’s bullrope to choke the other.

The men brawl all the way to the locker room. Good fracas, as if you expected anything less.

US Champion Lex Luger vs. “Dangerous” Dan Spivey

The bulls lock up and neither man gives no quarter. Luger looks more jacked than usual. Spivey tries to bring the pain but Lex’s endurance is still a full tank and he powers back. Luger misses a charge and that allows Spivey to deliver a Tombstone piledriver, nasty DDT and a neckbreaker. Somehow Luger survives that barrage and kicks out of Spivey’s pin.

Luger manages to reverse a suplex attempt into one of his own and that buys him some time. Spivey is relentless with his surge for the gold and delivers a flying elbow (!) and traps Luger in a headscissors to snuff out his will to fight. Spivey tries to crush Lex’s vertebra with a piledriver and the champion has to find the intestinal fortitude to kick out yet again.

Luger tries to get his second wind and starts to no sell Spivey’s punches, so Dan downs him with a belly-to-belly that ends that brief rally. Spivey goes away from his smash mouth game plan for a second and it costs him as Dan charges Lex and is dumped over the top rope on a botched stun gun attempt.

Luger connects on a flying clothesline and a stiff powerslam. Lex signals for the torture rack, and the wry vet Spivey sends The Total Package to the floor to cut off his comeback. A double clothesline keeps both athletes down for a bit. Then both men fall from a double shoulder block.

Lex tries a top rope move out of desperation and Spivey catches him with a slam off the top. Luger manages to turn the slam into a cradle and gets the win out of nowhere. HELL of an amazing match from one of the least likely pairings you’d expect it from.

The completely spent Luger is then awarded a newly minted US title by Grizzly Smith and Nikita Koloff. Koloff takes the opportunity to crack Luger with the belt and leave him laying.

World Tag Team Champions DOOM vs. Jimmy Garvin and Michael Hayes

DDP cuts a ridiculous promo to introduce “Big Daddy Dink” as the Birds new road manager. So 4 ladies, DDP and Sir Oliver Humperdink all join the Birds.

Simmons chucks Hayes down on his ass. Hayes cries hair pull and Simmons just looks at the ref as if to say “You think I need to cheat?” To prove his point, Hayes is snatched in a bear hug and spinebustered into a grease spot on the mat. Hayes stops the clowning and punches Ron right in the mush and nails a bulldog. Simmons powerslams both Birds in response.

Garvin calls out Reed & it does not go well: Garvin tries to be a pugilist and Reed mostly no sells that and nails Garvin with a stiff clothesline.

Hayes and Garvin are both press slammed but some sneaky cheap shots put the Birds on the offensive. Reed just arbitrarily scoops up Garvin and slams him to the mat.

Simmons come in and head butts Garvin’s spine a number of times. Reed slams him on the concrete for good measure. Simmons KILLS Garvin with a spinebuster back in the ring and hammers him with a powerslam in case he wasn’t a quadriplegic yet.

Despite the dominance, Teddy Long tosses in a foreign object and Simmons is accidentally KO’d by Reed with brass knux. A loopy and injured Garvin is shoved on top of Simmons for the upset win. DOOM implode after the match as they come to blows and Simmons is KO’d again by the brass knux. Match was way better than expected.

JR and Dusty interview some sweepstakes winner and the poor kid is camera shy. They ask him who his favorite War Games team is and he answers “DOOM”. JR then breaks the news to him that DOOM is probably done.

WAR GAMES!!!

Sting, Brian Pillman, Scott Steiner, and Rick Steiner vs. Ric Flair, Larry Zbyszko, Barry Windham and Sid Vicious

Arn Anderson suffered a pulled groin prior to this show and so Larry is replacing him. The babyfaces are all fired up to kick some ass! Pillman starts for the babyfaces despite his team wanting him in last because of a “shoulder injury” the Horsemen gave him 24 hours earlier.

Pillman and Windham fire back and forth and Pillman uses the top of the cage to propel himself into Barry several times. Windham is cheese grated into the cage and the crimson flows. Pillman bites at Windham’s cut and unleashes his hate in the form of fists. Pillman continues to shine as Windham is chucked into the cage several more times and by the five minute mark, Windham is desperately in need of Ric Flair’s intervention.

Pillman and Flair trade chops until Windham can jump Pillman from behind. Windham twice violently sends Brian into the cage. Flair and Windham try and maim Pillman as they double-team him with focus being on his bum shoulder.

Sting is in next and faces 2 on 1 odds as Pillman needs recovery time. Sting fends off both men long enough for Pillman to pull himself together and even the odds once again. Sting unleashes his frustration on Flair for stealing his World title.

Larry is in next and Sting wallops him with a crossbody as things technically remain 2 on 2 because Windham is hurting bad.

Five minutes flies by; Windham and Flair try and jump Rick Steiner as he enters the cage but the whirling dervish that is the Dog Faced Gremlin is not to be contained!

Flair is busted open.

Sid comes in and goes right after Steiner. Flair goes low to stop Rick’s rampage. Windham goes back after Pillman’s shoulder. Rick no sells his head bouncing off the cage.

Scotty is in last and blasts through Flair and Windham, and then sends Larry head over heels with a suplex. Flair is trapped in a Scorpion Death Lock. Sid goes after Pillman’s shoulder.

All four babyfaces trap the Horsemen in Figure fours. The cage is really low compared to other years – Sting can barely extend his arms to military press Flair. Everyone is brawling and bleeding.

Pillman is flung into the top of the cage by Sid. Then he tries a power bomb but Pillman’s feet catch the top of the cage and Pillman lands horribly awkward.

Sid goes for another, and this time Pillman is somehow able to get his feet into a safe place. Pillman’s dead.

El Gigante runs down and rips open the cage and forfeits the match on behalf of his friends. Great hate filled donnybrook!

JR closes by discussing Nikita’s heel turn with Dusty. JR fibs and says Koloff lost the US title to Luger in 1987 fair and square. Check the tape Ross!