Happy Thoughts on WWE Smackdown for 03/21/2014


WWE Smackdown


Houston, Texas


-Corporate Kane is out to begin the show.  He’s out to gloat and shows a video of HHH beating the shit out of Daniel Bryan.  The recap video drags a bit, but still a good beat down, despite how stupid it was to have Bryan taking so many bumps while handcuffs.  Kane tells the crowd that no one is bigger than The Authority, and tells the crowd to quit being delusional about Bryan being good enough.  He tells them that they deserved what happened.  Kane then reads a letter that HHH gave to him to read.  Its language is what you would expect, with HHH back to playing a corporate spokesman.


Fandango vs. Fernando

This seems like a match suited for Superstars.  We join in progress, with Fandango in control with a chinlock.  Fernando escapes with a jawbreaker, but takes a kick for two.  Fandango goes up but misses a knee drop.  Fernando runs him over a couple of times and hits a ‘rana.  Fernando hits a springing back elbow and Summer is unhappy.  She distracts to help Fandango hit a clothesline.  She’s wearing a red dress and this makes Torito charge.  She runs to Fandango’s aid and Fernando gets a roll up for the win.

Final Thoughts:  I guess that someone really needed to have that joke play out in front of a large television audience.


Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler

The “please re-sign, Dolph” push continues.  Sandow hits a few knee lift at the onset.  A Russian legsweep leads to a knee drop.  Damien hits a couple of headbutts, but Dolph floats over on a slam and hits a dropkick.  Outside, Sandow is slammed into the apron and rolled back in.  Dolph goes up, but Sandow knocks him off the top.  Dolph takes a rough bump to the floor, hitting the stairs on the way down.  Dolph beats the count back in, and Sandow slugs away.  Sandow just looks wrong with shorter hair.  There’s just nothing left of his gimmick.  Dolph fights back, but takes a back elbow.  Sandow pulls the knee brace off and drops the bone.  Outside, Sandow sends Dolph into the barricade.

Back inside, Damien gets two and moves into the chinlock.  Dolph gets the elbow up on the charge and takes Damien over with a DDT.  They both fight back to their feet, with Dolph getting Damien in the corner and slugging away, following with the neckbreaker for two.  Dolph goes for the Fameasser, but Sandow reverses into a sit-out slam.  Dolph side steps a neckbreaker and picks up the win with his Fameasser.  Dolph is pumped and takes a point at the sign afterwards.

Final Thoughts:  *3/4.  It’s a good idea to finally build up the Fameasser as Dolph’s finish, should they go that way.  This was just fine.


-The Wyatt Family is ready to talk from their lair.  Harper says that tonight, he is Cena’s reaper and is to carry out Bray’s will.  Bray follows up with the fact that Cena’s fear is his power and control.


Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose vs. Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal vs. Rybaxel vs. The Real Americans

I expect lots of outside shenanigans in this match.  This is also for the number one contender spot to the tag team belts.  Dean and Axel begin.  Ambrose grabs a side headlock and runs over Curtis, following with a clothesline.  Dean drops an elbow and slugs away in the ropes.  Axel gets a boot up and tags in Jinder.  He is tripped up and bent by Ambrose.  Dean tags in Seth for a dropkick and clothesline combination for two.  Ryback tags in and slugs Seth down.  Seth works his way out of a suplex, and Dean gets the blind tag.  They clothesline Ryback to the outside and slug Axel down.  We see they are indeed faces now, with Dean and Seth diving out onto Rybaxel.  We hit the break.

We return with Drew and Jinder double teaming Dean, with Jinder hitting a big knee drop and moving to a front facelock.  Axel tags in and stomps at Ambrose.  Ryback tags in and continues the punishment, right after the table mentions how good 3MB were looking.  Ryback hits a splash for two.  Dean gets a sunset flip but gets cut down and hit with a suplex.  Ryback hits the Meathook, but Swagger smartly tags in to get two, Ryback breaking it up with a boot.  Swaggerbomb and double stomp from Cesaro gets two.  Rollins breaks it up, but Cesaro kicks him across the ring.  Dean fights back, absorbing uppercuts like a champ and rolling back into the ring with a clothesline.  Swagger cuts off the hot tag but gets caught with a small package and then a DDT.  Seth gets the hot tag and runs through Jinder.  He sends Drew to the floor and hits a blockbuster on Jinder.  He then takes out Rybaxel, making sure to flip out onto Ryback before looking to finish Mahal.  Slater trips up Seth, but then eats a Reigns spear.  Rollins hits the curb stomp, but Drew breaks up the pin as we breakdown.

Corporate Kane pops up, already shirtless and does battle with Roman on the outside.  The bell rings and the match is thrown out.  Up the ramp, The New Age Outlaws join Kane in beating down Reigns while Rollins and Ambrose are beaten down by Rybaxel and The Real Americans.  Back on the ramp, Kane hits a big boot on Reigns and leaves him to reenter the ring where they beat down the already beaten Seth and Dean.  Dean gets a choke slam as Reigns crawls back towards the ring.  The Outlaws meet him and roll him back into the ring, where Kane choke slams him as well.  So, this whole match turned into a setup for Kane to strike back on The Shield.  This could be an interesting development.

Final Thoughts:  **1/2 and ruined by the lack of a finish.  I didn’t do Seth’s asskicking spree enough justice, as it was a lot of fun to watch.  Hopefully, The New Age Outlaws are dispatched easily by The Shield and they don’t see themselves having to work down to their level for too long.  On the bright side, this gets us one step closer to The Shield dishing out real justice at WrestleMania.


-The Miz is out for Miz TV, which the crowd doesn’t really give a damn about.  He’s here to talk about the Andre Memorial.  He’s in the battle royal, as well.  He introduces The Big Show to talk about the battle royal.  Show talks about how winning the battle royal will cement his legacy, always being compared to Andre.  The Miz brings up his awful record at WrestleMania.  Big Show pulls out his “When you were in high school popping pimples…” rebuttal.  The Miz brings out a bunch of competitors from the battle royal.  Sheamus is about tenth on the list, and has a microphone and says that they should just fight, since there are so many of them in the ring right now.  The Miz says that they should all try to eliminate Big Show.  People start getting tossed at such a high rate.  It is especially a rate much faster than we’ll see at WrestleMania.  Show and Sheamus battle at the end of this skirmish.  Miz tries to sneak up, but finds himself alone with Big Show.  The inept Miz is tossed out like the rest of the pieces of trash.


Big E vs. Alberto Del Rio

We join this match in progress, with Del Rio working over Big E in the corner.  Big E reverses and does the same.  Big E hits a shoulder charge in the corner and gets two.  Del Rio fights back with a rope assisted double stomp.  Del Rio gets his feet up on the corner charge and puts on the armbreaker in the ropes.  He runs back into the ring to take a couple of clotheslines and a belly-to-belly suplex.  Del Rio gets the backstabber out of The Big Ending for two.  Big E forgot to drop the straps.  Del Rio dodges another corner charge and picks up the win with a Si Kick.

Final Thoughts:  Wow, there was just about no reason to have this match.  Usually, the IC champion doesn’t get jobbed out so quickly.


-Santino is getting touched up in makeup covering up a bruise caused by being around Emma.  Emma pops up and their heads collide, causing Emma to take a turn in the makeup chair.


The Bella Twins vs. Natalya and Summer Rae

AJ Lee is on commentary, flanked by Tamina.  Nattie has the spinning clothesline turned into a facebuster.  Summer gets a blind tag and taken down for two.  Summer works at Nikki in the ropes and argues with Nattie while AJ argues with Cole and JBL.  Brie gets the lukewarm tag and hits a couple of dropkicks and a knee into the rope.  Summer catches her on the top, and tags in Nattie.  They argue and Brie comes off the top with a double dropkick and a facebuster for the win.  After the match, The Bella Twins and AJ and Tamina look at each other with seriousness.

Final Thoughts:  This was confusing and a bit of a train wreck.


-Backstage, the heels are congratulated by Kane and given rewards.  Rybaxel and The Real Americans both get tag team title matches.  3MB, since they were there, get entered into the battle royal at WrestleMania.  The New Age Outlaws pop in and get super special Attitude Era hugs and tell Kane that he can always count on them.  Let’s just hope that The Shield don’t job to them at WrestleMania.

-Yes, we get it.  Rusev is a bear of a man.  Can he wrestle now?


John Cena vs. Luke Harper

I wish that we had more time for this.  On the bright side, they show that nice video package again before the match.  They wrestle in the corner to begin, with Harper taking control.  Cena gets some rights out of the corner, but misses a charge and takes a neckbreaker for two from Harper.  Luke hits an uppercut and we move into the heat segment early.  Harper gets the Gator Roll and holds into a chinlock.  Cena powers out with a belly-to-back and hits a shoulderblock.  Harper interrupts with an inverted atomic drop and a sweet superkick for two.

Cena goes for the STF, and then hits a slam and look for the fist drop, distracted by Rowan, however.  Harper gets out of the AA and hits a big boot for two.  Luke misses a corner charge and tumbles to the floor.  Back inside, Cena gets the STF, but Harper bites his way out for a nice reversal.  Harper swings him down with a slam for two.  Harper goes for a powerbomb, but we get a Cena-rana.  Harper gets a ‘rana of his own and hits the Michinoku Driver for two.  Harper misses the big clothesline and Cena hits the AA and scampers away before he can be beaten down.

Final Thoughts:  **.  They did alright with the time they had.  I enjoyed the fun in having both guys hit hurricanranas on each other.  Still, a shame they didn’t have another few minutes to work with.


–There wasn’t a standout match on this show, but some good development and a nicely put together beat down on The Shield, which may or may not lead to a more prominent position for them.  If they are destined to work Kane and The New Age Outlaws, we don’t need them becoming stereotypically stupid babyfaces.  The match between Del Rio and Big E needs to be forgotten as it did no favors for either man.    Still, this was an inoffensive couple hours of wrestling on this show.


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