Peter Kostka
From the NXT Arena at Full Sail University. Your commentators are Rich Brennan, Corey Graves and Byron Saxton. Honestly, Saxton really is not needed on this team as they experimented with a two man booth around WrestleMania and I though Brennan and Graves had a great rapport. Saxton just doesn’t really do much for me.
Tonight: Samoa Joe debuts in NXT! That still is a really weird sentence to write.
Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley vs. Mike Rollis and Elias Sampson
Man, Zack looks SO happy to actually be doing something constructive again. Although Mojo is probably one of my least favorite NXT wrestlers because he’s such a one note character and that note is “annoying as fuck”. He’s got a entire row of fans wearing his shirt (including Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski) and they decide to just stand for the entire match for some reason. I’m sure the people behind them are appreciating that. To be honest, Ryder and Mojo actually mesh pretty well together as a pair of outgoing goofballs and NXT could use more tag teams. Zack hits the Broski Boot but Sampson distracts him allowing Rollis to take control. The Mojo fans at least keep the crowd into the match as Zack makes the comeback and hot tag Mojo. He cleans house and the faces finish with Mojo lifting Sampson up and Ryder hitting the Rough Ryder off the second rope for the pin. Mojo in a tag team helps hide his limited ring skills and allows him to at least have someone to play off of until Zack gets sick of the goof and turns on him (which we all know is happening).
An AWESOME Finn Balor promo airs to hype the special from Japan on July 4th. Balor talks about everyone having a demon inside and the choice between suppressing it or releasing it as Balor stands in a white room with cuts to him in his facepaint. Seriously, cut out the ad for the special at the end and they could air this on RAW and Smackdown as a fantastic teaser.
A Dana Brooke hype video. I’m kind of warming up to her; the character is getting there and with all of the talent and coaching the women of NXT are surrounded by, she should be able to pull off some decent matches if she works at it. This is no Eva Marie situation where she quite explicitly said at one point she doesn’t care about training and now that she’s actually doing what she was supposed to be doing all along we’re supposed to suddenly respect her.
EVIL Emma vs. ‘OOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL BLUE PANTS!!!
The most beloved jobber in NXT history has returned! It’s her birthday too! It’s an example of how great NXT can be where a woman that is only known for her wardrobe is one of the most popular parts of the show. Of course if she was on every episode it would lose the specialness of a Blue Pants appearance. And if they ever decide to actually give Leva Bates a contract, they have something to build on. This is a classic jobber match as Emma works her over to start, Pants makes the comeback with some kicks, but Emma ducks a roundhouse and trips her, locking in the Emma Lock for the tap.
Enzo, BIG CASS and Carmella are informed that they will be facing Blake, Murphy and Alexa Bliss next week and have bad things to say about them. Enzo manages to fit in a Hunger Games AND a Fresh Prince of Bel Air reference which proves that he’s awesome. Cass is more to the point as he says NXT would be better off without the tag champs.
Tyler Breeze vs. Bull Dempsey
Man, talk about two guys that are floating adrift in NXT right now. Breeze really should be IC champion right now (regardless of the kiss of death that title can be) and Bull got punked multiple times and is basically a joke having been surpassed in the “tough fat guy” category by Owens and Samoa Joe. The fans chant “Baby Rhyno” at Bull. Breeze is quite obviously a heel but he’s been wrestling heels a lot lately and plays the face role while being very over with the crowd. It’s just a really weird dynamic. Bull goes up so Breeze bails and runs around the ring/ Bull gives chase….and he’s sucking wind within seconds. Breeze rolls him back in and finishes with the Beauty Shot. The commentators crack jokes at Bull’s lack of cardio which bodes really well for the future of this gimmick.
We see Becky Lynch getting saluted by the fans after her Unstoppable title loss against Sasha Banks. That match is still #2 on my WWE MOTY list. She’s in action next.
Becky Lynch vs. Jesse McKay
McKay is one of the new Performance Center recruits. One of the best running gags in NXT is Corey Graves’ intense dislike of Becky’s gimmick. She earned his respect after Unstoppable but that doesn’t excuse the fact that she’s wearing pantaloons. Jesse actually controls a lot of the match with a combination armbar and neck crank until Becky makes the comeback, dropping legs, hitting a kind of inverted Samoan drop and locking in the Dizgoostin’ Armbar (Corey: “The WHAT!?” Rich: “That’s what she calls it!”) for the tap.
GM Regal announces that Kevin Owens will be on commentary for Joe’s match tonight before being interrupted by Bull Dempsey toting Doritos. He says he was up all night “training” and didn’t get enough sleep, but Regal takes his chips away and tells him to shape up. Bull pulls a Hershey bar out of his singlet after Regal leaves. Oh good, a fat shaming gimmick. Those always work. Unless 1995-era Sunny starts leading him to the ring I don’t think Bull Dempsey is long for this world.
Greg Whatshisface interviews Jason Jordan about his tag loss last week. He’s got a new partner in mind and up walks Chad Gable to annoy him like he did a few weeks ago and give him officially licensed Gable hand towels in the hope that it will finally convince Jordan that it’s Gable time. He writes his name on Jordan’s locker as a motivational tactic. I loved every second of this.
Baron Corbin squashes Angelo Dawkins. Next. At least they figured out that he should be a heel, but he’s still super basic in the ring.
Samoa Joe vs. Scott Dawson
Owens is on commentary and it is as awesome as it always is. He promises to protect Byron from the big scary Joe and acts like the jolliest guy this side of Mick Foley. The commentators being on eggshells around him is a great bit of continuity. Saxton, knowing that he is risking a one way trip over the announce table, tries to ask Kevin if Joe shocked the world at Unstoppable, but Owens shocked the world when he beat John Cena (“It was a huge victory. HUUUUUUGE!”) and he’ll do it again at Money in the Bank. Oh PLEASE let that be true. Dawson controls the match as Owens speaks but Joe hits a big back elbow that doesn’t impress Owens (“I have a mean back elbow, guys.”) as Corey completely sucks up to the champ. Joe runs wild on Dawson and Owens actually sells it on commentary by completely brushing it off and saying he’s gonna beat Joe when they fight. Joe hits the Muscle Buster for the pin as Owens gives him a passing grade for his first match, but not as good as his was. He didn’t win with a broken freakin’ nose, after all. Owens chides Rich for being a Joe fanboy during the highlights and decides to bail, but Joe calls him out, telling him that Owens said that if Joe was in the ring with him, Joe would be dropped. He throws down the gauntlet, but Owens doesn’t want to ruin Joe’s first NXT victory by taking him out and he’s a rookie and “you can’t just walk in here and get an NXT title shot after one match!” which is a BRILLIANT line given Owens’ NXT history. GM Regal walks out and agrees that Joe hasn’t earned a title match, but that doesn’t mean that Joe won’t get a match with Owens. In fact, it happens next week. Fucking awesome.
OVERALL: They actually crammed quite a bit into the 50 or so minutes this episode took. We have two matches set for next week, a new tag team and quite a few people got some meaningful TV time. That is why NXT is one of the best wrestling shows on TV: they know how to get to the point on things and not waste time because they don’t have time to waste each week. Contrast that with RAW and its “here’s two guys wrestling for the 1000th time because reasons and isn’t John Cena great!” approach.
That’s it for this week. If you want to send feedback I’m on Twitter @PKIsTwitting (yeah, I think it’s dumb too) or by e-mail. See you next week.
