Chad Numbers
Total Divas Complete Recap 8-18-2013
We start off this episode with Nattie and Nikki lingerie shopping. Nattie says that ever since TJ got injured, they have no sex life. Nikki and Nattie are now trying on lingerie together. Nikki talks about Nattie and TJ having sex. Nikki definitely seems to love her some sex talk.
Nikki is talking about her new breasts. She doesn’t know why Brie doesn’t get them. Ariane is worried about her small chest, stuffing her dress with paper towels to overcompensate.
The Bellas and Funkadactyls are going out for an autograph signing. Ariane is jealous of Nikki’s boobs and comments on how all the guys are looking at them during the autograph signing. Ariane is making an appointment for breast augmentation and is making Trinity go with her.
Bryan and Brie are looking for somewhere to eat while sitting in bed. Brie tells Bryan about how she is worried about her weight. She says she would like to lose three pounds for the SummerSlam photo shoot to look her best. She wants to look her best because it is the first photoshoot since they went back to the company.
Nattie comes home to TJ (Tyson Kidd) who is her fiancé. TJ is sitting on the couch watching Extreme Rules. Nattie misses her relationship with TJ. She throws on her lingerie to try to get his interest. He couldn’t be any less interested and continues to watch wrestling while commenting on how well Bryan Danielson is doing.
Nikki is meeting with both Jojo and Eva Marie to get something to eat. They are talking about Instagram. Nikki is worried about people calling her fat on Instagram. She is really upset about it and starts crying.
Brie and Bryan are eating with Nikki. Nikki decides to get desert while Brie and Daniel decide not to. Brie is worried they don’t look like twins anymore due to Nikki’s boobs and eating habits. Nikki agrees to go twenty days without alcohol or desert.
Trinity and Jon are in LA. Ariane is taking Trinity with her to the doctor visit for her potential breast augmentation. Ariane’s dog is about to throw up on Jon while in the car so Jon has to put her in her crate before she throws up. Ariane and Trinity go back to the doctor’s office while Jon stays in the waiting room. Ariane is feeling the lady who took them back to the office’s boobjob.
Jon is brought back by Trinity to see and feel the lady’s boobs. Jon is clearly uncomfortable. Ariane is trying out the implants given to her by the doctor. Trinity has Ariane trying out their routine with the implants in her top. It will probably be a month at least for her recovery if she got the surgery. It would be two months tops for recovery.
The Bellas are going to a juice bar. Brie is making Nikki detox all the alcohol and bad food that is currently in her system. Brie wants Nikki to drink 5 of the “Go Green, Go” shakes a day instead of eating bad food.
Nattie is eating lunch with TJ. They are talking about a potential wedding.We find out that they’ve been together for over a decade. TJ is more focused on rehabbing his injury than Nattie. Nattie is not happy with this conversation.
Bellas are talking about the juice cleanse during their car ride. Nikki is really hungry is and ready to slaughter a cow and eat its flesh.
Jon and Trinity are by the pool and Ariane joins them with her implants in her bikini. She says she has to do the test drive 100%. Ariane does the Baywatch run to jump in the pool to “save” Trinity. The implants come out of Ariane’s top and Trinity is amazed the implants float.
The Bellas are in Nikki’s apartment, talking about their day. Brie is suspicious of Nikki. She has found an empty wine bottle in her trash can. (Editor’s Note: Twins know when their twin is acting like an alcoholic.) She also finds a muffin in her trash. Brie lecturers her about cheating on the detox. Brie says “No wonder people call you fat on Twitter.” They are now fighting over Nikki’s weight. Brie feels Nikki is throwing it all away.
Ariane is about to show her boyfriend Vincent her new implants. She shows him different options. Vincent is sweating all over the place over some implants.
Brie is rubbing Nikki’s weight in her face during their SummerSlam photoshoot. Nikki says what people say about her weight hurts her feelings. She says Brie should be supporting her instead of making her feel like shit.
Brie is trying to find Nikki to talk to her about her weight. Nikki is telling Brie that she’s insecure, and begins to cry. Brie says she’s just trying to help her, but is projecting her insecurities. Brie apologizes to Nikki and says it’s OK if they don’t look identical. They are twins; not clones.
Nattie and TJ are going for a car ride. TJ is taking her to what Nattie considers a bad neighborhood. TJ is taking her to a courthouse to make their marriage official. (Editor’s Note: You’d think a technical wrestler would know that this quick fix is a bad idea!) Nattie does not want this type of marriage. Nattie is telling TJ that he doesn’t care and is not romantic. She says he pays more attention to the cats than her and that he is pathetic. She says she’s not even getting married to him, as TJ copping out on the wedding.
Ariane is hopping around with her boobs bouncing and Damien Sandow walks past her, no selling the whole thing. She wants them sewn into her costume. Ariane worries about her changing her body because she doesn’t want to set a bad example for all of her fans. The seamstress wants Ariane to get her boobs done. She says she wants to see beautiful women on TV and not a flat chested girl. (Editor’s Note: I’m not sure that is a better example for young women, but whatevs.)
Ariane is showing off her new boobs in her outfit to the Bellas, Jojo and Eva Marie. Someone has taken one of Ariane’s implants and hidden it from her. Trinity finds it amusing. Ariane has been using padding in her top the whole time and may have to go back to it for tonight. Ariane has to stuff her top with toilet paper.
Brie tells Cena that they played a prank on Ariane. Nikki admits to taking her implants. Cena says that it was not nice to do that. Ariane says that one boob is deflating while the other pushes out more while she is ringside for the match. Nikki apologizes and hugs her and tells her she was just trying to do a joke. Brie says they are already fan favorites and Ariane doesn’t need the boobs. Ariane is not too sure about getting them, quite yet. She says she wants to embrace her natural body and wants her fans to feel the same way. Brie throws in the implants to see what she would look like with them in.
Nattie comes home to TJ with him standing with rose petals and candles lit by the pool. Nattie is speechless by the gesture. Nattie apologizes for being out of line. She says that she didn’t mean to be so overbearing. (Editor’s Note: Calling him pathetic might have been a bit much. He survived The Hart Dungeon, after all.) Nattie is thinking of a beach wedding. TJ agrees to the idea.
